Matt R. Salmon, the gay son of antigay Arizona Congressman Matt Salmon, tells Anderson Cooper he still has a loving relationship with his parents and says, “I couldn’t expect my parents to fully accept me unless I accept them in their views.”
The younger Salmon stopped by Anderson Cooper 360 says he hopes his father changes his position. I hope to get married some day and I hope I have his support,” he adds.
He also shares that he helped proofread a constitutional amendment written in part by his mother that stated marriage is between a man and a woman because he was going through reparative therapy at the time and hoped to change to straight. “For me, it wasn’t really an issue,” says.
Asked by Cooper about a message for other young people whose conservative families don’t support their sexual orientation, Salmon says his family is a great example.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
“My big hope is that people can look at my relationship with my parents and see that families can be conservative and have gay members and it doesn’t have to be this big ordeal. It doesn’t have to be fights and anger and hatred,” he says.
Salmon also reveals that he’d have no problem introducing his family to a boyfriend and that he thinks they’d be OK with meeting him.
RSun
“No big ordeal” as long as you accept that your family actively sabotages your dignity and self worth. My parents are also conservative, but they would never treat me this way. Hopefully with a bit more life experience and maturity, he will come to his senses.
balehead
He’s talking to Anderson Cooper to save his Dad’s seat and promote his own self-loathing….And Anderson Cooper is just sitting there…
miniskull
I just don’t understand how this young couldn’t see how his parents’ view is affecting his own personal happiness, let’s alone others’. His parents won’t accept his future marriage, they won’t give him and his partner their blessing, and when in case something happened to him, his partner would be left out of the picture completely. These parents can’t claim they love their children, because they still see their sons as defunct as doesn’t deserve equal rights as other kids in the family. What kind of family is that? How could you selfishly force what you believe in your own children?
erikwm
This is like Stockholm Syndrome and Battered Woman Syndrome. Despite his parents desire to harm him, he continues to express empathy and sympathy for them.
No one has to accept abuse to be loved. His parents choose to harm him. His sexual orientation is a state of being. There is NO comparison.
What a sad and pathetic situation.
c_hay
@erikwm: I totally agree. I was just about to post this was Stockholm Syndrome. The fact that he even chose to put himself through reparative therapy speaks volumes. I wonder how much influence of his parents he was under when he partook in that. Very sad. And whats worse is anti-gay people are going to hear this and agree with it, so he is also helping make young gays with un accepting parents situation even worse. Very sad. Some people just should not be parents. I feel if you cant accept a gay child you shouldn’t have kids, because there is always a chance they may be gay.
Eric Auerbach
Gay Uncle Tom.
Cam
This is nothing we haven’t seen before. This pathetic gay Stockholm Syndrome victim or worse yet a gay Uncle Tom is more concerned about whether or not his bigoted daddy will talk to him than about the fact that his father has long been known to be horribly anti-gay and dangerous to the community.
Fuck both of them.
2eo
What a completely horrible existence. Only a matter of time before he’s another statistic. Sad to see, so sad, it’s 2013.
sirald66
I understand the love he is sharing and reaching for, but his father’s love is disingenuous; it is prescribed by his book of mormon – not by his heart.
I’m afraid young Matt will one day find himself used and betrayed by his father and realize he was valued as much as a faceless constituent.
What he needs is a larger gay-friendly family outside his birth family. Then he can feel full in himself and accept what he will of his father on his own terms.
Jen
@balehead:
The problem is that CNN only posted half of the interview. I saw it live and it was almost 8 minutes long. He asked him about reparative “therapy”, which he choose to go through (of course back then he thought he needed to change due to the social environment he lives in), and it turns out it made him more confident in dealing with men. It had the reverse effect on him and enabled him to meet more guys. XD Anderson said his doctor was probably spitting his coffee right now. I can only assume CNN didn’t post this part because it looked like Anderson and Matt were flirting.
He also told Anderson that he doesn’t want to change anymore, is happy to be gay and has accepted himself.
