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Consumer marketing experts will tell you that itâs the women of the household who buy their male partnerâs underwear. This is why BVD and Fruit of the Loom promote their wares in female-focused ways. But the fashion label Calvin Klein has always been known for its homoerotic underwear advertising, a movement that gained traction with Mark Wahlberg grabbing his junk in a celebrated black-and-white campaign. It could be argued that showcasing Marky Mark in a pair of boxer briefs was, actually, a way to drive female consumers to purchase the underwear for their boyfriends and husbands, because ooooh, heâs so dreamy. But the brandâs latest campaign, featuring Twilightâs Kellan Lutz, True Bloodâs Mehcad Brooks, Japanese soccerâs Hidetoshi Nakata, and Spanish tennis star Fernando Verdasco is arguably the most homoerotic yet. And itâs aim at gay men was made clear with its âYou Want to See My Dick?â clip. And now itâs time to take things one step further.
Fine. You could argue that Kellan and Mehcad were talking to straight women when asking that question. And you could argue that weâre just naive hopeful pervs who always think cute guys are talking to us. But Calvin Klein isnât stupid; they know zooming in on Lycra-clad bulges and asking if we want to take a gander at hot actors and sports starsâ manhood will get The Gays interested.
But CK neednât stop there. Thereâs a way to make this ad campaign the gayest ever. And in return, get us to buy their signature briefs in droves.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Offer personal underwear fitting sessions with these gentlemen. How hard is it to buy menâs underwear? Not very. They come in a handful of sizes and styles, and most of us know whether our waist calls for small or large. But knowing Mr. Lutz is outside our dressing room, ready to examine how well the fabric lifts and enhances? Weâll head to the flagship right now.
Market an exclusive, limited-edition autographed variety. Getting a celebrity to sign your tits has no real value, unless you plan to never bathe again. But getting these gents to sign 500 pairs of white Calvins and sell them off for $500 each? Itâll force us to buy the limited-edition pair (and encase it in glass) as well as a regular tri-pack for actual use.
Put the photo shoot on DVD. Weâve already seen some behind-the scenes shots from the new campaign, and the âYou Want to See My Dick?â video is, arguably, the type of new media extra that CK was wise to release. But we know youâve got the hours-long shoot on video somewhere, and thereâs no reason to keep it for yourself. Slap a $50 price tag on it, and stock it on stores or on the web. Or give it away with the purchase of every new Calvin Klein suit. If it can work for a rugby calendar, it can work for a multimillion dollar brand. And we promise we wonât even pirate the thing and share it on BitTorrent. Well, weâll try.
Sell the underwear Kellan, Mechad, Hidetoshi, and Fernando wore during the shoot. This might be illegal in some states, and weâre pretty sure even eBay frowns on this, but some dudes just go for used underwear. (Other dudes go for soiled underwear, which is a different fetish.) But if you give us a chance to buy the same drawers that encased the packages of these ridiculously handsome men, weâll bite.
Herbo
they are saying “you wanna see my SHIT ?” (hence the need to bleep)
Sean
oh. my god. Yes, yes I do.
hardmannyc
“they are saying “you wanna see my SHIT ?”
That phrase is sooooo wrong in an underwear ad.
terrwill
@hardmannyc: Thats so wrong….. : P
terrwill
@terrwill: damm these internets!……..Thats so wrong … : P Brilliant!
mikeandrewsdantescove
Well in San Francisco, we do things differently regarding Calvin Klein underwear. My friend, Steven got in line to have Antonio Sabato Jr. sign his undergear. He said there were just as many men lined up as woman for a chance to meet this stud.
JJ
Ft. Logan Reed
http://jjadams928.blogspot.com/
JoshP
YES I wanna see you d****… I Love that comerical
Ken S
Re: all those possible marketing offshoots (no pun intended)… LOL. Awful! But also probably true. If I could afford to wear Kellan Lutz’ underwear I just might đ
Adam
They are saying “d*ck”
Its pretty hot.
Antonio
Does not matter to me if ‘shit’ or ‘d*ck’. OMG yes! Show me what you have sexy man!
clarke
It is articles like this one that make me never want to come to this site again . This is piece is so stupid . Come on Queerty , we know you have a penis now shows us you have a brain .
Maxwell
Why yes, yes I do want to see your d*ck.
Sexy Rexy
Lutz is foxy. Let’s see Robert Pattinson beat THAT!!!
JB
Gross. His face is so unfortunate.