Anti-Gay NV Gov. Jim Gibbons Can’t Be Guilty of Sexual Assault, ‘Cause He Hasn’t Had Sex In 15 Years

Nevada’s douchey governor, the Republican Jim Gibbons, in May vetoed a bill that would’ve granted the state’s gays domestic partnerships rights. (The following month, lawmakers overrode it.) The move made us suddenly interested in the personal life of this public figure, because anyone who legislates against our rights opens themselves up to a combing for hypocrisy. Like how Gibbons, supposedly respecting the institution of marriage, stands accused by his own wife of two affairs. And that doesn’t include the cocktail waitress Chrissy Mazzeo, whose civil suit against the governor had him delivering a court deposition earlier this month … about how he hasn’t had sex in 15 years.

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His dry spell was his defense: He couldn’t have sexually assaulted waitress Chrissy Mazzeo in 2006, as she claims in a federal civil suit, because he hasn’t inserted his penis into another human being in 15 years.

Which, actually, isn’t that great a defense; Mazzeo claims he (“only”) groped her in a parking lot after getting boozed up at a restaurant.

How about we take this to the next level?

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In his sworn deposition, Gibbons was asked if he was, in fact, a happily married man in 2006 and answered yes. But elsewhere in the testimony, Gibbons told Kossack his marriage to Dawn was “strained.”

When asked about his sex life, Gibbons said there had been no intimacy with his wife or any other woman since 1995, adding the comment, “I’m living proof that you can survive without sex for that long.”

Gibbons testified that he had never been unfaithful to his wife and specifically denied having sexual relations with two women linked to him in media accounts — Leslie Sferraza Durant, the ex-Playboy model who accompanied Gibbons to a Reno rodeo and has been seen with him at various restaurants and Kathy Karrasch, the married woman who exchanged hundreds of late night text messages with Gibbons.

And:

Other things the Governor denied during the deposition: he didn’t play footsie with Chrissy Mazzeo on the night of the alleged assault, because he was wearing cowboy boots, and he didn’t tell her any raunchy jokes, because he isn’t a good joke teller.

This is the most delicious defense since Larry Craig’s “wide stance,” AMIRIGHT?

[CBS] [Las Vegas Now]