You guys need to be more tolerant. Matt choose the path of staying close to his family and hoping that bit by bit they will change their minds. The other option would be to not even try and disconnect from them. I’m glad for him that at least they can work around this and still love each other. This is like an atheist still someone managing to maintain a loving relationship with his very religious family. Life is not black and white and love requires a lot of work and compromises.
gaymaniac
He needs to get lost ASAP. We heard enough of this ‘GOProud’ nonsense. Self-hating id***s who continue to talk about supporting this party because of their other conservative values. The Republicans push for FEDERAL BAN on same-sex marriage, they block anti-discrimination legislation in every state they have the control over. Mr. Salmon can take his ‘my family is awsome’-BS and walk off. The party of his father is not only against marriage equality, they actively try to reverse the little the rest of us were able to push through. I don’t believe anything that comes from the right gay-values coalition. These people are spineless, closeted and frankly, when it comes to the policy of it-they and their groups are useless. Obvious by the fact, that they support the Republican platform and the failed Romney/RYAN ticket.
Jen
@2eo:
Wow, intolerant, self-righteous and judgemental much? Or just jealous that he someone manages to arrange himself with his family despite their diffent opinions on the matter and still maintain a loving relationship with them?
He said he doesn’t want to change, loves being gay and accepts himself. Unlike you, doesn’t sound to me like he lives an unhappy, bitter and sad existence. In fact, sounds to me like a very strong-minded, healthy young man.
tdx3fan
Anyone willing to date this nut case needs just as much help as he does! If he does not feel at odds with his parents then why did he go through reparative therapy!?! Seriously, the only way this kid will make it past 40 is if he runs as far away from his family as he possibly can. Look to see this, sad to say, make news in about 5 years or so for a tragic suicide or suicide murder.
tdx3fan
@Jen: With all due respect… you have as much right to weigh in here as I do to tell you what to do with your reproductive rights. Even if you are a lesbian you have no clue what it is like to be a gay male. There is no group that is more vilified or persecuted, and the only reason anyone would choose to try to change themselves (which he is till trying to do by adhering to this self-hatred and has even went to therapy to do) is if your parents failed to teach you to love and accept yourself for who you are.
Little-Kiwi
http://youtu.be/Ya8-ECHxMPQ
Little-Kiwi
@Jen: then you dont’ know what Love is. because what the Salmon’s are doing is not loving their son, they’re almost-tolerating him.
tdx3fan
@gaymaniac: …and in most cases the only real reason that they are clinging to this stupidity is because they want to get Mommy and Daddy’s money when Mommy and Daddy die. Then, when Mommy and Daddy leaves their money to NOM they are actually surprised.
Little-Kiwi
@Jen: except, you’re wrong.
Matt needs to accept his parent’s prejudice and bigotry to be tolerated. This is why they won’t change. Their son hasnt given them a reason not to.
matt clearly believes his family doesn’t love him enough to put that love to the test.
“Choose ME or your prejudices”
parents that love their kids will choose their kids. The Salmons choose prejudice.
2eo
@Jen: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Hahahahahahahahaha.
Wait wait.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Hang on I’m coming arouhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
That’s the most diuretic troglodytic drivel I’ve ever seen, me judgmental for feeling that someone who has been trodden into the ground and clearly resents his whole life is likely to kill himself?, I’m intolerant for thinking the fellow deserves better from his family?
Halfwit, you don’t even deserve a rebuttal, the whole point is about the most moronic thing I’ve ever read on this site, and I’ve been harassed by Avenger.
Wait, second wind
Hahahahahahahahaha.
Eric Auerbach
@Little-Kiwi: Ugh, stop posting your stupid video.
RSun
@Jen: It’s one thing to to agree to disagree, but his family is directly and unapologetically undermining his well-being. Without setting higher relationship expectations his family will never “evolve.” Why would they? By accepting their despicable behaviour, he is setting the basis for all future interaction. Very sad, but hopefully in time he will realize he deserves more respect from those who claim to love him.
Jen
@tdx3fan:
Oh please, don’t give me that. I’ve got a gay brother and do you think I am that incapable of empathy to be unable to understand what is going on in his mind? He thought he could become straight (and yes, that was due to the way he way brought up. In a less religious environment he wouldn’t have had to go through that). He obviously realised this is bs and has learned to accept himself.
Now I might not be gay but I am an atheist. My father’s side of the family is extremely religious. I have the same problem as Matt. I could either disassociate myself from them because some of their beliefs are clearly anti-me (I’m going to hell, I’m a sinner, blabla) or I could compromise, maintain a loving relationship based on the things that connect us and try to change their minds bit by bit. And no, I am not self-loathing, I like myself and am very confident in my atheism.
