Madonna and Gucci teamed up last night to raise controversial moolah for UNICEF and African nation Malawi. And, as you can see, all the big names were there. While we weren’t in attendance (our invitation must have gotten lost in the mail), our sources tell us everyone had a gay old time. Except for Gwyneth Paltrow, whose silk bow reportedly tried to decapitate the actress.

Function over form?
… Continued…

Actors, singers, diplomats and various celebrities will turn out in full force February 9th for the Gucci-hosted “A Night to Benefit Raising Malawi and UNICEF.” Held at New York’s UN headquarters, the event will rake dough for Madonna and Kabbalah-guru Michael Berg’s non-profit, Raising Malawi. Fox News’ Roger Friedman, however, claims the two are up to no good: …Neither Gucci nor UNICEF is aware — even though it’s been noted here many times — that Raising Malawi is merely a front for Philip Berg’s Kabbalah Center of Los Angeles. In fact, before anyone writes a check: Raising Malawi is also still not a registered charity. All of its forms, filings and press … Continued…

Malawian politicos ain’t feeling British High Commissioner nominee Jack McConnell.

Presidential candidate Friday Jumbe jumped at the chance to challenge Scottish McConnell’s pro-’mo policies, which include a push to overturn anti-gay sodomy laws: To have a man who supports gay rights to come to Malawi is dangerous for us. He can easily use his influence as high commissioner to force legislation and that’s my biggest fear. I don’t want him and I know I am speaking for my party and many legislators that we cannot allow such a person in Malawi. As The Scotsman points out, however, Jumbe’s opposition may be motivated by McConnell’s close relationship with Jumbe’s political rival Bingu wa Mutharika. What’s … Continued…

Just when you thought it was safe to adopt an African baby!

It seems Madonna - the little known American singer who recently “adopted” a child from Malawi - may not have explained everything to Yohane Banda, the father of her new tot, David. Even though Banda supported Madonna just last week, as international groups raised a stink against Madonna for what seemed like a great colonial kidnapping, he now claims he’s been duped, insisting he didn’t understand what Madonna meant by “adopting.”

Banda was under the impression that Madonna was going to raise the kid and then give him back to Banda. He says:
Had they told us that Madonna wanted to adopt … Continued…

Alright, so by now we all know that Madonna’s adopted/stolen a baby from Malawi.

So, how does Madge feel now that’s she gotten her new guppie? In a statement, the pop-star insisted, “It’s so worth it. He’s just the best baby ever. Guy and I have never been happier.”

See the above picture? That’s the new baby. Who’s that woman holding the baby? Not Madonna. But don’t worry, Madonna’s really, really excited about the baby. So excited, in fact, that she can only hold its bottle.

She probably can’t concentrate as she plots her next baby crime-spree. The Daily Mail reports:
And she … Continued…

Another day, another Madonna adopts a Malawian baby rumor. First a government official says that Madge came to the small African country to find a baby boy, then her publicist says that ain’t nothing but bullshit, and now we’ve got yet another report that she’ll be bringing more than just a few knick-knacks back from her trip.
Malawian government officials said last week the pop star planned to adopt a Malawian boy while she is in the impoverished African nation visiting projects she funds for AIDS orphans. However, they declined to comment on Yohame Banda’s claim that his son David had been adopted by the singer.
You gotta hand it to Madonna. … Continued…