Straight folk looking for the secret to gay success better listen up. Michael Melcher not-so-recently recalled an encounter with a straight coworker who wondered if Melcher’s ‘moness made him more upwardly mobile. After miraculously reciting his entire explanatory monologue (“A big part of coming out is recognizing that you are not going to get acceptance and approval from everyone” – blah, blah – “Coming out is a process of sorting out your adult self”), the journo offers a quick checklist for straights looking for the gay way to the top:
You don’t have to be gay to be gay on the inside. Anyone can do it! It just requires three things: (1) consider that you might be different from the way people think you are; (2) consider that you might be different from the way you think you are supposed to be; (3) be willing to accept that other people may disapprove of your choices, and realize that their approval doesn’t matter all that much anyway.
That’s right. Just remember, everyone, there’s no one as important or as smart or as absolutely fablous as you. No one…
Jon
That went entirely over my head. What is that all supposed to mean?
Dawster
…and with none of the nasty “family kicking you out of the house/friends never want to speak to you again” residue…
cjc
or “not being able to marry/not being able to serve in the armed forces/chance of getting beaten, dragged and killed” side effects.
Vinman
Those steps are also for how to survive being GAY and not ending up a suicidal or closeted self-loathing homosexual.
Dawster
… so ask your doctor if non-gay “coming out to your adult self” is right for you…