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16 Reasons Richard Simmons Is (Still) Winning The Internet

There’s no denying that 66-year-old Richard Simmons is equipped with as much (if not more) youthful vigor than that time the cast of Glee went rollerskating with One Direction.

And it is perhaps his seemingly infinite well of zeal that makes him such a natural at locking down the perfect Facebook presence while most people his age either A. still aren’t 100 percent on what “status update” means, or B. just truly don’t give a shit.

If you don’t already, you should follow him. Especially if you’re fed up with all the dumb videos your friends have been posting. Richard’s posts will be a rainbow burst of sunshine and unabashed positivity in your otherwise jaded, snarky online experience (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Here are 16 of his more recent photo uploads, which double as reasons why he is still winning the internet.

Elizabeth Taylor drag…what else do you need?


This. You need this.


His captions really tie the room together, too. “Do blondes have more…fun?!”


“Are you looking for a housekeeper? I’m available.”


“Join me on my new ride!”


Yes, Richard.




“Don’t forget to have fun!” 


Don’t worry, we won’t.


Not if you keep posting pictures like these.


And these.


Then there’s his celebrity endorsements. Like Jimmy Kimmel dressed as Richard.


The one and only Jane Fonda.


SNL‘s Bill Hader.


Aubrey Plaza of Parks and Recreation.


Kristen Wiig and Will Forte? Sold.


By:           Dan Tracer
On:           Jul 29, 2014
Tagged: ,
    • redcarpet30

      UH that’s not JUST Aubrey Plaza in that photo! How dare you not mention
      Daniel Franzese, the openly gay actor from Mean Girls!

      No “You go Glen Coco” for you!

      Jul 29, 2014 at 2:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LuckyboyLA

      Being within his age range myself, and sexually active, ( Kink scene), with men younger and men his age, I’ve always seen a real sadness behind his front of ‘Happy- Happy’. Even way back in the 80’s. Now his schitch, those short 70’s nylon running short so hot 45 yrs ago, the sparkly tank tops, The Elton John ‘Tommy’ glasses, mini-skirts(?), it may look like ‘unabashed positivity’ to you, but to me, it looks like a desperate grasp to hold on to an unreal to begin with construct. I’m thinking Norma Desmond here. You see a fun old queen. I see a sad old dude.

      Jul 29, 2014 at 6:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • OzJosh

      All things considered, I’d rather be fat.

      Jul 29, 2014 at 7:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sanfranca1

      He’s laughing all the way to the bank.

      Jul 29, 2014 at 11:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jd2222248

      Has Richard Simmons ever identified as gay? Or did I miss this one?

      Jul 30, 2014 at 2:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tackle

      @LuckyboyLA: Agree with your analysis of Richard.@sanfranca1: Yes. But money doesn’t buy happiness. I say he’s sadly laughing all the way to the bank…

      Jul 31, 2014 at 4:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LuckyboyLA

      @Tackle You know what? He IS! I Goggled his net worth and it’s 15million. But who lives w/him? Does he have a partner? Is he emotionally fulfilled by his foundation and charity work? Those and a Bank balance can’t comfort you at 3AM when you’re all alone. He’s worked tirelessly and where/who’s all that money going to go to? Good causes for sure, Family. But he still has no one I could find evidence of right now today. Just three Dalmatians and two maids all alone in a big Hollywood Hills home. Says he has a lot to offer to a lot of people, but not much to offer to just one.

      Well, ok then, dress up in pretty drag and twirl around your house for the dogs and Instagram. I appreciate all you’ve done for heavy women They love you for it. But looking into your eyes makes me want to reach for my anti-depressant meds and call my therapist. Maybe I just watch too much sci-fi and Horror. But looking in your eyes is scary.

      Jul 31, 2014 at 5:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DarkZephyr

      @LuckyboyLA: I was moved by your touching, seemingly compassionate and empathy filled little essay about Richard Simmons til I got to the last sentence. Then it was like…oh.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 7:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LuckyboyLA

      You have an Occult/Wicca place on your site. Look closely into his eyes again and see how ‘alive’ they look to you in the Liz Taylor and the Black and White long wig Goth, (?) Housekeeper pic. Also, his total facial expression by the motorcycle. Is that the face of a happy fulfilled man? Look at him even in the red dress and beehive hair. You EVER SEEN another guy do flamboyant drag like that and look so down? The phrase,’Laughing on the outside, crying on the inside’, isn’t even the thinnest veil over that poor sad mans visage. He looks like Macbeth after receiving the witches prophecies. Stunned.. Yes, his acts are wonderful. His motives pure. But I’ve thought from the first I saw him his nrg and persona were a cover for a deep/terrible something that hurt him a long time ago. New Orleans can be a terrible kind of place that can do irreparable damage to a sensitive soul like R.S. Something happened to him back there that made a Dead Zone in him. And it stands out in some of those pics. Just like the yearly dead zones the Mississippi creates out in the Gulf. One can’t hide it with a forced smile and bedazzeled tops. Yeah, like…oh, back at’ya.

      Aug 2, 2014 at 8:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • anony54321

      @LuckyboyLA: Oh Lucky you are a sad old queen, ain’tcha? It’s amazing to me that you think you know this for certain. I hope you get it good tonight or give it good, whatever it is you do for your own special brand of super judgmental kink. You doing a public service tonight? You hoping Richard reaches out and says Oh LUCKY, you are SO RIGHT, do let’s marry! I mean, what’s your point? Dismal.

      Nov 23, 2015 at 12:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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