While some gay celebrities are jumping straight into marriage, Rosie O’Donnell and her gal pal Kelli Carpenter are waiting until everyone can marry: “[We’re] going to wait until it’s legal everywhere, because otherwise, I said to Kelli, we’ll be going around touring the country on the marriage tour every state by state. Once it gets to be at the federal level, once every state recognizes the marriages of every other state, I think that’ll be the time we would do it.” Wow. We actually agree with Rosie O’Donnell. What is the world coming to?! [AP]

Meanwhile, in other scary news, Rosie O’Donnell and Fran Drescher announced plans to produce and star in a new half-hour sitcom. The two pals hope to star in The New Thirty.

Drescher… says, “We play old high school friends who live in the same building in Manhattan, but we’re living very different lives.”

The actress tells Life & Style magazine, “It’s kind of Sex and the City but we ain’t getting any! It’ll probably be more like The Odd Couple.” Sounds perfect for a mid-season crisis!

Rosie O’Donnell appears on Rachael Ray’s television show tomorrow and breaks the heart-breaking news that she’s no longer in love with Tom Cruise, her famed straight crush. And she coldly told him via email: “Tom knows, I wrote him an e-mail: ‘Sorry it’s happened, I didn’t think it would.’” That’ll learn Cruise not to be such a raving lunatic. [MSNBC]

A fan asked famed lesbian Rosie O’Donnell what she makes of Star Jones‘ impending divorce from Al Reynolds. O’Donnell, employing her poetic gibberish, replied: “we all fool rselves/sometimes.” What, oh what, could she be talking about? [R Blog via Gawker]

Famous lesbian Rosie O’Donnell denied The Globe’s front page allegations that she bullied her son. The story - entitled “Raging Rosie Bullies Her Boy” - spurred this response: “The story is absolutely ludicrous and ridiculous. There is no truth to it whatsoever.” [HuffPo]

The Center For Disease Control went on high alert today after Clay Aiken and Rosie O’Donnell exhibited symptoms of severely annoying silly face. Though initially thought to be gay face, these images prove there’s something for more sinister at work.

The Vatican has also been called in for good measure.

Be. Very. Afraid.

[Images]

The time is upon us once again for the second time: Out magazine’s annual Power Issue. While we didn’t make the cut of the 50 most powerful homos, funny lesbian Ellen DeGeneres did - and, in fact, takes the cake, beating out the likes of Joe Solmonese, editor Adam Moss and fallen queen of the lesbians, Rosie O’Donnell.

Also in this issue, Michael Musto offers a follow-up to last year’s The Glass Closet, which called out people like Jodie Foster and Anderson Cooper for not coming out. This year’s essay, Shattered Glass, examines the parameters of coming out. Sure, Jodie Foster intimated at her lesbianic ways, but does it matter if … Continued…

Rosie O’Donnell and girlfriend Kelli Carpenter made a Clay Aiken sandwich yesterday.

We’re suddenly not feeling very hungry…

[Images]

Carson Kressley will lead Cyndi Lauper and her True Colors crew around the United States this summer. The B-52’s and Rosie O’Donnell have signed on for the fun, which officially makes this tour the gayest in history. [NY Blade]

Celeb-war mongering Rosie O’Donnell’s got a new target: Larry King.

O’Donnell took to her blog this weekend to criticize the legendary “journo” for making fun of Fran Drescher’s Spanish-language Clinton endorsement. O’Donnell posted a poll on her Web site over the weekend asking readers to vote on whether King should “retire soon.”

The poll appears under a picture of King and a headline that reads: “It’s getting tough 2 watch.”

The site said about 8,400 votes were recorded and 88 percent said yes to the retirement question. Alright, we know Larry King ain’t a hard-hitting journalist, but who else would tell Snoop Dogg that he always “gives [it] to the Jew”. … Continued…

Community Marketing just sent out a very sapphic press release: “Community Marketing researchers are often asked, “What’s new in lesbian and gay market trends?” This year, the most important insights come from new, statistically significant research findings into lesbian consumers. Based on this new wealth of research and analysis, we are calling 2008 “The Year of the Lesbian…” With the help of CM’s new findings, marketers can mine useful information about lesbianic buying habits. For example, did you know that the top three lesbian magazines are People, AARP, and O Magazine. Queen lesbian and failed magazine publisher Rosie O’Donnell had no comment.

We never took Rosie O’Donnell as a booze hound, but apparently the lesbian comedienne thinks otherwise. She admitted to a fan recently that she’s been drinking too much and hopes to stop - and lose weight as a result: “[O’Donnell] made the confession on her blog after telling one fan she’d shed pounds by giving up beer… [Another fan asked] “So, Rosie, alcoholic or not? Just spit it out!…What led to you stopping the beer? You’ll only help someone else.” To which O’Donnell admitted: ” ‘Cause I was drinking too much, ’cause I didn’t want to any more, ’cause it is hard to lose weight when drinking, ’cause I can never have only one.” [Page Six]

We know you theater fags are mourning Rent’s incomprehensible closing, but we’ve got some news that may make your day. Rosie O’Donnell will pen and perform an autobiographical solo show! Hoo-blah!
Continued…

• A 16-year old Australian got into big trouble after throwing a rager at his parents’ home. Despite the fact that his parents hate his guts and he owes coppers $20,000, the kids has absolutely no contrition. When asked if he has advice for other kids who want to follow suit, he replies: “Have me do it.” Why? “Because it was the best party”. Sweet!

• We want the Macbook Air.

• Orlando Jones to play gay. Yay!

• DJ Jared Abbott loves living in Madrid, being in style.

• Morocco upholds conviction for six “gay” men.
Continued…

Oh, happy day! After months of feuding, Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck are friends again: O’Donnell threatened never to speak to Hasselbeck again after they had a heated argument on the hit TV show “The View.”

But the comedienne has had a change of heart since leaving the talk show last year and has bought Hasselbeck’s two-month-old son Taylor Thomas a present to show there are no hard feelings.

O’Donnell tells People.com, “He’s very, very cute. I saw him on TV, and I sent him a lovely gift, and we (she and Hasselbeck) have been e-mailing each other. And peace prevails.” Could little Taylor Thomas be the second coming?