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Are Gay Affairs Awesome or Awful?

gavinrossdaleDid you hear the one about the upcoming summer blockbuster heartthrob who has a clause in his deal that allows the studio to dump him if he comes out? Or how about the one about the world-famous singer who celebrates his concerts with all-boy after parties? Everywhere you look, there’s a new “Is he or isn’t he” rumor. This week, British singer Marilyn admitted to a five year-love affair with Gwen Stefani’s hubbie, Gavin Rossdale. A new documentary promises to prove once and for all that Florida Governor Charlie Christ is gay. And heck, Hugh Jackman just loves the gay rumors. But is it “coming out” when you’re dragged kicking and screaming out of the closet?

Here’s a real story, with the details removed for privacy. A few years back, while casting a tent pole action blockbuster, the studio in charge discovered that it’s lead was a big ‘mo. They went to him and said essentially, “Look, we need to know you aren’t going to come out. We can get you dates with a girl for public appearances, but you can not possibly come out.” He refused and was dropped from the project like a hot potato.

Why haven’t you heard this story? Because the actor in question wanted a career. It’s easy to think of the Hollywood closet as some relic of the past, but it’s alive and kicking. Gays and lesbians who come out, do it at enormous professional risks and unlike many other industries, there is no such thing as “employment nondiscrimination” in Tinseltown, whose very existence is about being discriminating.

So, when a celebrity chooses his career over his sexuality, do we blame them? For the most part, it seems we take each outing as a ‘victory’. “Aha! I knew you were gay!” we shout and feel vindicated, but let’s put it this way– How many of you have gone out and bought a Clay Aiken album since he came out of the closet?

Bruce Vilanch, a constant source of wisdom told me once that we should ask ourselves why we would want to include somebody who doesn’t want to be a part of our group? He has a point. Shouldn’t we want willing allies? Certainly, of you go out to a gay club or walk hand in had with your boyfriend in the park, you’re opening the door to talking about it. After all, we don’t want to encourage any more celebrities to do the “Yup, I’m Gay” story in People (which always makes the celeb in question seem like they think we should throw them a fucking parade), but how different is it when we tell a celebrity, “Oh my god, you’re totally gay!” from the annoying guy in high school who taunted us with the same remark?

So, tell us– do celebs deserve to be yanked out of the closet or is it a personal decision? Do you have any personal ethics of outing people in your own life?

By:           Japhy Grant
On:           Apr 23, 2009
Tagged: , , , ,

  • 71 Comments
    • Bruno
      Bruno

      The music & film industries (among many others obviously) are horrible in what they get away with regarding their actors’ sexuality. Frankly I’m surprised no one in the industry has tried to make a discrimination case out of it yet.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 6:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Gay Numbers
      The Gay Numbers

      Homo hating politicians yes. Celebs no. One can harm my life. One can not.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 6:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chitown Kev
      Chitown Kev

      @The Gay Numbers:

      GN, even a closetedcelebrity that uses homophobia to advance their career, out the bitches.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 6:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alexa
      Alexa

      @Chitown Kev: But what about the ones that don’t? Some of the hate and ridicule still thrown Clay’s way despite him coming out last year makes me wonder why any gay celebrity would want to come out. Why would a singer with a large conservative fanbase, a sports star with a straight male fanbase, or an actor who is a heartthrob/action star, risk their careers if many in the gay community are going to berate them for not coming out sooner? It’s all very well saying the visibility helps us, but if their careers tank and they disappear, what help is that? We should encourage and support anyone who comes out, not throw stones because they didn’t come out on our schedule.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 7:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Aaron
      Aaron

      Hmm…I wonder who that blockbuster actor is? Any ideas? Oh, I hope its Hugh Jackman. *dreaming*

      Apr 23, 2009 at 7:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alec
      Alec

      Governor Crist is a completely different matter. People who campaign against gay rights are fair game.

      I think actors are a bit different, though; they’re entitled to more privacy than we give them, and whatever one thinks about their decision to remain closeted, if they’re not campaigning against gays, who the hell cares?

