We hope you haven't eaten your breakfast, readers, because this is revolting, even for us. Mike Jones, the whore who took down Evangelical leader Ted Haggard, once claimed to have had relations with toilet trolling Senator Larry Craig.

Though many months have passed since that story hit the big time, Michelangelo Signorile's reliving the nightmarish details with this:

…Did you know that, according to former male escort and Ted Haggard exposer Mike Jones, Senator Larry Craig, co-sponsor of the all-new Marriage Protection Act, put his tongue up Jones' butt hole and gave him a Senate-class rim job?

Yes, that's what Mike Jones told me several months back when he came on the show, and he hadn't said it in any other media outlet as far as I know — or rather, he tried, but they just didn't want to report it….Cocksucking was enough; they drew the line at analingus.
…
I realized at the time that this was a wet and juicy scoop of sorts, but I sat on it, for reasons I don't really know.

Great. Now we're officially sterile.

Meanwhile, an Idaho-based button manufacturer accidentally printed a picture of Craig alongside Barack Obama. The campaign materials were meant for Democrat Larry LaRocco, who's running for Senate. Craig, of course, isn't running due to his sex sting arrest last year…

PS: Signorile has audio of Jones' butt eating allegations. Give it a listen, if you dare.

Oh, Lord! Did uber-conservative Republican Jesse Helms like to dress as a woman? "Yes," according to a Massachusetts-based make-up artist who phoned into homo-journo Michelangelo Signorile's radio show.

The story goes like this: the caller, known only as "Brian," put an add in the paper to film a "video instruction" for straight men looking to learn how to dress like women, one of the men who replied was a creepy Southern man who looked vaguely familiar. "Brian" did the deed, video taped it so the man could watch it at home and received $300 for the pancaked pleasure. It wasn't until the next day, after reading an article about how North Carolinian Senator Jesse Helms had been visiting Massachusetts - and staying at the same hotel where the make-over went down! - that "Brian" recognized his client.

He goes on to explain that he never came forward for fear of being mistaken for a hooker and other nebulous "repercussions," nor does he expect anyone to believe him. But it did happen, he says. True or not, Signorile's bewilderment's worth the watch. Pay particular attention to his reaction around the 1:30 mark. He's not sure whether to jump up in glee or call "bullshit."

Some dumb schmuck called into Michelangelo Signorile's radio show yesterday to declare he won't vote for Barack Obama. Why? Because the Senator "can't play the game," whatever that means.

Signorile does an excellent job tearing him down. Unfortunately, this man says he's trusting his "gut." God, people are stupid!

Bob Barr obviously believes in selective memory.

The Libertarian presidential nominee told voters last week that he opposes the Defense of Marriage Act, a piece of legislation he wrote while the Republican Governor of Georgia. The turnaround garnered him some praise and gave Libertarian voters hope that their candidate would fight for their free-wheeling, states rights values. Too bad Barr doesn't really buy what he's selling.

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We love a good homo-politic cat fight, don't you?

Former Reprise Records president and activist Howie Klein appeared on Michelangelo Signorile's radio show yesterday to rail against Human Rights Campaign for not endorsing North Carolina Senatorial hopeful Jim Neal, who happens to be gay. HRC claims they couldn't make up their mind between Neal and his party rival, Kay Hagan, a veteran Senator.

So, rather than making an endorsement, they're going to let North Carolinian voters decide. And Klein's not having it.

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The ongoing battle between Matt Foreman and Congressman Barney Frank rages on!

The adorably cantankerous Frank appeared on Michelangelo Signorile's radio show yesterday to rebuff Foreman's remarks that Frank's "squeamish" about trans rights. Frank defended his position, of course, but also made sure to take some swipes at Foreman, including his past political judgment in endorsing former New York Governor George Pataki over Democrat Carl McCall. Frank claims Foreman went for Pataki to strike a political compromise while heading up Empire State Pride Agenda. Frank called Foreman's move "a very significant mistake in my judgment from the standpoint of in our coalition building."

Grrrrl!

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The election season continues to heat up - and journo Michelangelo Signorile's sweating all the political drama. That's why the Sirius radio host will host representatives for the main Democratic contenders: Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards. We've included all the gory details after the jump…

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Remember David Phillips, the DC-based homo who admirably admitted to having sex with Idahoan senator Larry Craig?

Well, the good man spent some time chatting with journo Michelangelo Signorile last week. Always one for a scintillating scandal - and nailing hypocritical politicos - Pam Spaulding posted the audio, part of which we've posted here. If you want to hear the all about Craig's paranoid, bitchy gay ways, we suggest you head on over and give them a listen. It gets way juicy in part two…

Joe Solmonese may be a bit bruised this morning after Michelangelo Signorile's verbal beating yesterday.

The homo-journo called on the HRC president to explain his organization's ENDA flip-flop, how he balances his lobbying with civil rights activism and why HRC will count defending trans rights against Congressional politicos. Listen to this Pam's House Blend provided audio. As Ms. Spaulding says, "Joe Solmonese definitely didn't sound like a happy camper."

Legendary and litigious music producer Danny Fields will appear on Michelangelo Signorile's Sirius radio show today at 4:30 to discuss his ridiculous lawsuit against Out magazine.

In case you don't recall, Fields claims the gay glossy tarnished his name by implying he used his punk rock powers to woo young boys.

As we and Portfolio's Jeff Bercovici pointed out, however, Fields once bragged about doing just that. In Please Kill Me: Uncensored Oral History of Punk, Fields recalls fun-loving days at Max's Kansas City:

You could have sex with all the bus boys… Anybody who walked into that room, you could fuck, because they all wanted to get into the back room. And you would say, "You'll have to fuck me and I'll let you sit at a good table."

Will Fields offer a logical explanation or continue his $100 million quest? Find out today at 4:30.

Barack Obama's campaign may have made another blunder yesterday.

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Our brave editor Andrew Belonsky has now returned from his Michelangelo Signorile-sponsored debate with Michael Lucas. So, what's he have to say?

I wish Michael weren't so full of it so I could have spoken more. Oh well. He refused to shake my hand at the end, which I thought was really very classy. He also told me he doesn't like my use of a horse's ass when discussing his insane, irrational and hateful opinions. Poor thing's so self-absorbed, he doesn't realize I do that for loads of people! But, as we all know, Michael's very particular about his pictures, so I'm proposing a new one: scum. Or smegma.

Belonsky ain't the only one with some words on the interview. A lovely reader sent us a list of the things he's learned from Michael Lucas.

Read it and weep, after the jump…

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Just a heads up, readers! Our brave editor Andrew Belonsky will be going toe-to-toe with Michael Lucas to discuss what we've described as Lucas' "virulent, disturbing Islamophobia".

Tune in to Michelangelo Signorile's Sirius radio show today at 4:30 to hear it get laid out.

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