Breaking: Jesse Trautmann Farted

Our favorite prodigal homo-journo, Jesse Trautmann, has made the proverbial return! Hoo-rah!

While we’d like to think it’s because Trautmann couldn’t stop thinking about our slutty-selves, we know it’s just a bit of self-promotion. That’s alright. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: shameless self-promotion pays (although, we were shamelessly promoting ourselves on the corner last night, and let’s just say the pay wasn’t that great).

Anyway, ol’ Trauttie sent us this link to the latest installment in his sometimes funny, sometimes feckless, always faggy series of romantically-inclined essays. In it, Trautmann recalls his first – and subsequently last – rim job.

It was my first time with penetration… We started going at it, but after a few minutes I couldn’t keep going, so I told him to stop. He obliged, but proceeded to flip me over and start rimming me. Being a naive virgin, I didn’t know what he was doing back there, nor did I know exactly how clean I was. I was on all fours and nervous as hell, but apparently clean, because he was enjoying himself.

Then, without warning, I farted. [My boyfriend] sat up with a disgusted look on his face. He quickly pulled at his tongue the way you do when lint or fluff is stuck on it. I was mortified and speechless.

Sure, farting in someone’s mouth’s pretty embarrassing (Why Gay Me? anyone?), but it could have been worse. (You know what we mean.)