      Apr 23, 2009 at 8:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jonathan
      Jonathan

      Is this serious? Come on. Movie/Music/Theater typers who want to be in are, generally, inconsequential. Sure. It would be nice to have more role models (though there are quite a few already), and if they came out it would hasten the end of the celluloid closet.

      But politicians (or their families) who make political decisions that hurt LGBT rights are another matter entirely. Yes: That means you Lynn Cheney, Senator Lugar, and Senator Graham.

      Their hypocrisy deserves to be shouted from the rooftops.

      And if anyone has any doubt that Lynn Cheney is a rug muncher at heart, just google “Sisters” and read some of the juicy bits.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 8:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      The music industry is particularly homophobic towards male homosexuality. Female homosexuality – or lesbianism – gets treated far more favorably, especially if it is contextualized in terms of satisfying the fetishes of straight guys.

      Consider this question: why can’t a man sing “I Kissed a Guy” and have a number 1 hit? Because the music industry and America’s youth are homophobic towards men.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 8:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Marty
      Marty

      The Marilyn/Gavin story is far from new, Marilyn has been going on about it for years and years now, all the way back to the mid-80s when he was trying to get a career going here in America.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 9:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John Santos
      John Santos

      So, when a celebrity chooses his career over his sexuality, do we blame them?

      Yes. If IBM told their employees, “You can be gay in private, but you must be seen with girls in public.” We’d be all over them. Yet the same homophobia is accepted in Hollywood by out queers and by closeted H’wood people. The only way to stop this is to out the anti-gay people who do this.

      If these closeted actors don’t have the guts to come out and fight the system, why should they, or anyone else in Hollywood, be held up as a paragon of virtue that should be emulated by all Americans? H’wood is a straight boys club and if gays want to play the game, then fine. But really, what have they done to improve life for queer performers, after a century? Why should we believe they can effect any sort of change in the real world?

      Everyone thinks H’wood is a liberal oasis, but nothing could be further from the truth. The people at the top, the people who sign the checks, are usually right-wingers, conservatives and Republicans. They bring all their money grubbing ways–exploiting gays for film revenue–along with their anti-gay ways–threatening to ruin careers if actors come out. Why should we tolerate this?

      Secondly, there is nothing more homophobic than a H’wood queer. A friend who went to H’wood in 1995 to stake his claim, was told by a queeny casting agent my friend was too femme to make it in H’wood. He actually gave my friend “lessons” in how to be butch. And also made it clear that if he slept with certain people, the agent would “see” if he could get my friend some roles. This queeny queer was also married with three kids, one of which was my friends age.

      Lastly, how many gays are taken advantge of, only to be rejected? Brent Corrigan talked about how he was invited to do a role in Milk, but after getting out to LA, the person he was meeting with expected certain things of Mr. Corrigan, that were not acting related. When Brent wouldn’t play along, he was sent packing. Only after talking about the situation on his blog, was he contacted again and given a bit part. Brent Corrigan is used to being jerked aroud and clearly has the backbone to say fuck off. How many young people, desperate for fame, don’t have that courage and are used up and spit out?

      As far as I’m concerned, Al Qaeda shouldn’t have flown their planes into the World Trade Center towers; they should have flown their planes into the Hollywood sign. America would have been a better place for it.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 9:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BillyBob Thornton
      BillyBob Thornton

      Anyone who tries to remove our rights, is homophobic, and generally tries to cause harm to the GLBTQ community is fair game in my opinion.

      Those who are not, deserve their privacy.

      I have to admit though, if there was an article or documentary that purpoted to prove that any HOT male celebrity is gay, I’d definately want to read/watch it!

      Guess that makes me a hypocrite huh?

      Apr 23, 2009 at 9:11 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • rickroberts
      rickroberts

      Clay Aiken? Please. I didn’t buy his stuff BEFORE he came out. I can’t stand looking at our listening to the dude. I don’t care whether he is gay. Blech.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 9:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • rickroberts
      rickroberts

      If they are hypocrites, then yank them out. If they fail to stand up when given the chance, yank them out. Otherwise, leave them alone to make some money for a few years. As for dating a closeted dude, no way in hell.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 9:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Diane
      Diane

      I think we have to remember that in addition to career concerns, gay celebrities are real people with real lives and real families. Sometimes, gay celebs who are being dragged out of the closet aren’t even out yet to family members. They are weighing not only career consequences, but also the kind of personal issues all gays have. Coming out in such a public way is just not the same — everything is magnified.

