It’s pretty much an indisputable fact: San Francisco is the best place in the world if you’re a gay man. And not.
Except we’re not exactly committed here (surprise, surprise). That’s because while we love San Francisco and totally believe it is the best place to live for gay men, we also think it’s the worst.
So here you have it: 10 reasons why San Francisco is the best and worst place for gay men.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
You instantly notice this reality the first time you set foot in the City by the Bay: Gay guys have taken over. And we’re not just the sparkly appendage-sock sporting daddies in the Castro. Gays have infiltrated basically every neighborhood and every profession. Skinny jeans and scarves reign from SOMA to the Presidio, and those “tech bros” you hear about in the news all the time? Yeah, gay.
Ready to party with the San Franciscans? Check out the San Francisco City Guide for the watering holes in every neighborhood–and that includes the Peninsula and the East Bay.
Worst: Gay Men Are Everywhere…And They’re Flaky
Sure, there may be 100,000 strong in San Francisco, and that should spell options…but not always. Gay men in San Francisco are always on the lookout for the next best thing.
Best: SF Is An International Destination
San Francisco is one of the most visited cities in the world. From the unmatched cuisine to its natural beauty, San Francisco has something for everyone. That goes for the gays, too: Bears, otters, twinks…we’ve got it all and then some.
So whether you’re in the mood for something exotic or plain, all you have to do is step into the nearest bar. Soccer players from Brazil? Tourists from Germany? You never know who you’re going to meet.
Worst: You’ll Hardly Ever Meet A Local
That boy you took home last night? He’s from Austria and is leaving tomorrow. You’ll probably never see him again.
Best: The Weather
From the fog-shrouded shores of the Sunset (that’s the ‘hood next to the Pacific Ocean, for you out-of-towners) to sunny North Beach, San Francisco is home to dozens of microclimates. Which means you’ll be the proud owner of one of the most eclectic wardrobes ever.
Worst: The No-Fog Real Estate Premium
Depending on where you can afford to live you’ll either see sun or fog. Regardless, if you step out your door, a change of clothes will be compulsory. The sun may be blazing in SOMA, but it’ll be chilly in the Castro.
Sounds like it’s about time to go shopping.
Best: Hot Bodies Are Everywhere
San Francisco is one of the fittest cities in the nation. And that can only mean one thing: Lots of eye candy. The city’s burgeoning population of models and stars also adds to said eye candy factor. You’ll never run out of firm butts and bulging triceps to ogle, but if you really need a fix it’s best to hit one of the city’s frequented gay gyms.
Worst: There Are Too Many Options
San Francisco is gay. It’s fit. It’s a beautiful place to live. Is it possible that there are too many good options? Absolutely. Whether it’s wandering eyes on the street or one of the 40 gay apps, the next hottest guy you’ve ever seen is always right around the corner.
Best: There’s Always Something Crazy Going On
Folsom Street Fair! Bay to Breakers! Pride! Castro Street Fair! From street festivals and parades to circuit parties, you’ll never run out of things to do.
Worst: Good Luck Enjoying A Quiet Day
Staying in this weekend to relax? Yeah, but your gurls are gonna be blowing up your phone until you meet them at that awesome party on Treasure Island. For the third week in a row. If you’re going to be out anyway, you might as well pick something you’ll enjoy.
What did we miss any more love/hate things about SF? Let us know in the comments…
andy_d
Don’t forget the rotten attitude. Lived in SF area for a few years. If you don’t live IN the city itself and/or have a Norsdstrom’s card, you’re just SOL.
1EqualityUSA
Fort Funston is beautiful if you have a dog. It’s like doggie heaven out there. Off leash and all different shapes and sizes. Sweeping, dramatic views of the ocean, beach access, wooded trails, dunes, and the sweetest people on Earth. I disagree with the above comment about attitude. Most people here couldn’t give a shit about status stuff. The friends I hang with are healthy, natural, unpretentious, Democrats, and happy to live here. The summers are cool, the winters are cooler, so if heat is your thing that may get to you. Everywhere we go, grocery store, vets, restaurants, mechanics, dry cleaners, people are so nice. Our neighbors are so sweet. The dry cleaners we use will do peoples suits for free if you have a pending job interview and are hunting for employment. I saw a lady feed a meter of a car that didn’t belong to her because the meter reader was coming. I love San Francisco.
Chris
To me, the absolutely worst (and possibly, only bad) thing about San Francisco is its price. It has gotten to the point where, unless you inherited a home there or you are a member of the 1%, living in the city is out of the question. And visiting there is fast becoming a save-for-five-years sort of proposition.
wagnerwallace
This list is not bull.