My brother on the other hand has the same problem as Matt and also the same attitude when it comes to his relationship with my father’s family, only that luckily in my country the religious don’t have much power and reparative “therapy” is banned.
Little-Kiwi
@Eric Auerbach: do you have a specific objection to the content? if so, feel free to share your own family’s advice in dealing with situations like the Salmon’s.
🙂
Jen
@Little-Kiwi:
You seem to think that love is an either/or issue. You seem to think that because we only tolerate one aspect of someone we can’t love them. I haven’t heard something that silly in a long time.
Jen
@Little-Kiwi:
Are you saying that being a proud and out gay man and willing to bring his future boyfriend home is not testing his family’s tolerance?
Little-Kiwi
actually, jen, it’s because I was raised better. and i know what love is.
if Salmon Jr believed his parents actually loved him, he’d stand up for himself. why doesn’t he? because he fears that if he does he’ll be denied their love. what’s sad? he’s already being denied it. he’s not accepted, he’s tolerated. and that’s not love.
when you actively contribute to a culture of prejudice that makes life for people like your own son WORSE you prove that your “love” for them is simply not as strong as your love for your religious and/or political opinions.
of course it seems silly to you. i come from a family that actually loves with open hearts, open minds, and works to end cultural prejudice.
balehead
Just more Log Cabin Republican Camouflage …….to save their seats….
Little-Kiwi
@Jen: he’s not proud, he’s just Out. Proud gay men don’t act like spineless doormats and let anti-gay bigots control them.
it’s like GOProud – they’re not proud. if they were proud they would defy bigotry and prejudice and call it what it is.
“future boyfriend” – as in, maybe he’ll have one one day. yes, lovely hypotheticals.
Jen
@2eo:
Wow, please take you meds. You come across as seriously unhinged.
“someone who has been trodden into the ground and clearly resents his whole life is likely to kill himself”
Sounds like you are talking about yourself. XD Man, you are doing some serious projecting here. Maybe that is what you WISH he was and it must really bother you that he is clearly happy and accepts himself. So yes, intolerant, self-righteous and judgmental. You are just making wild assumptions based on what seems to be a very close-minded view of the world.
Little-Kiwi
@balehead: EXACTLY
Little-Kiwi
@Jen: you show me a gay man who is happy that his parents don’t think he should be allowed to marry or adopt children and i’ll show you a unicorn.
he only “seems” happy because his father went from an abominable bigot of a father to a mediocre excuse for a father.
he seems happy because he was treated worse. he’s not being treated well now. he’s just being treated “not as bad as before” – this is what Gay republicans deal with.
from outright hate, to pithy tolerance. and in their sad state they feast on scraps.
like i said earlier, they think only of “how bad it was before” to think that where they are now is GOOD. but it’s not.
dont’ compare the Salmons to families that beat and disown their gay kids. compare the Salmons to families that acutally love and champion their LGBT kids.
what Salmon is doing is like comparing his failed grades to the grades of the kids in special ed. “But look how much smarter I am compared to THOSE kids!”
FAIL.
erikwm
@Jen: Your comparison to religion is nonsensical. Religion is opinion. Your choose what to believe. Sexual orientation is a physiological state of being. Your opinion doesn’t effect it. They aren’t the same in any way, shape, or form.
A more apt comparison would be a father who verbally abuses and rejects his daughter because he wanted a son instead.
No one has to accept abuse to be loved.
Jen
@tdx3fan:
CNN didn’t post the whole interview. He went through “therapy” because at that time (when he was 18) he thought he needed to change and actually believed it would make him straight. He had not accepted himself and fully agreed with his parents. He said he doesn’t regret therapy because ironically it made him more confident in interacting with and meeting guys. Anderson said his doctor probably just spit his coffee.
Little-Kiwi
@erikwm: THANK YOU!
i’ve said before, to people who are apologizing for the Salmons the way their son is:
what would you do if every time you saw your parents they slapped you in the face?
would you keep showing up, hoping that maybe next time they won’t hit you?
would you take a stand, do something about it, and let them know that you’ll no longer tolerate their abuse?
why, then, are people so willing to swallow up emotional and psychological abuse?
because it IS abuse.
and look what it reduces a human being to: a spineless doormat who’s been so whipped by his families prejudice that a shift from outright hatred to sorta-tolerance is mistaken for “love”
Jen
@erikwm:
Are you saying I choose to bit believe in god(s). Utter nonsense. If I could choose I would have long ago because it makes dealing with the loss of loved ones so much easier. I simply can’t. And my father’s family was indoctrinated into this. The only choice they could make was to subject themselves to information that might make them doubt their belief but sadly their religion is deeply ingrained into them since early childhood.
