Yoga! It’s like sports, but you don’t have to move very quickly.
As everyone knows, the most important element of yoga is wearing sexy soft pants. Earlier today, we set out to buy ourselves a pair (not for yoga, but for sitting around the house and blogging more comfortably), but soon found ourselves totally distracted by the models.
Here, we present to you, the results of our diligent research, starting with this man in the classic pose “Punching Invisible Leprechauns.”
Next time you’re yogaing, try a flashing a little tummy at the instructor. If that’s too subtle, just wear a sleek black one-piece hoodie-bikini (hoodkini).
According to the listing for these trousers, the brand name is “Men Man.” We believe this is supposed to be pronounced with exasperation, as in “Ugh, men! Man oh man.”
This is advertised as a “yoga shirt,” probably because it has the word “namaste” and a profile of the Karate Kid on it.
Yes, there’s nothing like gazing at a beautiful sunset for perking up one’s nipples, among other body parts.
This is what is known in graphic design circles as “client requested Star Trek font, but not exactly the Star Trek font, but really close.”
Anyway, this is apparently what a “real man” looks like. Sorry, all you women who do yoga. You are actually really men.
Okay, settle down, Fabio, you’re modeling stretch pants not Herbal Essences.
Here are some rayon yoga pants on an unfortunate victim of whiplash. Poor guy will never be able to see his own shoes ever again.
“But wait,” you might be saying, “why did they put a woman on the cover of a DVD called ‘Men’s Yoga?’” Ah but that’s no ordinary woman. If you’ll notice, she’s conjured up one of those tiny little green yoga men. Look out, lady! He’s got sass!
Nope, sorry, no, you can pout all you like, but these pants will never be sexy. Dressing in Dick Van Dyke’s trousers from the penguin scene in Mary Poppins will get you nowhere.
Ah yes another classic yoga pose. This one is called “Average Ceiling Height of New York Apartment.” Also, we’re loving how these pants say “prude in the front, slut on the sides.”
Well what have we here! Quadruplets? Send in the clones!
Yes, little wooden friend. We know just how you feel. Oh, wait, that’s your knee? Never mind.