I’ve had acquaintances who assume that just because I’m queer it means that I live a scandalous life full of nonstop seduction, rich desserts, political subversion, and the occasional drag. And while that’s says a lot more about them than it does about actual queers, I can’t help but find their characterization of our lives amusing, partially flattering, strangely homophobic, and not at all accurate. I’m typing this, alone, clad in dingy Hanes briefs, and eating a stale turkey sandwich, reminded of the simple joys of living like the boring straights do. That being said, after seeing this video, I want to be a lesbian very very badly; especially if it means bucking male authority, haunting straight women’s dreams, and unravelling the closely-guarded mysteries of the clitoris. That’d be a nice change of pace worth changing underwear for.