Having a gay relative has got to be every young gay guy’s dream, although I had no clue that I had gay uncle that has been living in San Francisco since 1988. Which is a bummer; I can only imagine how great it would have been to know that I had a queer uncle in the gayest city in the world.
Complicated family dynamics prevented me from even knowing of his existence until five years ago, and this New Yorker wasn’t able to make the cross-country trek to meet him… until now.
After completing my media studies at Columbia University this year, I was selected to participate in the National Gay and Lesbian Journalists Association’s Student Connect Program in San Francisco. I decided to use the opportunity to produce a video that would document the meeting.
I approached the day with trepidation.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
This is what happened.
Rob Smith is a multimedia journalist and author of Closets, Combat and Coming Out: Coming of Age as a Gay Man in the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Army. He lives in New York City.
This piece was produced with the support and guidance of the NLGJA Connect Program. For more information and to see samples of other work produced during the convention, visit the website.
Nick Marriott
Hope they didn’t suck each other off before they discovered this!
Stefano Gant
Wow. Such a moving story. Congratulations.
Jim McHardy
What a fantastic story It is to bad they couldn’t of connected sooner
Jeremie
@Nick Marriott: Classy.
qsw84
Great story. Its good to have someone in the family who is gay. My eldest brother is gay and we are best friends.
girldownunder
This is at once happy & sad. Why did the parents keep this a secret from their gay son? Why wouldn’t they want him to have someone in the family he could relate to & confide in? They lost fifteen freaking years! I’m angry at the parents, for sure…
That being said, I’m happy for them to have met & to likely reconnect as family.
PS: Nick Marriott- you’re a f*ckwit.
Blackceo
What a lovely story. I have a very big family and I am the only out person male or female. I wish I had a male cousin or some other male relative to share it with. I still feel like a few people in my family don’t quite know what to say at family gatherings with my fiancé around. You can tell the ones who are totally fine with asking questions about our lives and how the wedding planning is coming and those who just make small talk. But then there are a few who seem to just ask too many questions like we are the spokespersons for everything gay. It’s not that I think the ones who make small talk are homophobic but they are older and I think simply don’t know what to say even though the questions and conversation one would have with a gay couple are no different (for the most part) that one would ask a hetero couple. But an older gay family member to help me navigate the struggles of acceptance and dating men would’ve been helpful.
Zenguy
@Nick Marriott:
Really? That’s all you got from this story? Sad.
Tackle
@Nick Marriott: I can see they are not the kind to do that…
GayEGO
Wow! I am so happy Rob Smith has a gay uncle he can meet with and confide in. It would have made me feel better about myself, knowing that I liked boys when I was growing up in Idaho. Thanks for sharing your story!
martinbakman
Love the pic with box of raison bran on top of the fridge. Reminds me of home. Nice story.
alphacentauri
I’m also the only out LGBT person in my family.
Masc Pride
@Nick Marriott: I highly doubt they’d be each other’s type. lol
Masc Pride
@Blackceo: It seems there is no level of conversation that will suffice. It bothers you when they prefer not to talk about it, but it also bothers you when they show too much interest. Don’t be such a diva.
zooby
@Masc Pride: At least he is comfortable in his own skin unlike you who staunchly defend remaining in the closet, queen. 🙂
Paul
For me being gay is a family affair too! I am a mixed-race (black and Mexican) gay man. My black father is a closeted bisexual man and my only other sibling is a lesbian woman of color.
silveroracle
Good to have somebody in the family who is gay. My little sister is gay. We are close.
norsequeen
As far as I know, I am the only bisexual or gay person in my whole extended family. This article & video was sort of bittersweet because they found each other & have such a rapport, things in common besides being gay men, but I can’t imagine his parents not telling him about his uncle when he came out to them. Were they that much in denial? It makes me wonder about my family, if there are others & we’re just not talking about it because we’re all in denial. Now they’ve met & now they can enjoy each other for the rest of their lives & that’s so wonderful!
girldownunder
@norsequeen: Except that statistically speaking, you’re very likely NOT the “only bisexual or gay person” in your extended family…just as with this lucky fellow.
Hopefully, whoever they are, they’ll eventually make it known/come out?
Cheers
Blackceo
@Masc Pride:
I was waiting for someone to say that. I didn’t say I was bothered with either. You assumed that. That is how it is and how it feels and I said its a few on both ends. There’s a few you can tell don’t quite know what to say and those who think I am the gay encyclopedia. It is what it is. I love my family, but I would love to have a gay cousin or someone to share the experience with and have a chuckle over it all.
Michael Miller
Such a great story, I hope they build on it and give us more. Write a book, or since your uncle is into film produce a documentary or movie!
Kangol
Such a beautiful story, Queerty! Thank you posting it!
Masc Pride
@Blackceo: I didn’t assume. It’s what you said. Apparently you must’ve been aware of how it reads if you were waiting on someone to say what I said. A lot of guys, particularly in your community, have families that don’t want it discussed at all even if it’s known. Your family is eager to know more and you’re complaining because they haven’t found the precise balance between interest and disinterest that will please you. Sounds kinda bratty, dude.
Blackceo
@Masc Pride:
Once again, I didn’t say I was bothered. The overall context of what I was trying to say as it relates to the story being told by this man meeting his gay uncle is that it would be nice to have someone to share it with because when you are the only one it does sometimes feel like being a test animal. So not bothered per se, but overwhelming to the point at times that I wish I had someone to understand and someone else who could field the same questions. Your interpretation is wrong. The end!!!
Masc Pride
@Blackceo: You’ve certainly got a lot of complaints for someone who’s not bothered. You’re wording your posts wrong. Once again, you must’ve known how it came across since you were waiting on someone to say exactly what I said. The end!!!
Blackceo
@Masc Pride:
Yeah because I’m not going to have someone twist around my meaning for something because they interpreted it wrong. So yeah Im gonna defend my words. If you didn’t understand then oh well. At this point I’ve spent more time on it than I should have and am out of fucks to give.