Lawmakers in Alabama have been freaking out about same-sex marriage for a while now, but their dreams of denying same-sex couples the freedom everyone else enjoys may soon be coming to an end.
Here’s a quick recap of what’s been going on:
In February, a federal judge in Mobile struck down the state’s gay marriage ban, causing panic across the Heart of Dixie, prompting a local branch of the KKK to issue a statement saying it was not pleased about the ruling.
Related: The KKK Is, Wait For It, Very Unhappy About Gay Marriage In Alabama
How about we take this to the next level?
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In March, the state’s Supreme Court ordered a halt on same-sex marriages. But with the U.S. Supreme Court set to rule on marriage equality this month, lawmakers saw the writing on the wall.
Members of the state Senate came up with what they thought was a very clever plan: If gay marriage was inevitable, then they would stop issuing marriage licenses altogether. Nobody, gay or straight, would be granted a certificate. Instead, couples would have to submit a contract to a probate judge. But only contracts between men and women would be accepted.
Cute.
Related: Alabama Is Resisting The Civil Rights Movement All Over Again
The bill actually passed in the Senate by 22-3, but when it went to the House of Representatives this week, it died in committee, failing by a vote of 8-3.
Republican committee member Rep. Mike Ball called the bill a “very creative idea” but admitted “I think this needs more thought.”
Democrat committee member Rep. Chris England said the bill wouldn’t accomplish anything other than create more confusion around the issue.
“The core of the issue is going to remain the same,” England said. “It is still going to be chaos.”
Related: George And Brad Takei Give Alabama The Finger, Want You To Do The Same
h/t: AL.com
Rick Cervantes
Sorry bout it.
Bauhaus
Notice how these dipshits want to get out of the marriage “business” altogether, now it’s extended to us? Let them continue their apoplectic onslaught against us, it’s fun to watch their angst.
SteveDenver
If they won’t get out of the way, RUN THEM DOWN!
polarisfashion
If you don’t want same sex marriage then marry someone from the opposite sex. Its that simple. What theses idiots don’t realize is that they are on the wrong side of history again.
Brian Cherry
Some people don’t get that same sex equality really is good for straight people too, since oppression leads to gays hiding in shame marriages which also hurt their heterosexual spouse.
Giancarlo85
@polarisfashion: Wrong side of history George Wallace style.
Stephen Schrader
I just love the picture they posted with this.
polarisfashion
@Giancarlo85: Exactly!
Arvo Toolanen
Someone actually said “if I can’t marry my boyfriend, then I’ll marry your daughter”? Oh, oh!
Samuel Klein
Fuckery… Can’t believe this is actually happening… It is 2015… But is that equivalent to human rights? Apparently not -_-
Valerie Anderson
Redic!
GayEGO
The Alabama government is digging it’s heels in, kicking and screaming, as it is dragged to Marriage Equality.
jwtraveler
“Freedom to marry” is an oxymoron.
diebold210
queer clothes to celebrate!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/KillThePatriarchy
Mack
I keep asking on other sites but yet none of those fools can answer-How does my getting same-sex married affect you straight marriage? And another question is: What business of yours who I marry? Still no answer. These fools just protest to open their mouths.