Chart-topping chanteuse Adele had her heart broken by a boyfriend who left her for her gay best friend, according to a new unauthorized biography.
According to Adele: The Biography by Marc Shapiro, it was on the “Rolling in the Deep” singer’s 18th birthday that the whole messy affair blew up. “Adele had professed her love and he did the same; she had known he was bisexual but, in the rush of romance, felt they could make it work,” writes Shapiro. “Four hours after laying their emotional cards on the table, the boy ran off with one of Adele’s gay friends.”
Four hours? That’s hardly enough time for your nails to dry, let alone get your heart broken. And it’s not like Adele got the short end of the deal: The non-affair supposedly inspired two songs on 19, “Hometown Glory” and “Daydreamer,” and fueled her songwriting for Grammy smash 21.
That’s a lot more than Kelly Osbourne, another big girl burned by a bisexual beau, got.
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hamoboy
Queerty puts as biphobic a spin on an article as possible. Video at 11.
Shannon1981
I hate the idea of perpetuating biphobia. I don’t think we should be saying that it is because the guy was bi. It was because h e fell in love with someone else who happened to be a man and not a woman. Would it have been worse if he had left her for another woman? After all, that was just as big a possibility.
Though I will say that, as a lesbian who has been left by men by bisexual girls before, it is a special kind of pain. Furthermore, all 3 of them alluded to it being “too hard” to be in a same sex union in such a homophobic world. One wanted kids, a husband, to be a house wife and all of that. So..I digress.
However, the few bisexual people who do these things do not the bisexual community make. This article screams, “ATTENTION GAYS AND LESBIANS! DO NOT DATE BISEXUALS! LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO ADELE!” That is not/i> the message a blog that claims to be for the entire queer community should be sending.
Shannon1981
I hate the idea of perpetuating biphobia. I don’t think we should be saying that it is because the guy was bi. It was because h e fell in love with someone else who happened to be a man and not a woman. Would it have been worse if he had left her for another woman? After all, that was just as big a possibility.
Though I will say that, as a lesbian who has been left for men by bisexual girls before, it is a special kind of pain. Furthermore, all 3 of them alluded to it being “too hard” to be in a same sex union in such a homophobic world. One wanted kids, a husband, to be a house wife and all of that. So..I digress.
However, the few bisexual people who do these things do not the bisexual community make. This article screams, “ATTENTION GAYS AND LESBIANS! DO NOT DATE BISEXUALS! LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO ADELE!” That is not/i> the message a blog that claims to be for the entire queer community should be sending.
Shannon1981
oops, double post while trying to correct. Sorry.
ChrisC
‘Hometown Glory’? Huh? That songs about London and Adele’s homesickness…
ChrisC
PS: I’m not trusting this biography. The fact that she got dumped by a bisexual man has been online for years, I remember reading about it months ago. It’s hardly an exclusive. Not to mention, all the news sources said that it was ’19’ that the guy inspired, not ’21’.
Making up stuff is fun!
Biphobia isn’t a thing.
Colin
Wow. I guess her “gay best friend” turned out to be her gay best bitch. As if gay men don’t already do a great job of making themselves look like totally immoral sluts. Hope Adele realizes we aren’t all like that.
Dating a bisexual person is always a risk. They often just aren’t very stable or complete people.
Shannon1981
@Colin: Colin, I have to say I disagree that they aren’t stable or complete. That is a trait that is representative of the person and their mental/emotional stability, as well as maturity, rather than their sexual orientation.
Of course it is a risk, because part of them is attracted to something you will never be. However, that doesn’t mean that no bisexual person can love one person of either gender completely.
Furthermore, I also think that instability might be two things:
1)Both gay people and straight people have attached a great stigma to bisexual people. They are viewed as untrustworthy,etc. We also trivialize their sexual orientation, often even going so far as to say it does not exist. They fit in neither world on a practical social level, though, according to our acronym, they are one of us. Often we do not treat them like they are one of us, though.
2) The bisexuals who do perpetuate stereotypes. This often leaves bisexuals who don’t do that in a position to risk losing their communities and their lovers if they say they are bi rather than gay or straight. So, instead, they become invisible as bisexuals when coupled. Some don’t even tell their partners they are bisexual. That having to hide who you really are can do a real number, as anyone posting here knows all too well.
I know I would rather date a lesbian. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t. I will never be a man, and I cannot ignore the fact that being with a bisexual woman means that she is attracted to something I will never be. But that doesn’t mean that every single bisexual woman will leave me for a man, and nor does it mean that I might not be missing out on something great by not dating a bisexual woman simply because she is bisexual.
Lefty
It’s certainly no revelation – Adele spoke openly about it in interviews when the album came out in 2008.
the other Greg
I’m guessing the gay best friend was not a little skinny guy? 🙂
biguy
Great post Shannon
Jay
Typical biphobia by queerty, not surprising.
smithsmith30
Take a number, Adele!
bisexual_gal
Biphobia in the article and in the coments. One person even had the temerity and gaul to say we are unstable and untrustworthy lovers.
Screw you biphobic bitch. You are just jealous.
Here let me take a moment to throw some bile back at you:
You gay twit, you are incomplete. You are damaged goods. Only bisexuals are sexualy mature and complete. You queers and straights are so psychosexualy damaged that you can not even love half the human race. If you can not love and make love with a man as exstaticly as you can a woman or vice versa, you have a damaged soul that needs healing.
There, thats what we bisexuals think about you queers and straights in our hearts and never say to your face because it would piss you off and make you cry.
So I tell you what….you keep your ugly biphobia under check and don’t air it publicly and I won’t air my ugly hetero/homophobia publicly.
Sound fair?
Colin
@bisexual_gal: You only prove my point about you people. Get help.
hamoboy
@Colin: Colin, I think the reason why you don’t know any “stable” bisexuals is because dignity is an important component of stability, and any self-respecting bisexual wouldn’t want any part of you biphobic mess.
@Shannon1981: Thank you Shannon for you awesome posts. I realize it’s good to encourage posters we agree with instead of just bitching at posters we disagree with.
hamoboy
@bisexual_gal: That was an incredibly unhelpful post that did nothing to decrease the level of biphobia, or educate biphobic people about what bisexuals really are. Please don’t try to speak for all bisexuals. I myself have no problem with homosexuals or heterosexuals unless they start shit with me, and even then, I’m angry at the individual, not the group.
Jeff
Well, I know people will disagree, but I think many bisexuals are VERY confused. The majority of them will eventually choose to stick with either being gay or straight at some point once they’ve had their fun and are ready to settle down, and IMO, I’d rather just be with someone who’s completely gay from the beginning.
Colin
@hamoboy: LOL. If you don’t see how you contradicted yourself in this very post in your responses to me and Shannon, then I feel sorry for you.
hamoboy
@Jeff: Someone who is in a long-term, practically permanent relationship with someone of the same/opposite gender does not mean that they have “stopped” being bisexual. It just means they’ve founds someone they want to settle down and be monogamous for. Bisexuality is an orientation not a behaviour. Why is it that gay people, who get so much shit from straight people, still don’t get this about bisexuals?
hamoboy
@Colin: Please oh wise Homosexual Guru, please school me in the ways of your homologic. For it is mysterious and impenetrable for one such as I.
Making up stuff is fun!
@bisexual_gal: You sound like an awful human being.
MikeSF
Jeff I wonder when the homosexist members of the LGBT movement will finally acknowledge that bisexuals and bisexuality exist, that our sexuality is as legitimate as theirs, and that the civil and human rights gains that have been made for LGBT people would not have been made without the involvement, commitment, hard work and sacrifice of bisexuals. Then again what else can we expect from a lot of Gay and Lesbian Inc. including yourself? Gay men and lesbians like you who are biphobic are no better than Rick Santorum, the Bachmanns, and Rev. Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist church.
anoutherday
I see that the biphobics and I am very tempted to engage in some back lash rhetoric.
I am one of those bisexuals that supposedly was really gay because I ended in a gay LTR.
I am not gay just because I am with a same sex partner. I look at women and it still makes me excited. If I was not with the love of my life I just might ended up with a woman. But I am with the love of my life and I have no desire to stray and hurt my love. It is really simple, I am in love, I do not wish to risk that love, so I do not cheat. Just like you folks who are gay are capable of not fucking every one that turns you on, so are bisexuals.
Bisexual is not a phase. Gays claiming they went through a bisexual phase is what propagates the meme. If gay folks would be brave out the gate and not go through the false bisexual phase just to make it easier on themselves then us bisexuals wouldn’t have to deal with that crap.
The gay men who pose as bisexual at first are where you keep geting that false idea that bisexuals are not real.
Perhaps gay men are so anti bisexual because they do not like the idea of competeing with women for the affections of a potential lover.
Making up stuff is fun!
@MikeSF: One thing’s for sure: If the ones on this board are any indication, bisexuals sure are huge drama queens.
Chance
@Jeff: Jeff, did you never consider that bisexual people don’t
“choose to stick with either being gay or straight at some point once they’ve had their fun and are ready to settle down,” but maybe the just meet the one person who they love enough to forsake all others for, whatever sex that person might be? I mean, yeah, I’m gay, so I know I’m going to settle down with a man, but I would think when a bi person chooses to settle down, it’s because they’ve met someone they love enough to settle down WITH. I cannot understand how someone would have the mindset of “okay, I like guys and I like women, but I’m ready to settle down, so I better choose one or the other now!” Perhaps some bi people prefer one over the other, so that’s what they’re actively searching for, but it ultimately comes down to who you fall in love with. As for your opinion on being with someone who is gay from the beginning as you say…I would rather not limit myself. If someone is attracted to me and I’m attracted to them and it has the potential to be a great relationship, I’m not going to pass up a great opportunity just because I know he might be attracted to women as well as guys.
Colin
@hamoboy: My “logic” states that bisexuals should really just date other bisexuals who understand them and are willing to put up with them. Gays/lesbians and straight people should definitely avoid bi people like the plague.
My two cents. Sorry.
anoutherday
@Colin: Bisexuals are a plague!?!?!
*!@#$&$^#%$@
May you never get laid ever again you pathetic worm. A curse on you.
Nelson
Making stuff up: Homosexual nellie queens such as yourself are the ultimate drama queens.
Colin
@anoutherday: Dear, Midol is not that expensive. Invest in some, along with a bottle of gin, and go take a nap somewhere.
Making up stuff is fun!
@anoutherday: Yeah. Like I said. Drama queens.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Nelson: That’s quite a homophobic statement you just wrote. If I were an over-the-top drama queen like you, I’d be whining and crying about homophobia (which, unlike “biphobia”, is a real thing.)
Colin
@Making up stuff is fun!: LOL.
hamoboy
@Colin: Your logic is pretty reductive and stupid. It sounds like a different form of the old “Gay men shouldn’t be scout leaders because they are attracted to males and so it’s just less drama for everyone if the scout leaders are straight. Sorry. My two cents.” argument. If you cannot see through the haze of your “gay enlightenment” to see how bigoted your position is, well I wish you a good life far away from bisexuals like me.
Making up stuff is fun!
@hamoboy:
“I wish you a good life far away from bisexuals like me…
…Until two years from, when I’ll come out as gay.”
cray-cray
Well, Actually I hate “gays for pay” more than Bisexual men…at least Bi can love a gay man, but hustlers/gigolos have sex with men only for money because the feel disgusted with anal sex…sad but true
hamoboy
@Making up stuff is fun!: Dan Savage is that YOU? Honey, at your age, things don’t get better, they just get worse.
Colin
@hamoboy: I don’t see how it’s bigoted, really. It just doesn’t seem like you’re capable of seeing this issue from a gay perspective.
hamoboy
@Colin:”It just doesn’t seem like you’re capable of seeing this issue from a gay perspective.”
Trololol. You are the benighted one here dear. It’s funny, but the stereotype of “Bi now, gay later” is actually one fostered by all the chickenshit gay people who need to jump on the bisexual bandwagon first instead of coming out of the closet completely. These people are the ones who give REAL bisexuals a bad rep.
It’s pretty simple how a non-bigoted homosexual person should see a bisexual:Someone with a dating pool approximately twice as large as their own, and who will have attractions that they won’t be the target of. The question is simple: Are they committed to being monogamous/monogamish to you? Have you worked out some honest fair arrangement? If the answer to either question is “YES”, then a relationship just like one with an exclusively gay guy/girl is possible. If the answer to the questions are two “no”s, then you’ve got a fucked up relationship on your hands, don’t go blaming all bisexual people for this.
Making up stuff is fun!
@hamoboy: Figures bisexuals would hate older people: By the time they hit 30, most “bisexuals” have discovered they’re just garden variety gays.
Making up stuff is fun!
@hamoboy: “Someone would a dating pool twice as large as their own.”
You might want to check your math, Einstein.
hamoboy
@Making up stuff is fun!: Oh Dan Savage, you so crazy! By the time they hit 30, most bisexuals give up calling themselves that because of queens like you. If you think there’s nothing wrong with that, you are proof that privilege and bigotry can be found in any group, no matter how oppressed.
hamoboy
@Making up stuff is fun!: Dan Savage, you might want to check why your copy/paste function changes “with” to “would”. Females= ~50%, Males = ~50%. Someone attracted to both *roughly* doubles their “possibilities”, although this really doesn’t mean much for anyone actually interested in a meaningful relationship. You know what those are don’t you Dan Savage?
