The headline says it all.

[BWE via MG]

New York's obviously making Lance Bass feisty, because the transient 'Orker blasted New York journo Jada Yuan over this week's Intelligencer blurb.

In said blurb, journo recounts Bass' statements on his new New York living, including his dislike for floral prints and the fact the singer's only been to Justin Timberlake's restaurant a "few times". Well, Bass apparently doesn't like his own summation, because he launched one of the bitchiest attacks we've seen Sledd v. Perez.

Only more intelligent. Slightly.

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We absolutely refuse to post a William Sledd video on this site. We will, however, direct you to the, like, queer commentator's newest video.*

This chapter's just as boring as all his previous installments except for two things. First, Perez Hilton tells it like it is: Sledd needs to stop caking his face in Sephora.

Second, Sledd refers to a group of Japanese girls as "harajuku girls". The stereotype stereotypes! What a fucking surprise.

*It's best if you view the video at least one hour before or after eating. Trust us.

There's no doubt Perez Hilton's left an indelible - and, at times, irritating - mark on popular culture. In addition to his staggeringly successful blog, the shit-stirrer recently landed a VH1 reality show, appeared on The View and received a "surprise" visit from Victoria Beckham. So, how does Hilton, born Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr, stay humble? He doesn't.

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• Kentucky's Creation Museum's take on homos leaves something to be desired. Like a new curator. (Although, we do love this graffiti inspired warning.)

• Jossip intern Joseph has a date! But the poor thing has nothing to wear! We voted for white shirt (with minimal pit stainage)". What say you?

• Perez Hilton has at least one testicle.

• Henry Rollins handles gay rumors like a pro, "Never once in my 46 years have I wanted a dick in my mouth."

• Julie (Not Downtown) Brown wants to be gay.

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• Kyra Sedgwick, Academy of Television Arts & Sciences CEO Dick Askin and Jon Cryer are thrilled to be reading announcing the Emmy nominations.

• Fattie v. Fattie: Perez Hilton challenges Jason Davis to hot dog eating contest. And, also, a race. He's so health conscious!

• "First gay Latin star" Jade Esteban Estrada to play villain in Bruiser and Scratch video game.

• Cathy Horyn recalls Versace murder.

• God bless Tammy Faye: dying of lung cancer, weighing next to nothing, still going strong and appearing on Larry King tonight.

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• Because schadenfreude's much, much funnier when its Japanese.

• Costa Rican lawmakers put forth same-sex nuptial bill.

• Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum will be one of New York Gay Pride's grand marshals. Mazel tov!

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Feeling a little antsy waiting for the great escape from office hell? Yeah, us, too. Or, we were until we saw this video from tonight's episode of Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency in which Dickinson, The Abbey owner, David Cooley and blogging brother Perez Hilton hold a little audition for aussieBum underwear. Needless to say it's eye-popping, among other body parts.

Speaking of body parts, we have to warn you that Hilton tries to teach the models a thing or two and grabs his penis. You may want to avert your eyes. It's pretty unsettling.

(Also, don't be alarmed if the video takes a few seconds to load. The 21st century ain't what it's cracked up to be…)

It's a Human Rights Campaign explosion up in here. Sorry to overload your morning, but we couldn't resist posting this picture of the Heatherette Boys, the venerable Amanda Lepore and HRC president Joe Solmonese. A photog snapped it at the non-profit's NYC gala dinner - a cousin of the Philly gala dinner at which John Amaechi will be appearing.

Question: how many fucking gala dinner's can one organization have? Oh, right, they're "the largest civil rights organization working to achieve gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equality". We forgot.

Heatherette designers Richie Rich and Traver Rains were there celebrating their "Heatherette Hearts HRC" t-shirt collabo of which Rich says:

Traver and I obviously would not be where we are today without the inspiration and support of our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender friends and customers. Heatherette has always been about equality — we’ve never geared our collection to one demographic.

Well, no, we suppose not, but one must admit that chaps may not be the biggest hit in Kansas. Oh, wait…

Back to the picture: it's not quite as iconic as the Perez Hilton, Joan Rivers, Michael Musto trifecta, but there must be a word for it. It's on the tip of our tongues, but we can't quite figure it out. So, reader, why don't you give us a hand. Or, rather, word. (We'll also accept a phrase - we can't stop thinking about Sesame Street, if you know what we mean.)

More pics after the jump…

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Oh man, seems like Clay Aiken may be up to his old tricks, if you will. Gossip monger Perez Hilton has posted a set of photographs and text from what seems to be Aiken's attempt to get a little cock action.

