Holy balls, is Christ the safe space for every high-profile guy who gets caught sleeping with dudes? First Ted Haggard returns to the cloth, and now gay American and former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey wants to get all up in god's good graces?

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Think gay men and women who want to marry their partners, but can't, have it bad? What about the straight men and women we've roped into marrying us so we can be "normal" and play house?

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If there are two things former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey definitely is, it's "drama queen" and "publicity whore." The Gay American who left office amid a gay sex scandal, with his wife by his side, has profited nicely from his story of sexual identity secrecy. But when it was all aired out in Outrage, the new doc about anti-gay gay politicos, he stormed out of the premiere.

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In the most magical and improbable wedding since The Sex and the City movie, adorable Oompa-Loompa skinned Florida Governor Charlie Crist is set to marry Carole Rome, a divorced mother of two best known for adding the slogan "Where Fashion Meets Halloween" to her father's costume company. Crist announced his engagement right around the time best-bud John McCain was looking shopping for V.P.'s, but Mac chose Mooseburger over Charlie and now the Governor is stuck having to follow through on the whole "marriage" thing.

When we first heard gay-rights activists planned to protest the Governor's wedding, set for next week in St. Petersburg, we assumed it was a last-ditch effort to save Crist from a terrible mistake, but it turns out that they're protesting the recently-passed Amendment 2, which bans gay marriage in Florida, and which the closet case politician supported. He didn't campaign for the Amendment though, as he was focusing most of his efforts at the time on sending John McCain flowers and cards reading "Together 4-Eva!" on them. Is Charlie worried that his storybook wedding will be ruined by a bunch of angry gays?

Not really. Crist tells the Tampa Tribune that protesters have a First Amendment right to protest and that he has "no jitters" about the wedding.

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"The ex-wife of former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey says she has decided to drop a fraud claim in which she alleged the gay man duped her into marriage to advance his political career. Dina Matos issued a statement Wednesday saying she needs to end the case for the good of their 6-year-old daughter, Jacqueline." Ha! Because Dina was really thinking of that poor, undoubtedly traumatized child when she was parading herself around for the media. Regardless, this is the best news we've heard all day: a national nightmare's over – and for real this time. [AP]

We foolishly thought that the McGreeveys would go away after finalizing their divorce last month. We were wrong.

Former New Jersey first lady Dina Matos' lawyer announced today that his client will drop "sexual fraud" charges against her gay ex-husband – for a price, of course…

A lawyer for former Gov. James McGreevey’s ex-wife said Thursday she will drop a charge that she was duped into marrying him if he agrees to pay her $109,000 a judge says he owes.

Dina Matos’ lawyer John Post said the fraud claim filed by his client will be dropped if McGreevey makes full payment and agrees not to appeal the judge’s divorce ruling.

That drew an immediate rebuke from McGreevey lawyer Steve Haller, who said, “we will appeal or not appeal at our own discretion.”

A private meeting with the judge in the case is scheduled for Monday.

We can hardly wait.

Finally! A New Jersey judge today ended the drama-filled marriage of Jim McGreevey and Dina Matos. The couple, of course, gained national prominence when McGreevey came out as a "gay American." It was down hill from there.

In today's ruling, Judge Karen Cassidy ordered McGreevey to pay his ex-wife $108, 000, half of his savings, and awarded Dina no alimony. The former Missus expected Jim to keep her in a First Lady-like lifestyle. Cassidy was not impressed by her sense of "entitlement." Nor was she impressed with the couple overall, writing in her opinion, "The McGreeveys clearly had agendas. As previously addressed, their anger seemed to override any ability to testify credibly or to be reasonable." She went on to describe Mr. McGreevey's conduct and testimony as contradictory.

Jim and Dina have wracked up $498,000 and $525,468.66 in legal bills, respectively, while Cassidy concluded neither party was ultimately "successful." Despite all this, Cassidy agreed to let the couple share undisclosed custody of their daughter, who will no doubt wrack up shrink bills in the near future.

Here's the ruling and opinion, if you can stomach them.