And I don’t accept verbal abuse (and I consider telling a child “you are going to hell” verbal abuse) nor do they accept my mockery. We are having an ungoing coversation about it but that doesn’t mean outside of that that we don’t love each other. This is a compromise and process at work. I’m not going to disassociate from my family just because they have a problem with my lack of belief. And if you think this is less fundamentally important to them than being gay is to so, you are just being ignorant. It is a HUGE issue for them. They love me and truely believe I am going to burn in hell.
Matt’s parents are not that different. Though I don’t see how you can assume they verbally abuse him. They seem to be pretty relaxed about the whole thing within their family.
northwest
balehead is correct and that’s what pissed me off most about this interview.
Little-Kiwi
if you can’t tell, Jen, how parents working actively to promote prejudice and discrimination against their own son is “abuse” them i’m right – you have no idea what love actually is.
Jen
@Little-Kiwi:
He’s taking a different approach. What exactely would you consider to be “standing up for himself”? Disassociating from his family and campaigning against his parents, I guess? Well, take a guess at his chances to change his dad’s mind on the issue if he did that. And then think for a minute about his chances to change his mind bit by bit if his dad gets to see the son he loves to life a happy life, find a partner and so forth.
Dionte
I feel sorry for him, I blame the parents in his situation. That father has a seat in hell.
Little-Kiwi
http://youtu.be/2R6jqMysHaA
Little-Kiwi
GOProud – tolerated as long as they “aren;t like those stereotypical gays”
that’s not love, it’s not even acceptance. it’s TOLERANCE, granted on condition.
this is what gay republicans aim for because they don’t have the spines to fight for what gay liberals achieve. which is actual love and solidarity.
Little-Kiwi
@Jen: more than a decade of outreach work with LGBT Families proves me right, and you wrong.
when you accept prejudice, you give the oppressor no reason to change.
when you defy it, you make them realize that they can’t have it both ways: they can choose to work against LGBT people, or they can have a relationship with their son.
Matt Jr knows his parents won’t choose him.
sorry – i speak from actual working experience for more than 10 years. you need to write less and read more.
tookietookie
I am from the same state and religion that the Salmons are. It’s a stew of right-wing hate and oppression there like a blast furnace. I have straight family members there who are ostracized and treated cruelly in their community because they moderated their views and publicly say they love me and are proud of me.
I agree Salmon, Jr. is Stockholm Syndrome and that this guy is a product of abuse. What I’m trying to add is that, like with the Romney campaign, well-intentioned open-minded people shouldn’t be too quick to defend bigots and puppets who speak for bigots because of misguided principle or a false sense of identification with the icing layer on the poop cake that they’re selling.
I’d think there were more relevant people to interview than this puppet.
tookietookie
edit – I meant ‘has’ Stockholm Syndrome
lab
he has a boyfriend in an even worse situation…his parents haven’t seen their son and refuse to meet salmon…salmon said he WOULD introduce his boyfriend which says they have not met him…both young men are log cabin nutjobs and salmon went through treatment to become straight. NOTHING about these kids relationship with their parents is remotely healthy
Little-Kiwi
Jen, you’re proven wrong by the reality that Matt’s way of doing things hasn’t resulted in anyting good.
yay, he’s not being forced into reparative therapy anymore!
his tactics aren’t working. time for new ones.
i say what i say because i’ve seen how it gets actual results, for more than a decade.
when you make it clear that for a relationship to exist there needs to be no more active working against you, you get results. when you sit there offering up your face to be slapped, you give the abuser no reason to stop hitting you.
Little-Kiwi
dear gay republicans, take a good look and the lives and actions of gay liberals, and our successes with getting our straight families and friends on board to support Equality.
now look at how what you’ve done hasn’t resulted in the same thing.
realize your way isnt’ working, and ours is.
when you don’t respect yourself, nobody else will respect you either.
2eo
Can we keep poking Jen, she’s close to a meltdown and given what she’s already said it could be epic.
Jen
@Little-Kiwi:
Hm, lets see. My brother? My father is against gay marriage. Yet my brother is happy, in a great relationship and married. And that particular opinion of my father is one thing that devides them while 99% connects them. My father even likes my brother’s hubby. Yes, people can be that contradictory in their beliefs and how they apply this to real life.