      And then as Kev said — why come out when you’re then vilified by the gay community for not coming out sooner? Take Clay Aiken. He was the target of jokes by late night comics, gay bloggers, etc., based on the assumption he was gay. He comes out. It doesn’t stop. Now he’s criticized b/c he came out on People. He came out too late. He does nothing for the gay community. Who does he think he is giving out a GLAAD award? Blah blah blah.

      You come out when you’re ready. That’s the bottom line.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 9:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Oaklander
      Oaklander

      I draw the line with behavior. If you have someone making ugly homophobic comments, and you can get a picture of them praying at Steamworks, I say DO IT.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 9:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ML
      ML

      The private lives of Hollywood celebrities are somewhat irrelevant. While I wish there were more out celebrities, more will refuse to compromise as society becomes more accepting.

      Polticians are fair game though. Their hypocrisy must be exposed.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 9:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ali
      Ali

      I still think the Barney Frank rule applies. Out them only if they do something harmful to the community.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spencer
      Spencer

      I agree with many of the posters above. Celebrities should not be outed until they are ready. I could care less about their careers or the stupid negative reaction given by the gay community after public admittance. Coming out is a personal decision in all of our lives and celebrities should have the right to come out in their own time, not ours. They are actors after all, not moral paragons or obligated examples to the gay community. They are public figures, but what they do behind closed closet doors is their business not ours. I don’t want my rights to privacy stepped on and neither do entertainers.

      As far as the politians are concerned, I agree. If they are publicly supporting anti-gay issues and legislation, they should be outed for being the hypocrits they are. Politians are enacting policies that affect my life and lifestyle. Unlike actors/musicians/sports figures who are just affecting my entertainment.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tarheel1023
      tarheel1023

      anyone who slanders us needs to be “outed” anyway available, but those who don’t should be the ones who decide if and when they come out.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Queerky
      Queerky

      It is truly peculiar that in an industry that is built on illusions, lies and deceit….the Hollywood dream factory…we the public forgive fake boobs, fake noses, digitally enhanced singing, almost anything except a performer being untruthful about his or her sexuality. These actors and singers do not look so perfect in person, it’s all lights and mirrors. Part of that fairy tale is the virility or sensuality of the star. It is all crafted, totally made up. We live in a less than perfect world and so for entertainment we pay to fall into a glamorous world of make believe. Rudolph Valentino was not the hot latin lover he portrayed, he was impotent. Cary Grant was not the sauve ladies’ man, he was gay. Audrey Hepburn did not sing like an angel. Marilyn was not dumb nor in fact a blonde. So what. Entertainment is about the perfect image. Get used to it.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael W.
      Michael W.

      I can’t believe that Hollywood, an industry that’s one of the most heavily reliant on gays both closeted and out, is still allowed to go through with these practices. It speaks volumes about us, our solidarity and our perseverence to bring change. It’s like Hollywood gays are the house negroes of today. They probably make up a large percentage of the roughly 50% of homosexuals who didn’t even bother to vote on Prop 8.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chitown Kev
      Chitown Kev

      @Michael W.:
      Agreed.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike
      Mike

      I’m not going to disagree with the people saying out the politicians making laws harmful to LGBT… mainly because I’m a vindictive son of a bitch (no really, my mother admits that she’s a bitch ;) ).

      One thing I am going to ask though, is how many people in the chorus singing ‘out them’ have been outed themselves? I was outed in high school by someone I thought was a friend (and to this day I will never let anyone use my computer without clearing out my web browser because of it), I know how much that hurts… and you know, to be honest, I can’t bring myself to hate the Hollywood types that much to think they deserve it.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jon
      Jon

      Yes, out the politicians who act against gay rights but anyone else no. A thousand million times no. As long as there is no slander involved then everyone, and I mean everyone has the right to privacy. The choice to “come out” is a personal one with a whole raft of implications, the choice to do so is the individuals alone.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChristopherM
      ChristopherM

      That bit about Gavin Rossdale and Marilyn came out YEARS ago in Boy George’s book “Take It Like A Man.”