Brandon
Cray-Cray you’re an idiot. “Gay” for pay is a myth and those guys are bisexual or even gay and just marketed as “straight” because of homophobic and biphobic queens who need to pretend that they’ve actually had sex with a straight man and need this fantasy. I’m gay and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with anyone men or women being bisexual.
Making up stuff is fun!
@hamoboy: Straight men and lesbian women are not in bisexuals’ dating pool.
I swear to God, they make them dumber every day.
Mark
There are a whole shit load of latent bisexuals masquerading around as gay men and lesbians because they are ignorant of the fact that bisexual doesn’t only mean an equal attraction to both genders, that you don’t have to fall in love or want relationships with both genders, or they’re too scared to admit it because they’ve invested so much of their time and energy cultivating a gay or lesbian identity.
There are some gay men like making stuff, Colin, craycray, and others here who are highly bigoted towards bisexual men and women. Just like there are some lesbians who dislike bisexual women and trans women. These factors are also reasons why men and women who are bisexual yet call themselves gay or lesbian do not want to come out.
The dirty little secret that never gets addressed in the so called “gay” world is the fact that many gay men do go through a second coming out and re-identify as bisexual. These men may still overwhelmingly prefer men, but their orientation and identity are not exclusively towards men. And how their attraction to both sexes manifests differently as well.
It’s always weird to be corrected by someone (e.g., making stuff up and others here) who is wrong in their knowledge of a subject. I’ve found that if you dare to even allude to someone not being not quite “gay” (in other words bisexual) then you get the typical apoplectic reaction–oh no, no, no, he’s gay, he’s definitely gay, absolutely, no question about it, and on and on and on. So many gay men are so fucking bi-phobic it’s unreal–and it’s usually because they don’t understand the concept in the first place and they’ve made no attempt to do so.
I do have to say this though. A good number of men who say they are gay aren’t fully gay. They only say they are gay because they want a relationship with a guy. But a good number of them if they can’t find a guy when they are horny will just have sex with a woman and are actually sexually attracted to women so they’re bisexual.
hamoboy
@Making up stuff is fun!: They ARE if a bisexual is Female. I swear to Dan Savage you’re getting early onset Dementia. Thanks for letting me realize though that a bisexual’s dating pool is MORE than double a homosexual’s just because of how rare same sex attraction is in the general population. Thanks.
Jack
I’m a gay man and I’ve been out for decades and I’m ashamed and embarrassed at how bigoted some of my fellow gay men are when it comes to bisexuals and bisexuality. Who are you to tell someone that they’re not bisexual or that an entire sexuality and community of people does not exist? How would you know since you’re homosexual and not bisexual?
To all of the men here who claim that there’s no such thing as bisexuality, that bisexual men are always really gay men, or that bisexual men should be avoided:
You’re no better than Conservative Republicans, how some Christians (the born again type and Westboro Baptist church) are, and you’re bigoted just like these people are towards us gay/bisexual/queer men.
It’s 2012 and you’re fellow queer men. One would hope that you’re not a tiresome old queen who talks out of his ass about something she knows nothing about when it comes to bisexuality.
Try studying human sexuality sometime guys instead of just cruising for d!ck online. Study some Kinsey-Anything between (zero-straight) and 6-gay is bisexual. Or look at the Klein Grid of human sexuality. Or look at the book “Dual Attraction” by Martin S. Weinberg, Colin J. Williams, and Douglas W. Pryor.
There’s nothing wrong with being bisexual. To the bisexual men reading this ignore the haters replying to this blog. Not all gay men are bigoted like a few of them are here. Many of us gay men love bisexual men and I’ve met many gay men who are more into bisexual men and only have lasting long term relationships and date them.
There are some guys here who think that they’ve had sex with actual “straight” guys. Dream on, it’s just a fantasy and if a guy is really hetero or straight and you’re not in prison with him for the rest of your lives as his prison b!tch or doing something forced or non-consensual with him for sex you’re never going to have sex with a real straight guy.
I’ve had relationships with lots of bisexual men and they were just fine. I have had lots of gay men flat out cheat on me and lie to me which is something bisexual men have never done but I’d never tell a bisexual or gay man “Oh don’t date gay men! They will probably lie to you and just cheat on you!”
For the guys who claim that bisexual married men cheat that’s pure BS. I know tons of GAY men who constantly have affairs on their husbands and partners, and their partner does not know about it. Sometimes these men even have an open relationship where they claim that they only “play together” and of course one of them goes off and cheats since having sex with others while only with his partner is not enough for him. Other times the partner assumes that they’re both monogamous and the cheating by his gay male partner goes on right under his nose and has been going on for years or even decades.
The way the bigot Jeff says that someone who is bisexual should lie to their partner and claim to be gay, hetero, or lesbian is laughable. I feel bad for anyone who attempts a relationship with this fool.
Making up stuff is fun!
@hamoboy: “I swear to Dan Savage.”
So you think Dan Savage is God now? Looks like you might be getting a bit of dementia yourself.
Colin
@hamoboy: Logically, of course, this makes sense. But the truth is that I and many other gays simply don’t want to be with someone who has an attraction to the opposite sex. It’s like you are saying we should just be comfortable with you being attracted to something we can’t compete with and can’t understand. This is what I mean when I say that you don’t understand the gay perspective.
Colin
@Jack: OK, so you obviously have a problem with gay men and are taking it out on gay men who prefer to be with other gay men, rather than being open to both gay and bisexual men. Everyone has their preferences.
hamoboy
@Making up stuff is fun!: I had ‘insert diety here’ but the comment filter chewed it up thinking it was a html tag. If you truly have nothing original to say Dan Savage, please STFU.
hamoboy
@Colin: “we should just be comfortable with you being attracted to something we can’t compete with and can’t understand.”
If you were in a real exclusive relationship, there’s no need to compete, that’s just insecurity and paranoia. If you’re not in a real exclusive relationship, well WTF are you getting jealous about?
“This is what I mean when I say that you don’t understand the gay perspective.”
Homo please, you might get away with that when you’re debating with some hyper-religious homophobe, but don’t try that shit on me. I understand the gay perspective as well as anyone else that likes cock/vagina when they already have the same. Please try to understand that your position is bigoted. Judging an entire class of people based on “what might happen” is bigotry pure and simple.
R.A.
@anoutherday:
“Gays claiming they went through a bisexual phase is what propagates the meme.”
No.
The fact that EVERY gay man is fully capable of marrying and impregnating a woman is “what propagates this meme.”
It’s no different from the FACT that prior to their realization that they were women, many m2f transwomen were married to women and fathered children.
Enough of the “phase” phobia already. For Chaz Bono, lesbianism was a “phase.” We all are on a journey – hopefully of self-discovery, and you won’t know the phases from the destination until you are dead.
SteveUK
I agree Anoutherday, gay men who claim that they’re “bisexual” when they’re really actually gay and in denial are closeted are responsible for biphobia. I’m gay and I never claimed to be something that I’m not since I’m gay and I am not bisexual. There’s nothing wrong with being bisexual even if the bigoted fags here want to claim that there is.
Peter
RA-Why are you claiming that somehow EVERY gay man is somehow fully capable of marrying and impregnating a woman? That’s not true at all. Myself and all other gay/homosexual men have never had any sexual arousal at all towards women and as a teenager I did hope that women would turn me on but it’s never happened. I have never had nor attempted to have sex with a woman since the only thing that would happen would be cuddling since I wouldn’t be getting an erection at all.
hamoboy
@Peter: It’s because R.A is really Marcus Bachmann is disguise.
Mr. Z
@hamoboy: You’d get an erection. I’m about 110% gay, and women touching my junk gets me hard. It’s just the way the male body is designed.
Mr. Z
@Peter: And the reply above was, of course, meant for you.
R.A.
@Peter:
OK, I’ll change that to MOST. You are lucky to be born in a time when masquerades are unnecessary. Previous generations have gone to great lengths – all the way to the bedroom – to stay in the closet. If you had to be attracted to someone to screw them, there wouldn’t be any hustlers.
vixlad
@Jeff: Agreed.
hamoboy
@R.A.: In previous generations (I’m talking centuries ago, not decades), (straight) men were lucky to get a wife all (marriages were almost never made for love, they were economic arrangements) and could stay bachelors their whole lives without raising suspicion. There weren’t even words for “straight” and “gay”. “Sodomy” was considered a behaviour, not a way of life or fundamental component of a person. It’s not until the modern era that gay campaigning won them the recognition as an orientation in their own right. Why are they then reluctant to turn around and realize the same is true of bisexuality. It’s not just a behaviour, it’s an orientation. Sure everyone pays lip service to that at LGBT meetings, but spend any significant time around most L or G people, and their biphobia comes out.
Carlos
>>>spend any significant time around most L or G people, and their biphobia comes out.<<<
Agreed! I'm gay and I've noticed how a lot of gay men and lesbians are highly biphobic. As others have posted in this topic claiming that bisexuals are confused, that they're really straight/gay, or all the other BS gay men and lesbians claim about them it's nothing but bigotry and biphobia and these G and L people are NOT for LGBT equality, sexual freedom, and should just vote for Mitt Romney or join the Westboro church.
Peter
MrZ I’ve had women touch me, some even grabbed my crotch, tried to seduce me, and they would dance close to me and I don’t get an erection at all. I did kiss women who I dated when I was a teenager but I remember wondering why I was not getting aroused by them or why I was not turned on by girls/women at all like my male friends were. The women I dated or attempted to date when I was younger we never had sex at all or attempted it.
RA-I’m over 50.
R.A.
@hamoboy:
“spend any significant time around most L or G people, and their biphobia comes out.”
Of course.
When you tell us that any man who managed at some point to have occasional sex with a woman, hated it, and strongly calls himself gay is in fact a bisexual in denial and responsible for biphobia, you are doing EXACTLY what you claim gays are doing – devaluing OUR life experiences, denying OUR right to self-identify, and reducing being gay to being a phase in the life of a bisexual.
It’s political bullshit.
ChrisSF
blah blah blah nothing new to see here just the typical biphobia from queerty and the gay and lesbian trolls going on here showing how they’re bigots and hate bisexuals.
R.A.
@ChrisSF:
Remarks like that give gay people every reason to despise you.
hamoboy
@R.A.: “When you tell us that any man who managed at some point to have occasional sex with a woman, hated it, and strongly calls himself gay is in fact a bisexual in denial and responsible for biphobia”
Lolwut? Where The Fuck have I said that? Please tell me. Your ravings are getting more delusional with every passing comment. I think it’s good. Gay people with lingering distrust or doubts about bisexuals can read your comments and think “Do I want to be this guy?”. Thank you for helping me fight against biphobia, even if inadvertently.
You need to educate yourself about 101-level concepts of sexuality, it’s behaviours, expressions and even identities before you come and spew more of that garbage on this thread. Nowhere did I say that having sex with a woman makes a gay man bi. That’s just stupid.
You’re so bigoted you can’t even see it. That’s fine. Rome wasn’t built in a day. But seriously, thank you for raving like such a lunatic. You make most of the other commenters here seem perfectly sane in contrast.
Geri
??????
Err – heard about her bisexual boyfriend yonks ago – BUT I didn’t get the impression that he dumped her, rather that it was she who split from him because she couldn’t cope with him being bi and uninclined to be monogamous:
“My debut album is about being between 18 and 19; about love,” she continues. “‘Daydreamer’ is about this boy I was in love with, like proper in love with. He was bi and I couldn’t deal with that. All the things I wanted from my boyfriend, he was never going to be. I get really jealous anyway, so I couldn’t fight with girls and boys. It’s quite a sad album, [with songs about] being cheated on and not getting what you want”.
http://www.adele.tv/biography/
So, she wanted him to be something “he was never going to be.” Is that his fault?
Whatever, she did get some great songs out of the experience.
Dave
Wow, shocking news, someone got dumped, and by a bisexual no less. This should be on the front page of the NY Times.
Shannon1981
@hamoboy: wouldn’t be queerty without the bitching LOL. Thanks, babe. I like to try to make people see real problems within our community, like biphobia, without making them defensive, because once they are defensive, they stop listening.
@biguy: Thanks.
Daez
@Colin: Wow, I thought you could not sink lower, but I was wrong. For starters, I have no desire or obligation to adhere to your moral code just as you have no right to judge others that do not adhere to your moral code.
Also, there are plenty of well adjusted bi-sexual men and women that are perfectly stable in relationships. The problem is not that the people in question in this article were bisexual it was simply that the relationships did not work out for them and they ended them poorly.
Daez
@hamoboy: Nah, all she did was make me laugh, and I’m sure that pretty much anyone reading that probably laughed as well. I do not for a moment believe she actually believes that, but she totally presented a nice check to what was being espoused.
Daez
@<a href="#com@hamoboy: Actually. It is simply not that simple. Women are already a dominate group by around 55%. Also, you have to rule out all straight people as potential dating subjects if you are gay/lesbian.
Daez
@Peter: I really hate to say this…because I have heard it all the time, but if you never tried it how do you know you would not be able to pull it off. Not that you would be into it, but men are very physical in nature and feeling physical feelings tends to make the equipment work.
