It's Over

A Look At Rick Perry’s Now-Dead Presidential Campaign, One Blunder At A Time

Ding-dong, Rick Perry‘s dead—as far as the 2012 presidential election is concerned anyway.

“I have come to the conclusion that this is no viable path forward for me in this 2012 campaign,” said Rick Perry. “Therefore I am suspending my campaign and endorsing Newt Gingrich for president of the United States.”

Perry made the announcement at a press conference today at 11am in South Carolina, just hours before GOP candidates gather for another debate (the 16th so far!).

We kinda wish he’d waited till tomorrow: we always enjoy watching Rick gasp and flounder at those debates.

Rick’s been good to us—and by us we mean bloggers, reporters and journalists. So many blunders, head-scratchers and bigoted statements to write about. Here’s some that come to mind:

*Remember when Perry said he didn’t know what Lawrence v. Perry was, even though he was governor of Texas, where the case originated.

*Or when that LGBT activist in Texas said he had proof Perry slept with at least two guys?

*We still wax nostalgic about Andrew Breitbart resigning from GOProud—and Jimmy LaSalvia stepping down as the group’s director—after LaSalvia called  gay political strategist Tony Fabrizio a “faggot” for working for Perry?

*Did you forget the time Perry signed NOM’s “marriage pledge”—the one that says a candidate would push for a federal same-sex-marriage ban, nominate strict Constitutionalist judges, defend DOMA and investigate the “harassment” of traditional marriage advocates. We didn’t.

*We also didn’t forget that in the late 1990s, Perry invested nearly $8,000 in a porn-distribution company with titles such as Big Tit Brotha Lovers 6, and Bisexual Barebacking Vol. 1.

*Then there was the time he tried to deep-throat a corn dog. Oh Rick!

*And who could forget when he went all Brokeback-meets-L.L. Bean in that ad saying  any America where gays and lesbians could serve in the military but kids couldn’t pray in the middle of Biology is no country he wants a part of?

*It all really began with Perry launching his candidacy with that monstrously big prayer event at the Houston headquarters of American Family Association. AFA’s Don Wildmon, anti-abortion activists Randy and Kelsey Bohlender and a fleet of bats out of the Religious Right’s crowded belfry were invited guests.

And now that he’s out of the running, Perry has endorsed Gingrich. One last dumb move to go out on, huh Rick?

Stay classy!

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