      Apr 23, 2009 at 11:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • rogue dandelion
      rogue dandelion

      @Michael W.: where did you get those statistics?

      It is nice here that most people don’t feel like outing someone just living their lives is appropriate- now lets go back to the anderson cooper article and make more innuendos.

      If i am not mistaken, Wanda Sykes came out on her own schedule, because she had to stand up for her community- where are the rest of the actors, musicians, and entertainers? I don’t think we should out anyone(other than those using their perceived heterosexuality as a shield to continue harming the LGBT community), but we should encourage everyone to step up.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 11:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bill
      Bill

      @Aaron: What difference would it make to you, personally, if he were gay? Do you think you would have a shot at dating him or something? He’s unattainable either way, why can’t you just enjoy his hotness for what it is: an image. Jesus, this is why gay actors won’t come out…deluded 12-year-old girls need to think they have a shot at scoring with Hugh, too!

      Apr 23, 2009 at 11:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geoff
      Geoff

      @John Santos: I think you are exactly right about “The only way to stop this is to out the anti-gay people who do this.”

      I personally don’t care if it’s Hollywood or IBM. There is a personal toll and cost to the vocation of being a star. Any single time people are forced in the closet for whatever reason WE ALL SUFFER. Does it suck that some nice celbrities are shaking in their boots about being outed when they’re trying to play by bigotted rules? Yes. However once people are unashamed and yes ‘proud’ of being who they are, it will be a better world in the present and the future.

      I think that applies for everyone, whatever income etc. Harsh, yes but practical.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 12:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MD
      MD

      It’s hateful and hypocritical to “out” anyone. The gay community demands tolerance (as it should), yet it is intolerant to those who are struggling??? People should be allowed to come out on their own terms. Everyone’s situation is different. As for Aiken, one of the first things he mentioned was the effect on his mother and grandmother. “Outing” someone doesn’t just affect that one person; it affects their entire family. I am a supporter of gay rights and same-sex marriage, but forcing someone out of the closet is nothing short of terrorism.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 12:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alec
      Alec

      @MD: Not when it comes to politicians and other public figures who use their status in support of anti-gay policies. They are absolutely fair game. Forcing them out of the closet is self-defense, and the best disinfectant we have.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 1:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Gay Numbers
      The Gay Numbers

      @Mike: Do you think that matters whether a rule is personal or not? Do we often ask in a criminal case whether the defendant has previously been the victim of the same crime? The answr is no. It’s irrelevant information.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 2:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Gay Numbers
      The Gay Numbers

      @MD: God, another person who does not know that their use of the word tollerance renders the word meaningless. Are suppose to be limited by your kind of definitions of tolerance that essentially means tolerant of the intollerant? Do you know how self refuting the underlying premise of your post is?

      Apr 23, 2009 at 2:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • daffodil
      daffodil

      If you’re gay and don’t have the balls to stand up for what you think you are, then you’re a wuss and too bad for you if you don’t get the part. Someone call the waaaaahmbulance.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 2:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bboy
      bboy

      If you’re going to be a publicity-seeking whore, you lose your right to privacy. And if you have already lost your privacy, why not do some good and give a 13 year old Kansas queer an example of a successful queer person? Have we already forgotten the whole point of Harvey Milk’s story?

