“Sometimes straight men touch each other,”Jane Ward told Queerty in an exclusive interview, “and they do it for a number of reasons that they don’t perceive as sexual.”
Call it a sign of the times, but more straight guys are comfortable talking about their same-sex experiences than ever.
Below, guys on Whisper reflect on their guy-on-guy pasts:
Grant Mealey
Unless they were forced they weren’t straight…… HELLO ð???
Max Maxwell
It’s the XY sex chromosomes that do it. Men are female hybrids. Women by virtue of their XX are the prototype.
Daniel Salmeron
What is your obsession with straight men Queerty
dean089
Apparently I shouldn’t have paid so much attention to studying and working to pay my tuition when I was in college.
Joe Bump
All these mini stories are all bullshit!!!
James Sigmon
Lol
Steve Tabárez
Who cares?
jayj150
@Max Maxwell: No,that’s not accurate. A fetus doesn’t develop its external sexual organs(male OR female) until about 7 weeks after conception. Until then, the fetus appears to be sexually indifferent, looking neither like a male NOR like a female. You can’t assume that the absence of a visible penis automatically makes the fetus female: a vagina is not visible at this point either. Sexual differentiation happens over the next 5 weeks when the fetus begins to produce hormones that cause its organs to grow into female or male. Regardless of when the sexual organs are visible, the sex is determined at the very moment of conception depending on whether the father’s sperm cell had a Y or an X chromosome.
bottom250
Thank you straight men for the years of pleasure you have given me.
Danny Ray
They should just admit that they are either gay or bisexual and come out of the closet and just accept who they truly are! I know it’s going to take some time for them to do so–but, they’ll be truly happy that they did and live their lives truthfully and honestly as they possibly can!!! (y)
Dave Downunder
What is with this obsession that many gay men (especially the gay men behind this website) have about straight men having gay sex. It really gives them to much power in our own community and sends the message to gay men that they are somehow more appealing and should be revered.
It is seen as such a feather in the cap to many gay men to be able to say you got off with a straight guy. What a negative message that sends about ourselves and our community. Get over it.
Guy068
I miss the days when a straight guy could cross the line and be called trade instead of gay or bi. Insisting they can’t be straight and with such anger and vehemence doesn’t make any sense to me. ‘Sides, I’ve always thought being gay was about where your heart went, not your dick…
Ashfaq Shóhåñ
bisexuality is a thing
Bernard Galeano
U don’t have to be gay or bi to have had sex with a man, it could be curiosity or it could not.
Da? Özdemir
If a man wants to touch another man in a sexual and aroused way and perform homosexual actions such as kissing, sucking, fucking, etc., then he is not straight. So, they are not straight. They might manifest their bisexuality, homosexuality, even their queerties as your name. But, if they are straight after discovering their own homosexuality, then we are all straight, right? If they still define themselves as straight men, then heteronormative power works in favour of them. If they are still straight, then there is no bisexuals in this world. And what a pitty that some of the straight man can secretly share the homosexual experience in secret… and some of the openly homosexual and bisexual men experience pressure and discrimination.
Shortly, this kind of “straight” formulisation seems problematic to me. “Straight gay man”.. no way. For me this is self-deception at least. And most importantly, this is unjust to the ones who had to face with the harshness of gayness and bisexuality.
John Kuehnle
Where do they come up with these stupid articles?
ronniebs
I’ve always said I didn’t buy the fact that women’s sexuality is more fluid than men’s. I think women act on it more & talk about it because there’s less stigma (in North America anyway). I think some of these men are closeted or bi but I’m glad there’s a little less stigma now.
rand503
@Guy068: Totally agree. Whenever Queerty posts any comments about a guy who had gay sex just once, or once even thought about gay sex, everyone piles on and says he is a homosexual through and through, there is no such thing as bisexual, AND that every one of these stories are totally false.
I mean please — are we so insecure as s community that we have to label everyone gay who has just a hand ful of encounters? Or that anyone whose life story doesn’t fit our narrative they MUST be lying?
The world is a very big place and there are lots of people. Everyone is slightly different from one another, and that’s a good thing. Not all straight guys are secretly gay, and not all gay guys are 100% homosexual. Some people actually like to experiment, or play both sides, or you just find one guy that turns you on.
Robert Paige
Wondering did it happen before or after the 6 pack and a joint
Dean Richardson
“For Lack of any Actual Interviewing, Queerty Reposts Images from Whisper”
There, I fixed your headline.
jayj150
@Daniel Salmeron: I think their obsession with promoting the idea that you can be straight and have gay sex is part of their larger obsession with “sexual fluidity”. They are convinced that sexual orientation is changeable and that if you are not on board with this you are somehow close minded. The whole rationale is very weird, and frankly, disturbing, because it validates what homophobes and “conversion therapists” have been saying for years to torment gay folks: that our orientation is changeable, that just because you admit to having sexual desires for your own sex doesn’t mean you can’t lead a “straight, normal life”.