Not that I am advocating gay men marrying women and fathering children with them necessarily, but it was a very different time and that is simply what you did no matter what your sexuality was in most cases. If you really wanted a family you had absolutely no choice. We have come very far in the last 40 years and even farther in the last 20 years.
Daez
@hamoboy: Exactly what times are you talking about? Ancient Rome? Seriously, since the introduction of Christianity (some 1700 years ago) to Ancient Rome there has been a condemnation of sodomy in all of the advancing world. You used to be put to death or given long jail sentences for sodomy in all of Europe and the territories controlled by Europe (which included most of the known world since it was all populated and controlled by England).
Shannon1981
@Dave: The idea that she got dumped because her boyfriend is bisexual is the issue.
Would it be the same news topping story if a straight guy had left a famous person for another woman? Maybe. We tend to like to know every detail of the lives of the glamorous. However, there would be no heterophobic undertone as there is with the biphobia here, both in the article and in the comments.
Shannon1981
@Carlos: When I dated bisexual women, each time,lesbians in lesbian bars deemed me a traitor, and, so long as I was dating said women, they would not hang out with me. Shameful, but true. We are LGBT for a reason. Guess what the B stands for? BISEXUAL.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Shannon1981: “We are LGBT for a reason.”
Yes: To give confused gays time to realize they’re just kidding themselves.
hamoboy
@Daez: I did not say sodomy was not punished. All I said was that it was considered a behaviour, not a “way of life”. No doubt a “sinful” behaviour, and one that was punished severely, but it was still considered more something you DID rather than something you WERE. Attitudes have since shifted, whereby now most “straight” men are unwilling to experiment sexually to see where along the Kinsey scale they belong, because they think sucking a dick automatically makes them gay, without passing “GO”, and without collecting $200. This is a big reason why lots of 1’s and 2’s prefer to act like 0’s. It’s just easier thanks to everyone’s (both straight and gay) attitudes.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Making up stuff is fun!: Now I understand why you’re hanging on to this myth of bisexuality. It’s so that you can fantasize about straight guys sucking dick if only they’re honest with themselves.
See, behind every myth there’s always some kind of wishful thinking.
hamoboy
@Colin: “we should just be comfortable with you being attracted to something we can’t compete with and can’t understand.”
If you were in a real exclusive relationship, there’s no need to compete, that’s just insecurity and paranoia. If you’re not in a real exclusive relationship, well WTF are you getting jealous about?
Shannon1981
@Making up stuff is fun!: No. We are LGBT because bisexual people and transgender people are not gay, but they face similar discrimination to that of gays.
Your “bisexuality does not exist” opinion has been debunked ad nauseum. Grow up and realize that not everyone is just gay or straight, male or female. There are a myriad of identities that are non gender binary, non orientation binary, whether you like it or not, and, furthermore, those identities are discriminated against just like lesbians and gays are.
hamoboy
@Making up stuff is fun!: Oh Mr Savage, your entire advice column was based on wishful thinking and unicorn farts. MOST guys will of course be straight, total 0 on the Kinsey scale. There are others that are 1’s and 2’s. These guys will prefer relationships with women, and societal homophobia will making going in that direction the easier, more preferred path. But that doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about it.
P.S: Why do I have to defend myself from things I didn’t say? Is it because most of the biphobic commenters are dumb?
Shannon1981
@Colin: “We should just be comfortable with something we can’t compete with and can’t understand.”
Ok, after my experiences, I’ll give you that. No, I am not comfortable with a bisexual gf expressing interest in men when we are together. Even in open relationships, I request that she not sleep with men. Pregnancy,and other reasons, too, but mostly because I am afraid she’ll like sleeping with him more than she will like sleeping with me.
However, I also realize that this is my hang up, not hers. She can’t help her sexual orientation, but my feelings about bi women and their attraction to men is something I learned due to experience, not something that is inborn. I am woman enough to admit that it is a bit of a prejudice. Are you man enough to admit yourprejudice?
Making up stuff is fun!
@Shannon1981: OK, I get it, you took intro to gender studies in college.
Shannon1981
@Making up stuff is fun!: I’ve taken lots of queer studies and women’s studies classes. I am a lesbian, genderqueer, and a feminist. Would you expect anything else?
Scribe37
@bisexual_gal: Good for you! I will never understand why gay men must question or look down on people with the bi-sexual label. I have been with the same man for 19 years (stable enough?), but before him I was in a relationship with a very good woman. Together me and the woman enjoyed other men and ladies. That period of my life was really really, Fun. Lol. When I got with my current partner he was unwilling to share me and I loved him enough not go outside our relationship because he didn’t want me to. I don’t tell people I am bi-sexual because people either think you are lying or a slut. Yes I am more attracted to men, but strong women dominate women can really get me going.
brad
Bisexuality doesn’t exist. It’s just confused men who are too afraid to come out as gay; it’s women who will “go gay” to look sexy or different.
Scribe37
@brad: Yes brad you are the ruler of the world able to judge and understand what every other person feels. Just because you are not bi does not mean that others aren’t. Hey maybe you are not gay, just Confused and afraid to touch a woman.
Brandon
Making stuff up is fun-Quit talking out of your ass, biphobia is real and yes it’s just as bad if not worse than homophobia.
Brandon
WHAT DOES BIPHOBIA LOOK LIKE?
* Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual.
* Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified “that way” before you came to your “real” lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.
* Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the so called different gender/sex.
* Believing bisexual men spread AIDS/HIV to heterosexuals.
* Thinking bisexual people haven’t made up their minds.
* Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.
* Assuming bisexuals would be willing to “pass” as anything other than bisexual.
* Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.
* Automatically assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay, or a man and a woman are heterosexual.
* Expecting bisexual people to get services, information, and education from heterosexual service agencies for their “heterosexual side” (sic) and then go to gay and/or lesbian service agencies for their “homosexual side” (sic).
* Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too.
* Believing that bisexual women spread AIDS/HIV to lesbians.
* Using the terms “phase” or “stage” or “confused” or “fence-sitter” or “bisexual” or “AC/DC” or “switch-hitter” as slurs or in an accusatory way.
* Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with so called different sex/gender partners.
* Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of their sexuality rather than seeing them as a whole, complete person.
* Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be in an different gender/sex coupling to reap the social benefits of a so-called “heterosexual” pairing [sic].
* Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.
* Assuming bisexual means “available.”
* Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.
* Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friend about their lover or whom they are dating only when that person is the “same” sex/gender.
* Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.
* Feeling that you can’t trust a bisexual because they aren’t really gay or lesbian, or aren’t really heterosexual.
* Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the “same” sex/gender.
* Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (i.e. HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, fighting the Right, military, same-sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of so called “lesbian and/or gay” issues.
* Avoid mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Scribe37: Oh, get off it, Scribe. You’re nothing but a BINO (a bisexual in name only): 19 years in a monogamous relationship with a man, and you still won’t admit you’re just a regular old fag?
ChrisSF
RA-I’m a gay man. Quit being such a bigoted fool.
Brandon
Another type of biphobia is when a person that’s gay or lesbian refuses to date or have a relationship with someone who is bisexual.
I’m gay and I don’t understand all of the hate by gay men and lesbians towards bisexuals.
I don’t want to be around hypocritical bigots like this.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Brandon: “WHAT DOES BIPHOBIA LOOK LIKE?”
Like Sasquatch, the Fountain of Youth, and the lost city of Atlantis.
Brandon
Making stuff up-If by your bigoted logic biphobia doesn’t exist then homophobia and transphobia must not exist.
R.A.
@Making up stuff is fun!:
Clearly you can’t read or comprehend my posts if you can call me “a bigoted fool.”
The gay gene for taste and intelligence obviously skipped you.
Making up stuff is fun!
@R.A.: I think that was meant for ChrisSF.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Brandon: Since homosexuals and transsexuals are real, it follows that homophobia and transphobia are real too.
ChrisSF
Bisexuals are also real making stuff up, and bisexuality is just as real of a sexual orientation as being gay or hetero is. Why don’t you and RA go do something constructive making stuff up and join the Westboro Baptist church, campaign and vote for Romney, donate money to Rick Santorum, or go visit your friend Marcus Bachmann.
Making up stuff is fun!
@ChrisSF: You forgot to compare me to Hitler.
Geri
@Making up stuff is fun!: We’re obviously not supposed to take any comments seriously from someone who is posting here using the nick “Making up stuff is fun!” now are we ? 🙂
Silly name = silly comments.
Making up stuff is fun! is a Bi with a very twisted sense of humour if you ask me.
Shannon1981
It’s really sad that the most hated group in the world- homosexuals- often have so much hatred for a group of people who experience the exact same kind of discrimination.
Darren
Geri-Making stuff up is not bisexual he/she is gay or lesbian, or even straight.
Darren
Agreed Sharon, I don’t understand why some gay men and lesbians who have experienced homophobia and bigotry feel that it’s perfectly fine to do what they’ve experienced to bisexuals and be completely biphobic and dismissive of bisexuals. These gays and lesbians are hypocrites.
Shannon1981
@Darren: I think the first step is admitting it. I admit that after the 3rd bisexual woman left and wound up with a man, and, even moreso when I found out all 3 are now rocking the straight life exclusively, I became bitter at the bisexual community, and wary of dating bi women. I can also admit that I am a little edgy and worried when I date a bi lady due to those experiences, and that if I find her checking out men,etc I lash out.
I can admit that I am resentful of bisexual people who enjoy the legal privileges that homosexuals cannot when they couple in opposite relationships.
However, I also realize that my own bad experiences are the reasons for those reactions, not bisexual women, or the bisexual community at large.
Hating on bisexuals solves none of the problems of inequality with regards to sexual orientation. They are a letter in our acronym. We should treat them as such, and stop this nonsense.
A bisexual person who falls in love with someone who happens to be of the opposite sex is still bisexual, and therefore still queer and subject to all the nonsense we face as homosexuals. Gay men and lesbians who hate on them are hypocrites.
hamoboy
@Shannon1981: I wish I could give you 1000 internets! Amazing. Please don’t ever stop being awesome.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Shannon1981: Well, it’s different because you dated women. Bisexual women actually exist.
Shannon1981
@hamoboy: Awww thanks.
@Making up stuff is fun!: What makes you think bisexual men don’t?
R.A.
@Making up stuff is fun!:
Yes. I apologize.
It was late and I am old.
Shannon1981
@R.A.: And who are you to decide how others identify, and to debunk decades of medical science?
I think I’ll trust Alfred Kinsey over some self righteous queen on a gay blog.
Katie
@Making up stuff is fun!:
you obviously don’t read much. Google does this amazing thing that if you enter in words like bi phobia or bi invisibility…you might learn something!
Making up stuff is fun!
@Katie: You’re right. I don’t read much. If I did, I’d know what “provocation” is. And, if I read more, I might know how to interpret people’s tone when they write.
But you know what Google is, so clearly YOUR “education” wasn’t a waste of time.
DistantJad
Bisexuals are some of the most homophobic people I’ve ever met. Get over yourselves.
Dee
Attention Dan Avery & Queerty:
A man (Luke Worrall) being into trans women does not make you ‘bisexual’!
WTF!
Trans women are women! What is with this website always disrespecting trans women!???
Jim K.
I’m fine with bisexuals, what I resent is the number of bisexuals who tell gay people they aren’t really gay …that we are closed minded and are REALLY all bisexual. STFU with that. You’re attracted to sticking it in every hole, whatever…that’s your deal. Don’t tell the rest of us who we are
KlagsMichigan
Ummm…maybe if bisexuals didn’t constantly go around telling the whole world everyone is bisexual like them? It gets annoying. And comes off insecure.
If you’re truly comfortable in your skin as bi, why do you need the entire world to be bi? Most people are definite in being gay or straight. Sorry to bum you out.
Justice-Justin
Guide for bisexuals in not isolating themselves from lesbians and gays:
– STOP telling us to “try” it with the other sex. That we don’t “really know” unless we give it a shot is insulting, ignorant and frankly perpetuates the notion that bisexuals are sexual perverts with no moral compass. Some people are well aware of their emotions for companionship without the need or want to have sex with any demographic that walks in order to know who they inherently are.
– STOP making false self serving statistics that the entire human race is bisexual, and those of us who aren’t embracing our bisexuality are limiting ourselves. That’s again, insulting and defeats your entire purpose in your argument.
– STOP judging gays, feminine gays, lesbians, masculine lesbians, and “the gay scene”…if I had a dollar for every bisexual I met who “isn’t into the scene”…Good for you. Now if you were TRULY well adjusted, and comfortable in your skin, you wouldn’t find the need to consistently want to distance yourself from gays and lesbians, or their social settings and announce your distance like it’s a badge of honor.
Finally….to be welcomed, you should try to be a little more welcomING. While bisexuals are and should be validated, and can be terrific individuals with just as strong of a story as other LGBT members, their need to school and distance themselves from us is NOT bridging any gaps.
Shannon1981
@Justice-Justin: There are some bi folks who love the gay scene. The ones who don’t want to be straight and will wind up in straight relationships anyway, so not worth your time anyway.
I won’t even date lesbians who criticize gay life, so why would I date a bi lady who would?
Individuals, not communities, do the stuff that annoys you so much.
