Shunned from her own school’s prom, Constance McMillen will now be the guest of honor at the American Humanist Association’s
star-studded “second chance” event, MC’d by Lance Bass, musical appearances by Green Day, and catering by lesbian Iron Chef Cat Cora in Tupelo, Mississippi. That’s pretty awesome. Here are three ideas to make absolute rock stars. (Updated: See below.)
UPDATE: Turns out that while Green Day, Bass, and Cora are involved in the event, they are merely “sponsoring” it. The Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition tells us there are no confirmed plans any of them will actually be at the event, which AHA is, also, sponsoring but not running. So, uh, a fourth way to make the event the bestest: Get them to go.
Outfit Constance and her girlfriend in killer styles. Bring in a lesbian fashion designer like Project Runway‘s Zulema Griffin to make sure Constance’s tuxedo shows off her curves and her girlfriend’s dress draws gasp as they make an entrance. It’s the special night Constance has spent weeks pulling for, and who better to help her play dress up than a same-sex loving seamstress?
Bring on the paparazzi and the press. Constance’s classmates complained that she was making prom all about her with her silly requests to bring a date of her choosing. So ya know what? Let’s make this one ALL ABOUT HER. We want WireImage and Splash News there snapping photos. We want a deal with People magazine to run the pictures. Maybe even a top corner box on the issue’s cover? Let’s Constance’s all-star prom be impossible to ignore by her schoolmates, even in rural Mississippi. Because Constance is BFFs with Wanda and Ellen and probably Oprah by now, while those kids will have just this to look back on the rest of their lives.
Whisk them away to a private hotel suite. It might be fun hanging out with Lance Bass and the prom band on the dance floor, but once the lights come up, it’s private time. We all know prom carries the arbitrary designation as the night high schoolers lose their V card, and while we aren’t gonna even go there with Constance, she and her girl should get to unwind in private luxury.