Stache
@Dave Downunder: Look at how guys advertise themselves as “straight acting”. Why not just say masculine. It goes deeper then that since I know allot of effeminate acting straight guys. What they’re really saying is I hate what I am. No other way to interpret it.
jayj150
@rand503: But Queerty is not referring to these people as bisexual, and they themselves don’t use that word to identify themselves, they use STRAIGHT. You criticize gay people for failing to recognize bisexuality in favor of homosexuality but you are doing EXACTLY the same thing, except you do it in favor or heterosexuality. If you have sexual desires for both sexes and willfully engage on sex acts with both sexes acting on those desires, YOU ARE BISEXUAL. Not gay, but definitely NOT STRAIGHT either. Recognize your own hypocrisy before criticizing others’
AJAnders
Queerty, your obsession with straight men has gone way past the point of being mind boggling.
*Studies show straight guys like to cuddle
*Straight guys who do porn
*Straight guys ask gay guys questions about sex
*Straight guys are introduced to Grindr
*Straight guys who like Lady Gaga
*Straight guy fears he repels women
I can just imagine the kind of click worthy content you’ll probably publish in the future…
*Straight guy walks to the supermarket
*Straight guys who love chocolate
*The laundry folding habits of straight guys
*Straight guys reflect on the first time they met a gay
Welcome to Queerty. A wonderful place where you’ll get the largest amount of features on straight guys, their straight confessions and straight fears as they navigate their straight lives in this straighty, straight world.
paulbear30
@Guy068: “Sides, I’ve always thought being gay was about where your heart went, not your dick…”
Um that’s precisely why the “straight” crap is annoying, Einstein. It only encourages the hypersexuality among men. That’s what has been wrong with the gay scene all along – a whole lot of focus on the dick but not much else.
Giandorko86
Anybody else get a chubby reading those?
Mark Lewis
Hmmm, so I’m the *** that gets all the flack and discrimination and have my whole life while these “straight” guys have been boning the whole time. They’re not straight, they’re COWARDS.
Ben Stimpson
What is this fixation Queerty has with straight guys having gay sex, really?
Aromaeus
@Giandorko86: What are you 12?
I hate the people who immediately label someone gay for having a same-sex experience. I could have sex with a woman. I have the necessary parts and I’m sure with the right motivation I could get the job done. I wouldn’t stop being gay though because I have no desire to have a romantic relationship with one.
paulbear30
Funny that you should use the term “right” motivation when in fact only the wrong motivation will bring you to do it. What I hate are “gay” guys who preach that being gay isn’t about gay sex, then turn around and contradict themselves.
Mack
@John Kuehnle: Then why did you waste the time to read it and then comment? If you don’t like this type of articles DON’T READ THEM.
I think some are very viable. More guys experiment in college than any other time. If they tried and didn’t like it, then they’re straight. If they tried and like it but still like girls then they’re “bi”. If they tried it and still wanted more later in life, they might be gay.
Too many stayed “straight” because it was the “right thing to do” when in reality your life SUCKS!
glennmcbride
What about all the gay men that experimented with women?
paulbear30
“If you don’t like this type of articles DON’T READ THEM”.
Probably the same reason you responded to him. Sorry but these articles are as immature as the school kids you refer to. Tbis shit just isn’t that titillating for people who have been there, done that.
gaym50ish
If they continue to fantasize about it, or say they “liked it” or “can’t stop thinking about it,” they are not totally straight.
But then, few of us are. There are some people who are at the extreme ends of Kinsey’s six-point scale from “exclusively heterosexual” to “exclusively homosexual,” but most of us fall somewhere in between.
Isn’t it time to recognize that we’re simply sexual beings and quit using all the other labels? Who is really gay and who’s really straight? And how many times do you have to switch sides to be considered bisexual?
Marcus A. Moutra
And #Queerty post another article about DL men why am I not surprised ð??? who’s running this page needs to be let go.
Brian
You’ve got to remember that “straight” is a choice – it’s a choice to identify as straight.
Just because a man chooses to identify as straight, it doesn’t mean that he can’t be sexual with other men. Men are very sexual creatures – they have a continuous and powerful sexuality throughout virtually their whole lives.
Such men can interact physically with other men, either in the form of male bonding or even more intimate sexual interactions with each other.
That’s why I think the “straight” label is almost totally useless in terms of what really goes on. However, it is often used because it sets boundaries. The word “gay” sets boundaries, too.
Words like “gay” and “straight” were invented so as to set boundaries, and partly out of a need to reassure women.
paulbear30
“Isn’t it time to recognize that we’re simply sexual beings and quit using all the other labels”?