Kyle
@ Shannon1981….I love your posts so much. You call out self hating gays consistently, are rational, thoughtful a TRUE pioneer for gay rights. You don’t throw the gay community under the bus to make a point. I really respect your point of view.
YellowMellow
@Justice-Justin: I actually agree with many of the points you make. I think the bi community has to ask themselves why many lesbians, trans and gays take issue with them. maybe it’s not the fact that their bi but that bi people state some subtle phobic comments toward lesbians, gays and trans folks that they have taken notice of and resent. all in all, we’re in this together. we need to remind ourselves of that
Brandon
Justice Justin what’s your point? The “Gay Scene” is highly overrated and I’m saying this as a gay man. I know A LOT of LGBT folks who were into it when they first came out but now are tired of it and just hang out with their LGBT friends and don’t even go to LGBT events, LGBT bars/clubs, or anything like that as much as they used to. I used to go to LGBT bars every week at least 3-4 nights a week but now I just go when friends of mine are going.
Also gay men and lesbians should stop being biphobic and practicing bisexual erasure, just like how Shannon is by claiming that there are some bisexuals who “want to be straight and will wind up in a straight relationship anyway”.
Shannon1981
@Brandon: I am not practicing bi erasure.Look at this thread, dumbass, I’ve been DEFENDING bisexuality throughout!
Shannon1981
@Kyle: Thank you. I know that these are all emotional topics, but letting emotions get in the way of reality, logic, and reason is never a good thing.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Shannon1981: Hahah. Love it. You’re getting exactly what you deserve.
Shannon1981
@Making up stuff is fun!: You’re a troll.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Shannon1981: Right. Meanwhile, you spent this whole thread arguing against “biphobia” and “bisexual erasure” and yet you still got accused of those things, simply for expressing in plain terms your own life experience. And you deserve it: You can’t take the side of people whose grievances are amorphous, ever-expanding, and without any clear basis, because, eventually, those grievances will end up including you.
Shannon1981
@Making up stuff is fun!: Listen, I do not condone bigotry of any kind, for any reason, ever. You’ve spent this whole thread telling an entire population of people that they don’t exist.
I know that my own life experience colors my perception of the bisexual community, and I admit that.
I also know that people in ANY group get their feathers ruffled when it is pointed out that some members of that group perpetuate stereotypes. the LGBT community is no different.
Geri
@Darren: “Geri-Making stuff up is not bisexual he/she is gay or lesbian, or even straight.”
Really?
Are you familiar with the concept of internalized oppression?
Making stuff up is fun’s biphobic comments are riddled with clichés. This is someone who seems to know them all. I’m Bi and if I was twisted enough to troll this thread like this person I’d be coming out with the same sort of crap.
R.A.
@Justice-Justin:
Justin,
I’d venture most every gay man has encountered what you described in post #119.
Sadly, even posters here claiming to be gay, don’t give a damn about your life experiences as a gay man. It makes these intellectual bottom-feeders feel better about themselves to level charges of “phobia” at anyone who dares to say anything that doesn’t conform to their Standard Operational Bullshit.
P.S. to Shannon, have you even read the 2011 Kinsey report? If you have any evidence that I have ever denied science, please quote the post or shut up.
Colin
This thread is an absolute clusterfuck. It only proves what I said in post #28. I simply will not put up with bisexuals and their agenda. To hell with it. There is no “B” in the gay and lesbian movement.
@Shannon1981: I already said it’s my preference.
Geri
Meanwhile……..
Adele’s Ex-Boyfriend Releases His Own Album
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW_oKbqhJGQ
ScaryRussianHeather
“another big girl “….WTF Queerty.
Here’s what Elle Schneider reportedly had to say about Luke Worrell, that bastion bi role model:
”From the moment I met [Luke Worrall], he was telling me he loved me and he wanted us to get married,. But now I realise it was all lies. At the same time as he was professing his love to me, he was doing the same to Kelly…. He told me that it turned him on knowing I was once a boy. Luke is very different to most guys sexually. It was a relief to find someone who accepted me as I am…. It was only when I took my clothes off he saw I had a penis. He wasn’t fazed by it – he was very complimentary. He was drunk.”
Elle Schneider, 21, a transgender woman who was having an affair with Luke Worrall, the ex-fiancee of a singer Kelly Osbourne. Worrall was allegedly seeing a number of people while he was engaged to Osbourne. (Mirror.co.uk)
R.A.
@Geri:
@ScaryRussianHeather:
Thanks for the hilarious footnotes which put this entire angry conversation into absurd perspective.
Alex
“Bisexuals” STFU with being opressed. You throw the gay community and gay scene under the bus then want us to respect you? please. You often practice homophobia, so why should we feel sympathy for you?
James Corgi
@Brandon: Brandon, you’re also a black gay man. One who has a lot of resentment toward the gay community (maybe not often picked up on? or complimented?) you’ve got one foot in the closet and one foot out, and I’d guess you’re probably more DL than anything. You come from a culture that looks down upon the gay scene, so your opinion of being against is it bias based on your cultural background.
MJ
@Brandon: Everything you claim is biphobia is actually arguments we can make about you and your consistent level of homophobia on here. You discredit the gay scene, gay events, gay community and yet you want us to sympathize with your bi camp? Please. Do you really think the gay community is that weak? YOU single handedly made a biphobe out of me with your posts. You devalue gay life, the gay community and then try to validate bi people. No thanks. Learn respect for the gay community, INCLUDING LGBT events, and then come talk to us about respecting bi people. Until then, you’re as good as a fart in an Opera.
Shannon1981
@James Corgi: @MJ: I have no problem with the calling out of biphobia, because I do it myself. However, thank you both for this insight, because I was very taken aback at his calling me out for bi erasure, when all I have done in this thread is defend bisexuality. Thanks. Explains a lot.
Brandon
James Corgi, Oh of course since I’m black and I’m gay so I MUST be DL and homophobic. *rolls eyes*
queen please
Alex-Why shouldn’t we call out gay men and lesbians who are biphobic bigots? I’m gay and I have zero patience for anyone who is gay or lesbian who thinks it’s perfectly fine to be dismissive of bisexuals’ rights, what the bisexual community says, or who wears rose colored lenses and claims that the LGBT community is all united and that biphobia/transphobia and rac!sm are not major problems here.
Colin-Yes there’s a B in the LGBT/LBG community even though many times it does seem as though it’s all GGGG or gay white male.
Brandon
Shannon-You did defend bisexuality a lot which was good but then you also were dismissive of bisexuals who happened to have an opposite gender partner and were biphobic then with the statement that you wrote that bisexuals “want to be straight and will wind up in a straight relationship anyway”.
MJ-Get out and talk to more LGBT people and you’ll realize that the LGBT scene isn’t all that exciting. It’s actually downright boring now compared to what it was like when I was younger and first coming out decades ago. MJ if you want to be biphobic and a hypocritical bigot that’s your problem but you’re on the same level as the Bachmanns, Rick Santorum, and Rev Fred Phelps and the Westboro church.
Bill
I agree with Brandon the LGBT scene is boring. I can understand how young people when they first come out would find it fun but after a few years of going to bars/clubs I got tired of it. Also bars and clubs can be VERY cliquey and boring. I can think of 1,000 things I’d rather be doing than hanging out in bars or dance clubs all night long. Once you’re past your early 20s the bars and clubs are pointless, and I have been to LGBT pride events but those are now just an excuse to party and get drunk compared to what they once were.
I’m in my 40s and partnered and my husband and I do go to LBGT bars together but for the most part we just hang out with our LGBT friends and we all find the LGBT scene to be superficial.
As for biphobia I never understood why so many gay men and lesbians hate bisexuals? and think that it’s totally fine to be a bigot towards them?
Luke
For all the gays and lesbians who think it’s fine to be bigoted and biphobic you all are hypocritical bigots and practice hate.
R.A.
@Brandon:
“but you’re on the same level as the Bachmanns, Rick Santorum, and Rev Fred Phelps and the Westboro church.”
Will you please explain how MJ wants to dissolve bisexuals’ marriages, deny bisexuals job protections, not allow bisexuals to be protected from hate crimes, and to allow states to criminalize bisexual sex?
Also, has MJ ever protested a bisexual funeral with a “God Hates Bisexuals” sign?
Marcus
@119 Justice-Justin and just who the fuck are you thinking you can speak for all bisexuals, and be completely dismissive of bisexuals’ issues and how biphobia and bigots like you are a real problem within the LGBT community?
I’m gay and even I can tell how you and many other gays and lesbians here are just making up excuses for why you think it’s OK to be biphobic and deal out hate and bigotry towards bisexuals.
I agree that the gay bar and club scene is boring and stupid. Younger gay men like myself are much more comfortable in a mixed crowd bar with hetero friends and if we want to hook up we’re not going to go to a bar but we’ll go on Grindr or Manhunt or any other number of sites.
Brandon
RA that’s easy. MJ claims that bisexuals’ rights should take the back seat to those of gays and lesbians’ rights, and shows that within the GLBT community that there’s the typical biphobic and transphobic dismissive BS of “Oh bisexuals and trans people they’re not REALLY a part of the G&L community, they shouldn’t be linked to us both socially or politically, and their rights pale in comparison to those of us gays and they don’t really know anything about homophobia or actual discrimination!”
There’s also the very silly argument that if you aren’t into the LGBT scene or no longer go to pride events that you’re somehow homophobic or if you’re black and gay like me you’re completely on the DL and homophobic because of your race which is r a c i s t BS.
R.A.
@Brandon:
That’s an interesting quote, but I’m afraid I didn’t catch it.
What post number was that?
Carl 1
@Colin: Wow, phobic much? Seriously, I don’t really know what to say to that other than it resembles male bovine fecal matter. And also, 148 comments? That’s what I get for not checking up on Queerty on a more regular basis…
BryanC
@Colin: I will date who I want, thank you. And if I happen to meet a bisexual man that is wonderful and that I fall for and he falls for me, I will gladly date him. Bisexuals are every bit capable of monogamy as anyone else.
Carl 1
@Colin: And decent people should avoid people like you, full of bigotry and hatred, like the plague. Vile people like you are why I tend to avoid dating monosexuals. So many of you are so insecure about bisexuality it’s staggering. Just because someone was born with an attraction to both genders doesn’t make them any more likely to be ‘unstable’, just as being born gay doesn’t automatically make you more likely to catch an std – its behaviour that carries the risk.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!: Really? I came out as bi at 18, due to social pressure (that is, biphobia) I promptly went back in the closet – as a gay man. I’d swapped a beige closet for a shiny rainbow coloured one. It took the better part of a decade for me to realise that the opinions of others didn’t matter and I came out once more. I’m now a 30+ year old bisexual man. I call nonsense on your “by 30 all bis come out as gay”. Only cowardly gays, who hide as bisexuals because they lack the brass testes to come out properly. Don’t tar us with your brush, ta muchly
Bee
@Brandon: But what if there are gays or lesbians who while okay with bisexuality don’t feel secure enough to date a bisexual. Don’t you think it’d be better for everyone if people like that avoid bisexuals and vice-versa?
Carl 1
@brad: #89 – Really? I guess I’m a figment of someone’s imagination then. I lived as a gay man for almost a decade, but it was a lie. I’m attracted to men. I’m attracted to women. I wonder what that makes me???? Na’vi maybe? Xenomorph? Talaxian?
BryanC
@Carl 1: Are you reading what you typed in your second to last post? I agree with you that biphobia is wrong and that people shouldn’t “tar them” all with the same brush, but…look at what you had to say before that: “Vile people like you are why I tend to avoid dating monosexuals. So many of you are so insecure about bisexuality it’s staggering.” If you had been reading a similar comment made by a “monosexual” person about bisexuals, I think you wouldn’t appreciate it very much.
BryanC
@Carl 1: Your defense of bisexuals becomes less moving to a gay “monosexual” like myself when I read that you “tend to avoid dating monosexuals” because you think “so many of us are insecure about bisexuality, its staggering”.
Carl 1
@BryanC: partially, I respond in kind to try and make people see how hurtful their own words are. I also tend to use monosexual rather than typing out “homosexual and heterosexual”, as I’m on an iPad. I need to buy a keyboard for it, really. Typing on a digital keyboard is a lot harder than on a physical one.
My position on tending to avoid dating people with fixed orientations (is that more palatable?) is because I have enough on my plate dealing with my own issues (sphekophobia, chronic back pain etc), I don’t have time to babysit their insecurities about MY sexuality. And let’s be honest here – it IS their insecurities and issues that are the problem, not bisexuals. And I’ve encountered it a LOT. Hell, I’ve encountered it fom other bisexuals – one bi woman I know reckons that it’s fine for women to be bi, but wrong, sick and gross for men to be bi.
I’m not saying I would never date a person of a solo orientation – heck I asked a straight lass out last month – but rather that I tend to stay clear. Is that some prejudice on my part? Maybe. But I don’t use it to say that all straights/gays are immoral or hiding their true sexuality. It merely impacts who I look to for relationships. I’m a metal head and love redheads, so I tend not to look at blondes as much. Is that a prejudice or a preference? Is my leaning towards fellow bisexuals prejudice or preference? It’s an intriguing question.
