‘Tis the season to be jolly, and what better way to spread the joy than by giving your loved one a holiday-themed sexy toy. Lucky for him (and you!), there are no shortage of them out there. From peppermint flavored lube to dildos shaped like candy canes, you could stuff any stocking with x-rated trimmings.
Here are some holiday-themed bedroom accessories guaranteed to keep your season merry and bright.
Candy Cane Flavored Lube
Not only does this lube come in an adorable teddybear-shaped bottle and will make your man taste like peppermint, but it’s packed with all sorts of vitamins and minerals, including A, C, D, E, B1, B2, B3, B6 and B12, plus folic acid and amino acids.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
The X-Mas Tuggie
Measuring 8.5-inches long and 2-inches wide, with a generous sized pouch for your nuts, the X-Mas Tuggie looks just like a candy cane. An adjustable drawstring at the base ensures a secure fit that will keep you cuddly and warm no matter how low the temperature dips.
Embrace your inner abominable snowman and spank your lover senseless with this sexy Frosty crop.
Chocolate Santa Surprise
Okay, okay. So this one isn’t a sex toy, per se, but we couldn’t resist including it on the list. It may look like just another chocolate Santa Claus until you peel back the foil wrapping. Just think of the possibilities.
Present Boxer Briefs
Show off your package in these sexy low-rise boxer briefs made from green soft stretch velvet and topped with a festive red bow.
Or maybe candy canes are more your style. If so, you’re in luck! They make those, too.
Santa Vibe
Every wonder what it feels like to ride on Santa’s “sleigh”? Here’s your chance to can find out.
Peppermint Peckers
Keep your breath fresh between love sessions with these penis-shaped breath mints.
Candy Cane “Pleasure Wand”
11-inches in length and 1-inch in diameter, this glass “pleasure wand” is curved and striped to look like a candy cane. (For safety reasons, the manufacturer recommends you clean and inspect all of your glass pleasure wands before and after each use. And never use a damaged glass wand.)
Merry Memories Holiday Massage Candle Trio
At long last, someone has found a way to combine our two favorite things into one: sex and cookies. These arousing massage candles come in three holiday scents: Candy Cane, Harvest Moon, and delicious Sugar Cookie.
Less holiday and more winter-themed, Astroglide’s Warming Liquid is perfect for fellas who like it hot. One dollop to your most sensitive spots will ignite your loins and keep the heat cranked up. It’s perfect to have in hand for a cool, wintery night.
Related stories:
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Have Yourself A Slutty Little Christmas: 10 GIFs That Keep On Giving
I'm Black, and HIV-Positive.
LOL! All wonderful gift ideas. I can’t choose a favorite, but I would like to suggest a recommendation if I could that they re-make the penis-shaped chocolate Santa Clauses next year to include a umm… a white chocolate selection. A penis-shaped, white chocolate Santa would really hit the spot for me if you know whats I means…
rickhfx
A chocolate with a white cream filling, one that squirts when you bite into it.
Trippy
Receiving a peppermint blowjob can be quite pleasant, so I’d recommend the peppermint peckers, but I’d also suggest keeping Altoids around for non-holiday fun after the new year.
Saint Law
@I’m Black, and HIV-Positive.: “if you know whats I means…”
Your minstrel masquerade is painful.Have you ever actually met a black person?
Re-runs of ‘Roots’ don’t count.
DarkZephyr
I don’t get glass sex toys, personally.
I'm Black, and HIV-Positive.
@Saint Law: Hmm. I guess they can feed internet to those log cabins that you backwoods, hillbilly fucks live in.
“Have you ever actually met a black person?”
Mad because I’m the only here on the Queerty site who stands up to your bully ass? And I must be white for doing so? How pathetic you Nazi bitch. You sure there aren’t anymore homophobic comments that you want to post here instead cracker, because I actually have been reading all that you have posting here lately, and I’ve been noticing that your cowardice doesn’t just extend towards race issues.
Or rather I’ll just throw your own question back to you, and ask you this: Have you ever met a gay person? Or even a black person for that matter yourself you “sexless, lovelorn faggot”? And pictures of black, slain civil rights leaders that you use for dart practice at your Good Old Boys Network functions don’t count.
Saint Law
@I’m Black, and HIV-Positive.: “Because I actually have been reading all that you have been posting here lately”
Clearly. You’re obsessed. But I cant blame you for that. What else is there in your ‘life’?
Oh and the misquote in your post was actually directed at one of your other avatars, Jason. But fanx for confirming what we all already knew, you fat, lovelorn, caucasian faggot.
I'm Black, and HIV-Positive.
@Saint Law: “Clearly. You’re obsessed.”
And clearly you’re projecting again faggot, because you stalked me again (as usual) for being stronger than some over the hill, sexless, jealous, white supremacist, hackjob faggot on a keyboard named Saint Law who is only too stupid to realize that her bitch words are still printed above for anyone to read if they want proof of who’s obsessing over on whom.
Or can’t you read bitch? That’s another question for your fake, lying, bitch ass to answer. Afterall anyone who wants proof can just scroll up, and read you jealous whore!
Mad, because you don’t have an argument anymore? I’m sure your rascist inspiration will come back to you soon cracker. In the meantime why don’t you just take that stick that you use to remind of how good human closeness feels out your fucking pussy, and stop believing that you’re the one fucking yourself with the ugly stick in the first place. Or how about this: Why don’t you just take your race hating politics, and just shove them right back up in that motherfucker! Ha ha ha! Take your pick!
I'm Black, and HIV-Positive.
@Saint Law: “Oh and the misquote in your post was actually directed at one of your other avatars, Jason. But fanx for confirming what we all already knew, you fat, lovelorn, caucasian faggot.”
Nobody misquoted fag! Nice try yourself. Because the next time you want to re-direct a real bitch with your fake bitch ass about misquotes, or misinterpretations, or misanythings then make sure you don’t MISSPELL the word thanks then ho! Thanx ho! Your turn!
Oh, and by the way is the Ku Klux Klan here back in town again, because other than a neo-Nazi/skinhead/ex-gay movement I can’t figure out why you’re even here harassing us proud gays with insults like: “Then you simply must be white to have the wit to crack my cracker ass back!” in the first place.
Don’t keep getting it twisted stupid. You would be unpopular with everyone you dumb bitch ass! And we all do hate you multi-racially! Ha ha ha! Just ask onthemark. Even he had to post a line against you just recently you dimwitted, Nazi flag waving faggot! Or, as we used to say in da hood bitch: Oops upside yo’ head!