So, Friday we established that Evangelical Rev Ted Haggard admitted to buying meth through a hooker named Mike Jones. Over the weekend – on Sunday, actually, in a letter read to his congregation by standby president, Rev. Larry Stockstill – Haggard admitted to so-called “sexual immorality” after being fired by a jury of his God-fearing peers.
The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. And I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There’s a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life.
Indeed. Battling with internal homophobia’s ugly business. It’s especially vile when the pereson in question’s an outspoken gay-nemesis. So hideously revolting that children were ejected from the room to protect their innocent, Biblically anesthetized ears from the grotesque, homosexually charged discussion, The New York Times reported.
We actually feel sort of bad for poor Haggard. He’s obviously got so many unresolved issues, we can’t even wrap our minds around the pocked nightmare that is his psyche.
The cover-up, it seems, comes not from a deep-seated shame. On the contrary, as Haggard writes in his letter, the aforemetioned disception came from “pride”: “because of pride, I began deceiving those I love the most because I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint them.”
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Yeah, that sure sounds like pride to us.
Anyway, don’t worry about Teddy Boy – most of the 30 million Evangelicals Haggard called his own when he was still president of National Association of Evangelicals are a forgiving people. We’re sure that once Haggard comes crawling back begging for salvation from his inner self, he’ll be right back on the pulpit from which he’s preached so much anti-homo balderdash. (Will James Dobson lead the pack?)
We have to admit, we’d prefer if he’d use his even-broader fame for good, not evil, i.e. calling homosexuality repulsive. Sure, we may feel a little bad for the guy, but we’re not feeling especially merciful this morning.
What do you think, cheery-eyed readers? Should Haggard be forgiven?
(By the way, we love this picture of Haggard preaching in Honolulu. He wants it all over his face. If you’re as sick as we are, you’ll notice the microphone looks a bit suspect, as well.)
cullan
As “they” have so often said, “you reap what you sew.” Zealots aren’t usually a forgiving bunch; their sanity hangs too much by a tenuous thread to see things rationally. That’s why they’re zealots. It’s kharma time for this guy, sadly. Hope he learns a good lesson from it all.
Rev. Paul L. Hershey
This is sad, sad . No one profits from this
Derek
That’s right. And evangelicals are all about profits.
Ryan
I believe in the power of forgiving, but it must come with the fact that the people who did wrong attempt to either undo the damage or otherwise make up for it somehow.
If Haggard comes to some sort of epiphany and starts to try to get evangelicals to change, telling them that it’s just a fact of life some people are gay and can’t do anything about it (so it’s best to accept them), then yes, I could forgive him. However, I won’t hold my breath.
He was a weasle for almost his entire life. Life-long weasles tend not to change. I hope I’m wrong.
westvill
Haggard doesn’t need forgiveness from his fellow parishioners, he needs acceptance.
He should be seeking forgiveness from the gay community for vociferously standing contrary to gay rights all the while enjoying the fruits of gay life.
Kevin
I think eventually he’ll come out. I actually think this is a good thing. Millions of people who would ignore gay people will see the coming out process. They saw the hiding, now the self-hate, and soon the attempt to “fix” it. Dobson and his folks will alienate him and he’ll come out. Whether that’s in a week or month or year I don’t know.
dbb
I do admit I’ve been loving watching this story unfold, and I have been chuckling at the whole thing.
That being said, I think the gay religious leaders as well as our Nat’l rights Groups (HRC & others) seem to be missing an oportunity to reach out to this man. Over all think of the message this could have to our gay youth that our trying to hide in the evangelical movement if they had role model of someone that messed up thier life but then came out and repudiated the teachings of the far right and then became a Nat’l leader in our movement for equal rights! Sadly, I don’t think either this man or our Nat’l groups will step up.
Peter LeCornu
I just read this on a post somewhere else, but I’ll put it in my words and say there’s something pathological about wanting to be a Bible preacher.
Anyone who wants to stand up and tell others what God wants them to do, day after day, week after week, and tell them what they are supposed to be like… Well, it is just bizarre, and most of them are so screwed up, that is why they have to become preachers in the first place.
Thus one nutter after another…Bakker, Falwell, Swaggart.
I agree with Kevin, that poor Haggard is going to be forced into some elite ex-gay type program, but with what he’s already been through, and because I feel he is intelligent, and learning from his suffering, he’s going to realize at some point that he’s gay or wants to try the loving thing with men, and that it isn’t a sin. He’ll learn how to be true to himself, instead of trying to conform to standards of evangelical Christians or some idealized version of himself that he wishes he were.
From there, maybe he’ll leave the church or go on to preach at a Metropolitain Community Church.
dbb: I think just this incident, will help put some thought into the minds of some young gay kids who are stuck in this type of evangelical upbringing, make them think twice. They’ll think “Gee if Pastor Ted is gay and waiting until he’s 50 to cope with it, well, maybe I better see if I can try this a little….”
At any rate, it is better for nearly any kid today, even an evangelical one, than it was thirty or forty years ago.
Off topic: Man, the editorial director of this blog is cute, ain’t he?
bugsy
Yep, Ted we feel ya:
Every month for 3 years=36 times
$100 a gram X 36 times=$3600
$100 an outcall X 36 times=$3600
Kaching! Total=$7200
Miles to Denver and back=120 X 36 times=4320 miles on
the road
Ted, no one drives 4320 miles to flush $3600 worth
of speed and get a lil ole massage at $100 a pop, honey.
We know that’s not why your panties are still in a bunch.
bugsy
And Ted, your sin was the deceit part.
You should have been honest about your natural
feelings, told your wife, and even brought your
boyfriend to church.
You still could have been against gay marriage,
without being a hypocrite and deceiving your
congregation. It’s the lying and hypocrisy, stoopid.
Charles Vallario
For many years after my mother left the Catholic Churh to become a protestant so that she could take the pill I suffered through hell and back because of the protestant stupidity though I knew of some pastors that were gay and had seduced me and other stuff like that but she would not understand. This is about hipocrisy like when the Mormons got a revelation that black people were equal (around the time they were going to be investigated) and here in Virginia some people gave me an ugly look when I told them this marriage thing is going to backfire as the Gus Boulos murder in Florida. The right wing protestants and the Cuban establishment that supports the Bush people must have been on it and now they are reaping their reward. And lo and behold 2 days later a Halloween surprise. We shall overcome, it took sometime after Stonewall but we got there. And we will be going into Valhalla, not Paradisel As Moctezuma said when he was being impailed by the Spaniards, if this is what the God of the Christians does, then I don’t want to go to his heaven.