Writing under the disgustingly saccharine and totally unsexy name, happychappy2, a man looking suspiciously like the American Idol runner-up wrote, "I do have pics - but I have a VERY recognizable face and can't post them". He then said he'd send them along if his would-be butt buddy promised complete discretion. Unfortunately internet based promises don't mean shit, thus, the conversation and some webcam pictures are now readily available here.

While we can't say for sure, it seems to us that the boy is, in fact, Aiken. Of course, this can mean only one thing. Okay, two things: one, obviously he's a big cocksucker (or, at the very least, extremely curious) and, two, he's got no brain.

Seriously, there's endless speculation over your sexuality and you still put yourself and your career at risk by trolling Manhunt? Dumb, dumb, dumb. Good thing the boy's duped millions into thinking he can "sing", because doesn't seem like he's got much else happening for him…

Claire Zulkey just sent us a link to her interview with gossip-monger, Perez Hilton. While we're not big Perez readers, we're sure some of you out there probably are, so we're passing it along (you're welcome). We will, however, mention that we find this excerpt…um, well, not so much intriguing as perplexing:

Zulkey: Which celebrities that you've hung out with thus far can you say seem like the most genuine/down to earth?
Hilton: John Stamos. He's a dear, dear friend, super nice, honest, normal, sweet, generous, amazing guy.

What?!? John Stamos and Perez Hilton are friends? Not only are they friends, they're "dear, dear" friends? Two "dears"? That's practically fucking marriage!

Who can we count among our "dear, dear" friends? (No, seriously, can somebody tell us, because we're at a loss…)

Oh, also: Hilton apparently has a reality-show in the works. (No comment.)

While Mike Rogers busies himself attacking Ken Mehlman, a mysterious blogger has his or her claws out for a fight with Perez Hilton.

Given the celeb-obsessed bloggers biting comments an uncanny ability to piss people off, it's no surprise to hear that a Fuck Perez Hilton blog's stepped up to fire back.

We've never had a problem with Perez Hilton (although, a reader did recently ask us why we're always trashing him, an accusation that caught us off guard considering that we rarely utter his name), but we're inclined to say that he had this coming.

You can't make a career of being a meanie without a little backlash. What surprises us, however, is the severity of the remarks. For example, the writer had this to say about "Pig-face's" physical appearance:

I wish I could say that a little "Dr. 90210" would do him good, but there's no hope for this thing. I mean, he's even gotten nasty, pudgy little girly-hands.

Yikes. That's some cold shit. We're scared even posting this, lest we get targeted next.

• Ahhhh! Perez Hilton's penis! [Faded Youth]

• Activists accuse Chile of not protecting the homos. Gee, what a surprise… [365 Gay]

• Like so many hellish experiences, this one started in Chelsea. [The New Yorker]

• Prepare yourself for Mika: Gayville's newest pop star. [New Now Next]

• Madonna's baby daddy fears son's return. Today, at least. [Yahoo News]

• Mark Simpson wants Bond inside of him. James Bond, of course. [Out]

• Gay Australian soldier speaks out on Iraq. [The Gay Military Times]

It's well known on the Internet that gossip blogger Perez Hilton (aka Mario Lavandeira) is pulling a Single White Female on Paris Hilton, first befriending her, then idolizing her, only to try and assume her identity by wearing a wig and going down on her boyfriend. He has now gone one step further in becoming Ms. Hilton by flopping his privates all over the Internet.

Yes, Perez Hilton has an active Manhunt profile, but the intrigue doesn't stop there. He is trying to fool poor, unsuspecting Manhunt members into believing that this:

is actually this:

and that his manhood, which you can see after the jump [NSFW], is "8 inches." For someone with his finger on the pulse of "all media," we find this all shockingly out of date.

'Ate Too Much Pez' Hilton X-Posed [ELH]
PEREZ HILTON EXPOSED [Faded Youth]

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We’ve heard one too many stories about Clay Aiken and John Paulus. Enough is enough. Madonna does not even get this much coverage on blogs.

And while John Paulus makes his porn debut this week thanks to our pal Michael Lucas, Perez Hilton returns to posting the items that we love from him. Let’s not forget it was Perez who broke this story after all. We may hate on Perezzle from time to time, but when he’s good, he’s good. We just wish he would think before getting dressed.

Perez has a press release, whether fake or not, that is bound to make you laugh. Seems like there may be a group of Claymates interested in suing Aiken’s handlers for false advertising.

The whole text is after the jump.

Real or Really Effed Up [Perez Hilton]
John Paulus’ Auditon [Lucas Blog] NSFW

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