The point I am trying to make is that you make the assumption that this one thing that devides them is enough to ruin my brother’s life and make him unhappy. As if his happiness depended on my father’s silly attitude towards gay marriage. It’s not ideal, but there are ways to work around it. Just because you feel you would be unable to, doesn’t mean that others are as weak as you.
You know what’s occasionally making my brother unhappy? Random homophobia from strangers. Because while my father’s opinions might be influenced by religious nonsense they also exist in some kind of strange religious parallel universe. In this world he would take a bullet for my brother.
Hansolo
Clearly the guy needs to work through his own gay issues. I mean reparative therapy…really. Any parent willing to put their child through that does not know the meaning of parenting or love.
Kieran
This is kind of like of the late Strom Thurmond. He “loved” his black daughter, but that didn’t change his mind that blacks should be able to eat at “Whites Only” lunch counters.
MK Ultra
Taxes, foreign policy, health care, education, etc…
Those are things people have different opinions on.
But to say to your own flesh and blood “I reject this important part of the essence of your being and I want you barred from full rights and I want you treated much worse than everbody else and I want your life to be that much harder, stressful, and painful. But!!!!… I ‘tolerate’ you”.
Hopefully his family will see the light soon. Hopefully Matt will too.
I hope a day will come soon when LGBT realize we don’t need to beg bigots for scraps of “tolerance”. That we deserve respect, love, acceptance, and dignity.
Little-Kiwi
it’s that i feel i would be unable to, Jen, it’s that i was lucky enough to be raised by people who actually love value their children – through that, i’m able to see the mental abuse and ignorance you guys are passing off as “different opinions”
so your dad would take a bullet for your brother, but not support and champion his right to marry?
wow. im so sorry for your life, Jen. your family sound like complete pieces of s**t.
as weak as me, eh? i’m pretty darn, Out, Loud, proud and have been an advocate for LGBT Equality since i was a teen.
if your brother had an ounce of my strength and stood up for to your bigot of a father, he might have come around by now.
erikwm
@Jen: Atheism and theism are both beliefs. Believing there is no God is opinion, just as believing there is a God — or 10 — is opinion. Whether or not there is a higher power behind creation is unknowable.
Comparing your religion to sexual orientation is as ludicrous as if I compared my political beliefs to your gender. Opinion is not comparable to a physiological state.
Jen
@2eo:
Meltdown? You mean, to quote you, like that?
“Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Hahahahahahahahaha.
Wait wait.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Hang on I’m coming arouhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.”
And that from the guy who thinks Matt “has been trodden into the ground and clearly resents his whole life is likely to kill himself.” XD You might want to inform him about this because his positive attitude seems to prevent him from realising that he is actually unhappy and suicidal. So he might appreciate the news. After all you would know better what is going on in his mind than you? 🙂
Jen
@erikwm:
*facepalm* Atheism is a lack of belief. That’s it. One is also an atheist as a baby or in total absense of knowledge of the existence of religious beliefs. It’s not an opinion, it’s a state of mind. Amazing how even a seemingly openminded person will resort to such a straw man to avoid acknowledging that those are comparable situations.
Does it even occur to you that you are playing down the issue? You can’t choose disbelief or belief, but if you could (what you seem to think), are you saying the issue is not as serious because in theory my father could choose not to believe or I could choose to believe, problem solved? Let aside we can’t, it is still the same type of problem and the same kind of compromise to make in order to maintain a loving relationship and focus on the things that connect us whole making baby steps towards each other regarding religion/atheism.
Jen
@Hansolo:
He has. They talked about that in the second half of the interview that CNN sadly did not post. He even used the “therapy” to get more confortable around men. XD Talk about karma.
erikwm
@Jen: I don’t agree.
Agnosticism is a lack of belief. Atheism is purposefully believing when we die the whole of our creation ceases to exist.
I am an agnostic. You are an atheist. They’re not the same.
I have no opinion on what happens when we die. I am comfortable simply saying — I don’t know.
erikwm
@Jen: To respond to your second paragraph — I’m saying your disagreement over belief is not as meaningful as being rejected on the basis of a physiological state.
Religion is like politics. Sexual orientation is like gender. There is no overlap.
