A male sex worker from Chicago is setting the record straight when it comes to fooling around with older men.
“As a sex worker, most people assume that the majority of my clients are unattractive,” Clark Rogers writes in an article for Unicorn Booty. “This is untrue: most of my clients are rather handsome actually, they just seek sexual services based on convenience, not desperation. People also assume that most of my clients older men — and yes, they are.”
Related: PHOTOS: Guys Over 50 Are Super Sexy And Here’s The Proof
But Rogers doesn’t mind. He says older gents “have a better understanding of their desires and are able to articulate them clearly.” And, yes, they also tend to be more financially stable, too.
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“It’s no surprise that our sexual culture completely excludes older gay men,” he continues, recalling a recent ageism workshop he attended at a national conference on LGBTQ equality. “One of the men in my group mentioned how gay media often presents young guys as affluent as a way to further glamorize youth. Another noted that images of beauty idols haven’t changed since he was a young man.”
“While the consumers have aged, the models have remained the young,” he writes. “Thus, our very concept of beauty has stagnated, pushing older generations out of the sexual imagination.”
Related: What Older Gays Really Think Of Young Gays (And Vice Versa)
Rogers then points to a 2013 survey that found 63 percent of gay men over 60 were living alone with no partner.
“When we refuse to talk to our elders or allow them into sexualized spaces,” Rogers says, “it only increases their isolation, and our own.”
This, Rogers feels, need to change.
“It is up to us to set aside our highly sexualized culture and create a bridge to our older counterparts,” he writes. “They need us and, if nothing else, communing with them will help lay a framework for when we too become seniors.”
“If we could find a way for senior gay men to share their experiences with our community–histories that are not being shared in a sex-focused culture–we won’t lose the most valuable thing we can get from each other: a stronger sense of our own identity, one that will last for generations.”
Related: An Open Letter To Ageist Gay Men
Ricco Galmore
I always assumed they did.
Raúl Hernández
FACT
Colin McCoy
I have no problem believing the basic premise, but I also think the article is ignoring a lot of factors in the world outside of his profession where there are different factors involved.
Sand Nierenberg
I think it may be true but it’s all in who your attracted too
Michael Martinez
And, judging by this picture, you’re only acceptable as an older man if you’re thin, white, and hairless. Way to sell diversity there.
John Kuehnle
My boyfriend is 12 years older than me.
Johnny D. Moore
I’ve always liked older men …still do
James Szarkowicz
I think it’s great that this story is in here. Ageism is very real in the gay community and “us old guys” are very much left behind way too often. It’s true that it’s all in what you are attracted to, but don’t dismiss us just because we’re not 25. We both might be missing out on something good.
Dennis Keding
So true
Bill Sherman
When I’m in the mood. Now get off my lawn!
Kaleb Thorshov
Assuming that one age is better or worse at being a lover IS agism
Marylou Porter
Older men are more thoughtful, considerate, gentle and wiser. That is because they have lived longer. The young Dudes will catch up. I hope.
Reniel N' Michael
Glen Martin Fitch
You can respect a pack of abs, but it’s a belly you fall in love with.
David Achterhof
I like an older man
Gio Turcios
I think age is an issue but I have also seen way too many of us old gays trying to be and act like kids. Time for gay man to become MAN and stop being kids. And yes I have been guilty of it.
Nicki Cowart
I prefer older men and have found the time I’ve spent with them to be truly special…
Robb Kvaš?ák
Yes, this is an interesting article and it skims one BIG issue: we need each other – older men can profit from being with younger men for their enthusiasm and their vigor – and younger men can profit from being with older men for their life experience – and guess what? studies have shown that in societies where intergenerational cooperation is the norm, all people live better – and the young are lucky because they too can get old – and in those areas, identified by Buettner as the Blue Zones, people live longer and are happier – we need to repair the gap between the generations in our society
Phillip Bernal
DAM SKIPPY! when in my 20 and 30’s I only dated men in their 40’s and 50’s. and yes the LOVE MAKING was Amazing! i am now that guy I used to date and I’m lucky enough to have many young men in my life and the LOVE MAKING is still Amazing!
Anthony Edward Rosener III
Theres nothing like a 50 year old creeper at the club where it is mostly 18-21 year olds. He is usually dressed up in crap he shouldn’t be wearing, passing out free drinks trying to snag a twink for the night. That is what gives the older gays the bad name. Most older gays give up the clubbing and enjoy the better things in life.
