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Atlantis Launching World’s Largest Cruise Of Semen-Loving Seamen

On Sunday, Royal Caribbean’s Allure of the Seas — a two-month-old, 225,282-ton behemoth that’s purportedly the world’s second-largest largest(?) cruise ship — will depart from Fort Lauderdale loaded with five thousand four hundred queers. Atlantis Events, which is leasing the ocean liner, claims the seven-night voyage to the Bahamas, St. Maarten, and St. Thomas, is the largest gay cruise ever. What could be more pleasant than boarding an enormous moving vessel packed with a small stadium’s worth of possible hook ups?

By:           JD
On:           Feb 4, 2011
Tagged: , ,

  • 17 Comments
    • meego
      meego

      Um, gee, I dunno. Having a steady boyfriend for those of us into that kind of thing?

      Feb 4, 2011 at 9:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Taylor
      Taylor

      @ Meego: what does one have to do with the other?

      Feb 4, 2011 at 10:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • divkid
      divkid

      rear admirals…roger the cabin boy …seaman stains….

      *drum roll…. cymbal crash*

      thank you, thank you … i’ll be here all week. try the veal

      Feb 4, 2011 at 11:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anonymous
      Anonymous

      You guys need to fact check.

      It’s the largest cruise ship beating the Oasis of the Seas by 5 centimeters.

      And the cruise is going to the Caribbean, not Mexico or Haiti

      Feb 4, 2011 at 11:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • brandon h
      brandon h

      I’d love to go but no one over 175lbs or with body hair is allowed on board unless they take a vow of celibacy.

      Feb 4, 2011 at 5:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      This will be like a floating bath-house. Granted, ordinary cruises aren’t much different.

      However, when you put horny men with horny men, it becomes a cesspool. I hope there’s a clinic at the first port of call.

      Feb 4, 2011 at 5:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      Oh Jason, your self shame is sad.

      Feb 4, 2011 at 5:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      Soupy,

      Unlike many in the gay male community, my sense of self does not depend on my ability to have sex with total strangers to whom I am fifth or sixth in the queue.

      I have dignity, class and a sense of moderation.

      Feb 4, 2011 at 5:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      And a real psychiatric problem. Good luck with that.

      Feb 4, 2011 at 6:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • redgalaxoid
      redgalaxoid

      Oh yeah, because anything gay related MUST be sex related. No, it can’t just be couples or groups of friends wanting to have a vacation in a friendly, open environment. No. If they’re gay, those 5400 people MUST be looking for a hook up.

      Feb 4, 2011 at 7:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 6 · jason wrote, “However, when you put horny men with horny men, it becomes a cesspool. I hope there’s a clinic at the first port of call.”

      If a particular cruise is de facto a floating sex club, the obvious way to avoid the need for “a clinic at the first port of call” is to do STD tests as people board, and plenty of free condoms just in case.

      Outrageous? Probably, but it would work.

      Feb 5, 2011 at 3:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jason
      jason

      RedGalaxoid,

      My experience talking to people who take these cruises is that they are planning to use it as a sex boat. This is not a case of “oh, let’s peruse the palm trees”. It’s more a case of “pass the penis”.

      The mere fact that this has been marketed as a “gay cruise” is proof positive that it’s a sex cruise. Such segregationist marketing is built on the sex club notion.

      I’m not saying that ordinary cruises aren’t like this. In fact, many of the cruises that are marketed to breeders are designed to play up the presence of bikini-clad whore-cunts. The marketing is targeted towards the breeder male, the woman is the whore-cunt lure.

      Feb 5, 2011 at 4:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jim
      Jim

      Love the smell of fresh hate in the morning.

      You guys are a great example of why we are our own worst enemy.

      Feb 6, 2011 at 9:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ken S
      Ken S

      @Anonymous: teehee- spoken like a true size quen :)

      Feb 6, 2011 at 2:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ken S
      Ken S

      @Anonymous: *queen

      Feb 6, 2011 at 2:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Justin
      Justin

      Jason – your belief that the Atlantis cruises are “sex cruises” is inaccurate. My partner and I have been on a few of these together over the course of the past few years – including the Allure cruise that ended this past weekend – and we have yet to have sex with anyone else. On every cruise, we have met lots of people like us. The cruises have good entertainment, and are a convenient way for spread out groups of friends to gather and hang out for a week. Lots of people aboard come from places where they have to be pretty closeted. There certainly are people aboard looking to hook up, and there are people aboard who have a lot of sex, but there are more people who are just looking to relax with friends in a gay environment.

      Feb 16, 2011 at 4:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lu Larry
      Lu Larry

      My husband and I have been on many cruises in the past few years. We have been on numerous different cruise lines but out of all of them nothing compares to World Cruise
      . If you haven’t cruised with them you should check them out! We have never had a more enjoyable experience!

      Jul 6, 2011 at 11:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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