It’s been some time since we masterminded the Barbie Dream House’s first gay sex tape, undressing two Ken dolls and smashing them together in some kind of erotic, anatomically incorrect fantasy version of what we thought gay sex might look like.
But we’re adults now, and we don’t need to play games like that. That’s why we’ve graduated from simulating sex with Ken dolls to simulating sex with One Direction dolls.
Apparently other desperate Directioners have caught on to the trend, and some are even posting their wild One Direction sexploits on the web! Below, the 13 best ways to enjoy your One Direction dolls:
Domination. (The Varsity jacket and work boots are essential.)
Clothed orgy. Don’t try this at home, it looks dangerous!
Share your love of Zayn.
Create a steamy makeout sesh!
Dress Liam up like the leather pig you know he is.
Make them strip!
Share your sneaker fetish.
Just go crazy!!
This playdate was fun. Same time next week?