Marcus A. Ruiz
Truth, love me my papa bear
Tom Davidson
I find it harder to build really bonding friendships with other gay men as I get older. I would like to be able to share experiences and stories more. Facebook helps.
Eric Johnson
Another thing here, why u gotta be muscular to be considered sexually attractive?
Dennis Crowley
They certainly do and I’m available hehehe
Tony Chaplinski
pay attention you younger ones, you too will be a senior some day, if you[re lucky. Experience counts too you know
William Thomas Bramlett II
So true
Scott Mellon
The article doesn’t even address the question of whether older men make better lovers. It just says things would be better if we all believed that, which is irrelevant.
Stacy Imler
I think we older gays give way to much weight to what the younger guys in the community think. We have our lives, our own dreams, our own community in friendships. We’ve done what they are now doing and now we are doing what we still want to do. I see it as a win win. If they do need us, we are here, if not we have each other. Nothing but love to the youngsters but I really love where I am today.
Brian Johnson-Frazier
That is a very true story. Men over 40… Yum 😛
Ariel Hans Christian
Depends. May be good in bed, but horrible in emotional capacity or the reverse. That’s what I’ve experienced in my “yellow brick road” but I’m still hopeful for future husband to be. And if he’s an older otter by ALL means I’m over the moon for him as long as the other half of a relationship can prosper. Meet me halfway that’s all I ask.
Mack
I can attest to that. I’m older (much older) and very available. Just hit me up.
Mike Muniz
well if they all looked like him!
Scott Ammarell
Yes we do!
Paul Mcgreevy
I no
Pete Sims
As in many other things in life – there is excellence and terrible (and all the descriptions in between) across all ages, cultures and backgrounds.
Darryl Williams
Well said.
Robusta Capp
Yes, they do. I’ve known that since I was 18.
Lazycrockett
Its funny that older gay’s are now making a big stink bout ageism when 30 years ago they were the same ones who “already had a father” when they were the golden youth.
Cody Petersen
My boyfriend is 9 years older then me.
Miguel-Angel Maldonado
The problem many don’t think about is that they aren’t attracted to older guys. Sadly it’s true, I for one like older guys. It’s frustrating to see older guys complaining about young guys not being attracted to them when they aren’t attracted to guys their own age. That’s just how it works and you will find someone who is attracted to you at your age, just find them.
Michael Ver Espiritu Punzalan
I thought the guy in the picture is hot. ð??? I’ve been with my partner for almost 3 years and he’s twice my age. I have always been into older guys, because they are loving and caring and they know what they want.
Tom Linnane
I couldn’t care less what the younger, gym obsessed, chem chewing generation think of men my age. They’ll grow up soon enough. I’ve always preferred men 35+…for all the reasons mentioned above. At 44, and with men round about my age, I’m having the best sex of my life.
Martin Beck
of course it makes sense
Alston Green
Great article !
Alston Green
Ageism exists across all spectrum of our society — Not just LGBTQ
barkomatic
As an older gay guy myself, I completely understand that most young guys aren’t going to be attracted to me. Among my older friends, none of them that expect that either. The only issue I have is the almost complete exclusion of older gay guys from our “culture”. Almost everything features younger men and when an older man happens to be featured, he is almost always portrayed as gross and lecherous and/or someone who shouldn’t be visible at all.
It’s a fact that many young guys may find themselves single again at an older age and community matters more than ever if that happens. You can be welcoming without feeling obligated to sleep with someone–they don’t equal each other.
Robbie Martinez
Love my older men!!
Taskebab
As a younger guy who has had both older as same age lovers I can say that this is a very very VERY untrue story. Older guys have an entitlement about them. If an older guy hits on you and you say no, you’re immediately accused of ageism, arrogance, immaturity, the lot. In bed, older guys expect you to do all the work and they are very cold and rude when everything is over…pack up your things and leave please…
I feel very uncomfortable with the many articles posted here on Queerty that seem to always attack younger guys for the same reasons and basically telling us we’re wrong for not wanting to sleep with older men. It’s like we should worship older gay generations, yet our generation is being put on blast, people calling us shallow and arrogant…
At a certain age people do not as often want to have sex with you. Every generation has to go through that. That does not make you less of a person, it’s just how things go. But telling younger guys they are bad human beings for this is really not right, sex is not a right you have and not an obligation for us. At a certain point, older guys need to start accepting that they’ve age and well…grow up…
Louis Guillemette
Absolutlyâ?¦.agree
Stache
@Anthony Edward Rosener III: What club allows in under 21’s?
