Even though he’s straight, comedy writer Sam Greenspan knows a lot about using the internet to have cheap but gratifying sex with strangers. In fact, he’s written a book about it called 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up. It hit stores this week and to tease your eyeholes into buying it, he’s provided a sneak peek at some very helpful punctuation tips when using Grindr, Adam4Adam, PlentyOfFish, or whatever cyber-slut hook-up site you’re using these days.
Short version: only uptight prigs use semicolons or brackets; too many exclamation marks, question marks, and emoticons make you look desperate; and ellipses, tildes, and asterisked footnotes can make you seem damned sexy.
You can thank us by screaming “Queerty!” when you climax.