Pozguy
Bee it’s best if bisexuals and gays avoid having anything to do biphobic bigots like yourself, RA, and others here.
R.A.
@Bee:
It is correct to insist that people are treated equally before the law and not suffer discrimiation on account of race, sex, gender, sexual orientation, and religious affiliation – but to call people bigots because they are more comfortable dating some people than others is f—-ing insane.
How did a movement that started with fighting for human freedom, the right to association and love end up in the hands of such ideological control freaks?
PS to Brandon: Still waiting for the post number for that quote you attributed to MJ.
Carl 1
@BryanC: It’s just what personal experience has left me with. I don’t think every gay person is like that, my best friend and her girlfriend are both fine with bisexuals (indeed, both of them have dated bisexuals). But I’ve also experienced it enough to have become wary. It’s the same as my sphekophobia – I was stung as a chid and tats what brought it on. Ironically, that very phobia has led directly to more stings, as I panic when wasps are around. I do sometimes wonder if my wariness about dating people with singular sexual orientations has a similar effect.
Pozguy
Carl you’re correct about other bisexuals here’s a link where a woman who claims to be bisexual says that she “refuses to have sex, date, or have a relationship with a bisexual man since she thinks that the risk for HIV from a bi man is just too great” yet that fool thinks she can’t or won’t turn poz from having unprotected sex with a hetero guy.
http://www.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?12718-HIV-Bisexuality-and-the-Gender-Conundrum&s=a5d528100aa4fdf102535143ce1f960a
BryanC
@Carl 1: It could perhaps be seen as a preference that I could respect if not for your given reasoning behind it that lump a staggering number of people into one category. The very thing you and I are BOTH fighting against when we defend bisexuals. You and I are both against lumping bisexuals into one narrow category and I am just as vehemently against lumping gays and straights into a narrow category. It wasn’t so much your dating preference that I had a problem with as much as WHY you have that preference. It just seemed slightly like a double stabdard to me, that’s all.
Incidentally, I have a preference for men with black hair or dark brown hair, but the man I am currently talking with romantically is a blond and despite his hair color, he is still very gorgeous to my eyes.
Carl 1
@Pozguy: And the award for biggest moron goes to… The bi girl who thinks hetero guys aren’t a HIV risk. What a prat she is.
BryanC
@Carl 1: I can understand you feeling this way due to personal experience, and I am sorry that you have been through this, but many of the gay biphobes you are fighting also cite personal experience as their reasons for being biphobic. I wish we could all let go of our conceptions about each other and simply judge each other as individuals, really.
For what its worth, I would never reject a guy because he was bisexual. If I was into him and he was into me, I would gladly date him. I know full well that bisexuals are capable of monogamy and not all of them are homophobes.
Matt
>>How did a movement that started with fighting for human freedom, the right to association and love end up in the hands of such ideological control freaks?<<
RA-Ask yourself that since you're a bigoted person and have biphobia as you've frequently shown here on queerty.
Brandon
RA-You can freely read MJ’s biphobia, bigotry, and rage at post 138. Do you really need to be spoon fed?
I am a gay black man and the rac!st BS about how because of being black I simply have to be DL and homophobic, is just as bad as all of the biphobia here.
Carl 1
@BryanC: I’d never reject someone if I was interested, I just tend not to go places (like the gay scene) as much, where I would meet gay men (the upcoming Cologne CSD/pride festival being an exception. What’s “where’s your place?” in German? Lol). And the key difference is I acknowledge my bias/prejudice and I don’t try to imply that all gay/lesbians/straight people are biphobic. Maybe I worded it poorly by saying a ‘staggering number’, it wasn’t my intention to offend, so I apologise. But I have encountered prejudice far more than tolerance, especially amongst gay men. Given that, I think it’s understandable that myself and others can be wary. It’s like, so many of the LGBT community are vehemently anti-Christian, even though not all Christians are anti-gay.
RobertUK
MJ it’s NOT homophobia to be annoyed by the gay scene, events, or the gay community.
I’m a gay man and I’ve been out for decades and like others here I did find gay pubs and dance clubs to be fun when I was first coming out, and pride events were fun too but there comes a time when you get tired of the drunks, superficial people who just want to hook up who can’t take no for an answer, and how silly and superficial some gay men can be.
I’m not the only gay man who feels this way and I find the gay ‘scene’ to be totally overrated.
BryanC
@Carl 1: Thank you very much for apologizing, and yes, your use of the word “staggering” did contribute to my negative reaction to what you said. Also you seem to have caught on to the fact that I didn’t look too favorably on the term “monosexual”, but I can understand why you use it now that you have clarified. I am not fortunate enough to have an iPad, but I do have an iPod touch and an iPhone and if typing on them is any indication of what its like to type on an iPad, I can understand where you are coming from there. When I first read it, I thought “wow, what a polarizing word!” but, now I understand. Just so long as your motives for using it isn’t based on a “them and us” mentality, which you have clarified is not the case.
My only advice is for you to judge people as they come and not on your past experiences. I could easily be biphobic myself based on my own experiences but I refuse to be. My brother is bisexual and I have watched him break more than one heart over the years because he goes through phases where he might be “in the mood” for women for a few months and then he might switch to being “in the mood” for men for a few months and it just goes back and forth like that for him. He also seems to see himself as being superior to gay men because he is attracted to men and women alike and other than getting sex out of gay men when he craves it, he seems to hold them to a degree of contempt. Where he gets the superiority complex is beyond me, BUT I know that this is just how he is as an individual and not all bisexuals are this way. There is also a bisexual man that I am acquainted with who is married to a woman and he is very aggressively pursuing me for casual sex. However, again, I know that not all bisexuals are like this, and what’s more, many straights and gays CAN be like this. Another man I am acquainted with is gay and has a husband yet very much wants to add me to his “regular rotation” of on-the-side lovers for whenever he sweeps into town on business. So again, I judge people as individuals and not as groups.
And I agree with you, not all Christians are homophobes.
Carl 1
@BryanC: Even though it’s larger, I find the ‘virtual’ keyboard to be amazingly counter-intuitive. Even though I’ll touch a key firmly, it doesn’t always register. Typing takes a bloody age lol
To me, monosexual isn’t a “us vs them” (although I guess it could be seen that way) as much as an easy way to refer to people with an orientation to one gender, coupled with the ease of typing. I literally see it as the counterpart term to bisexuality, nothing more. It isn’t common though and I admit that I do have a tendency to use language that can be abrasive to try and make people think “wow, that’s harsh… Wait, that’s essentially what I wrote.” and I can be pretty unpleasant when offended. And the post I was responding to was bloody offensive, IMO.
I try not to judge, but it is difficult – get stung and you become wary. And like I said, I’d never rule anyone out as a potential partner because of their sexuality. But I can’t help but think “how long until the Scheiße hits the fan about my sexuality?” with straights/gays.
And I know people like your brother and the other guys. My first partner still pursues me, because there are things I like to do that his gf doesn’t. Not touching that,move seen what happens when people get involved with someone who’s in a relationship. And I worked with a guy who has an open relationship with his partner, they actively seek third men to add to their bed.
VoiceofReason
Tons of biphobia from queerty and from a lot of it’s commentators, nothing new or surprising here. Why don’t you all go vote for Romney or join the Westboro klan? That’s where biphobic people belong.
R.A.
@Brandon:
“RA-You can freely read MJ’s biphobia, bigotry, and rage at post 138.”
In other words, YOU MADE UP THE QUOTE – and then pronounced him “biphobic” for saying it.
Only he didn’t.
Like the other Phobia-Peddlers bashing honest gay men on this blog, you are a shameless liar.
Colin
@R.A.: Thank you for all your comments on this thread.
@Carl 1: I’m not insecure. I just have a preference that excludes bisexuals from my dating pool. I’d rather not deal with you people and your agenda and your issues, as I’ve already said.
Shannon1981
@Brandon: No, I was responding to the behavior in the post described by the poster I was referring to. That behavior does happen with some people, but not all, and I was actually pointing out that it is wrong to paint with a broad brush, but if someone comes across a person who acts that way, that particular person is worth no time.
That’s it. I am the last person who is biphobic, if you read my posts in this thread and others.
houtx48
LMAO honest gay men? RA you’ve gotta be kidding you’re biphobic and there are other biphobic gay men too who have replied to this topic.
Making up stuff is fun!
@houtx48: Biphobia isn’t real.
houtx48
making up stuff-Who cares what you think? Biphobia is real and it’s just as bad if not worse than homophobia is.
Making up stuff is fun!
@houtx48: LOL. Quit being such a drama queen, you silly homo.
Colin
@houtx48: Put the crackpipe down.
Shannon1981
@houtx48: If you look at the thread, these two have been trolling with biphobic posts saying that there is no bisexuality and no biphobia. Lost causes.
houtx48
SHannon-Another lost cause is RA who in other threads has shown how he/she is a biphobic bigot.
Sorry Colin I don’t smoke rock but I wouldn’t be surprised if you do.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Shannon1981: I’m sick and tired of your trollphobia and your troll erasure. People like you are worse than Hitler.
Shannon1981
@Making up stuff is fun!: LOL. Trollphobia? I am beginning to think Geri is right, that you are a bisexual person with a very twisted sense of internet humor.
Haven’t you heard? Bring up Hitler and you automatically lose the argument. At least you finally admitted to trolling.
@houtx48: I do not understand biphobic gays. Really, I don’t…
Lance Peterson
The link that someone posted where a bisexual woman thinks that if she has protected sex with a bisexual man that she’s at risk for HIV because the man is bisexual but how she’s safe or not at risk doing it raw/bare with a hetero guy just shows how she’s a complete idiot and a human lemming.
R.A.
@Shannon1981:
“I do not understand biphobic gays. Really, I don’t…”
Now I could easily be a bitchy queen here and respond that a lesbian who claims to have been dumped for a man by not one but THREE bisexuals doesn’t understand much of anything, but I won’t.
One, because I know honorable bisexuals who are loyal husbands, wives and lovers.
Two, because you really are a great bore.
One minute of your Biphobia Song-and-Dance would be enough to send Rosie O’Donnell scouting for a man.
Barry
You’re right about one thing RA you’re a bitchy biphobic queen!
Geri
Blimey, will this thread never die?
Back on topic, the Good News is:
British star Adele ‘over the moon’ as she reveals she is pregnant
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/2012/06/30/british-star-adele-over-the-moon-as-she-reveals-she-is-pregnant-86908-23902618/
And the father-to-be is NOT still married to another woman, they divorced in 2008.
Carl 1
@Colin: Except it’s not our issues, is it? It’s YOUR issues with us that you don’t have the bollocks to face up to. Just another cowardly bigot, scared of something so he blames the focus of his fears. I may have sphekophobia but at least I don’t blame the wasps for it. At least have the courage to admit the truth.
People like you, with your issues about bisexuals, are why I’m so wary. I have enough going on in my life without dealing with other peoples issues about me – heck, doing that is what led me to live in a rainbow closet as a gay man for the better part of a decade.
Carl 1
@Shannon1981: Actually Shannon, that’s a distortion of Godwins Law, which simply states that as any Internet conversation progresses the possibility of a Hitler/Nazi reference approaches 100%. It doesn’t automatically presume the argument to be lost as some such comparisons (or use as an example of where certain positions can lead) can be valid. I only point this out because we had a conserv-a-troll try that on another thread, misusing Godwins Law to try and silence such a valid comparison.
Still, keep up the good fight against the bigots! And some of them are definitely trolling us – but, at least one of them doesn’t address me anymore, I think he/she/it (for trolls are barely human lol) is still smarting from another thread lmao
Carl 1
@Geri: As sure as an article about lesbians will draw out Queerty’s resident mysogonistic prig, articles about bisexuality draw out the usual suspects who hate bisexuals for being who they are. And really, do you expect us to sit back and say nothing? What if a WBC member came visiting and spewed their nonsense all over the comments, would you stay silent or join in?
Geri
@Carl 1: I don’t expect anyone to sit back and say nothing.
I was just pointing out that Adele has moved on.
Colin
@Carl 1: It’s my preference and yes it is my issue. And I don’t have a problem with my decision. Sorry that you apparently do.
James
Shannon you’re biphobic, I am married to a woman and while I am out to her we are monogamous. I guess you wouldn’t consider me bisexual enough since I’m with a woman and not a man.
Colin
@James: I would consider you heterosexual. Because that’s what you are.
Shannon1981
@James: No, you’re still bisexual. Where you got that from, I’ve no idea.
Shannon1981
@Carl 1: Meh, its the internet. Some people get their kicks trolling. Let them.
Making up stuff is fun!
@James: I’m glad people are calling out Shannon on her biphobic BS. Biphobes like her are guilty of bisexual erasure and are the worst kind of bigots, right up there with Rick Santorum and the Westboro Baptist Church.
Shannon1981
@R.A.: Having bad luck a few times in love doesn’t make me a bad or boring person.
Just because I realize that those three women do not the entire bisexual community make doesn’t mean I don’t understand anything.
I understand perfectly that I take that risk when I date bi women. Her next partner might be a man. She might decide that joining the queer community is too difficult and rock the straight life for the sake of hetero privilege. Her choice. I move on rather easily, and I do not paint with a broad brush.