Juan Torred
I want a man who knows what he’s doing no boys allowed real man only.
Glücklich
Husband’s twelve years older than I. I initiated and pursued.
Open marriage; my two other main partners are fifteen and eighteen years older than I, one of them is a previous BF who’s been in my life one way or another since I was just a wee twenty-three year old (I’m now thirty-seven), and there, too, I initiated and pursued.
I can admire a pretty face but knowledge and experience are the things that get my motor going.
Glücklich
I should add I don’t know if older men (older than what?) make “better” lovers. As far as I know I haven’t slept with anyone younger than I am, and to my knowledge only maybe three guys close to my own age a long time ago.
David Dewberry
as long as said individuals take care of themselves and their looks.
Stache
@Taskebab:Sounds like an older guy treated you pretty bad to have that much hate. I’ve never met anyone like that. Stop generalizing.
Stache
@Miguel-Angel Maldonado: You have to be able to look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. If you can’t like yourself why should you demand others to be attracted to you.
Me2
Most of the older men in our community come from an era in time when the gay community was actually an inclusive community that transcended age, looks and race. There was a lot of comrodory and an element of mutual respect for everyone, despite how they looked or if you were attracted to them. Adjusting to the new norm of being totally ignored just because you don’t physically resemble what’s considered to be hot is counterproductive to what the community once stood for and fought against. The commercialization of the perfect and forever young ‘fab’ gay man has done to the gay community what ‘Sex and The City’ did to the Manhattan real estate market.
Bill Krauter
those who dismiss the older generation will probably hate themselves for thinking that way… after it’s too late 🙂
Michael James Kelly
awesome
Hall Carlough
But the model in the picture is what like 45?
Sweetie Pie
For a “hump-and-dump”…someone young
For a night filled with meaningful sex, tenderness, and good post-coital conversation then I prefer someone older
Sweetie Pie
@Bill Krauter: Those who dismiss the older generation are the dumb ones who believe they will always be 23
Carlisle Hallsted
Where’s my papi at? ð??ð???
Captain Obvious
This “ageist” garbage is hilarious because most of these older guys don’t want someone their own age they want someone much younger. They themselves are “ageist” and while most have the sense to realize this some pitch a fit when a 23 year old doesn’t want to date a 67 year old man.
Stop.
Not everyone is attracted to older guys and it’s extremely hypocritical to whine about kids not wanting to date older guys if you don’t want to date men your own age either.
God forbid 20 somethings want to date other 20 somethings.
Stache
@Captain Obvious: Yup. That’s the other problem. I’ve heard some say it would be akin to having sex with a women as in how disgusting they find sex with someone their own age.
63% is a shame but I wonder how many choose to be alone rather then date realistically. They have these May/December romance fantasies they’d rather hold out for.
John O'Jones
Untrue. First off, “better lover” is totally subjective.
Luis Trejo
If they got money and are willing to share it kindly and fully, well….
Bryan Smith
That’s true. Except on rare occasion
Rick Vitale
And so much better in the sack
Drue Foster
I love older men… They just don’t love me back haha
MarionPaige
See, I read that there is a rise in single person households period, i.e. that fewer people are getting married. Also,
I personally find it hilarious that a “not classically attractive” 50+ year old man would not be embarrassed to announce that he and his 50+ year old long-time companion have an open relationship. Open to what?
Bring on the ageism, I say. Let these old f-ckers in long term relationships experience what it’s actually like having sex with their lovers.
Ben Gazzara
Eww. You still going after those 20yr olds?
Alex Banx
umm… that title tho? the author apparently doesn’t know what the term “ageism” means. and from a Queerty contributor: shocker.
Stache
@MarionPaige: Open to me hopefully:)
Nelson Valentin
A little bit of everything in our community………..
