Local News Station Finds Marms Atwitter over Neighbor’s Tacky Penis Display
Abner! Come look out the window. You’ll never guess what the Stevens family is up to this time.
Abner! I said come look. It’s absolutely filthy. They must think it’s art. Art! Why, the very idea. I’m going to go call all the girls in the bridge club right this second and tell them to peer our their windows. Everyone should see this rotten, tasteless display.
Abner, what is this world coming to? Why can’t some art just be left in the doggone museum? What are we supposed to tell the children? We haven’t even talked to them about sex yet. Yes, I know the statue isn’t actually doing anything sexual. But it makes me think about sex when I should be thinking about needlepoint, and we can’t have that.
For Christ’s sake, Abner, why won’t somebody do something? I know. I’ll do something. I’ll call the news. Yes, that nice reporter Julie Knucklefoot down at the local WRRZ ought to be able to put together quite a tidy little package for the 6pm newscast. That’ll get some tongues wagging. I won’t be satisfied until this penis has been thrust into the face of everyone in the tri-state area.
Oh, Abner, what do you mean, I should just call the Stevens family and ask them to take the statue down? Don’t talk rubbish. Now, take your hands out of your pants and get me the phone book.
Via Wicked Gay Blog
Sabrina! Did you turn the Pool Man into art again?
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I think one post every day should be done in the style of Gladys Kravitz.
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Where is this? Down Yellow Brick Rd, past Cinderella Lane and make a right on Lollipop Trail?
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I would prefer to make illegal those lawn statues of dwarfs and elves, the ones of guys under a cactus in a sombrero, and the lawn jockeys.
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judging by the detail and quality of the modeling in the hand and face and hair how anatomically correct can it be? it’s a tacky piece of crap that vaguely references Michelangelo’s David. this is a case for the fashion police not the morality police.
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If he was going to be tacky, he should have at least gone all-out and updated the statue’s genitalia. As it stands, I don’t think small uncut penises are really provoking any sort of sexual reaction from anyone.
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The same people upset over this probably think nothing of taking their kid to see a movie where people are stabbed of blown up.
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Wow where the hell is this? I hope the people don’t take their art down. And I love the Gladys Kravitz style posting! Brilliant!
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That black bitch needs to take a seat and grow some courage to talk about her kids about sex education, otherwise her kids will grow up to be crack whores and strippers
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Lol. New Queerty wins for epic Bewitched references…
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Abilene, TX.
The whole thing is horrifying
One question for all involved…
WHY?!?!
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i love how she says “if i have time i will knock on their door”…so basically you really dont care if they take it down since you “might not” have time to ask them…it is a famous piece of art and just needs to be left alone…
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“Mom what is this”
HA HA HA HA HA. What a bunch of ignorant women with nothing else do to. If the kid is asking, why has it taken so long for her to tell he/her what it is. And if it’s a him asking, she got more troubles then her son not knowing what his dick is.
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I think its rather funny that parents get so concerned about their kids asking about the genitals of a statue, but those same kids see their own “privates” every day in the mirror. most have asked by age five or six at the latest….what answer did you give them then that you cant give them now? Sorry, I grew up knowing that boys had “weewees” and girls had “vajayjays”. There is a huge difference between knowing what they are and knowing what they are for. One comes with self awareness, the other with puberty ihmo. gah. Oh, and also, wasnt there some debate about this EXACT statue in ancient times??? does this prove we really havn’t moved out of the stoneage???
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Show me a black girl who hasn’t seen a penis by the time she’s 13, and I’ll show you a blind girl.
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What if a kid left their anatomically correct doll in the yard?
Shame over genitals is often dressed up as concern for children – but childhood innocence is a fantasy of the anxious adult.