Dresden
@Jen: I resent your implication that it’s at all possible to equate being gay with choosing a different belief system than your parents… you may be empathetic towards gay people, but you sure as hell don’t understand how it feels to be one. Nor do you have any right to come here and criticize 2eo or anyone else for that matter… you wouldn’t see me going to an atheist blog and telling people off for expressing their opinions.
RSun
@erikwm: @Jen: Jen doesn’t get it, and that’s ok. We each have different standards of what behaviour we will or will not accept in our lives. Personally, I only accept attitudes and ESPECIALLY actions of support and respect.
RSun
@Dresden:.@Jen: It’s interesting, isnt’ it, how even our supporters don’t always understand the difference between choice and inherent traits. However, just because they don’t always get it, doesn’t mean that they are our enemies. It just means that they need a bit more information to understand better.
Jen – I have two sisters who whole-heartedly support and love me (and my partner) and I am glad that your brother has you in his life.
2eo
@Dresden: I don’t mind, I’ve found it funny. I’m just sat at work on a saturday night adding some DDoS redundancy to some of our machines, needless to say it’s ridiculously dull. Entertainment like this doesn’t come very often.
Cee
He’s delusional in saying that he thinks his parents would be okay with him introducing his boyfriend to them. He needs a wake up call. His parents are bigots.
It has to suck being in that situation. I feel sorry for him.
I wish I had his money, but I don’t want his life.
tdx3fan
@Jen: When they start killing atheist again just because they are atheist then you can start talking about how you are so persecuted. Besides, atheism is a choice… totally different. Also, there is no way you can truly know what your brother or any other gay guy goes through unless you are one.
Also, love is unconditional. Either you love someone or you do not. There is not a bunch of conditions applied. This kid obviously feels his family does not love who he actually is…. so much so that he wants to change who he actually is and has made attempts to do so in the past.
Also, anyone that would actually date this guy is most likely just like them. Hence my comment about a murder-suicide.
tdx3fan
Oh, and if this dude had a chance in hell of actually passing for straight, I bet he would not even be out… he would still be pretending to be straight!
tdx3fan
@Jen: He can SAY whatever he wants. This is where you never actually being here comes into play. As someone that spent most of my youth wanting to be straight in order to please my parents, I can guarantee you that the driving force behind that “therapy” was his parents. He can claim it left him feeling better… However, since every credible study and every credible organization disagrees with that result, I have to wonder what he is really like when the camera is off.
You saw him for 8 minutes and you suddenly know his exact motions and feelings!?! What you see is what you want to see, and its got more to do with your own messed up family and your poor brother.
tdx3fan
@Jen: One of the earliest things I remember from my childhood was my father telling me that AIDS was God’s cure… I grew up realizing my parents were homophobes and that they truly hated all gays, including myself. I would have gladly done anything to change to straight. Eventually, I got some balls and threw both of my parents out of my life so that I could truly be happy (which I truly am now). My father eventually started to come around after it was to late. Now I see him twice a year, and I am a very happy and content person because the people that are in my life actually love me for being me. Nothing else made me happy.
My case is the typical example throughout the entire nation. So, please believe me when I tell you this kid is not happy (even if he can claim he is for 8 minutes) and that you have no place in this discussion because you have no clue what it is like to be hated simply for who you are by those that CLAIM to love you.
Dresden
@tdx3fan: Loving someone unconditionally doesn’t mean that you must accept all of your loved one’s actions or choices in life, but you must love who they are sans conditions. The trouble is that most anti-gay douche bags honestly think that sexual orientation is a choice and not a part of who you are. That way they can claim they love you unconditionally. I can understand why a gay person, being faced with the realization that their own parents feel this way about them, would seize onto that very same way of thinking in order to spare themselves the pain of accepting the truth. This doesn’t make them bad people… just human. For someone to have the gall to come here and start calling someone who knows the score intolerant, self-righteous, judgmental and unhinged for calling it the way it is just gets my panties in a bunch.
@2eo: I hope you understand that I wasn’t sticking up for you specifically.
RSun
@tdx3fan: I grew up hearing anti-gay comments from my father and other family members. I fought my feelings and attractions for so long trying not to be what I thought they despised. When I came out, the first thing my father said was that he sometimes said things he didn’t mean (which was his way of apologizing).
While he isn’t the type of man who would march for my rights (or anyone else’s), he wouldn’t do anything to intentionally harm me either (unlike Matt Salmon’s father).