      Apr 23, 2009 at 2:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Gay Numbers
      The Gay Numbers

      Legally speaking it is true that you do lose your right of privacy when you become a public figure. Whether or not its morally right to out celebrities- one should probably not claim privacy is the basis since its clear by choosing a profession that is not private that means they are forgoing that right. They clearly have no problem displaying their entire lives to the public. It’s only the bits that will damage their career. So its not really privacy thats their concern. It’s their careers. I find that acceptable for gays who are doing us no harm. Even if I think its cowardly, I understand that they can hold what ever information they want, but I also understand they should not claim it is for the sake of privacy. Politicians, again, are another matter. I say out them and don’t look back.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 2:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fight4it
      fight4it

      Yes, it would be nice to be out & “proud”- “It would be a better world in the present & future”- But with the ever present homophobia & intolerance today- it is harsh and impractical.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 2:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • archie
      archie

      I totally agree that discrimination against gays in any field is evil and heinous. I also have to tell you that it goes the other way too. My step-nephew, who is straight, lost his career in Tinseltown for not blowing Joel Silver’s assistant director many years ago. All casting couches should be done away with.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 3:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BradSA
      BradSA

      If I were a celebrity and in the closet I’d look at how badly Clay Aiken was treated before and after coming out. How many of you say his music is bad when you’ve never heard it and I mean current stuff? The attitude for years has been to make a closeted celebrity’s life hell until they come out and then they are either forgotten(Lance Bass)or they keep getting slammed for not coming out faster(Clay Aiken). Its a lose lose proposition and we are responsible for it. We want young gay role models for gay kids, we want visibly successful stars to show that we are HERE, but we don’t support the ones we have. Its a crying shame.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 4:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TIN
      TIN

      Many of the posters here who post about Clay being outed are Claymates and are the newly-converted into tolerance of gay people. They wouldn’t be here talking about how hard it was for Clay if Clay had not been outed getting him to finally fess up. They would be proclaiming his “straightness” somewhere else.

      Actually, Clay outed himself long ago by his continued behavior which which facilitated someone’s saying that the Emperor had clothes, that is, that he was and chatting up guys on on-line hook-up sites, having sex with them and not being too discrete about it.

      It’s well past time for GLAAD and the HRC to deal realistically with the Hollywood celebs who are cruising WEHO and for all purposes out to everyone else in their lives and in the industry. These folks aren’t going through some great internal struggle about coming out. They are out. They are just not out to the fangirls and the middle-aged grandmas for whom it is about time to grow up and come to grips with the fact that many of the actors they grew up idolizing are gay and the pictures of happily ever after that they have lived with so long are false and irrelevant to their lives today.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 6:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pragmatist
      Pragmatist

      @The Gay Numbers: Yep, I agree with you. Public officials who weigh in on GLBT issues deserve to have their backgrounds checked. Actors, by contrast, give us something to do while munching popcorn. Leave them alone.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 6:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • rick
      rick

      i am of the opinion that every gay man who is hit on by straight men for sex just start outing them.

      these men are the ones who are keeping us from having all the rights we deserve. they cruise for gay sex on the side, go to church with the wife and kids and bash gays all day long.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 7:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • daffodil
      daffodil

      In Clay Aiken’s case, he only came out when a magazine agreed to give him the cover and a half mil $. He’s not really interested in others in the gay community. Unless they drop trou for him.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 7:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TANK
      TANK

      Yeah, it’s just as bad for straights as it is for teh gays in the showbizness….lol

      I don’t blame any celebrity for clinging to that closet door as tightly as possible. It ruined rupert everett’s career, which would have been much bigger. Blah blah blah, he’s difficult to work with; lotsa prima donna leading men are difficult to work with yet are A list celebrities. And this is money we’re talking about here, goddamnit! And that trumps all…but particularly happiness. Outing should be reserved for those who actively seek to undermine lgbt enfranchisement, i.e., vocal closeted homophobes, not celebrities who are just trying to maintain their careers by floating an image. For the most part, out gay actors are actors who don’t want to make it big. Examples like neil patrick harris (who is by NO MEANS an A list celebrity, and NEVER HAS BEEN–he had nothing to lose, really…coming out much later in his career, to boot) and ian mckellan (a stage actor, for the most part, and a damn good one at that) just fail to grasp the point here. So until america is willing to embrace a leading man or lady who is gay identified (not a talk show host…and minor comedian…), stay in the closet… And make no mistake, there’s many an entertainment industry power broker who’ve got the EQ’s of adolescent schoolboys, and act out their personality disorders by being homophobic asshats…all the while hiding behind “it doesn’t sell in the states!”