Dina Matos-McGreevey played the victim in court yesterday. The former NJ first lady, who's divorcing homo hubby Jim, testified that she spent her $30,000 life savings on her wedding, which her politically hungry husband stacked with political and civic leaders, even though she wanted a small, intimate gathering. Then, as if that's not enough, she had to replace his cabinets that "had food from like 1992." Good god – she had it worse than the slaves! Meanwhile, the trial continues today and is expected to last until the end of time, at least. [NYDN]

Does former New Jersey first lady Dina Matos-McGreevey, whose husband Jim retired after coming out as a "gay American," really understand the ludicrous nature of her alimony argument? "Matos McGreevey wants child support for the couple's 6-year-old daughter and alimony, including compensation for the 13 months she missed out on the lifestyle perks of the governor's office. Earlier, her accountant testified that the gubernatorial lifestyle of the former first couple is worth $51,000 a month." It's almost as if she expected such a "lifestyle" when they married. And, yes, we're calling her an opportunistic gold digger. [Philly]

Former New Jersey governor and known homosexual Jim McGreevey returns to the witness stand today to testify in his ongoing divorce trial. While that's all well-and-good, we're waiting for admitted threesome partner Teddy Pedersen's testimony. That's when things will get juicy. [Newsday]

Big news! Gay disgrace Jim McGreevey's dog had puppies! A lot of them! And, yes, we agree with Alex Pareene's prediction: "…Dina Matos will sell them all to a puppy fur-obsessed heiress and use the money to buy more helicopters." Meanwhile, the former New Jersey governor, who claims to be broke, has been living in luxury: "In his third day of testimony in his divorce trial, McGreevey told a state judge that his boyfriend bought the mansion for $1.4 million in 2006 and that it has four fireplaces and an in-ground pool on nearly two acres in Plainfield." [Gawker and Phil. Inquirer]

Former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey turned down a radio gig because of "bad timing," which pissed off soon-to-be ex-wife Dina, who wants more money from Jim, who left office after coming out. [Yahoo!]

Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey and soon-to-be ex-wife Dina Matos-McGreevey return to court this week and will hear testimony from Sharyn Maggio, an accountant who says it will take $11,000 for the couple to continue living as they did while in the Governor's mission. That, of course, is Matos-McGreevey's wish, which helps explain why she has asked the allegedly impoverished and definitely gay Jim for more alimony. [Newsday]

Dina McGreevey alleges that nearly ex-husband Jim McGreevey committed fraud because he didn't tell her he likes men. It's for that reason that she's requesting more alimony in their divorce trial. Family law lawyer Gary Port, however, says nay: “Punishment for bad behavior is not a factor [in alimony rulings.]" Time to pen another book, Dina! [The Street

Jim McGreevey drew a few guffaws yesterday after the former New Jersey Governor alleged that he's too poor to pay his soon-to-be ex-wife Dina alimony. And, of course, New York Post cartoonist Sean Delonas used the occasion to poke fun at the Episcopal priest hopeful. At least McGreevey's in bed with a human.

On a related note, McGreevey's apparently always been cheap. He had Dina pay for their wedding and a large portion of their honeymoon.

Poor Jim McGreevey. Or so he says.

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Testimony begins today in the divorce trial of Jim and Dina McGreevey. The trouble began, of course, when former New Jersey Governor Jim came out, thus stoking Dina's wrath. She alleges that her soon-to-be ex-hubby committed fraud by entering into a straight marriage. He claims, of course, that she knew he liked boys, because the couple had a number of encounters with McGreevey's male driver. Expect loads of finger pointing and salacious testimony over the next few days. [MSNBC]

"Delighted." is just one adjective Jim McGreevey's lawyers used yesterday when discussing the custody settlement McGreevey reached with his almost ex-wife, Dina Matos-McGreevey. The former first couple of New Jersey have been duking it out all week over their five-year old daughter, Jacqueline.

Despite the fact that these two people can't stand one another, they somehow managed to reach an agreement, although both sides remain mum on the details:

The deal regarding their 6-year-old daughter came on the third day of negotiations, which included some closed-door testimony before the judge who is attempting to avoid a divorce trial.

"She'll get a large amount of time to spend with her parents," McGreevey said of his daughter as he left the courthouse escorted by two uniformed sheriff's officers.

Moments later, lawyers for both McGreevey and his wife stood together before television cameras and reporters, saying they could not disclose terms of the custody agreement because it was confidential.