No. Contrary to your belief being “just sexual” is how we have found utility in those labels in the first place. They are a testament to the fact that sex in itself is deeply antagonistic and divisive. If anything it’s time for the lower nature of the female, eros to be conformed to the highest nature of the male, agape. You may think that’s “misogynistic” but I say it’s just being real. The root of all evil is the desire to become impregnated or as those filthy bareback bottoms would say, “bred”. None of this would be an issue ig people would break the cycle and stop feeding mother nature’s bottomless pit of materialism. No we aren’t “just sexual”. We are better.
Merv
@Dave Downunder: I don’t understand the obsession with straight guys, either. For me, heterosexuality is a big turnoff.
Brian
@paulbear30: I agree that sex shouldn’t define who we are. However, sex is a big deal for men. The male sex drive is very powerful. This is why men often identify by their sexuality. It also sets boundaries. Gay-identifying men in particular love sexual boundaries. The gay scene is a sexual boundary.
The most closed-minded people are gay-identifying men as they love strict boundaries.
Craig Lysy
Of course they do. Always remember “If you cannot love the one you want, love the one you are with!”ð??
Brim Stone
What ever floats the boat.
Captain Obvious
“Straight guy”, gay sex. Shut up.
paulbear30
A wild African lion is also a powerful thing. That doesn’t mean it can’t be taken down. I’m not here to justify nature and drives. On the contrary. I say that they are inherently antagonistic to who we really are. No buts about it. Imo, the most close minded and confused are gay people without an interest in philosophy or spirituality. They are in denial of the very principles and forces that actually control them..fighting a battle in the dark essentially. I see nothing wrong with boundaries when I’m on the right side of evolution.
dustashed
If a guy who self identifies as gay but on the off days, has sex with a girl.. does that make him secretly or closeted straight?
I don’t Identify as bisexual in anyway coz I feel gay and I identify as gay.. but there are just days (maybe once or twice in 6 months) that you feel like fucking and eating out a pussy. And there are drunken nights when you feel the same as well. I don’t feel like I wanna Identify as bisexual coz on any given average day, I generally like dudes.
So yeah, If this holds true for me.. I guess I can believe it when they say they are straight. Sometimes it’s the idea of the forbidden fruit that is what gets you off rather than the actual person or act itself
Me2
I take some of these articles with a grain of salt. As this is an entertainment website and they must entertain us in order to keep us coming back. With that being said, sexual fluidity among men is very real. Many men can separate sex and emotions and stick their dick into almost anything without committing to the associated social label. There are a lot of straight identifying men who have sex with gay men and transexuals.
rand503
@jayj150: Oh, I totally agree. I think you missed my point. I AM saying that bisexuality exists and that some people are bi. Some might be 90% straight and 10% or the other way around. I don’t care. What bothers me is that some people still insist that bisexuality doesn’t exist and that it is just gay guys who can’t make up their mind, or refuse to identify as gay. That is just ridiculous.
paulbear30
What’s ridiculous is believing the “2-3%” figure or the very PC Kinsey scale theory. What’s ridiculous is vacillating between seriousness and frivolity on the topic of sexuality’s impact.
Max Maxwell
Men are modified females. A penis evolved from a clitoris, the prostate gland from the uterus, testes from the ovaries. The Bible gives the impression that woman was created from one of Adam’s ribs, but biology has proved this to be erroneous and simply a case of biblical men wanting it to appear that man is superior to woman.
Capitolhillguy
I have done male erotic massage for 33 years, have seen many thousands of men,and only 20% are gay. Practically none have spouses who know. The only guys who don’t want to get jacked off are gay guys. The other guys all want it. The REALLY surprising finding from chatting them all up is that in my crowd, college experimentation is rare. Most don’t have their first same sex experiment until they are middle aged or later!!!! This means, if you do survey of college students who are bi, many would say straight but over time they will become bisexual!!! Most consider themselves curious. Most fall in love with women but like non emotional sex with men for fun. Just my experiment. BTW, ALL of these guys use the term “clean” for being STD free, which I still am. This behavior may be changing with they younger guys.
DCguy
Jane Ward did not produce a study. She didn’t interview any subjects, what she did is look at a gay hookup site, look at the fact that some guys identify as straight in their profile and then wrote about it.
Her entire book is not cited, was not peer reviewed and is basically just a book trying to say that closet cases and bisexuals are actually straight.
Brian
@paulbear30: I’m talking about a different type of boundary. I’m talking about segregation boundaries. I see them all the time in the form of straight men versus gay men. Why do men – especially gay-identifying men – feel the need to segregate themselves from other men?
I would much rather have a scenario where men unite as men in order to reassert manhood over the women who wish to obtain privileges at men’s expense.
