Canadian Neil Smith never imagined he'd become a professional writer. Sure, he liked writing and all, but dismissed it as a hobby - until his marvelous short stories started getting published.

It wasn't long until an agent contacted Smith and persuaded him to publish a collection of nine thoughtful, profound tales, Bang Crunch, which Vintage Contemporaries recently republished in paperback form.

Our editor chatted with Smith this morning and got the scoop on his literary process, the inevitability of melancholy and how he discovered his own imagination. Read all about it, after the jump.

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Canadian queers are fuming over a recent decision to regulate Pictou County's flag poles. The County's council voted 7-6 Monday to only allow official, state-recognized flag to adorn its shiny staffs, a move that many gay activists consider homophobic, while others say it helps contain haters:

Ramona Westgate, an activist with the Pictou County Pride Group, said officials did not speak with other community groups before voting on the policy. "They didn't reach out to any of the community organizations, including the Pride of Pictou County, and ask them how they feel or what they thought the effects of this policy would be," she told CTV Atlantic.

Warden Allister MacDonald dismissed any notion the new policy was created from homophobia. He said the restrictions would actually protect the gay community. "A hate group could come and ask for us to raise a flag, and we would be discriminating against that particular group (by not raising the flag)," he said. "They could take us to a human rights court. This way we're trying to be proactive so that there would be no controversy down the road."

Ah, yes, the old "one step ahead" argument - works every time!

Apparently Judge Jon-Jo Douglas believes that HIV can live in a "dried state," reactivate and then infect at will. In an effort to avoid infection, Douglas insisted that an HIV positive witness wear a mask while testifying. He then moved the case to a larger courtroom so that he wouldn't be so close to said witness. Absolutely insane, right? Activists and legal types think so, too:

In their Jan. 17 letter of complaint, the Canadian HIV/AIDS Legal Network and the HIV and AIDS Legal Clinic (Ontario) say Douglas's response to the witness, a complainant in a sexual assault case, reveals "shockingly discriminatory thinking" and is a "particularly extreme example of unacceptable conduct by a judicial officer."

The organizations say the case also raises questions about the extent to which judges are informed about HIV/AIDS and related human rights issues.

Their complaints target not only Douglas, but two courts – his own and the Superior Court of Justice, for failing to clearly condemn the behaviour.

The Crown applied to the Superior Court of Justice to have Douglas removed from the case for creating an appearance of bias. But Justice Margaret Eberhard declined, saying while his approach may have been wrong, Douglas had jurisdiction to take the steps he felt necessary to ensure courtroom safety.

Ontario's Criminal Lawyers Association has also lodged a complaint with the judicial council. The lawyers' group contends Douglas did not bring a judicial temperament to trial proceedings and treated a witness differently on the basis of irrelevant personal characteristics. Contacted yesterday, association president Frank Addario declined to discuss the allegations. The complaints are being investigated by a judicial council subcommittee, which will determine if a public inquiry into Douglas's fitness to remain on the bench is warranted.

We think it's safe to say that Douglas ain't fit for the bench. Not only does he not understand HIV/AIDS, but he looks bat shit crazy.

Canadian Auto Workers Union gave PFLAG Canada $25,000. Conservatives make this into a bad thing.

• From this week's In Touch. That's all you need to know…

• Washington tops California for [second] most gay politicians. New Hampshire wins with seven.

• Gaydar exists.

• Ontario's out Health Minister George Smitherman comes out against gay organ donor ban.

• Porn producer Bryan Kocis' father files lawsuit against son's alleged killers, Harlow Cuadra and Joseph Kerekes.

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Newly out actor Adamo Ruggiero appears on Canadian fag rag Fab's February issue. We totally want to smooch the dashing 21-year old, but we've watched him grow up on Degrassi: The Next Generation. Is that wrong?

Canada's former Designer Guys hosts Steven Sabados and Chris Hyndman (ha!) are getting their own daytime "lifestyle" talk show. It's called Steven and Chris - wait, we thought queers were supposed to be creative!

Canadian students are crying "bloody murder" over their government's tenacious ban on gay blood donations. The blood agency's questionnaire screens out any man who has had sex with another man at least once since 1977.

The national student group decided to press the issue in 2006 and the cause has been taken up by universities across the country, most notably at University of Toronto and McGill University, said activist Andrew Brett.

Brett, advocacy and outreach coordinator for the student union at the University of Toronto's Mississauga campus, said posters against the policy began popping up in December and students will be deciding on the shape of their campaign against the policy in the coming weeks.

"Maintaining this policy is based on a misunderstanding and it's promoting stereotypes," said Brett.

Despite the fact that other nations have adopted more lenient policies, the Canadian Blood Services refuses to let go of their discriminatory blood banking.

Some crazy Canadian women dropped some ink to rain on gay prides parades. The Right wing "Real Women of Canada" took to their Reality magazine to offer us this: "Gay Pride Parades are Past Their Prime". It's Grade-A!