"It was an amicable settlement," said John N. Post, who represents Dina Matos McGreevey.

You know what won't be confidential? All the hearings on gay Jim McGreevey and wife Dina's alleged threesomes with the former Governor's driver, Teddy Pedersen. That shit's going to be way public – and we're way happy to hear it.

Drama continues next Monday.

The drama Gods must be laughing today, because Dina and Jim "Gay American" McGreevey have not reached a truce in their ongoing divorce spectacle. That means they'll go to trial to hammer out custody of their daughter, among many other things. [NY Post]

We know you're not going to believe this, but rumor has it that Jim and Dina McGreevey are close to reaching an agreement on how they will share custody of their 5-year old daughter, Jacqueline. Don't worry, though, that's just "phase one" of New Jersey's former first couple's divorce drama: we still have Dina's fraud suit against Mr. McGreevey, who she accuses of fraud for being "secretly" gay during their marriage. He cites a threesome as contradictory evidence: she knew he liked dick, but just didn't care. [NY Post]

Hallelujah! Today marks day one of the McGreeveys' divorce proceedings.

The majority of the action will revolve around whether or not former NJ Governor Jim McGreevey committed fraud by hiding his homosexuality from wife, Dina. Dina says "yes," but Jimmy Boy reminds her of their mutual trysts with a campaign driver. At stake: the duo's definitely doomed daughter, Jacqueline.

As you can see, cartoonist Sean Delonas offered an imagined ending to this drama. Sadly, we fear the McGreeveys won't stop until poor Jacqueline's nothing but tabloid pulp.

Get excited, readers! The McGreevey divorce trial begins this week and we can be sure to hear all sorts of salacious, nauseating details of how the former NJ Governor and his Missus got down in the bedroom.

Dina Matos-McGreevey alleges that hubby Jim duped her into marriage by lying about being a bit bent. Jim McGreevey's lawyer, Stephen Haller, has already leaked how they'll be contesting Dina's allegations. And it ain't pretty:

Plaintiff [Mr. McGreevey] will testify at trial that he needed to have a disrobed male present in the room with them when the parties had sexual relations in order to maintain an erection.
…
This tends to prove that plaintiff was at least bisexual, a fact which should have been obvious to defendant prior to the marriage.

Will the day come when we're not fascinated by disgraced politicians' penises? Probably not. Or, at least, we hope not!

McGreevey divorce proceedings begin on May 6, but the drama's already started.

Dina Matos-McGreevey and her lawyers are fighting former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey over "salacious" testimony from Teddy Pedersen, Mr. McGreevey's campaign driver who claims he and the McGreeveys had a number of threesomes.

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Neil Patrick Harris ain't a fan of tricky "stunt casting," but the handsome homo has a thing for magic tricks. The NY Times' "A Night Out With…" column follows Harris and friends to Los Angeles' Magic Castle, where Harris proclaims another love: Scooby-Doo. Ain't that adorable!?

The actor also wants to make sure the world knows he's not a hooker-buying coke tooter.

…Harris was trying to distance himself from the character he plays in the “Harold & Kumar” movies — even though he plays himself.
…
To distinguish between Mr. Harris’s authentic and fictional selves, [friend Lori] Medlin pointed out that in real life Mr. Harris has never snorted cocaine off a woman’s behind. “Not this year!” chimed Mr. Harris and Ms. Baeling, in unison. Ba-dum-bum!

She was referring to one of Mr. Harris’s scenes in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, a 2004 dark comedy. In the sequel, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantánamo Bay, Mr. Harris brands a prostitute with his name while hallucinating on magic mushrooms.

We actually kind of wish NPH were like that. We homos need more bat shit crazy celebrities on our team. And, no, we don't count Jim McGreevey.

[Image By Jonathan Alcorn]

NY Post 'toonist Sean Delonas has garnered gay ire for his unflattering portrayal of a super-sized Rosie O'Donnell and a sheep-loving Jim McGreevey, so we're surprising his take on pregnant trans man Thomas Beatie actually isn't offensive.

Old dogs can learn new tricks!

Jim McGreevey's a winner! For the time being, at least.