SF is filled with dirty old men and hippies… If you want “hot bodies” and “eye candy” go to LA, not SF lol
wagnerwallace
*This list is bull.
petensfo
This reads like a marketing piece… vapid, regurgitated bullshiz; not ‘real’ SFO at all.
There often is some craZy event happening all the time… I’ll give you that. But there really has been a shift & there are a ton of really super-entitled people these days. Add that to standing in 30 person lines for coffee or ice cream? I’ll pass.
On the other side of the spectrum, there’s a reason people jokingly call it, “People Republic of SFO” and that far-left crowd can be as crazy-inducing as the billionaires now displacing the millionaires.
And let’s be honest… it’s freezing there… A LOT! lol
vive
I am surprised the unaffordability of SF didn’t make the list. That would be, like, worst reason number 1.
How can all these supposed oodles and oodles of gay men afford to live there? Even many millionaires can’t afford to buy homes there. Hell, you have to have a 6 figure salary just to be able to rent a halfway crappy apartment. Do they all have trust funds? Or all they all tourists?
Desert Boy
Average price of an apartment in SF is $4,200 a month. A 900 sq ft, 2 bedroom, 1 bath Dolger house in the cold, moldy outer Sunset will set you back $900,000. These price realities have a huge impact on quality of life and have transformed “the City” into a sort of third world city like New Delhi, India. Before I finally wised up and moved 400 miles south to the much maligned Southern California, I worked with a great guy from Dublin, Ireland. He was living in a garage near Dolores Park with 5 of his countrymen who immigrated to San Francisco for a better life. Even pooling their 6 incomes, they couldn’t find an apartment or “flat” to rent in the “City by the Bay”.
NoCagada
“Gay men in San Francisco are always on the lookout for the next best thing.”
Don’t straights generalize gays enough??? We don’t need ourselves to do it to us, too.
TrueWords
San Francisco saw increased cases of sexually transmitted diseases for the eighth consecutive year in 2013.
According to preliminary numbers from the city’s public health department, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and early syphilis continued their upward climb last year.
http://www.ebar.com/news/article.php?sec=news&article=69499
Stache99
Pulease. I’ve lived there for three years (1997-2000) and what a puff piece. I still miss that city though. It is beautiful. However, it’s sooo…expensive and that was back when I lived there. I can’t even imagine what it would be today.
If you want to live there you’d better prepared to come in with allot of money or be prepared to sell your ass for a filty closet. Honestly, if I was to do it again I’d live out in the surrounding areas.
Stache99
I do remember meeting lots of international travelers during the Spring and Summer. I felt more like I was living in a resort. I was young and had a hot body so I had a field day.
The micro climates are kind of fun. The fog comes in creeping down the street. One minute it’s 80 out and then the next your running for your jacket.
The best food I’ve ever had. 5 star restaurants everywhere in walking distance.
SF is allot smaller then most people think. You especially notice that when all the visitors leave after the summer and it’s back to the locals where everyone knows each other.
ric
Andy. You are oh so right. If you don’t look or act a certain way. Forget it.
Maude
SF is no longer the Gay Mecca it once was, but where else can we go?
We have our backs to the ocean, and our fronts
pointing east, but no one wants to go any farther east than Vegas, and that’s become a disney disaster.
TrueWords
@Maude: pretty much ALL major cities are NOW a GAY MECCA…to move somewhere to live a pretense of a dream is a shame and very limiting…there is nothing that San Francisco is offering that many other cities are offering…their are clusters of gay neighborhoods to be found everywhere…
http://www.advocate.com/travel/2014/01/06/2014s-gayest-cities-america
Hillers
@vive: I’m not sure what the stats are, but many people have rent control. Rent only goes up about 3% a year. Sucks, of course, if you’re a newbie moving into the city.
Redbeard83
I don’t know who the writer associates with in this city, but my experience is completely different. Surround yourself with good people and you wont have flakes. Too many options? Fine. Go be bored. Good luck finding a quiet place? You’ve got to be kidding me. Walk outside of the fucking Castro, tool. We have tons of beautiful places here. This article is sad. It’s really just click bait.
Stache99
@Hillers: So there’s nothing between “young, bearded hipster types” and “waxed, plucked and buffed types” in SF. Good to know.
Hillers
True on all counts, except for the hot bodies part. Gay dudes in SF do run the gamut, but there are a great many young, bearded hipster types. Not nearly as many waxed, plucked and buffed types.