Note that the gals adhere to American presidential candidate Mike Huckabee's queer chronology. A taste:

Homosexual activists have played it both ways. On the one hand, they argue they are just like everyone else. They love deeply and permanently and want to marry and be parents, living out their lives just like heterosexuals do…Yet, on the other hand, they are "proud" of their subculture, which was established in the 1970's and 1980's, as exemplified by the gay pride parades where men dress like and pretend to be women and vice versa.

The unlady like ladies go on to call gays "vain and foolish" and also criticize parading politicians: "[They display] their lack of discernment: they fail to understand what the parade is really about - exhibitionism and narcissism promoting…a deadly form of sexuality."

• Recently arrested hustler Cody Castagna's mug shot makes us wonder why Republican Richard Curtis would hire him in the first place.

• Zoe Leonard's 1992 "I Want A President" still resonates.

• Did Canada's New Democratic Party drop a lawyer for being trans?

• HX editor Brandon Voss talks gay with Friday Night Lights' Kyle Chandler for The Advocate. The gays apparently urged Chandler to try the theatrical arts. Figures…

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Hamilton, Canada coppers caught a break yesterday when 24-year old Earl Robinson turned himself in for one of last weekend's two anti-gay attacks.

An unidentified 23-year old gay man says three men approached him early Sunday morning, hurled some homophobic epithets and proceeded to beat him. Robinson says he's one of those men. Police later arrested 23-year old Josh Pfau. The third assailant remains at large.

Meanwhile, officials are still looking into the second apparent attack.

Canadian police are on the look-out for some alleged gay bashers:

Hamilton police are looking for three suspects following two street assaults officers say were motivated by hate.

Both attacks occurred Saturday evening. In the first, a 23-year-old man out walking with three female friends was attacked by three men who were shouting anti-gay slurs.

The victim was punched and kicked in the head and upper body area but his injuries were not life-threatening.

Police say a second man was assaulted under similar circumstances within an hour by the same suspects.

Two suspects are white males and the third has a darker complexion.

Well, at least the two crackers are accepting enough to hang out with a darkie, right?

Craig Chandler's homophobic history haunted his occupational hopes this weekend. The Canadian politico 'ost Alberta's Progressive Conservative nomination over his ties to an anti-gay letter:

The controversy surrounding Chandler began several years ago when a member of a group that he formed wrote a letter that suggested homosexuals were morally comparable to criminals such as pedophiles, drug dealers, and pimps.

The Tory decision to deny Chandler's run for political office with their party came after a human rights commission ruled that a letter published by the Red Deer Advocate in 2002 broke provincial law. It also said that the letter may have led to the beating of a gay teenager in Red Deer.

The letter was written by Stephen Boissoin, a member of the Concerned Christian Coalition. Boissoin said Chandler — who was the former CEO of the coalition — was aware of the letter.

Alberta premier Ed Stelmach said that Chandler's nomination was "not in the best interest of the party".

Chandler, meanwhile, will not be dissuaded, "I'm not going away. I will be very, very involved in the upcoming election." He's obviously a man on an unholy mission.

Anti-gay hysteria recently reached a fever pitch at a Canadian Catholic school. A group of exceptionally nosy activists lobbied the Waterloo Catholic District School Board to ban a book called Open Minds To Equality. Why? Because it advocated empathy for homophobically harassed students. Blasphemy!

Slap Upside The Head explains:

The book, entitled Open Minds to Equality, advises on how to deal with ageism, sexism, and homophobia in schools. While the resource was available for teachers to consult, it was not required reading, nor accessible by students directly.

Jack Fonseca, a spokesperson for Defend Traditional Marriage and Family, was thrilled by his lobbying victory: "[The removal] will make it more difficult for the book to get into the hands of teachers who might’ve been misled by the flawed lessons within."

And wouldn't it just be a crying shame if an upset child found a caring shoulder? God himself would weep - and he doesn't even have tear ducts!

Terry and Ryan Hamilton hoped to find domestic bliss in Bothwell, Canada. They didn't. Instead they found harassment and threats. After filing at least 30 complaints with the police, however, they reached their limit and moved beyond the town limits.

"Die fags," was spray painted on the couple's home at 341 Main St., sending a clear message they weren't welcome.
…
"There was no way we could stay, we were suffering such tremendous hate crimes," Ryan Hamilton said. "They were doing everything they could to make our lives a living hell."

Well, perhaps the towns folk were speaking German and saying, "The fags". You know, just so everyone would know. Wait, that's still gross. Not as gross as one resident's reaction. Says John Dingman, "They were all about their gay rights and that. They didn't have to keep on harping on it." Oh, yes, of course! Gay activists should just shut their mouths and assimilate into a town that obviously isn't interested in acceptance. We'll make a note of that next time we find ourselves in an inhospitable environment.