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Krazy Keyes

Alan Keyes Thinks Your Gay Sex Isn’t Real Because You Aren’t Making Babies

Screen Shot 2014-06-03 at 2.35.07 PM

Right-wing conservative nutcase Alan Keyes is douchebagging it up yet again, this time in an op-ed for World News Daily titled – get this – Homosexual ‘Rights': Suicide For Humanity?

He’s now arguing that all the gay sex you’re having isn’t really “sexual activity” since you aren’t procreating.

We call it sexual activity because it involves bodily organs and feelings associated with the activity for which the different sexes appear to exist. Yet, in the strict sense of the term, it is not “sexual” activity at all. The functional difference that distinguishes one sex from the other quite literally has nothing to do with same-sex activity. That activity abstracts from the functionally defined difference in order exclusively to focus on bodily feelings and emotions that are important to the individuals involved, but that are of no consequence, concretely, for the species as a whole.

We read that as well as the entire awful “article” three times and we still can’t figure out what the hell he’s trying to say. Is it that sex without the explicit purpose of reproducing isn’t really sex? Well what about all the heteros who have sex with condoms? Are they not having real sex?

He then goes even further trying to explain his crackpot theory:

As individuals, some human beings may find this activity intensely gratifying. But considered on the whole, in terms of its consequences, it implies the nonexistence of humanity. The homosexual couple is not engaged in the act of human procreation. Their activity is not haunted by the possibility of human offspring. It does not imply the reification of their responsibility for the future of humanity as such. The pleasurable satisfaction it involves does not draw individuals away from their particular selves toward a concrete physical union (in the child they conceive) that represents the perpetuation of their being as a whole, their human being.

Well, yes, we find our sex life very gratifying, even if we’re not exactly trying to make a kid. Be ready, gays: this stuff is only going to get crazier and crazier as LGBT people get more and more rights.

Hopefully it will one day be driven to the fringes of society like the hardcore racist and sexist “theories” that sprouted up when other groups were fighting for their rights.

And just for fun, tell the next straight couple you see that they’re not having real sex unless they’re trying to make a baby and see how they respond. We’re sure they’ll be absolutely thrilled.

By:           Rob Smith
On:           Jun 3, 2014
Tagged: ,
  • 10 Comments
    • Bulls Eye
      Bulls Eye

      So if it’s not “sexual activity” unless you’re trying to make a baby…then Bill Clinton DIDN’T have sex with Monica Lewinsky.

      Where the hell was this asshole during the impeachment proceedings? He could have saved the Country about $70 million.

      Jun 3, 2014 at 4:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spike
      Spike

      For str8 guy, he sure seems obsessed with what two guys do when they hook up, regardless if he considers it sex or whatever.

      Jun 3, 2014 at 4:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jake357
      Jake357

      Maybe he is curious in the same way the woman at the IML orgy was curious. BTW, surprised Queerty hasn’t covered that story.

      Jun 3, 2014 at 4:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dez
      Dez

      Alan Keyes has a superiority complex. Hetersexuals do not pro-create EVERY time they have sex! 99% of the sex they have is strictly for pleasure! And there’s nothing wrong with that!

      Why can’t fools like this see that homosexuals not pro-creating together gives them the chance to adopt the millions of orphaned children that were CONSEQUENTIALLY created by the “sacred” hetero union? Or maybe that some people aren’t meant to or don’t WANT to have kids! And that doesn’t make them any less important as individuals or to society if they dont want to have kids.

      Adopting an orphan is concrete. As is being true to yourself, living an honest & full life, having great, fulfilling sex and finding true love- it’s concrete for each individual that experiences those things.

      Alan Keyes – get the fuvk over yourself!

      Jun 3, 2014 at 5:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RSun
      RSun

      If, we’re not having sex then doesn’t that remove the sticking point that most anti-gay people dwell on?

      Jun 3, 2014 at 5:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stefano
      Stefano

      Is he on drugs ?

      Jun 3, 2014 at 5:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PARKAVMAN
      PARKAVMAN

      Thank God for small favors. Less worries. More sex.

      Jun 3, 2014 at 9:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      Alan Keyed-up needs more shoe polish!

      Jun 4, 2014 at 12:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Harley
      Harley

      He’s just jealous cause he can’t even pay a prostitute to have sex with him cause he is SO damned ugly.

      Jun 4, 2014 at 5:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mezaien
      Mezaien

      Alan Keyes, most be shit to be Christian. AND if you don`t think a HOMO like me can make it!? well I got six children how many you got?.

      Jun 4, 2014 at 8:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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