Josh S
Thanks for publishing this article. I hope it causes a few people to think. It seems like so many younger gay men nowadays know how to be gaaaaay but not how to be adult men. There’s more to life than being young and cool and hip and trendy and all those other things that have little to do with being human. In my 20s I socialized with men of all ages, but now in my 50s its hard to make new friends. Not IMPOSSIBLE, but just hard. There needs to be far more benevolence and warmth and groundedness in the gay community, but I’m not holding my breath. Fortunately, I’m able to entertain myself when no socialization is occurring — I don’t NEED to be around people every waking minute.
jag4313
I’ve always been attracted to older men. When I was in my late teens I was more attracted to men in their 30’s. Now that I am in my early 30’s I find myself more attracted to men in their 50’s and even 60’s. Dating someone my age or younger just weirds me out.
Joincny
At this point in my life, I would never date anyone over 55. Yuck.
DCguy
@Lazycrockett: You stated:Its funny that older gay’s are now making a big stink bout ageism when 30 years ago they were the same ones who “already had a father” when they were the golden youth.
Actually 30 years ago they were probably more concerned with things like watching all of their friends drop dead around them.
avesraggiana
This is the TRUTH. Almost all my silver-fox lovers have been able to last, and go at it – again, and again. And in a few cases, again. Older men lovers are the bomb.
Stenar
I constantly find older men wanting to hook up only with twenty year olds. Why can’t they date someone their own age? 63% of gay men over 60 are alone with no partner? That means they have a LOT of options of guys to date and/or have a relationship with, but they’re probably not interested in men their own age.
RoughCutLumber
I’m 52. I figure if someone rejects me because of my age, it’s their choice. I understand how the world works and don’t feel that anyone owes me anything. Life doesn’t owe me hookups or sexual partners. Other gay guys looking don’t owe me their attraction anymore than I owe them mine. Mating in our species has always been based on meritocracy. I accept the fact that I’m older, have physical disabilities now, don’t have the capacity anymore to be “more financially stable” (not sure what exactly that implies, unless you consider a Social Security Disability check every month to be “more financially stable), I have a spare tire around the middle that because of thyroid disease probably never will go away even if I were to stop eating, and basically I accept that going through advanced age is a new phase of life, for however much life I have left to live. Again, that’s how life works. Not to accept this seems foolish, IMO. The world spins a certain way and we spin with it. Not the other way around.
erfr
Sometimes I wouldn’t mind to be 30 years old but have my 64 years of experiences. And that what all this is about. The young ones (we have all been there) are full of wanting and have sex as much as possiable. But I who is now over 60 years still want all that! But you cannot have it as when you where young. But I hope that the young ones can listen to our tales and what we have done and perhaps learn from us. But I know: you have to learn from your own mistakes. But nevertheless, to meet a young fresh guy and talk with him about Life is so much rewarding – hopefully for both of us.
Doughosier
I KNOW I’m a much better lover than when I was in my 20’s. I didn’t know what I was doing then. What’s the quote? Youth is wasted on the young?
Bo Hamrk
@Johnny D. Moore: When I was in my early 20’s, I was sooo tired of all the posers and twinks that hung out at the neighborhood bar. I so much wanted to experience life knowing what the other “older” guys did. Well, come to find out, they [we] were [are] not perusing Grindr, Scrub nor any of the other apps available now~a~days. (We did not have them back then.) They [we] stayed/stay home with the nest eggs we/they worked so hard to get. And YES!, There is an old saying that “Only a man knows what a man wants.” AND, and older man can give as well as receive! Looks are fleeting BUT, with wisdom and experience cums satisfaction!!!
Aromaeus
I’m 25 and casually seeing a 36 year old man. It’s been some of the best sex of my life because he knows what he likes and he’s not shy about letting me know.
Moritz
I have been with the same man for 36 years now. The fact that he is 16 months older than me was something we both learned to overcome. So, I guess I do find older men attractive, even when they’re young.
Brianbloom1967
I think everyone should eat right, take care of themselves, keep good hygine, like thelves, and stop looking for your better half. God will find you someone in proper time. You will someone when you are not insecure, happy, and active/social. People want people for the whole package: inside, outside, intelligence, humor, chemistry, etc. Its never a put down for someone to say there’s no chemistry. Older men or people are necessarily dismissed because of age its attitude. You have to maintain a good attitude, be positive, and like yourself…