No one wants to sleep with Perez Hilton, even though he’s filthy, stinking rich. [MG]

We’ve known for years that we hate Perez Hilton, and it’s quite obvious that Perez Hiton hates Perez Hilton, but who knew that Perez Hilton’s readers also hate Perez Hilton?

After the jump, some fan reactions to the news that the Gossip Gangster is the subject of an upcoming musical.

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Jesse Metcalfe doesn’t have a very big funny bone.

The soon-to-be washed up actor went a bit mad after blogger Perez Hilton joked about his potential homosexuality.
…Hilton was left in a panic when Metcalfe threatened to murder him - after he “joked” the actor was gay.
…
Hilton was unnerved when Desperate Housewives hunk Metcalfe took speculation over his sexuality seriously.

[Says Hilton] “That was quite negative energy. He was drunk and said he wanted me dead. I was quite shocked. I’d only joked that he might be gay, what’s the big deal?” Perhaps Metcalfe’s simply trying to emulate his new butch image. Or maybe Hilton hit a nerve…

Remember last week, when we babbled about our big gay night out and mentioned ditching our TrimWater, which we received in the Fashion Cares gift bag? No? Here’s what we wrote: “…We did get a gift bag, which was clearly suited for our media credentials: shampoo, a gym membership and something called ‘TrimWater,’ which we were too scared to even carry.”

Well, TrimWater’s publicist came across our little blurb and wrote us the following note:
I saw that you found the TrimWater in your gift bags – but don’t be scared!

It’s actually a great tasting low-cal, low-sugar flavored water.

Chris Wile of the Fashion Cares board told me at the event that he was chugging it as they prepped for the evening and it helped him skip dinner! Also, Christian Siriano and Carson Kressly [sic] loved it and we recently sent some product to Perez Hilton at his own request!

On top of that, 10% of all online TrimWater purchases through the summer go directly to Fashion Cares.

I attached a press release and a picture of Christian in all his fabulous glory.

So give it a try, don’t be afraid and get ready to fit into some new leather pants for next year’s event….. Oh, unnamed publicist, there are so many things wrong with this missive.

First and foremost, we do not aspire to be like Perez Hilton or Carson Kressley. On the contrary. Second, we don’t wear leather pants. They’re tacky. And, on a related note, we don’t need to lose weight. We just need fatter friends.

Read the aforementioned - and outdated - press release, after the jump…
Continued…

No joke - Perez Hilton passed a lie detector test and proved his many claims about John Mayer, like that they kissed as Jessica Simpson rubbed Mayer’s crotch. Here’s a sample of the results. Emphasis added:. Did you kiss John Mayer on the mouth? YES (True)
Did you use your tongue? YES (True)
Did John Mayer use his tongue? YES (True)
…
Was Jessica Simpson rubbing John Mayer’s crotch as you were making out? YES (True)
Do you think John enjoyed the kiss? YES (True)
Is John a good kisser? YES (True)
Are you speaking out to get publicity? NO (False) The ugly truth, indeed.

John Mayer fans may be thrilled to hear that the singer kissed a boy. The rest of us are horrified to hear it was Perez Hilton, who declares Mayer “bisexual:” He is definitely bi,” Hilton declared on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM radio show, adding that Mayer is “struggling with his sexuality.”

Of their liplock at NYC club Stereo last year, Hilton said, “He kissed me, and I kissed him back. It was on the mouth with tongue.

“I thought he was messing with me,” Hilton went on. “Then he kept going and going.” Some people are wondering whether Perez and Mayer are playing for Ashton Kutcher’s team, Pop Fiction. That sounds likely, because we … Continued…

We wrote about Barack Obama’s association with anti-gay Reverend James Meeks over a week ago and Perez Hilton, Washington Times and other websites are finally catching up.

What a tangled World Wide Web, huh?

As you all heard this morning, Perez Hilton and fellow blogger JJ Jaxson had a series of conversation in which Hilton goaded Jaxson into making and distributing a self-promoting sex tape.

We don’t have any video, but we do have the transcripts of four conversations between the boys, some of which contain a few NSFW pics - and very lewd, unflattering language. The gents talk cock, Chris Crocker, meeting up, how to send an anonymous tip - all sorts of stuff.

Enjoy second-hand infamy, after the jump…
Continued…

Christ, it is far too early for this shit!

NY Post reports that the hideously famous Perez Hilton promised fellow “journo” Jonathan Jaxson publicity in exchange for a sex tape.

Despite - or perhaps because of - his past as a publicist, Jaxson agreed. Fool. Jaxson may get the last laugh, though, because now he’s milking the story for all it’s worth!
Continued…

Perez Hilton is reportedly in talks with Warner Brothers Records to form his own imprint: “The talks are preliminary, and an agreement is not certain, but Mr. Lavandeira could receive $100,000 a year as an advance against 50 percent of any profits generated by artists he discovers and releases through Warner Brothers, [sources] said.” Well, it could be worse: it could be a movie deal! [NY Times]

Blogger Perez Hilton popped into the MAC make-up booth at Bryant Park and backstage at Baby Phat this weekend. And, like any good tourist, Hilton saddled up to some of the fashion world’s biggest homos, like Danilo, Gregory Arit, Robert Verdi, Philip Bloch and some drag queen named Kimora.

New York never looked less desirable.

[Images]

Lesbian party person Samantha Ronson must pay Perez Hilton’s court cost after a judge tossed Ronson’s defamation suit against Hilton. Ronsoe sued the blogger after he claimed she planted cocaine in Lindsay Lohan’s car.

Albus Dumbledore may be the most popular gay these days. He’s certainly getting enough press.

While the Harry Potter character’s outing may bring JK Rowling even more fans, Out’s Aaron Hicklin thinks gays have always loved the Potter books. He tells Jeff Bercovici: I suspect (but have no proof) that the books have a particular appeal to gay readers for all the obvious reasons. Gay men are able to identify a) with children’s fiction because invariably the hero is the outsider; and b) with fantasy because it posits an alternate universe, usually one in which wrongs can be righted. And people have powers and shit, which is cool.

Meanwhile, Hicklin also chatted with Bercovici about this … Continued…

• Actress JoAnne Worley fulfilled her The Drowsy Chaperone obligations and made a “special appearance” at J&R Music and Computer World yesterday. We love you Worley, but you look like a drag queen in this picture.

• Preliminary investigation begins for Larry Craig ethics hearing. Barbara Boxer says: We are in the process of conducting a preliminary inquiry, and this stage is always closed to the public. If, at the end of the preliminary inquiry, the Ethics Committee decides to move into the adjudicatory phase, any hearings held would be public unless the committee votes to close them. But that is a decision that is made after we have completed our preliminary inquiry. The Democrats are also reportedly worried public hearings will set a potentially embarrassing precedent.

• More evidence of Jossip editor Rebecca Aronauer’s jerky ways.
Continued…

The headline says it all.

[BWE via MG]