BryanC
I think that some of the problems some gays have, as irrational and unfair as they are, stem from bisexual men who choose women as their life partners.
I think that for *some* (I cannot stress enough that I am saying SOME and not ALL or MOST or even A LOT biphobic gay men, there is an irrational sense of rejection if a bisexual man winds up with a woman and not a man. They feel slighted and they KNOW its irrational, so they have to rationalize it by demonizing the bisexual male in general. This of course is absurd behavior and they really need to deal with their issues, but I do believe that this is the case with *SOME* gay men.
Then for others, there is a lack of understanding why a bisexual man who chooses a woman as his life partner would even feel the need to “come out” to her or anyone else. Its seen by some gays as a moot point. Me, I can understand it because for several years I decided to be celibate for various reasons, but I still felt compelled to come out of the closet even though I was not having sex or dating (those days are long over thankfully lol). There is this need to be fully honest about yourself with everyone you care about and keeping an essential part of yourself bottled up is not healthy. Besides, even as a celibate person I wanted to fight for LGBT issues. Many bisexual men who choose women still fight for the Cause.
Once again, I stress that I mean *SOME* and not all biphobic men. I know there are plenty of other reasons given as well.
But for the record, I will say that I firmly believe that ALL biphobic people are WRONG WRONG WRONG and bigoted. Its a shame that people who KNOW what its like to be discriminated against would discriminate this way against others. Its evil.
Bisexual men often fight for the Cause even when they choose women as their life partners. We should be appreciating them and NOT vilifying them. They ARE our brothers.
R.A.
@Geri:
Be careful introducing complicated facts into the discussion that could in any way be interpreted to conflict with the Grand Poobah of Bisexual Erasure and his dogma.
He may take away your bisexual card or, worse yet, unleash his hordes of imbecilic minions from their closets to call you a bigot.
R.A.
@BryanC:
Oh, for Christ’s sake, Bryan.
Individual people are not corporations or public utilities.
Everyone should have the right to date, screw, and marry whomever they want without being accused of practicing discrimination, being called a bigot and having to defend their preferences.
Making up stuff is fun!
@BryanC: Sorry, dude. I’ll start believing in “bisexual men choosing women” when gay men have attained full equality, and homophobia is not longer an issue at all. Until then, I’ll never be able to tell if that “bisexual” man chose a woman because he really loves her, or because he’s too chickenshit to live his life as a gay man. And no, that’s not “bigoted,” or “biphobic” or whatever bullshit term you want to use; it’s what I feel and it’s what is true to my reality and my experience. And shame on any guy who gets to turn his back on the gay lifestyle and enjoy hetero privilege and looks at me and tells me that my wondering about his motivations is worse than homophobia and that I’m worse than Fred Phelps. Fuck every single poster on this thread who’s hurled that accusation.
hamoboy
@Shannon1981: I handed MUSIF’s ass to him/her on the immigration thread yesterday. While so many commenters were stopping by to spew r@cist bile all over the page, MUSIF insisted on targeting mainly me for criticism because according to him/her “My words had racist undertones”. After pointing out several times over the argument that MUSIF was passively siding with the overt racists by ignoring them and focussing attacks on the anti-racist comments because “we had racist undertones”, and so the scrutiny had more to do with personal antipathy than any attempt at fairness or objectivity, MUSIF exploded into a million pieces of trollishness and flounced off to this thread where he/she can troll others with his/her provocative half-truths and dissembling.
Don’t feed the troll. Give it the good ol’ fashioned starvation therapy.
hamoboy
@Shannon1981: I handed MUSIF’s ass to him/her on the immigration thread yesterday. While so many commenters were stopping by to spew r@cist bile all over the page, MUSIF insisted on targeting mainly me for criticism because according to him/her “My words had r@cist undertones”. After pointing out several times over the argument that MUSIF was passively siding with the overt r@cists by ignoring them and focussing attacks on the anti-r@cist comments because “we had r@cist undertones”, and so the scrutiny had more to do with personal antipathy than any attempt at fairness or objectivity, MUSIF exploded into a million pieces of trollishness and flounced off to this thread where he/she can troll others with his/her provocative half-truths and dissembling.
Don’t feed the troll. Give it the good ol’ fashioned starvation therapy.
Colin
@R.A.: @Making up stuff is fun!: A-freakin-men!
Making up stuff is fun!
@hamoboy: Are you seriously under the delusion that you “handed [my] ass” to me”? I called you out for the underlying racism in your line of thinking (and make no mistake about it: it *was* racist), and your response was to dig your heels in. At no point were you able to acknowledge that your incredibly condescending, patronizing rhetoric (well-meaning though it may have been) could at the very least *sound* as if was somewhat racist; and it was that tone-deafness, that steadfast refusal to acknowledge how the people you are discussing might interpret the things you are saying about them, that I pinpointed as indicative of an underlying racism. You refused to even entertain the notion, and instead decided to shut down dialogue by labeling me a “troll.” (And FWIW: Calling other people a “troll” is the last resort of those who have nothing left to argue.)
Making up stuff is fun!
@hamoboy: Are you seriously under the delusion that you “handed [my] ass” to me”? I called you out for the underlying racism in your line of thinking (and make no mistake about it: it *was* ra/cist), and your response was to dig your heels in. At no point were you able to acknowledge that your incredibly condescending, patronizing rhetoric (well-meaning though it may have been) could at the very least *sound* as if was somewhat ra/cist; and it was that tone-deafness, that steadfast refusal to acknowledge how the people you are discussing might interpret the things you are saying about them, that I pinpointed as indicative of an underlying racism. You refused to even entertain the notion, and instead decided to shut down dialogue by labeling me a “troll.” (And FWIW: Calling other people a “troll” is the last resort of those who have nothing left to argue.)
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!: How is finding the person someone wants to spend the rest of their life with (regardless of gender) “turning their back” on the gay community? Especially if that person continues supporting it in words and deeds? I have been in heterosexual relationships and volunteered at prides at the same time (pulling double duty no less, helping to run the bisexual community stall and doing event photography). Was I “turning my back” on the gay community? Are you seriously suggesting bi-guys should reject love if it happens to be a *gasp* woman just so that you, with your issues and insecurities, don’t feel ‘betrayed’ by someone finding happiness? Do you realize how petty you sound? Your words are essentially saying bi’s should pretend to be gay and give up on the opposite sex, so that you can feel comfortable. Get a grip.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Carl 1: Way to miss the point.
Fine. You continue to “support” the gay community in “words and deeds.” How big of you. But you are of course aware that as long as gay men continue to occupy the bottom rung of the societal ladder, a “bisexual” man who opts for women is, in a sense, trading up? And that’s not a question of my “insecurities” and my “issues” (thank you for so glibly dismissing the social effects of homophobia), it’s just the way things are: A man with a woman will not face the shit that a man with a man has to deal with.
As for finding that special person, read back what I said: I’m not saying it’s not true; I’m saying that it’s impossible for someone on the outside looking in to tell if it’s true or not, and that, given the myriad social pressures for men to choose hetero couplings, it’s hardly surprising if one wonders about the motivations of a “bisexual” who chooses to be with a woman. Such wondering isn’t “bigoted” or “biphobic,” it’s merely inevitable.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!: I never addressed homophobia, I was discussing your personal issues with bisexuals. You’re so full of hate for us. And amazing how you think being an active part of the community is something worth ridiculing with a childish “how big of you” comment. I support equality every day, I speak out against homophobia, I donate to LGBT causes, I volunteer at events. I am a fully active member of our community.
And I am completely out about my sexuality: I face discrimination for that practically every day. Even if I date a woman, I do not hide my sexuality, I am still open and honest and out. Everyone I have dated since I came out as bisexual has known my sexuality, because it is a part of me. And I won’t hide that for others. If I married a womn tomorrow, I would remain the same active member of the community, helping out, volunteering and o on.
And if you look at a bisexual dating a member of the opposite sex and wonder if they’re doing it to ‘evade’ the hassle of a gay relationship, I’d say you have deep personal issues with your comfort regarding your own sexuality and relationships. Personally, when I see someone in a (healthy) relationship, all I think is “good for them”. I don’t consider their ‘motivations’. If you do, I think you have serious issues.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Carl 1:
“I face discrimination for that practically every day. Even if I date a woman, I do not hide my sexuality, I am still open and honest and out.” Yeah. But if you walk down the street holding hands with that woman, you don’t face discrimination; and if you want to marry her, you don’t face discrimination. Don’t pretend that when you’re with a woman you’re a participant in the whole range of shit gay men face simply because you’re bisexual.
“If you look at a bisexual dating a member of the opposite sex and wonder if they’re doing it to ‘evade’ the hassle of a gay relationship, I’d say you have deep personal issues with your comfort regarding your own sexuality and relationships.” Beautiful way of completely dismissing the effects of homophobia; guess that hetero privilege really is working out for ya.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!: You keep trying to make my words about something that they aren’t. I have not discussed homophobia, I have discussed YOU. What are you, dumb or something? Did you not finish school? I have talked about your personal issues with bisexuals, your hatred of us. I haven’t discussed homophobia at all. Quite how you got from the quoted sentence to ‘dismissing homophobia’ i have no clue, since it is clearly aimed at you and your narrow minded, bigoted opinions. Get a grip, kiddo.
And maybe I wouldn’t get as much random shit when dating a woman (at least not for that reason, I get it for others), but that’s not why I date someone. I date them because I LIKE THEM. It’s really quite simple. If I was faced with two people to choose out of to date, a man and a woman, gender would be irrelevant. I would decide based on how much I like them, how we get on together, what we have in common etc. What’s in between their legs is largely irrelevant (although on the Kinsey scale I’m something like a 2 to a 2 1/2, so I do lean more towards women. But you wouldn’t know that if you see me catch a glimpse of Orlando Bloom or hear Sean Connery’s voice. Gods, that man has an amazing voice…) to me.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Carl 1: The fact that you think homophobia doesn’t enter it at all proves either (a) how clueless you are about the realities gay men face, or (b) how your bisexuality allows you to sidestep certain realities that are central to gay men’s reality. I’ll be charitable and assume it’s (a): You’re just kind of a dumb guy, and don’t really understand what this conversation is about.
BryanC
@R.A.: I don’t recall saying anything close to “certain people shouldn’t have the right to date who they choose”. I am speaking out against biphobia which is every bit as wrong as homophobia. Period. Your reply seems utterly unrelated to anything I actually said. Its as though I was discussing the blueness of the sky and your reply was “well, I disagree with your feelings about peanut butter”.
BryanC
@Making up stuff is fun!: You can justify your bigotry all you want, homophobes justify theirs as well, but both homophobia and biphobia remain wrong. I can’t believe people like you perpetuating this sort of hatred when you KNOW how it feels when homophobes do it to you. I just don’t understand why you perpetuate hate.
Making up stuff is fun!
@BryanC: “I just don’t understand why you perpetuate hate.”
Since I’ve explained my position clearly, there are two possibilities:
A) You can’t read.
B) You can read, but aren’t able to process complex information.
Either way, your beef isn’t with me, it’s with the school system in your home state. Take it up with them.
BryanC
@Carl 1: All I can say to you right now is that I hope you don’t let people like Making and R.A. color your feelings about the gay community as a whole. I know that there are separatist movements out there. Some for bisexuals, some for transsexuals, two groups who have suffered at the hands of certain gays and lesbians and so some of them desire to break off and distance themselves from gays and lesbians. That sort of division will not help any of us, and I am very troubled by the fact that people like Making and R.A. perpetuate this cycle of hatred and division and for what seem to be massively petty reasons. It seems to me almost like jealousy, when I see words like “hetero privilege” being used.
BryanC
@Making up stuff is fun!: You have explained your position rather hatefully, and most of your replies are pathetically ad hominem. I can read just fine and I see the hatred you display with great clarity.
Making up stuff is fun!
@BryanC: Weird. I haven’t actually engaged in ad hominems, but you, in that post, have; either you don’t know what that phrase means, or you’re just kind of a shameless hypocrite. I’ll flip a coin.
MikeNYC
Tons of biphobia here from idiots like Making stuff up, Colin, and RA who are all trolls and bigots.
R.A.
@BryanC:
“I am speaking out against biphobia which is every bit as wrong as homophobia.”
Is it?
Do you know people who have been denied jobs because of “biphobia?” Fired from teaching school? Thrown out of the Boy Scouts? Been defrocked by the Baptists?
Have you heard of anyone beaten by gangs of teenagers because of it? Lynched or crucified like Matthew Shephard? Do the Muslim countries put people to death because of “biphobia?” Or those delightful evangelicals in Uganda?
Not that bisexuals aren’t in danger – when they’re walking down the wrong street with A SAME-SEX PARTNER.
Bisexuals suffer real discrimination, too – because of HOMOPHOBIA.
In fact, that’s why they joined this movement in the first place!
To borrow a metaphor from bisexual Gore Vidal, comparing “homophobia” to “biphobia,” is like comparing “baldness to dandruff.”
BryanC
@Making up stuff is fun!: Personal attacks, pal, and if you think your constant insults directed at peoples’ intelligence levels are not ad hominem, then its you who does not know what the term means. You are canceled as far as I am concerned. Have a nice life, hater.
Making up stuff is fun!