      The music industry on average is a little bit better, because musicians can trade on being artistically inclined and in many cases can transcend(depending on the type of music we’re talking about…which plays heavily into how much better it is…because some genres are worse) people’s thoughts about their personal lives.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 7:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pat
      Pat

      I was just thinking what a great dialogue was going on here, with some very articulate and thoughtful posts.

      Unfortunately, the last two negative posters about Clay Aiken threw that perception right out the window.

      He did not receive any money for his mag cover and if you think that the things you read in the NE and by some crazy bloggers on the i/net is accurate, you deserve to be lied to.

      ButI totally agree with what has already been stated – those in the entertainment industry should not be outed against their will and should be allowed to come out on their own timeframe.

      However,those politicions, gay and straight, who are detrimental to the cause of gay rights deserve to be outed.

      I have many gay friends and I hope that some day they have the same rights and privileges that all straight people have. .

      Apr 23, 2009 at 7:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • daffodil
      daffodil

      Oh look, it’s someone who discovered that gay people exist, thanks to Clay Aiken!

      Apr 23, 2009 at 7:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pat
      Pat

      No, just someone who discovered that some scummy gay people exist, just like some scummy straight people exist.

      I have had gay friends since I was in my 20’s and have held many a hand of those who came out to their destruction when their families disowned them. I’ve seen their fears and struggles and heartbreak, so you can keep you condescening attitude to yourself.

      You might want to consider that not ALL Clay Aiken fans are the idiots you like to portray.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 8:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sal
      sal

      for every clay there is an elton!

      Apr 23, 2009 at 8:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      I think we should out anyone who uses heterosexuality as a marketing ploy. Rock and roll was essentially a tool for the promotion of male heterosexuality. If there are rock and rollers who are gay or bisexual, we should out them.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 9:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ted C.
      Ted C.

      Even if Gavin Rossdale did date Marilyn, he might still be straight, considering that Marilyn looks and dresses like a woman.

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ted C.
      Ted C.

      (Just kidding. He’s totally bi.)

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sal
      sal

      http://www.advocate.com/news_detail_ektid80219.asp

      uganda just “outed’ some of their gays,i doubt anyone will be fine with this outing

      Apr 23, 2009 at 10:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Wild Gift
      Wild Gift

      But really, how many of us bought a Clay Aiken album BEFORE he came out…

      Apr 24, 2009 at 1:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Gay Numbers
      The Gay Numbers

      Sal you seem to have a real problem with understanding conversations in context. For example well before you gave your example most here said that outting as a general rule is not okay except in a very specific circumstance. Yet your response is to provide another circumstance and to pretend that the general rule we stated applies? Unless you were speaking only to those who say out in all cases your argument is a strawman under the circumstances.

      Apr 24, 2009 at 1:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Wry Bred
      Wry Bred

      The blame doesn’t lie with those in the closet, but with those on the other side of the door.

      As that pluperfect asshat Charlton Heston once shouted, “Soylent Green is people!” And way too many are mighty ignorant.

      Apr 24, 2009 at 2:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sal
      sal

      @The Gay Numbers: omg i was not talking about people’s responses .it was just a story i fouind while i was on another website.wow u read too much into this one,yikes!

      Apr 24, 2009 at 2:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • r
      r

      omg, gavin gay before can’t handle this. what of gwen, the he/she born liar? what does she say now that she took his daughter from his life too? gwen tell your dirty secrets too, theif, liar, murderer. we know.

      Apr 24, 2009 at 2:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • r
      r

      i remember when gavin went storming to someones house to shut them up from telling this story in the past, so guess it’s true, but a teenager then? do math, gay, got a girl prego, was with bush and marilyn, then with gwen. hmmm kind a close for comfort. maybe he was forced into gaydom like some poor victims have been. they aren’t the real faggots, just the helpless.

      Apr 24, 2009 at 2:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MD
      MD

      Gay numbers–Struggling with one’s own sexuality is not being intolerant. However, demanding others to deal with their sexuality the way that YOU see fit IS being intolerant.

