5 Things I Want Paul The Psychic Octopus to Predict

He scored 100 percent with his World Cup predictions, correctly guessing eight out of eight of the final games. But what else can Paul The Octopus, who calls a German aquarium home, be used for?

Before he officially retires, I want to see glass blocks put in Paul’s tank that’ll show whether:

• Argentina will legalize same-sex marriage
• The Justice Department will appeal Boston’s DOMA ruling
• Judge Vaughn Walker will strike down Prop 8
• Congress will repeal DADT by Christmas
• Rep. Aaron Schock has ever, even once, played for our team