@MikeNYC: Labeling other people “trolls” is what the half-witted do when they’re unable to offer relevant counterarguments.
BryanC
@R.A.:
Yes it is, and hatred always starts somewhere and grows. Yes it is as bad. It may not be AS BAD for bisexuals in every situation as it is for gays, but it can be and people like you are helping it along.
Making up stuff is fun!
@BryanC: Actually, an insult isn’t the same thing as an ad hominem. Wow. You really DON’T know what the phrase means.
MikeNYC
There are also a lot of bisexual men who are partnered to other bisexual or even gay men.
I agree completely with you BryanC when you wrote this:
I think that for *some* (I cannot stress enough that I am saying SOME and not ALL or MOST or even A LOT biphobic gay men, there is an irrational sense of rejection if a bisexual man winds up with a woman and not a man. They feel slighted and they KNOW its irrational, so they have to rationalize it by demonizing the bisexual male in general. This of course is absurd behavior and they really need to deal with their issues, but I do believe that this is the case with *SOME* gay men.
Then for others, there is a lack of understanding why a bisexual man who chooses a woman as his life partner would even feel the need to “come out” to her or anyone else. Its seen by some gays as a moot point. Me, I can understand it because for several years I decided to be celibate for various reasons, but I still felt compelled to come out of the closet even though I was not having sex or dating (those days are long over thankfully lol). There is this need to be fully honest about yourself with everyone you care about and keeping an essential part of yourself bottled up is not healthy. Besides, even as a celibate person I wanted to fight for LGBT issues. Many bisexual men who choose women still fight for the Cause.
Once again, I stress that I mean *SOME* and not all biphobic men. I know there are plenty of other reasons given as well.
But for the record, I will say that I firmly believe that ALL biphobic people are WRONG WRONG WRONG and bigoted. Its a shame that people who KNOW what its like to be discriminated against would discriminate this way against others. Its evil.
Bisexual men often fight for the Cause even when they choose women as their life partners. We should be appreciating them and NOT vilifying them. They ARE our brothers
DrewSF
RA-See, there you go talking out of your ass and claiming that biphobia isn’t bad or that it’s OK for someone to be biphobic since it’s not homophobia.
Actually bisexuals helped start the “gay” rights movement. Study history.
Yes there have been people who were fired from their jobs because of biphobia, kicked out of the military because they are bisexual, and attacked/bashed and killed because they are bisexual.
Making up stuff is fun!
@DrewSF: Yeah. Those bisexual people got kicked out/lost their jobs/got attacked because of homophobia. You’re pretty thick-headed if you think otherwise.
Scott
Of course male bisexuality exists and no it is not somehow rare or impossible for a man to be truly bisexual. Oscar Wilde was bisexual and so was Robert Mapplethorpe.
In the history of gay/bisexual men or the homophile movement AKA gay/GLBT liberation there was the Mattachine Society which also had bisexual men as founding members. The MattachineSociety and another early gay rights group the society for human rights tried being polite and educating people about homosexuality/bisexuality. These conservative gay/bisexual male liberation groups did not work but Stonewall did.
The Stonewall riots were started by a bisexual Trans woman named Sylvia Rivera.
Yes she was actually at Stonewall. Trans people can be bisexual too like she was.
Columbia University’s Student Homophile League, was established by Stephen Donaldson AKA Donny the Punk, an openly bisexual student, in 1966.
Brenda Howard an out bisexual woman started Gay/GLBT pride to celebrate Stonewall that started in NYC and around the world.
Cliff Arnesen a bisexual soldier was kicked out of the U.S. military in the 60s because he was bisexual and he has appeared before Congress as a bisexual person who was kicked out of the military because of his non-heterosexuality. This happened decades before Lt. Dan Choi.
If you heard of the Catacombs club in SF in the late 70s/early 80s Steve McEachern the founder of it was bisexual both sexually and romantically-he fell in love with both men and women, and his lover was Cynthia Slater was bisexual too. Oh my bad, I’m sure you’ll just think of her as being a Dyke.
The author formerly known as Pat, now Patrick Califia is a bisexual both sexually and emotionally/romantically.
Many gay men want to rewrite history when it comes to bisexuality and when someone who was formerly identified as gay comes out as bisexual.
Biphobic gay men should stop invalidating the personal sexuality of these men that is not that of gay/homosexual despite how much you wish that they really were gay.
The whole bisexual revolution started in the mid-late 60s and early 70s. There have always been out bisexuals throughout history just look at Hadrian and British writers such as D.H. Lawrence and Virginia Woolf.
There’s a tendency for gay men who have their own agendas of spreading misinformation and re-writing the history of the GLBT community and they want to claim that bisexuals have never been socially or politically linked to gay men and lesbians or accepted by gay men and lesbians.
If you are really bisexual and a man if you come out some people, are just going to tell you that you don’t exist and that you’re really going to eventually come out as being a gay man but it does not work this way.
Gay men and lesbians can sometimes be more bigoted towards bi’s than straight people are towards bisexuals.
I have had Kinsey 6 gay men tell me how yes there are some gay men out there who feel as though it is their privilege and right to demand equality and sexual freedom for everyone yet treat bisexuals like shit.
DrewSF
MakingStuffUp-You don’t even believe in bisexual men at all and you’re a troll. Yes in the cases I wrote about they were targeted and/or fired from their jobs, kicked out of the military, and bashed because they are bisexual and because of biphobia not because of homophobia.
It’s not like they somehow got half a military discharge or were only told to show up to work part time since they’re bisexual.
R.A.
@DrewSF:
Really? They were thrown out of the military because they were attracted to the opposite sex?
Please explain.
R.A.
@Scott:
“Cliff Arnesen a bisexual soldier was kicked out of the U.S. military in the 60s because he was bisexual…”
Really, Scott? Here’Cliff’s words:
“during the interview with the psychiatrist that I felt a sense of relief and a glimpse of understanding when the officer asked, “Private Arnesen, do you like boys and girls? And, If so, have you ever had a sexual relationship with the opposite sex.” In response, I simply answered, “Yes.” After my affirmative reply he asked, “To whom are you most attracted to, boys or girls?”
Without hesitation, I told him my feelings were equal: I was physically and emotionally attracted to both genders. Then, he looked into my eyes and told me he agreed that I was bisexual, but warned me that I would be discharged as a homosexual because the military made no distinction between a person who was homosexual or bisexual.”
“Finally, on Wednesday, January 25, 1967, I was given an “Undesirable Discharge,” based on homosexuality …”
http://www.binetusa.org/Pages/FirstPerson/CliffArnesen_BiVet.html
Geri
@R.A.: So by maintaining his bisexual identity Cliff Arnesen was unable to avail himself of his “heterosexual privileges”.
Geri
@R.A.: “To borrow a metaphor from bisexual Gore Vidal, comparing “homophobia” to “biphobia,” is like comparing “baldness to dandruff.” ”
That’s an interesting metaphor.
People who find a bald head attractive are numerous, people attracted to dandruff are very rare.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!: Odd, I never said homophobia doesn’t factor into matters, I said I’m not discussing it at the moment – I’m discussing you and your PERSONAL issues with bisexuals: it seems your name is very fitting, as you certainly enjoy making Scheiße up! The wider topic of homophobia (which I have direct, personal experience of, since many straight guys don’t see bisexuals at all, they see simply see “likes guys = gay”) is one for other comments in this thread. My comments are specifically about you and your personal issues.
However, I will give you credit, that was a nice try at fudging the matter there, but it won’t fly. Your methodology is the same as those ‘Christians’ who claim allowing marriage equality would lead to incestuous marriage. It doesn’t work for them and it won’t work for you either. Stop distorting and stick to the topic at hand – your personal hatred of bisexuals. We’ll discuss homophobia in general later, kiddo.
Now, back to the specific area I was addressing, your *personal* hatred of bisexuals and the biphobia it manifests as. I find it odd that when you look at a bisexual in an opposite sex relationship your first thought is “are they doing it in order to hide?” and not “I wonder if they’ve found the person they’re going to spend the rest of their life with?” or “are they happy?” or “what a cute guy, she’s a lucky woman”. It says a great deal about you, none of it good I’m afraid. Have you considered seeking professional advice to help you deal with these *personal* issues you have with bisexuals? Because I can tell you one thing for free, they ain’t bloody healthy.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!: (reposting because this got swallowed by Queerty’s random “auto-flag” feature)
Odd, I never said homophobia doesn’t factor into matters, I said I’m not discussing it at the moment – I’m discussing you and your PERSONAL issues with bisexuals: it seems your name is very fitting, as you certainly enjoy making Scheiße up! The wider topic of homophobia (which I have direct, personal experience of, since many straight guys don’t see bisexuals at all, they see simply see “likes guys = gay”) is one for other comments in this thread. My comments are specifically about you and your personal issues.
However, I will give you credit, that was a nice try at fudging the matter there, but it won’t fly. Your methodology is the same as those ‘Christians’ who claim allowing marriage equality would lead to incestuous marriage. It doesn’t work for them and it won’t work for you either. Stop distorting and stick to the topic at hand – your personal hatred of bisexuals. We’ll discuss homophobia in general later, kiddo.
Now, back to the specific area I was addressing, your *personal* hatred of bisexuals and the biphobia it manifests as. I find it odd that when you look at a bisexual in an opposite sex relationship your first thought is “are they doing it in order to hide?” and not “I wonder if they’ve found the person they’re going to spend the rest of their life with?” or “are they happy?” or “what a cute guy, she’s a lucky woman”. It says a great deal about you, none of it good I’m afraid. Have you considered seeking professional advice to help you deal with these *personal* issues you have with bisexuals? Because I can tell you one thing for free, they ain’t bloody healthy.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!:
(reposting because this got swallowed by Queerty’s random “auto-flag” feature)
Odd, I never said homophobia doesn’t factor into matters, I said I’m not discussing it at the moment – I’m discussing you and your PERSONAL issues with bisexuals: it seems your name is very fitting, as you certainly enjoy making rubbish up! The wider topic of homophobia (which I have direct, personal experience of, since many straight guys don’t see bisexuals at all, they see simply see “likes guys = gay”) is one for other comments in this thread. My comments are specifically about you and your personal issues.
However, I will give you credit, that was a nice try at fudging the matter there, but it won’t fly. Your methodology is the same as those ‘Christians’ who claim allowing marriage equality would lead to incestuous marriage. It doesn’t work for them and it won’t work for you either. Stop distorting and stick to the topic at hand – your personal hatred of bisexuals. We’ll discuss homophobia in general later, kiddo.
Now, back to the specific area I was addressing, your *personal* hatred of bisexuals and the biphobia it manifests as. I find it odd that when you look at a bisexual in an opposite sex relationship your first thought is “are they doing it in order to hide?” and not “I wonder if they’ve found the person they’re going to spend the rest of their life with?” or “are they happy?” or “what a cute guy, she’s a lucky woman”. It says a great deal about you, none of it good I’m afraid. Have you considered seeking professional advice to help you deal with these *personal* issues you have with bisexuals? Because I can tell you one thing for free, they ain’t bloody healthy.
Carl 1
Well, I’ve made three attempts to reply to making up rubbish, but queerty keeps eating my post. I’m sure you can all wok out I ran circles around the child again lol
Carl
Let’s try a different approach:
@Making up stuff is fun!:
(reposting because this got swallowed by Queerty’s random “auto-flag” feature)
Odd, I never said homophobia doesn’t factor into matters, I said I’m not discussing it at the moment – I’m discussing you and your PERSONAL issues with bisexuals: it seems your name is very fitting, as you certainly enjoy making rubbish up! The wider topic of homophobia (which I have direct, personal experience of, since many straight guys don’t see bisexuals at all, they see simply see “likes guys = gay”) is one for other comments in this thread. My comments are specifically about you and your personal issues.
However, I will give you credit, that was a nice try at fudging the matter there, but it won’t fly. Your methodology is the same as those ‘Christians’ who claim allowing marriage equality would lead to incestuous marriage. It doesn’t work for them and it won’t work for you either. Stop distorting and stick to the topic at hand – your personal hatred of bisexuals. We’ll discuss homophobia in general later, kiddo.
Now, back to the specific area I was addressing, your *personal* hatred of bisexuals and the biphobia it manifests as. I find it odd that when you look at a bisexual in an opposite sex relationship your first thought is “are they doing it in order to hide?” and not “I wonder if they’ve found the person they’re going to spend the rest of their life with?” or “are they happy?” or “what a cute guy, she’s a lucky woman”. It says a great deal about you, none of it good I’m afraid. Have you considered seeking professional advice to help you deal with these *personal* issues you have with bisexuals? Because I can tell you one thing for free, they ain’t bloody healthy.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun:
(reposting because this got swallowed by Queerty’s random “auto-flag” feature)
Odd, I never said homophobia doesn’t factor into matters, I said I’m not discussing it at the moment – I’m discussing you and your PERSONAL issues with bisexuals: it seems your name is very fitting, as you certainly enjoy making rubbish up! The wider topic of homophobia (which I have direct, personal experience of, since many straight guys don’t see bisexuals at all, they see simply see “likes guys = gay”) is one for other comments in this thread. My comments are specifically about you and your personal issues.
