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Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell better keep a watchful eye on his microphone! The American Idol honcho suggested one of his co-judges tell David Hernandez they "liked the way he stripped it down," a not-so-subtle reference to Hernandez's gay stripper past. Those Brits got class! [Pop Watch]

Can America Handle Gay 'Idol'?

The Associated Press continues to revel in gay Idol fever.

Today, the news agency asks whether or not the public can handle having an openly homo American Idol contestant. Former participant and current queer Jim Verranos insists the show's moving closer toward a closet-free environment, "It feels like we're closer now than ever to having an openly gay contestant on the show…I feel like there are some definite possibilities for this to happen this year." Well, yeah. It's not as if former stripper Daniel Hernandez can deny his homosexuality now, right? (And don't front like he could be gay-for-pay. We're not buying it.)

Homo-journo Michael Jensen of AfterElton flame isn't so much concerned with Americans' reactions, but with the show's internal attitudes:

The show hasn't seemed very conducive or gay friendly to contestants coming out. Simon and Randy have not hesitated to mock effeminate contestants and crack the occasional gay joke. It has not communicated to contestants that it would be a good place to come out.

That's definitely a valid point, although some of those queens make for such easy punchlines!

Idol producers told the AP that they don't comment on contestant's personal lives, but the news agency reminds readers that Idol thrives on weekly back stories. Why none of those have been pink-tinged remains a matter of contention.

You Want Marcus Patrick and He Knows It

Marcus Patrick admits that he loves publicity, even when it's bad. And you can bet he got plenty of it after posing for Playgirl last year. Not only did some tabloids rake him, but he wonders whether the fill frontal spread cost him his job on Days of Our Lives. Producers say otherwise.

Regardless, the British born actor has moved on and is currently in New York to promote the DVD of his most recent flick, Descent, which also stars Rosario Dawson. As part of his publicity tour, Patrick will be appearing at the mind-numbingly popular Splash Bar in New York this evening, where he'll shake his money maker for many-a-homo.

We're not ones for slip and slide, so our editor opted to meet Patrick at a nice, sanitary office earlier this super Tuesday. Old Belonsky braved Patrick's devastating good looks, fruit munching and not-so-subtle crotch caressing to get to the thick of Marcus Patrick. The results are - expansive.

Patrick discusses his boy band days, being kidnapped, Britney Spears, blow jobs and his fascination with "real life" - after the jump, of course.

CONTINUED »

Simon Cowell Does Not Want Dudes
It's Your Lucky Day, Ladies!

Sorry to break your hearts, boys, but American Idol's Simon Cowell again shot down rumors that he shoots it for men. He does, however, blame his mother for his fey ways. From Daily Mail's Pulitzer-worthy pages:

…We finally build up to the gay question. He sees it coming five miles off, and to his credit, laughs about being regarded as effeminate.

"It's probably my mother's influence," he laughs. (She is a former dancer, and he does tend to glide around the room, although you could just put that down to expensive shoes). But no, he says he is not gay.

"If I was, why hide it? It's not as if the music business would be an odd place for a gay man to work. And anyway, if I was trying to hide the fact that I was gay, I would be off playing rugby every Saturday, wouldn't I?"

That's what we did when were in the closet - well, not rugby. American football. All that wrestling around with men really helped us quench those desires. Then, after we came out, we stopped playing rugby, because, as proud gay men, we refuse to fuss our manicure.

Simon 'Sacked' Sharon Over Gay Jabs

Sharon Osborne and Simon Cowell may make nice on The X-Factor, but Osborne's brother claims famous fame-maker Cowell once fired Osborne for calling him him gay.

Says Obsorne's bro, David Arden:

She tells everyone he's gay. She claims he's in the closet and doesn't know yet he's homosexual, which is ridiculous.

And even though Simon has a beautiful girlfriend (model/TV presenter Terri Seymour), Sharon would openly harangue and taunt him about it.

Sharon told me that at the end of series one Simon actually got her fired for her jibes and nastiness to him and the contestants.

The producers persuaded Simon to give her a second chance as they loved the chemistry between the judges.

Even Simon Cowell couldn't argue with ratings.

Is This Girl Good?

Editor Andrew Belonsky's recollection of a conversation with Mollygood editor Cord Jefferson:

Jefferson: Andrew, you've got to hear this girl, she's incredible!
Belonsky: Okay.
[30 seconds later]
Belonsky: She's bad.
Jefferson: What? Are you out of your mind? She's only six!
Belonsky: Whatever. She's not good.
Jefferson: You're soulless.
Belonsky: Whatever.
[30 seconds later]
Jefferson: I can't believe you don't think she's good, man.
Belonsky: Is that what counts as good is these days?

Care to weigh in, readers?

Michael Barrymore Arrested For 'Murder'
Police Reopen Pool Death Investigation

Gay British entertainer Michael Barrymore has against been arrested for his alleged role in the 2001 suspected murder of Stuart Lubbock. Barrymore and two of his other party guests "found" Lubbock's body floating in Barrymore's pool during. Though the men claimed Lubbock drowned, the 31-year old also sustained serious anal injuries, leading police to wonder what exactly happened that fateful night.

Though Barrymore denied involvement in Lubbock's death, new details arose in an interview the 55-year old gay man gave to Simon Cowell's literary agent brother, Tony. Daily Mail reports:

The sensational development came just days after murder squad detectives seized the tapes held in a safe belonging to Tony Cowell.

