Gay marriage love consumed us this week, so we’re keeping this week’s Trolling Tuesday short, sweet and more than a bit disturbing: any cocky guyz intersted in traingin me as a dog? i love to sniff ass, piss my pants, on all four, lick u feet and fetch your used sox. totally submsisive boy here, vgl, 6.2, 185, smooht, uncut 8.5 doggie dick.” Woof. [C’list]

The poor dead hamster we wrote on last week has a new friend in pet heaven.

This drawing either laments a still born pussy or is evidence of a murder. Or, possibly, a child’s very mature bellow, “Kitty never even lived!”

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Joan Rivers made a bit of a boo-boo this morning when she described Russell Crowe as a “fucking piece of shit” on a British morning show. Rivers, who hasn’t aged a day since 1963, erroneously believed producers could bleep out live television. She was wrong.

The show’s red-faced hosts apologized, while Rivers joked, “say ‘allegedly’ [a fucking piece of shit].” No, Joan, we’ll take your original word for it…

Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes, in fact, they do. Well, they do when they’re human bears who gather at a gay farm in New Zealand. Autumn Farm, which has been around for 12-years, has asked its local council for a retroactive permit to dump “treated” wastewater on its land. And the nitty-gritty ain’t pretty: The Nelson Marlborough District Health Board raised concerns over the efficiency of composting toilets at the site. A neighboring property owner also raised objections to material that smelled being deposited near their boundary.

[Council member Laurie] Davidson said he believed consent could be granted, but the use of the farm by 50 campers would require an extra … Continued…

Consummate feminist and known omnisexual Liz Smith on marriage: “Here’s my advice to those about to marry: Don’t. Take the money. Take the money and buy yourself a fabulous apartment and don’t spend the money on the wedding. It is the biggest throwaway and means nothing later. It’s the biggest waste of money and effort that I’ve ever heard of.” [wowowow]

You know how The Simpsons has that couch gag? Well, some blessed fan has spliced them all together to make this super incredibly amazing montage of every set-up ever.

Hey, it’s Friday, what else are you going to do?

From The Editor: Because everyone loves elementary art, the front window of my neighborhood vet currently features some childrens’ renderings of their pets.

As you can see, one local child recently lost their hamster and, like so many people, has a hard time grappling the concept of death. The picture’s far too precious for me to hog, so I’m passing it along.

Before you get bummed out by death and all that, please note that the little bugger went happily.

Here’s a burning question: should a lady whose man likes men engage in a threesome with him?

“Hell to the motherfucking no,” according to cigar-smoking, curse-spitting feminist Alexyss Tylor, whose YouTube series “Bitches Verses Sissies” explores many interesting topics, all of which have demonstrative titles, like “girls let yo bowels loose in dat mans bathroom.” A greater inspirational leader we have not met…

Watch Tylor’s nearly ten minute rant on the threesome subject, after the jump.

Oh, and you can be sure this lady’s language is anything but ladylike. In other words, NSFW.
Continued…

UK Gladiator Spartan got a bit rough with a contestant this week, leaving his bum exposed for all the world to see. Don’t you love television.

Watch the clip after the jump.
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Padma Lakshmi hosted Empire State Pride Agenda’s Equality@Work luncheon this week. Unfamiliar with the GLBT acronym - and a bit tipsy - the Top Chef beauty came up with a great new phrase: “the Great BLT.” Delicious!

If there’s one thing in which Us Weekly shouldn’t be involved, it’s politics.

So, naturally, the magazine has decided to judge the candidates based on their fashion — because the state of the country doesn’t matter if Barack Obama and John McCain aren’t looking good.

The target this week is Obama, who had the audacity to bicycle around Chicago in “ill-fitting jeans, a tucked in golf shirt and big tennis shoes.” The horror!

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We all now we all know that former Barbie beau Ken likes to lift his shirt. What you may not know, however, is the exact moment he realized his yen for men.
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Hold on to your hats, ladies and gents, because it’s time for some good old fashioned Trolling Tuesday!

This week brings us all sorts of Craigslist madness. Like what? Like this straight-forward offering: “use my mouth like you would your toilet.” It’s almost poetic in its simplicity.

Get an even more ickier taste of gnarliness, after the jump.

Oh, and as you can imagine, the language ain’t safe for work. Or anyone with a weak tum-tum. Don’t worry, though, we didn’t attach any of the pictures we came across. Even we’re not that cruel.
Continued…

Republican presidential candidate John McCain knows he needs to woo at least some of Hillary Clinton’s supporters if he wants to win the White House. So, as a way of lending a hand, the kids over at 23/6 came up with some loyalty oaths for Clinton’s most die-hard fans, like women, white dudes and, yes, the gays.

Sign away!

“A US research base in Antarctica just got a shipment of 16,500 condoms to get its staff of just 125 through the upcoming long, dark winter. The condoms are being provided to keep people from being embarrassed about buying them at the McMurdo base station. ‘Since everybody knows everyone, it becomes a bit uncomfortable,’ said McMurdo’s manager, Bill Henriksen.” We guess the old saying’s true: scientists do it better. [NY Post]