Carl 1
(@Making up stuff is fun, continued)
However, I will give you credit, that was a nice try at fudging the matter there, but it won’t fly. Your methodology is the same as those ‘Christians’ who claim allowing marriage equality would lead to incestuous marriage. It doesn’t work for them and it won’t work for you either. Stop distorting and stick to the topic at hand – your personal hatred of bisexuals. We’ll discuss homophobia in general later, kiddo.
Carl 1
(@Making up stuff is fun, continued)
However, I will give you credit, that was a nice try at fudging the matter there, but it won’t fly. Your methodology is the same as those ‘Christians’ who claim allowing marriage equality would lead to other firms of undesirable marriage. It doesn’t work for them and it won’t work for you either. Stop distorting and stick to the topic at hand – your personal hatred of bisexuals. We’ll discuss homophobia in general later, kiddo.
Now, back to the specific area I was addressing, your *personal* hatred of bisexuals and the biphobia it manifests as. I find it odd that when you look at a bisexual in an opposite sex relationship your first thought is “are they doing it in order to hide?” and not “I wonder if they’ve found the person they’re going to spend the rest of their life with?” or “are they happy?” or “what a cute guy, she’s a lucky woman”. It says a great deal about you, none of it good I’m afraid. Have you considered seeking professional advice to help you deal with these *personal* issues you have with bisexuals? Because I can tell you one thing for free, they ain’t bloody healthy
Carl 1
@Scott: Great comment there, although you might want to add people like Marlon Brando and Alan Cumming to it, two every day names who are bisexual. And prepare for some posters to kick up a s**t storm over Wilde – mentioning him as bisexual caused a right old ruckus on another thread lol
And figured out why my post was been flagged, Queerty must have a word filter running, one single word was flagging the whole post! Wish the ‘warning’ would include that bit of info!
Carl 1
@R.A.: Wow. Just wow. I’ve seen a lot of nonsense from you, but that takes the biscuit. Biphobia isn’t as bad as homophobia? What utter bollocks. Everyone knows I am bisexual and I have received abuse because of it. “Queer”, “fa**ot”, “greedy”, “confused”, “filthy switch-hitter”… On and on. I’m lucky in that the company I work for has always had rules in place forbidding discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation, even before the government made such discrimination illegal back in 2000, so being fired for it has never been an issue for me (or any other member of staff, the site manager on nights is lesbian, for example).
Shannon1981
@hamoboy: ahhhh I missed that thread. I hate that too, but I’m working a lot lately and not online all the time anymore. Good idea. 🙂
R.A.
@Geri:
“So by maintaining his bisexual identity Cliff Arnesen was unable to avail himself of his “heterosexual privileges”.
Now you know I detest this political gibberish, but if you insist, OK.
No.
Confessing to his attraction to men was the cause of his loss of heterosexual privilege. Confessing to his equal attraction to women had nothing at all to do with either his loss of privilege or with his discharge.
In fact, he claims he was forced by his investigators from the Central Intelligence Division to commit a homosexual act with another soldier “to prove I (he) was gay.”
Scott’s post on Ameson was a total and deliberate misrepresentation of facts. http://www.binetusa.org/Pages/FirstPerson/CliffArnesen_BiVet.html
“People who find a bald head attractive are numerous, people attracted to dandruff are very rare.”
Clever, but only true if you take the dandruff-victim’s hair out of the equation.
I have yet to meet a bald man who would not prefer to have both hair AND dandruff.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4750193.stm
Carl 1
@R.A.: Actually, you’re misrepresenting the facts. He is a bisexual man dismissed from the military because of an attraction to men, therefore he WAS dismissed for being bisexual, under rules that forbid people attracted to the same sex. The fact that he is bisexual means he fell foul of laws that don’t specifically site bisexuality, but do encompass him. It doesn’t mean he was dismissed for being gay, he was dismissed for being bisexual and admitting that he was partially attracted to men as well as women.
You can twist and turn all you want, R.A, but that’s the plain simple truth.
R.A.
For those who care about truth, they can read Amenson’s own words at Binet:
“Finally, on Wednesday, January 25, 1967, I was given an “Undesirable Discharge,” based on homosexuality …”
http://www.binetusa.org/Pages/FirstPerson/CliffArnesen_BiVet.html
Andrew
Actually RA and Geri Cliff was discharged because he’s bisexual. Carl1 is correct.
Steve
LMAO now RA is going on and on about how bisexuals have LMAO “Heterosexual privilege” despite the fact that most gay men and lesbians worldwide are completely closeted, not out, and are married or partnered to the same gender yet he won’t claim that they have a “hetero privilege”.
Paul
RA is your typical biphobic bigot claiming that bisexuals who happen to get with an opposite gender partner are doing it just to hide, can’t possibly be out as bisexual, and aren’t a part of the LGBT community or political movement. Such bullshit.
MarieDelta
Yet again RA is denying that biphobia and bisexual erasure exist all while being a bigot!
RA there have been a lot of bisexual men and women who were discharged from the military under DADT because of their bisexuality. Do your research and quit talking out of your ass as bigots like you love to do.
Making up stuff is fun!
Dear God, what an insufferable bunch of whiners you people are. Seems you won’t be happy until the world falls to its knees in tears and admits bisexuals are the most persecuted, longest suffering group on earth.
Fine, here it is: Biphobia is awful; it’s worse than homophobia, anti-semitism, and racism. It’s worse than slavery, the Holocaust, and the Rwandan genocide. And biphobic people are worse than Hitler, worse than Stalin, worse than Pol Pot.
There. You heard it. That’s what you want, isn’t it? For people to crumble in tears out of pity for the poor little bisexuals? Well, you got it. Now can you shut the fuck up?
Making up stuff is fun!
And no, no one ever got kicked out of anything due to biphobia. Every bisexual victim of DADT was a victim of homophobia.
J!m
That’s bullshit Making up stuff, bisexuals were kicked out of the military because of being bisexual and they were victims of biphobia.
Then again you’re a troll so nobody cares what your bigoted ass thinks.
Brent
Making stuff up-The way some gay men and lesbians go on about homophobia (yet think that being biphobic is perfectly fine and acceptable!) you’d think that homophobia is worse than genocide and that everyone that’s gay/lesbian is automatically hated but they are professional victims and think it’s perfectly fine to be bigots towards bisexuals and trans people.
Making up stuff is fun!
@J!m: Labeling someone one a troll is the last refuge of those who’ve run out of arguments. Get back to me when you have something of substance to say.
Stuart
Ignore the biphobic idiots on here, these are the same people who if this were the 1950s would be all for racial segregation or claiming that they’re not racist and that racism as a concept doesn’t exist at all.
Stuart
Ignore the biphobic idiots on here, these are the same people who if this were the 1950s would be all for racial segregation or claiming that they’re not ra cist and that rac ism as a concept doesn’t exist at all.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Stuart: You really have the gall to compare “biphobia” to racial segregation? Seriously, do you people have no shame at all?
Geri
@Making up stuff is fun!: do “you people” have no shame at all?
Seriously.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!: He’s not saying it is, or even that it’s comparable, but that your *attitude* towards bisexuality is the same attitude and mindset of those who supported rac ism back in the 1950’s, two entirely different things. You really DO like making bollocks up, don’t you?
R.A.
Sounds like Stuart had his “mind” opened last night by a brother on the down-low. and now he thinks he’s Bernice King.
Carl 1
@R.A.: If in doubt, throw in a little rac ism eh?
Brandon
RA you’re a RAC!ST fuck. I’m black and I suppose you think I’m on the DL and homophobic like another rac!st fool here did just because I am black and gay.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Carl 1: Riiight. But comparing biphobia to what black men and women suffered in the segregated South in the 50s — that’s the epitome of racial sensitivity.
R.A.
@Brandon:
Honey, you’re not butch enough to be on the down low.
Carl 1
@R.A.: Good grief, you just keep getting uglier and uglier, don’t you? No wonder so few people here seem to like you. I also love the way you ignore every comment I make after I ran circles around you on another thread about bisexuality. Thanks for the free entertainment, who needs pron.
@Making up stuff is fun!: In any case where people are subjected to discrimination based upon a factor of themselves, comparisons of the motivations that drive it are valid, even if direct comparisons of the suffering inflicted are not (I don’t think anyone has or would suggest that the suffering of homosexuals or bisexuals in anyway compares to the suffering inflicted upon African Americans or Native Americans). But hey, it wouldn’t be the same if you just took someone’s statement as written, without twisting it or distorting it or adding your own prejudices, would it?
Making up stuff is fun!
@R.A.: @Brandon: He’s got you there, Brandon. To be on the DL, you can’t come as the black Kurt Hummel.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Carl 1: No, I’m taking your statement as written and showing how ridiculous it is.
My attitude towards bisexuals: “Mnn, I wonder whether he’s *really* bisexual or, as no one can deny sometimes happens, he’s actually confused due to the ugly effects of homophobia.”
A racist’s attitude in the 1950s: “Black people deserved to be lynched; to be strung up in trees if they look at a white woman; to have their families terrorized with burning white crosses and even killed if they challenge segregation; to have dogs sicked on them and their children spat at if they fight the system; to have their killers acquitted in court; to be given inferior housing, income, education.”
You’re saying that those attitudes are the same, which to me is proof of how little perspective you have.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Carl 1: No, I’m taking your statement as written and showing how ridiculous it is.
My attitude towards bisexuals: “Mnn, I wonder whether he’s *really* bisexual or, as no one can deny sometimes happens, he’s actually confused due to the ugly effects of homophobia.”
A ra/cist’s attitude in the 1950s: “Black people deserved to be lynched; to be strung up in trees if they look at a white woman; to have their families terrorized with burning white crosses and even killed if they challenge segregation; to have dogs sicked on them and their children spat at if they fight the system; to have their killers acquitted in court; to be given inferior housing, income, education.”
You’re saying that those attitudes are the same, which to me is proof of how little perspective you have.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!: Yes, but it’s the nderlying hatred that causes you to think that. And many rac ists have just as polite and ‘mainstream’ ways of explaining their bigoted views. Dress it up how you want, the core remains the same ugly truth: you hate people for being born differently.
And I did come out as ‘gay’, to appease fools like you. It wasn’t me. I’m attracted to men and women, not just men or just women. As a teenager I was in a straight closet, in my twenties I swapped it for a gay closet. I chose not to be in a closet simply to appease bigots like you.
Marisol
RA it’s good to know that you’re a complete hypocrite since you’re biphobic and r a c i s t as your comments have shown.
Brandon
RA please I’m actually not hyper masculine nor am I a flaming queen. I’m just a regular black man who is gay. You’re still a flaming queen that’s biphobic and a rac!st pig.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Brandon: “I’m just a regular black man who is gay,” he said, snapping his fingers 3 times in a Z motion, and sashaying away.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!: Classy, very classy
R.A.
There is nothing racist about referring to the down low which is African-American slang for a kind of bisexual behavior.
My context was absolutely clear – I was responding to Stuart’s attempted erasure of the singularly horrific sufferings of African Americans at the hands of white supremacists.
Pathetically, you and Carl have chosen to spit on the graves of Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King for no better reason than to call me yet more names.
I suppose child molester will be next.
Well, I’ve had enough.
Good riddance to you and your British friend. I am leaving Queerty as I really don’t need endless character assaults from lying scum like the two of you.
Geri, farewell. We have often disagreed, but you have always been honorable, and your humanity is obvious.
Matt
RA, making stuff up, and Colin are the same people posting, and are sock puppets.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sockpuppet
A false identity adopted by trolls and other malcontents to support their own postings.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Matt: No, you retarded douchebag, I’m not other people. And that little tactic of yours — accusing people with views you oppose of being trolls, since you can’t come up with counterarguments — marks you as an insubstantial nit-wit. Get back to your low-paying job in the service industry, and leave the arguing to the adults.
Making up stuff is fun!
@Matt: No, you ret/arded douchebag, I’m not other people. And that little tactic of yours — accusing people with views you oppose of being trolls, since you can’t come up with counterarguments — marks you as an insubstantial nit-wit. Get back to your low-paying job in the service industry, and leave the arguing to the adults.
Carl 1
@Making up stuff is fun!: Another witty and biting retort from MUSIF, once again stretching his intellectual muscles too their maximum.
Since you have provided nothing to support your hatred and bigotry, instead relying on “because I say so”, personal attacks, insults and generally disruptive language it’s hardly a surprise that some are calling you a troll, since you are engaging in behaviour typical of those who troll sites for the attention.
Personally, I don’t think you’re a troll. I think you’re a nasty, bigoted cretin who hates people simply for how they were born, just like a certain *other* group hates people for how they are born (and how people used to hate other groups for how they born). It’s all intolerance and bigotry, no matter how you dress up. Not that you make much efoort to disguise it, which I will give you credit for – I much prefer someone who is honest in their bigotry, not hiding behind excuses like “my holy book says so”.
Jake
There are tons of hypocritical nelly queens on this thread like RA, Making stuff up, and Colin who are bigots and biphobic. They are also highly raci st as shown with other comments and they’d fit in great at a Westboro Baptist meeting or klan meeting!
Paulo
What’s with the way a lot of gay men and lesbians think that it’s totally fine to be biphobic, invalidate a bisexual person’s sexuality, and be complete hypocrites when it comes to LGBT equality?