So Christian pastors held their hate speech rally yesterday, where they tried to prove the recent passage of the Matthew Shepard Act would violate their religious freedoms. They failed.

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Cuteypie Pat Robertson, host of The 700 Club and respected conspiracy theorist, is no longer just a religious zealot, but a liar. In his latest campaign to convince conservative Christians that LGBTs will be the death of America, he pushes forth this blatant lie: There are no federal hate crime protections for religious beliefs.

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The Church of Scientology regularly lies — and then lies about its lies — so it's perfectly understandable if you want to call a preemptive "BULLSHIT" on its latest claim: We're not anti-gay!

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Did you know that you actually don't want to get married? You just want to destroy American values! All that fighting — in Maine and Washington this month, in California and Connecticut and and Massachusetts before — is just because you're out of work and have so much time on your hands to dedicate to bringing down Christian America.

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Does the Catholic League ever have anything wholesome to say? It must. After all, religious people are supposed to be good people. But then CL's chief Bill Donohue hit up The 700 Club with Pat Robertson (they're gay for each other) and covered everything from gay adoption to why the Catholic Church's molestation problem is a gay problem. Oh, you say he's got a new book to promote?

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Know what's harmful for struggling families in Connecticut? Learning which places of worship might be welcoming to the gays!

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sUsually we hear one of two things from straight religious zealots: They want to save our souls, or that we don't deserve the love of our savior. Both, quite frankly, are suggestions we want none of. But thanks to a new study, here's something you can throw back in their face: We love God too!

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Listening to Pat Robertson talk about the role of gays in America sounds like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad speaking about, well, gays in America: They're the reason we're in such despair!

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Pat Robertson should be the last person giving advice on parenting. The man preaches hate; that's not healthy for families, nor in line with real family values. But still, Christian parents turn to this man to tell them how to interact with their kids, as they did on yesterday's The 700 Club. On his tip sheet for parents dealing with a gay son? Tell the boy the Bible says he's an abomination, but you'll love him any way.

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Television comedian Pat Robertson's new punchline: Legalizing same-sex marriage is akin to legalizing polygamy, bestiality, child molestation, and pedophilia! Only Rush Limbaugh has better delivery than this guy.

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The religious right has long insisted homosexuality is a choice, not a biological matter, which is why society should be less, uh, forgiving to gays and lesbians who "choose" to mash together same-sex genitalia. Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, James Dobson, and Tony Perkins practically live to make — and created successful careers from — this argument. It's also how these folks get away with arguing gays can be "cured" of their disease through reparative therapy. Because God can only love them after a few weeks of intensive treatment in a quack program! But Robertson, et al. aren't crazy types. We know this because they've got science behind them! Yes, religious folks sometimes do turn to science, but only when it's convenient. Only problem? The science that helped them back up this "choice" theory is flawed, full of holes, and almost impossible to believe. Is it all one big giant lie?

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Last week, the deadline passed for amicus curiae briefs, or so called "friend of the court" filings, for the upcoming California Supreme Court hearing on Prop. 8. Hundreds of groups sent in their petitions to the court, both for and against the measure, which outlawed same-sex marriage in the state. They range from 120-page treatises on prior case law to bizarre ramblings from the lunatic fringe, but they represent the last major hurdle before the Court begins its hearings, which may be as soon as early March.

Our favorites, both for and against, are below.

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Dan Mathews isn't your typical activist.

This fun loving rabble-rouser regularly humiliates himself for his cause, gets arrested and finds himself under fire from flying beef. No, he isn't a gay activist – well, he is gay and an activist, but Mr. Mathews spends much of his rabble-rousing energies fighting for furry friends. Yes, that's right, Mathews works for PETA.

Say what you will about the vegetable loving organization, but you can't deny that they're effective, making headlines and grabbing ink left, right and center.

The model turned activists' memoir, Committed, just came out in paperback, so our meat loving editor took some time to pick Mathews' brain on the evolution of his work, what makes his organization so effective, how to use "impure" allies and what gay organizations can learn from PETA's sensational ways.

Read all about it, after the jump.

[Image by Todd Oldham]

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There's more trouble brewing for the Democratic National Committee. Rumor has it the DNC's gay treasurer, Andrew Tobias, has been revising a bit of homo-related history. Our sources tell us that Tobias recently sent a message to gay Democratic donors claiming that Chairman Howard Dean did not know he was being interview for the 700 Club back in 2006.