Document sealing Judge Karen Cassidy ruled in the former NJ Governor's favor yesterday, dismissing Dina Matos-McGreevey's claims of emotional distress:

The judge dismissed Dina Matos McGreevey's claim of emotional distress against her estranged gay husband.

"Mr. McGreevey was not out to destroy her emotionally," Superior Court Judge Karen Cassidy said.

Cassidy said she would permit the fraud claim to continue for now, but warned, "That does not guarantee the defendant will be successful in trying her claim."

Though Mr. McGreevey didn't comment – for once! – the disgraced politico's lawyers welcome the news, saying Mrs. Matos-McGreevey should "read between the lines" with regard to the fraud claims.

Cassidy also discussed the couple's forthcoming divorce trial, which starts on May 6th, and warned the world that we're going to start hearing some pretty wild tales. More wild than all that threesome talk: "We all know what happened this week. What evidence will likely be heard in this case, this week was just the tip of the iceberg." Great! Bring it. We love the McGreevey drama more than our own mother! (Just kidding, mom!)

Homo-journo James Kirchick certainly doesn't mince words when it comes to former New Jersey governor, Jim McGreevey.

Who could forget when McGreevey stood before the press and announced his homosexuality and resignation in the same breath? Kirchick sure as shit remembers, and he'd like to remind readers of a simple fact: McGreevey's main offense is corruption, not cock sucking.

…Jim McGreevey was forced to resign for no other reason than that he was a corrupt politician. He’s more Mark Foley than Harvey Milk. That he was sleeping with a male aide is incidental to his downfall.

By conflating his political demise and his struggle to cope with homosexuality, McGreevey inadvertently hurt the cause of gay civil rights as much as any crusading, socially conservative political activist could have hoped to do. He fed the stereotype that gays are untrustworthy and self-absorbed, and that homosexuality is a personal weakness.

Yes, yes, that's all true, but, come on, you have to love McGreevey: not even the queeniest soap opera writer couldn't concoct a villain so perfectly ridiculous, revolting and wacky.

Remember when McGreevey announced his plans to become an Episcopal priest? That was some prime time shit!

Jim and Dina McGreevey's threesome scandal garnered plenty of gab this week. And now their divorce judge, Judge Karen Cassidy has taken steps to put an end to the tabloid sensation:

[Cassidy] issued an order to seal all filings, transcripts and future hearings related to the "custody and parenting time" of 6-year-old Jacqueline McGreevey. The judge even sealed the document spelling out her reasoning behind the ruling but said it was with consent of the parties.

Never fear, though, there's no gag order, so we can be sure to get all sorts of tidbits straight from the McGreevey's mouths.

And the saga continues! For those of you not keeping up – and who can blame you? – Teddy Pedersen dropped jaws yesterday when he told the press that he used to canoodle with former NJ Gov. Jim McGreevey and then-girlfriend, Dina Matos-McGreevey.

The allegations punched a big hole in Dina's story – she had no inkling of Jim's gay ways. Sensing her advantage slipping – and the press light turning – Dina issued a statement denying Pedersen's carnal claims, which in turn spurred Jim to release his own confirmatory statement, which then sparked yet another assertion from Pedersen:

Dina is still in denial. It’s time for her to face the truth. If Dina wants to take a lie detector test with me, I will sit down with her any time, any place. The only reason that I spoke to the media is because she dragged me into her divorce.

I’m not gaining anything from this. This has been the hardest time in my life. It’s not something I ever wanted to discuss with my family or anyone.
…
If she has nothing to hide why am I being subpoenaed?

Oooo, girl, that's a challenge. How long until Dina cames back out for more press? Place your bets!

Dina and Jim McGreevey are seriously the perfect couple.

First Dina accused her estranged hubby of planting Teddy Pedersen's ménage à trois allegations for "attention". Not to be outdone, former NJ governor Jim's issued a statement backing Pedersen up, pardon the pun:

In an e-mail to The Associated Press, the nation's first openly gay governor said published reports by former campaign aide Teddy Pedersen were true.
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In his statement, McGreevey said he and his estranged wife need to move forward for the sake of their 6-year-old daughter.

"This happened, this happened in the past, and now we need to move on with our lives," McGreevey, 50, said without being specific.

Ah, now our imaginations can run wild! And it's frightening!

PS: Pedersen's girlfriend must be so proud!