Mr Cowell, a literary agent, made the tapes - believed to contain new information about 31-year-old Mr Lubbock's death - when he was in talks with Barrymore about writing an autobiography.

It is understood the pair spoke in depth about the infamous party that took place on 31 March 2001, at the star's Roydon home. However, they fell out and Mr Cowell put the tapes in a safe.

Essex Police seized the tapes at the weekend after learning they were in Mr Cowell's possession.

Police claim the tapes didn't lead to Barrymore's arrest, but are part of a larger investigation.

CONTINUED »

Happy Endings: The Day Romano Prodi Stepped Down!

• So, Italian PM Romano Prodi's handed in his resignation over some bullshit - apparently he wanted expand the US military base northern Italy and send more troops to Afghanistan, but some colleagues thought that the price too high. That doesn't constitute quitting, we don't think. But is sure is a convenient death for that gay marriage bill, huh? [BBC News]

• Meanwhile, things are a fright down over in Tanzania. Apparently there's a man-raping bat demon on the loose and the only way to stop it's by getting lubed up and sleeping with a bunch of men. Actually, we may have found our next travel destination… [BBC News via Can O Whoop Ass]

• From man-raping bat demons to soul-sucking brain zombies: the cinematic backdrop for The Georgraphy Club author and known homosexual, Brent Hartinger's latest title: Split Screen: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies. We haven't read it, but we're down for pretty much anything that involves zombies. [AfterEllen Blog]

• In other soul-sucking brain zombie news: Howard K. Stern. [TMZ]

• Despite all these crumbling governments and ghoulish monsters, there's still more Oprah on Ellen Promotional Madness! (Co-Starring Steadman.) [YouTube]

• At least Guantanamo's got something going for it: Gaytanamo. [Gay Porn Blog]

• Oh, right, we forgot about yesterday's weirdness: that spiteful exchange between Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest. You kids can fill in the blanks, we're sure. [IHT]

UPDATE: Don't forget to come get drunk with us at the Jimmy Im endorsed, eastern bloc housed Goodtimes. Details after the jump…

CONTINUED »

Posh Wants You, US

Poor Victoria "Mrs. David" Beckham. She really, really wants America to like her, but sometimes it seems like The States will never appreciate her utter ridiculousness. Luckily, she's got a few things up her sleeves. Or, rather, on her chest. The Daily Mail reports:

In her quest to become a U.S. television star, Victoria Beckham is prepared to use every asset at her disposal.

And that means two in particular.

Mindful of the Americans' fondness for spectacular cleavage, the 32-year-old mother of three has been taking every opportunity to show off her ever-growing breasts.

Of course, if that doesn't work, she's allegedly in talks with former Spice Girls manager and Simon Cowell's better production half Simon Fuller to start a show that's described as a "cross between Project Catwalk (The British Project Runway) and Next Top Model."

Great. Just what we need: more fluffy fashion reality television and another set of talking tits. Shit, who are we kidding? If Posh gets a show here in America, we'll be hooked even before it starts.

Cowell Picks Gay Super Bowl

During an interview on Howard Stern's Sirius radio program, Simon Colwell predicted the three finalists for this season of American Idol:

"Let me tell you who's gonna be in the finals," Cowell said. "The bald-headed kid (Chris Daughtry) and the guy with gray hair (Taylor Hicks)."

A few minutes later, he added, "I think the top three will be the two I mentioned and Kellie Pickler."

While Simon is trying to portray himself as the all-knowing soothsayer of music competitions, we presume he can read the weekly reports on how many votes are cast for each contestant. So he would know who has been in the lead so far. It's not that fancy a prediction.

Although when we TiVo Idol, we do fast-forward through comments by "Uhhhhhh, it was alright for me" Randy Jackson and "Your light shines from within" Paula Abdul, and only watch Simon's snappy critiques–unless Paula is drunk/high, in which case we watch her comments over and over. Cracked-out Paula is the best. But Simon's opinions aren't inherently any more accurate than the other judges: remember, in the preliminary audition stages, he gave "no" votes to both Chris Daughtry and Taylor Hicks. Suddenly, he's changing his tune?…

Simon picks Idol finalists

American Idol Recap: Pills, Please

This season of American Idol is amazing, but not because of the singers. The singers are good though they’d better watch out because Abdul is slowly stealing their spotlight. We’re convinced that Abdul is back to popping the pills. Either she had a Botox session go amazingly wrong or the girl has had a few recent visits from the pill fairy. We went crazy with our Tivo on Tuesday looping back and forward watching Abdul’s drug induced responses. Abdul continuously referred to the singers’ performances as “out of this world.” Secretly, we think she was referring to her state of consciousness, or lack thereof. The combination of the fidgety turret syndrome-like head movements, coupled with the bad drag queen hair and the scary pill-popping smile made it perfectly clear.

Pill popping Abdul aside, we still have to predict who will win this season. Don’t hate us for doing this, but we’re predicting Katherine McPhee will take it all. She’s cute, girl can sang and after dropping the Streisand, I’m sure she has the gays on her side. We also like her because Abdul loves her and her pill poppy behavior really shows itself when McPhee is on stage. Simon put it best:

McPhee, the final contestant to take the stage, earned Cowell's highest praise of the night, with her performance of Barbra Streisand's "Since I Fell for You. "There were four very, very good vocalists tonight," Cowell said. "And you were the best."

Our predictions aside, somebody stage an intervention with Abdul, but not until the season is over.

Ladies First on "American Idol [E! Online]
American Idol [Official Site]

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