Dean misspoke during that interview and claimed the Democrats believed marriage to be between one man and one woman. Tobias has allegedly been telling supporters that Dean thought he was being interviewed for ABC Family, not the Christian Broadcasting Network's long-running news show. He's apparently been tossing this story around for some time, for a May 11, 2006 email to gay Democrats reads,

Howard was NOT a guest on the 700 Club. He agreed to an interview with the CBN/ABC Family channel. Our feeling is that we can't ignore the millions of people who watch CBN/ABC Family Channel programs just because Pat Robertson happens to be on for 30 minutes a day and grabs news content from the network.

CBN reporter David Brody confirmed this weekend, however, that Dean was well aware of the journalist's outlet: "When I interviewed Gov. Dean in 2006 he and his staff knew it was for the 700 Club. That was made very clear.”

Tobias reportedly defended himself this weekend by saying he had been "misinformed" by a DNC staffer.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed an anti-discrimination bill into law earlier this year. That law says it's unlawful for school's to discriminate against and exclude gays from higher education. The move sparked conservative outcry of gay infiltration and a larger plot of "force fed" homosexuality.

Robertson concurs, saying it's a recruitment effort. Trust us, Robertson, we're not going to try to recruit you and your brethren, so just take a breather and relax.

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Arianna Huffington's new comedy website, 23/6 launched on a decidedly lavender note today. First came an uproarious imagined instant message between Rudy Giuliani and new pal Pat Robertson.

And then they unveiled the Richard Curtis-inspired Great American Beard-Off, a who's who of more-than-just trophy wives. The 23/6 staffers don't have a picture of Mrs. Curtis, but they place her beard rating at "Osama Bin Laden" because she knew what she allegedly knew about Curtis' unsavory sexual habits.

Oh, Dina McGreevey got a shout-out, too. And, as hard as it is to believe, she comes out looking good.

Pundits have been pondering what will become of Pat Robertson now that he's endorsed abortion-allowing, gay loving Rudy Giuliani.

They got at least part of answer today after anti-abortion activist and Operation Rescue founder Randall Terry took aim at Robertson – among others.

Note his clever take on NYC's current mayor, Michael Bloomberg.

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Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson came out for Rudy Giuliani today. Speaking at the National Press Club, religious righter Robertson said Giuliani's the best Republican candidate. Washington Post's Chris Cillizza gets down with the nitty-gritty:

Robertson's support was coveted by several of the leading Republican candidates and provides Giuliani with a major boost as the former New York City mayor seeks to convince social conservatives that, despite his positions supporting abortion rights and marriage for gay couples, he is an acceptable choice as the GOP nominee.
…
"I thought it was important for me to make it clear that Rudy Giuliani is more than acceptable to people of faith," said Robertson. "Given the fractured nature of the process, I thought it was time to solidify around one candidate."

He insisted that while some on the "fringe" of the social conservative movement may see Giuliani as an unacceptable nominee, the "core know better."

Mitt Romney's campaign staffers just shat themselves.

The Ex-Gays are at it again. We just ran into Truth Wins Out's Wayne Besen – welcome back to NYC, Wayne! – and he told us that Pat Robertson and his cronies will release a new "study" on the benefits of religion-based conversion.

Though it's too early to know just how flawed the study will be, Besen's skeptical:

It comes as no shock that anti-gay ‘researchers’ at Wheaton College and Pat Robertson University would release a study that claims you can pray away the gay. I suppose their next study will provide support for Pat Robertson’s theory that homosexuality causes meteors and hurricanes.
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This study may be a deceptive sham with the goal of making it appear as if science backs fundamentalist beliefs on homosexuality.

Any ‘ex-gay’ study that does not include physical components that measure truth are essentially meaningless.

"Essentially meaningless"? Ha!

Ed. note: Today's installment of America's Queer Liberty picks up where yesterday's left off…

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America's plurality voting system limits voter's options. With one man and one vote, the man or woman with the most votes wins an election, regardless of whether they receive a majority. In such an environment, voters tend to vote tactically. That is, they lean heavily in one direction or the other. There's no middle ground.

The religious right's well aware of this democratic flaw. Taking advantage of changing political tides, these "value voters" used tactical voting to elevate the GOP to heavenly heights – with hellish results.

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26-year old Terry Mangum better get a good lawyer. Or maybe it would be easier for him to just plead good old fashioned insanity.