This story hits so close to home for many of us…we’ve lived it.
chris89
I’m sorry… What have you done to help this struggling member of our community? “Sad and pathetic,” maybe, but please… nonconstructive and irrelevant statements to the left.
You queens need to learn something about compassion, understanding, and empathy, especially for those in our community. Judgements do nothing for this man who is obviously mislead, lost, and confused. &BITCH, who invited your judgements???
🙂
DOFEK
REPUBLICAN SHOULD BE KILLED NOT HEARD!!. AdamHomo
Cam
@Jen:
Hey Jen, take your self indulgent fantasies and get the fuck out. Tolerating a bigot isn’t being tolerant, it is advocating and supporting their bigotry. So point your little smarmy judgmental ass at your own mirror.
As for you having a gay brother. I feel sorry for him having a sister that knows so little about his reality.
Cam
@chris89: said….”” who invited your judgements???””
____________________
I would say that appearing on TV is pretty much opening himself up for judgement.
thrutch
I agree with Jen, relationships are complicated and its hard to seperate yourself. You slowly can change them, my dad used to think gay people weren’t human. Hes not convivnced on marriage yet, but he acknowledges our humanity now. I don’t toelrate him, I call him on his crap, his hurtful words and than we move on to things we can agree about. I won’t give up my family cause they don’t support me the way i’d like, I didnt give up on my brother when he was a drunk, and I will hope to change his mind and have him at my wedding one day.
2eo
@thrutch: Don’t know why you needed a second account Jen, you were doing well with yours, you were hilarious.
tdx3fan
@Jen: Your brother and his husband are the truly week ones. Seriously, if my father was against my right to get married, I would cut him out of my life… Oh wait, I already have, and that makes me stronger not weaker.
Also, there is a big difference between your father who might not like marriage equality and keeps that to himself and Salmon who works actively to prevent gay marriage. BIG DIFFERENCE. When your dad starts making laws to help keep your brother and his husband apart then you can make the same comparison.
tdx3fan
@RSun: When I came out to my mother we got in a huge fight and I lived in my car on a college campus (because at lest they had security) for a week with no money left. After that, I got my college to advance me a student loan as long as I was in class (which they let me enroll in 2 weeks late because the professors allowed it). Then I lived in the dorms for 2 weeks. Then my mother wanted me to come home, so I did… Things really never got much better.
My father told me that he knew something was WRONG and that he never wanted to discuss it again. He came around a little bit when I met my partner, but the last time I had a real conversation with him alone he mentioned this girl that was my age and single (I have been in a relationship with my partner for 3 years).
In short, I had the courage to remove emotional ties to both of my parents, and I have NEVER been happier.
tdx3fan
@chris89: I have compassion and sympathy for those that will now suffer even more at the hands of their parents because this guy claims that it is possible to have a relationship with your parents even though they hate who you are. I have even more compassion for those that buy his hype and attempt to keep their parents around long after they are more of a burden than a necessity because this guy did that. I even have sympathy and compassion for him, but you can be damned sure I’m going to judge his actions on national television when he is making claims that will undoubtedly hurt others.
alexoloughlin
And you can bet his parents are staunch god botherers! End of.
Little-Kiwi
his family DOES set a great example. a great example of how religious and cultural bigotry can reduce a grown man to nothing more than a wimpy doormat and how a family withholding their love and acceptance of their son can turn him into a groveling beggar, feasting on scraps.
the Salmons are failures as far as families go.
RSun
@Little-Kiwi: EXACTLY!
RSun
@tdx3fan: It’s too bad it had to come to that, but sometimes it is necessary. It’s harder to cut toxic people out of your life when they are family…courage indeed!
LaTeesha
Proving that some gay people are as stupid as some straight people. And what idiot would have sex with this freak-a-tard.
Little-Kiwi
think of it this way: dad beats son. dad encourages others to beat his son.
dad stops beating his son but still encourages others to be his son.
son: “yay! my dad loves me!”
no. not really.
RSun
@Little-Kiwi: Great analogy.
Wilberforce
I see this as an issue of what the AA people call tough love. When someone is intolerable, either a boozer or a bigot or whatever, you have to cut them off, and you have to explain to them why. It’s the only way you can help them change.
rextrek
shame the kid MUST NEED daddy’s $$$$$ – that and the Stockholme syndrom….and Mormonism…..
chris89
@tdx3fan: “i will judge”
thank you for judging.