Otherwise, yes, it’s heaven on a stick! I never want to leave and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.
wpewen
Lived there 30 years ago and even then it was becoming not really a “city.” Got to be around the last of the old timers at work, many straight, vestiges of mid twentieth century SF when a really happening place. Now, facebook buses driving workers through neighborhoods to peek at neighborhoods behind the glass.
Most urban gay scenes have the minstrel show quality, SF takes it to the max. I didn’t (don’t) dig seeing guys looking Felliniesque. It’s fun it that’s what you want Restaurants are great I’m sure, and the rest. You’ll get laid better in San Diego.
pjm1
Not all the guys are flaky, BUT
if someone says they will call you tomorrow, understand that
“tomorrow” is actually a concept here, tomorrow is not an actual day,
tomorrow is theoretical and philosophical concept not constrained by time,
like there will be a tomorrow ten years from today that is tomoooorrrrrrrooooooo
oooowwwwww too.
browngay
@Desert Boy: White Boy your days of American colonialism are going to be soon over. New Delhi, India is an upcoming city and such derogatory comments just show your settler mentality.
For all the myth of the fun loving city you have made yourself you people do have a very nasty closed minded and prejudiced mind. No wonder you were always in the news for your bigoted bars against Asians in the 80s and black in the 90s. the Indians who have been victims of gay racism never protested but don’t think we don’t know what you people think, white boy. even the desert wont be able hide you….
mezzacanadese
I am the proud mother of a gay son, and I am glad that we both live here in San Francisco. It is absolutely the best place in the world for gay people. All my gay friends have expressed happiness at living here. The church I attend has many gay members, all of whom are “out”. As for the expense of living here, if you are lucky enough to live in an old building, you may be protected by rent control. San Francisco is a wonderful place to live, gay or straight, and I love, love, love it!
Desert Boy
@browngay: You might benefit greatly from psycho therapy.
1EqualityUSA
pjm1…you are so funny. God, this is such a fun comment!
Flaneur
If it weren’t for the tech industry — which, admittedly, is hugely important — San Franciso would not be a leading city. And it’s still not
Flaneur
And it’s still not a world city in the way, say, New York or Shanghai are world cities. But I suppose that’s just the ex-New Yorker in me talking.
browngay
@Desert Boy: and you might benefit from Prejudice Therapy. It is high time they introduce it for western boys like u
Hillers
@Stache99: The second sentence in my post reads as such: “Gay dudes in SF do run the gamut.” So yes, naturally, there is an in-between.
winemaker
This column has been very interesting reading and I’d like to add my thoughts:. I’ve lived in San Francisco since December 1981. When I first came here on vacation in 1979, I remember the gay men here as being friendly without a lot of nonsensical attitude, very unlike West Hollywood, where I was living and working. I’d come out a couple of years before and liked the fact that the ‘City’ was somewhat friendly and thought San Francisco would be a great fresh start. I was single at the time and was going through my personal transformation, both emotionally and physically. When I came out in June 1977, I was very much overweight and remember being treated very rudely by the gays in West Hollywood. I decided then and there to make some drastic changes. I started going to a gym and dieting. The weight came off in spurts, (it never comes off quickly, does it)? Over the years, I’ve lost a lot of weight and try to eat right and get to the gym regularly. Through the years of living in San Francisco, I’ve found the gay men here to be some of the most arrogant and rude men around. It seems if you aren’t their ‘type’, permanently or ‘currently’, they either give you attitude, are patently rude to you, or ignore you altogether Pity, these guys have personality problems I don’t have time to get into. It seems that an above comment, that many men are flaky and are looking for their next ‘hot’ conquest seems all too common. Gay men need to learn some basic common courtesies and start treating people as they’d like to be treated. Just because a guy isn’t your ‘type’, is no reason to be rude to him. Try being nice, you’d be surprised where it’ll get you!
The fact that the cost of living here is going through the roof is a sad state of affairs. Many of the jobs here don’t pay well enough to afford a decent lifestyle. Employers here seem to think that oodles of highly skilled and qualified people are willing to work for less money to be able to live here. compounds things. Also, it seems that the city is also getting very third world, dirty streets, more crime etc.
1EqualityUSA
Flaneur…thankfully.
Desert Boy
@browngay: All I heard was blah, blah, blah.