      Apr 24, 2009 at 3:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MD
      MD

      Some people believe in force and violence to make a statement (terrorists). Others believe in peaceful measures to get their message across (Gandhi, M. L. King, Jr.).

      Apr 24, 2009 at 4:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alexa
      Alexa

      @Wild Gift: But that’s the point. Some of us are very gung ho for celebs to come out, voluntarily or involuntarily, no matter the consequences for them. But when they do, rather than being happy they did and supportive of them, we toss them aside or even continue to berate them. Fact: Clay lost fans when he came out, those fans will no longer spend their money on him, therefore his income and earning potential is lower than it was when he was closeted. Shouldn’t we as a community support him and others like him after they come out? Not just for them, but because if gay celebrities are seen to be successful after they come out it will encourage others to come out as well. And isn’t that what we want?

      @daffodil: And that’s a problem because? Shouldn’t we be happy that Clay coming out has made some of his straight fans rethink their views? If we are going to achieve equality any time soon we need straight people on our side, it doesn’t matter how they got here.

      Apr 24, 2009 at 8:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EX-Kanye fan
      EX-Kanye fan

      This only applies to actors. Everyone else on a film crew can be whatever and no one really cares. Actors are representative of people’s momentary lapse into some form of entertainment. If the audience can relate (depending on who the aud is), this person’s successful. But, let’s face it. Those who ARE already there don’t even stand up for us. We’re meant to be buffooned as if we all were gayish acting, which many of us aren’t. And so what if someone is that way. The bottom line is that society has to accept other people getting their CIVIL RIGHTS. Religion’s fear mongering is what’s creating dangerous situations for young children even. Just ridiculous. If you don’t lie gay marriage, DON’T MARRY ONE. Mind your own business when it comes to my civil rights.

      Apr 24, 2009 at 10:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nikko
      nikko

      It’s a lose-lose situation with some homos. Forget them and stay in the closet. Don’t do wrong to gays, but don’t pander to their fickle whims. It’s not worth it since the gay community is neither gay nor a community.

      Apr 25, 2009 at 4:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kirsten
      Kirsten

      let me people come out when they want to come out; when you’re dragged out it sucks! i was outed at my senior prom to over half of my high school by someone who i thought was my friend who i didn’t want to know in the first place. she was drunk and couldn’t keep her mouth shut. the rest of high school sucked. people should just leave it alone until he’s ready. or maybe he isn’t gay at all, but just wants publicity. so just leave him and anyone else alone and keep your suspicions to yourself (that was directed at the media not at people reading this)

      Apr 25, 2009 at 3:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • trent1280
      trent1280

      If we believe in freedom, that belief must extend to gay artists who choose when and how they wish to come out. Raymond Burr correctly understood that ‘Perry Mason’ would never have been accepted if known to be portrayed by a gay man. But at home in LA and, later, up in Healdsburg, he was completely out to all who knew him. When I first met him at a symphony concert his relationship with Bob Benevides was immediately clear. And no one cared. He was ‘Ray’, not gay. It was his decision, not ours. He found balance, and handled it well.

      Paul Lynde never did, and bitterness was etched on his face. Rip Taylor always did, and his face was etched with laugh lines. ‘Live and let live’ is how real Americans are taught to live.

      There is one powerful exception: those who would do harm. Hypocrites, usually of the right-wing variety, demand outing.

      Such hypocrites as ‘Rev’ Ted Haggard’, ‘Rev’ Paul Crouch, ‘Rev’ Jim Bakker, ‘Rev’ Lonnie Frisbee, ‘Rev’ Billy James Hargis, ‘Rev’ Frank Houston, ‘Rev’ John Paulk, ‘Rev’ Paul Barnes, ‘Rev’ Ronnie Latham, Sen Larry Craig, Republican activist Terry Dolan, Republican shark-lawyer Roy Cohn, Republican leader Ken Mehlman, Republican Congressmen Robert Baumann, Mark Foley, Ed Schrock and David Drier: all are phonies who voted and preached against gays and then, at midnight, had sex with them.