The Houston man admits to killing 46-year old Kenneth Cummings, a gay man: "I did it. Bottom line is I stabbed him the head with a knife." Why would Magnum do such a horrible thing? God told him to, of course.

In a jailhouse interview, Mangum claims God sent him on a divine mission to "carry out a code of retribution" and eliminate Cumming's "sexual perversion". Talk about perverse. So, does Magnum feel any remorse? Hell no: "I believe with all my heart that I was doing the right thing. I planned on sending him to hell."

Excuse us while we vomit.

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Alright, you guys know the drill: It's Friday, which means we take some time to comment on your comments on our comments from the past five days. In other words, it's Queerty ReBUTTal time. Yay!!

Let's get to it…

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Charlene Cothran's been making new friends since disavowing her lesbianism and turning her fag-rag, Venus, into an ex-gay mouthpiece.

The controversial publisher just appeared on Pat Robertson's The 700 Club to spread her good, no-longer-gay word. In addition to explaining her celibate lifestyle, Cothrene explains how she's still involved in the gay rights movement. Instead of furthering gay visibility, acceptance and legal rights, however, Cothrene's trying to convert the queers:

My mission now is to educate and turn people away from the homosexual lifestyle simply by presenting the truth. We simple want to have people to question what they've learned through the pages of Venus over the last thirteen years.

We would love to ignore the first thirteen years of your career, Cothrene, but we've got this pesky thing called a conscience. It really gets in the way of selling out our queer comrades. Good thing "God" took yours when he "saved" you…

Watch the nauseating video, after the jump. Oh, and be sure to read Good As You's dissection of the despicable Cothrene.

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• We know you guys love Junior Boys, so here's the new, official video for their track, "In The Morning". Because, you know, we love you…

• Michelle Rodriguez is not gay. But her girlfriend Kristanna Loken is…

• Mitt Romney and Pat Robertson sitting in a tree C-O-M-M-E-N-C-I-N-G.

• Tony Perkins is a fraud (duh).

• Thank God Jay-Z's black. Otherwise he'd be dead.

• Gay sauna in Australia to get schooled?

We get a sick thrill watching homophobes getting raked over the coals, so you can be sure we're loving the fact that Pat Robertson's in court after using bodybuilder Phillip Busch's image to sell his protein shake.

Busch first ordered the allegedly age-defying bevvie – which Robertson peddles on his Christian Broadcasting Network – a few year ago and had tremendous results. To prove it, he sent Robertson some before and after pictures of himself, which Robertson promptly used as proof of his concoction's potency. Busch, however, insists he never gave Robertson permission to profit from his pictures and now the two men are battling it out in court. Pensacola News Journal reports:

Busch says he didn’t know when he contacted CBN that Robertson recently had licensed his shake for commercial distribution by a nationwide health-food chain. He sued Robertson in September 2005, alleging that the broadcaster used his image for a commercial purpose without compensating him.

The case is set for trial in April. Robertson’s spokesmen have accused Busch of extortion, and Busch has posted disparaging comments about Robertson on his personal Web site.

As if that's not bad enough, Busch claims Robertson threatened to kill him and his family. Not surprisingly, Robertson insists he said no such thing.

This wouldn't be the first time Robertson's been accused of threatening another's life: former Christian Broadcasting Network executive Mark Peterson says Robertson passed a veiled threat along through his sister:

Pam, you give your brother this message from me…Wild horses that kick and destroy things without a bit in their mouth have to be put down. They have to be shot. You tell him that.

Hmmm, that could be a threat or it could just be a statement of fact. Although, we're pretty sure it's a threat.

Sure, we love Mark Foley and we love GLAAD, but we really love art. We're particularly fond of art that takes the piss out of homo-hater fuck wads who distort religion for their own pursuit of evil.

That said, we definitely love what's happening over at Garrett County Press. The small company based out of Phillie "asked 56 international artists to "color in" The Pat Robertson & Friends Coloring Book," as they say.

The results? Incredible! In fact, we meant to post this bit of fun earlier, but we got so wrapped up in the site that we lost track of time. Sorry, we've robbed you of precious time to fawn over the submissions.

The one pictured comes from Aaron Nather in Cali. You can't really tell, but it appears to be Robertson playing tonsil hockey with a demon snake. They're in love. How can we tell? There's a burning hell heart around them. There's also some sort of creepy eye at the bottom. We don't know why, but we love it.

Follow this here link to check out a close up and 55 more.