SeaNMtnsJon
Whenever I read about gay men treating each other badly, as some of the comments have suggested also re SF, I instantly think it’s because we as a community are awash in insecurity. And the most dangerous and sad insecurity is from those where its deeply buried to the point where they don’t think they have an issue. I don’t care how hot you are, how much money you have, or which group is currently the flavor of the week, if you DO NOT treat human beings well – you’re out. Notice I said human beings and not gay men? It’s so EASY to be cool and not treat people like crap. And when you treat people like crap.. you really are making a statement about yourself. The article about SF that touches on some of this – why when gay men live in packs do we begin to treat each other badly? So strange. I love SF but being from SOCAL – I grew up here it is my home and I can jump in and out of the gay community as I see fit. I agree with the article if you live in SF — it is your entire life. We slowly are not having to live in packs anymore. Slowly the middle of the country is taking a bit longer to come along. I mean, coming from Los Angeles SF is just too COLD at times anyway. LOL. And yes, Weho can be a place where shade is thrown quite often so don’t live on Santa Monica Blvd. There’s more to life then the gay ghetto gentlemen, if you’re happy just doing that – awesome. But for those of you who want to step our and try and experience more to live — I urge you to do so. The clubs, flashy lights, and little sparkly things will still be there should you ever want to return to it. Last rambling point: next time you see a gay dude out… think about how you took 10 minutes making sure your hair was in the right place or stressing because you couldn’t see that 8 pack because its only 6…. the fat dude probably stressed as well yet he’s still out — as are you. Always be kind – it’s easier. I give huge props to those guys when I see them out. It takes a lot of guts and everyone in the end just wants to be loved men. If you’re looking for it in SF… I agree with the writer you may not find it as easily but you probably will find good sex in whatever shape, size, form or category you prefer. I hear they even have GINGER OTTTERS. Gooddddy! Sigh, can’t we all just be M E N.
SeaNMtnsJon
Really should preview before I post and before Sunday coffee, typo central here’s a couple I care to alter this morning lol:
– ….experience more to *life
– ….Last rambling point: next time you see a gay **overweight dude out…
ronsfo
I love this article about San Francisco, well written informative but it only speaks to the glossy superficial elements of Gay culture in my native City. I have lived through the rise and fall of The Castro, Folsom St., Polk St., Haight St. and various other areas of The City LGBTQ folks have frequented over the past 50 years.
But one doesn’t have to dig too deep below the glossy surface to see the marginalized members of Gay culture in San Francisco. “A” list elite Gay techies can buy a million dollar condo on upper Market near The Castro with a spectacular view and look down at the sidewalk below and watch the homeless rummaging through the trash cans. Among the homeless, are desperate Gay youth discarded and stigmatized by their families and society, many end up in The City because it’s a Gay friendly environment only to be relegated to ruthless survival on the streets of San Francisco. Others struggle in fear of the eviction; Gay elderly, long time HIV survivors, the disabled, the addicted and the mentally challenged. A result of rocketing costs of housing initiated by; real estate greed, hungry construction companies and opportunistic landlords all wanting to cash in on the San Francisco tech rush.
Despite all of The City’s negative elements I still love San Francisco and my village: The Castro.
ric
No one has brought this up. As a Gay Black male it is hard to live in this city. Some of you will disagree with me. But believe me it is. And the ones that will disagree with me aren’t even Black. So don’t go and say that I am playing the race card. Because I’m not. We gay black men (not all). But most are looked at as trophies to older white men. And the younger white don’t bother to even look our way. Not all young white men.But some. We as a Gay community need to pull together and stick together. Because what we are winning we can easily lose. Republicans won both chambers and they are going to fight us tooth and nail now. So let’s pull together.
vive
@ronsfo, yes. And let’s also remember that the Castro homeowner queens have a very ugly recent history of opposing the establishment of a community center catering to minority youth anywhere near their multimillion neighborhood. Gay men who have money can be even more r@cist and classist than the straight bourgeoisie they are so eager to be a part of.
tdx3fan
Best and Worst: SF is so incredibly overrated.
Best because it means everyone wants to go there at least once.
Worst because once they go there once anyone with a mind wants to get as far away as possible. The best neighborhood in SF is in San Jose.
HenryLA55
I love San Francisco! I have lived here for 15 years and am on vacation everyday! The men, the weather, the men, the food, the men, the skyline, the men, the night life and did I mention the men? I am single adn mature (60) I enjoy meeting men every place I go in the city and they are interesting and intelligent! I find great conversations about all topics you could imagine, the conversations do not always end up in bed but frequently they do and that can only be a huge plus. If you want to visit or just meet a man for an interesting date San Francisco is the right place!