      Who can defend these false, lying and deceiving characters? No one who believes in American principles of fairness, honesty and honor. Their self-loathing becomes law, and this is deeply un-American, and unacceptable. Period.

      Apr 26, 2009 at 3:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Casper O
      Casper O

      you simply don’t out people, it is gossip until they come out themselves, and gossip give bad kharma… which i already have way too much of…

      Apr 26, 2009 at 2:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TANK
      TANK

      and deepak chopra believes in karma, so it must exist. Like m&m’s that talk and santa.
      By all means, out people who need to be outed (homophobic closeted politicians and homophobic closted people in general, etc).

      Apr 26, 2009 at 2:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • pikespeak
      pikespeak

      I’m on the fence on whether or not this is an outing. His career won’t be damaged, he isn’t cheating on Gwen with Marilyn, so what’s the problem? Marilyn said they had a LTR.

      Lots of exes come out of the woodwork to tell their story of dating a current celebrity–Michelle Obama’s ex-boyfriend did an interview about their relationship just after Barack was elected.

      I don’t get it.

      Apr 27, 2009 at 7:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • newly open minded
      newly open minded

      @Alexa: I’ve been following the intelligent conversation here and read this part of your post.
      “Shouldn’t we be happy that Clay coming out has made some of his straight fans rethink their views? If we are going to achieve equality any time soon we need straight people on our side, it doesn’t matter how they got here.”

      I thought, “that’s me!”

      I’m one of those “straight fans” who has had to ‘rethink’ my views. I used to think marriage should be for only a man and a woman, I thought a domestic agreement was ‘good enough’. NOW, because of Clay, I see things totally differently and would fight for the right for gays to marry.

      Apr 28, 2009 at 10:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeremy
      Jeremy

      I want to know what does it matter anyway: it’s not like you’re going to date them. Maybe it’s just cause I’m a bi and the amount of straight females + gay males in hollywood is far greater than those of just gay males. Maybe instead of trying to find a celebrity who understands you, you should try and understand the celebrity. If they say they’re straight put yourselves in the hiking trailer boots (sorry cliches) of a straight guy and relate to them instead of finding a gay person you already feel you can relate to.

      On another note, it is SO not the public’s right to know whether they’re straight or gay or whatever. Really, if an actor was asexual would hollywood be trying to constantly set them up? (On that note, we really need more asexual actors in hollywood).

      Sep 8, 2010 at 9:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • prohomo
      prohomo

      The “gay community” is full of shit. Wrongful outing has serious consequences for bi/gay persons who are not anti-gay themselves. I wouldn’t come out if my career would depend on it- as long as I do not oppose gay rights, my life is my own business. So much shrill talk to come out at all costs to a “community” that drops you for fresh meat after you come out and does not support it’s own, I call it all bullshit.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 4:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Queer Supremacist
      Queer Supremacist

      @jason: I thought rock ‘n roll was (another) ploy to steal music from black people.

      But back to the topic at hand, my personal belief is that coming out is a deeply personal, often painful process. If you are in the closet, you are sending the message that homosexuality is shameful and something that needs to be concealed, like a skid mark or acne. You are not being malicious, and obviously you are not ready to come out, but you are still misguided and need help. If you are in the closet and actively hurting us, you are a malicious pig who deserves nothing but contempt.

      And I agree with all the people who say there is no real gay community. I feel no sense of community with other gays. Maybe because we’re represented in all races, nations, and many other species, sexual orientation is the only thing we have in common. In theory, one could build a community around that immutable characteristic, but unlike race, religion, gender, or nationality, of which one’s knowledge is instilled from birth onward, most gays and lesbians are unaware of our sexuality until we hit puberty. In fact, as kids we are too young to understand sexuality, so we are repulsed by it. When we learn we are gay and accept it we try to find others like us. But unless we meet certain requirements regarding body type, personal taste, and ideology, we are ostracized. Why should one feel a sense of community with those who will not accept us for ourselves?

      Sep 9, 2010 at 4:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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