Brian
@Capitolhillguy: It’s interesting to hear about your experiences as an erotic masseur. It’s true that many straight-identifying men come to terms with the concept of “fun sex” with other men. It often happens in middle age because, by then, the man has had time to reproduce and prove his virility to his male peers, to his wife, and to society in general. Once he’s done this, he no longer needs to prove anything.
Once he no longer needs to prove anything, he comes to terms with his latent desire for sexual fun with other men. It’s also cheaper than visiting a female prostitute.
Bauhaus
@Capitolhillguy:
Let me guess, Aaron Schock, is/was your best customer.
DCguy
@Capitolhillguy:
Orrrrr, the gay guys don’t need you to jack them off because they are openly gay and can get sex from guys in multiple other ways, while the closet cases need to come to you for a hand job.
Not sure why everybody keeps trying to over-complicate all of this.
Capitolhillguy
@Bauhaus: He’s hot. He’d get the “works”.
Capitolhillguy
It’s always been strange to me, but guys with girlfriends always want to play around. My only people who don’t are gay guys who want to be faithful to their boyfriends. I have seen it over and over.
brionc29
@jayj150: Sexual fluidity and changeability are conceptually distinct.
DCguy
@Capitolhillguy: @Capitolhillguy:
Once again, the gay guys aren’t interested because they get gay sex in their real lives. The closet cases want to mess around because you are the only outlet they get because they are in the closet in their everyday lives.
Once again, this isn’t rocket science.
The Tower of Power
@jayj150: Except sexual fluidity is a real thing. Sexual orientation is not a choice, but there is no question tastes change over time. Most of the lesbians I know dated men for years until they realized they would be more compatible with women. There are men who go into prison and have sex with men in there, and then come out and have no interest in them anymore.
This is not to say we choose our sexual orientation, but that it can change on its own over time.
paulbear30
@Brian: There is no other *kind* of segregation. WHAT is being segregated or integrated is the issue at hand. Furthermore we’ll never agree because you believe that hypersexuality is inherent to the male. I say it’s absolutely not. It’s a remnant of the female desire (of which she isn’t to blame of course) to be impregnated. This fantasy of an all male utopia is impossible so long as you attempt to validate and condone that “powerful drive”. Little do you know, you’re in the passenger seat.
CWM85
How many times does a person have to have sex with same sex to be gay or bi? One thing is for sure queerty sees them as straight. :-/
paulbear30
It’s also apparent that the editors of queerty haven’t dealt with any ACTUAL straight identifying men who veer into m2m sex because these images certainly don’t reflect the objectification that is at the heart of the encounter. There is nothing loving, innocent or affectionate about it.
Capitolhillguy
@paulbear30 you speak the truth buddy. I’ve messed around with thousands of these guys and maybe 5 out of all of those would have wanted to kiss.
Brian
@paulbear30: Sweetheart, Mother Nature invented male-sex-drive-redundancy because it is the man who needs to be aroused in order to release his sperm to the woman. The woman doesn’t need to release anything to the man. All she needs to do is consent, and this can occur whether she is aroused or not.
paulbear30
@Brian: Honeychild, mother nature created woman FIRST. Red herring aside, your entire reasoning is based on a erroneous understanding of the biological order!
BisexualsExist
We all individually identify as we feel as individuals… It’s all different for all different people. #LiveAndLetLive
BisexualsExist
We all individually identify as we feel as individuals. It’s different for different people. #LiveAndLetLive
paulbear30
Meaningless platitude. In regards to sex, identities are collective endeavors, therefore public judgement can be made about alliance, propriety, etc. #DiscussionsAreNotRetrictions#
Sluggo2007
If a straight man has an opportunity to have a man blow him and he’s certain that nobody will find out, he’s gonna do it. End of story.
DCguy
@Sluggo2007:
Doubt it, I know a lot of gay man who have had women offer them the same thing and not go for it.
jd0gg11
My favorite kind of straight men, the ones who will go gay atleast once. 🙂
Stilinski26
What I learned from watching porn especially real homemade ones is that straight men will fuck literally anyone.
Bellamy
The worst part of this whole article is the astoundingly outrageous level of TOTAL IGNORANCE of human psychology from all of the comments. Pure idiots, all.
ErikO
None of these men are straight/hetero.
imperator
@Grant Mealey: So, what, none of the *countless* gay men who tried sex with a woman in their lives without a gun to their heads are really gay, either? Or are you applying a convenient double standard?
hornymouth
I always think it’s funny when people say they “slept” with someone. The code word for fucking. Literally “sleeping” has nothing to do with what they are talking about. So if you don’t have intercourse and just perform oral sex, is that like taking a “nap” with someone?
hornymouth
And yes, there are a lot of men who identify as straight, and who are usually married too, who love having anonymous sex with other men. Mostly they just want to get sucked off. Middle aged men not getting sex from the wife anymore are more than eager to hook up anonymously for sex with other men. No hassles, no relationships, just sex.