Comedy Central aired part two of HRC honcho Joe Solmonese's sit down with tongue-in-cheek king Stephen Colbert. Watch as the boys talk about Congressional calluses, whether we gays can be blamed for Don't Ask, Don't Tell and when Colbert decided to be straight: late November of 1982. Why? He's lazy and being gay takes a lot of work.

And, of course, the comedian tries to lobby Solmonese to the straight side - they're soft, they smell good, they have vaginas. Unfortunately Somonese doesn't bite. Nor does he high-five.

"Fighting gay" lobbyist and HRC leader Joe Solmonese helped Stephen Colbert kick off his "Better Know A Lobbyist" series last night.

Watch as the boys talk about whether or not gays are human, why Joe ain't gay for Huckabee ("Because he isn't gay for us."), whether or not Solmonese's birthplace made him gay and how gay folk suck the pride from straightdom. Appletini!

Part two of the rousing interview airs tonight.

Monday's Colbert Report featured "red letter Christian" Tony Campolo, who penned Red Letter Christians: A Citizen's Guide to Faith and Politics. Campolo's book represents a break in the Christian political movement, one which has for so long exploited Biblical misreadings to crusade against the queers.

Campolo disagrees with this backward bigots, saying marriage is in trouble because of straight divorces, not because of gays. He also believes gays should get stoned - as in high on the reefer.

We like the way this guy thinks.

Out magazine asked readers to vote on who they find to be the gayest person*: Lance Bass, Stephen Colbert, Big Bird, Zac Efron, Gandhi or Bill O'Reilly. Note that O'Reilly's in the lead and Bass hasn't even ranked. This makes us wonder, of course, which definition people are using…

*The magazine's lawyers must have stepped in, because they have a disclaimer: "Obligatory ridiculous reminder and disclaimer: Only their hairdresser knows for sure who they're sleeping with!"

• We can't provide anything other than this picture, for this shit-based drug may be the grossest, most revolting thing we've ever. It leaves us wondering - pleading, begging and praying - "Why?!" [Note the slang terms. Our favorite: "Butthash".]

• Rev. Donald J. McGuire arrested for sexually assaulting boys:

A prominent Jesuit priest accused of sexually victimizing teenage boys who were his valets as he traveled the world leading Roman Catholic spiritual retreats was taken into federal custody yesterday in Chicago.

The priest, the Rev. Donald J. McGuire, was charged by the federal authorities with traveling to Switzerland and Austria to engage in sexual conduct with a minor. Father McGuire was convicted last year of sexually abusing two high school students on trips to Wisconsin.

So, he allegedly molested them and then made them drive him around? That's twisted.

• Anti-gay Russian nationalists march in Moscow.

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• Our celeb-obsessed cousin Mollygood used the above image to represent the parodic Ann Coulter video. It's the most fitting depiction of Coulter we've seen since - well, ever!

• 100 sexy men in one minute.

• It's school board versus principal in gay t-shirt scandal.

• Speaking of gay t-shirts: cement your gay geekdom with some Dumbledore Pride gear!

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While Stephen Colbert may be getting the lion's share of the press' attention (even more than actual Presidential candidate Bill Richardson), the crew at AfterElton look back on Jon Stewart and The Daily Show's greatest gayest moments. Among the highlights: Colbert's breaking news about technological advances in the field of Gaydar, leaving talking-head Bill Bennett at a loss for words and the above clip slamming the flimsy backbone of the supposed "liberal" media."A Look Back at Jon Stewart's Greatest Gay Moments" [AfterElton]

Comedian Stephen Colbert appeared on Meet The Press yesterday to discuss his hilarious presidential campaign. Russert, unfortunately, doesn't seem to have much of a sense of humor and gives Colbert a thorough thrashing on social security, mothers and gay marriage. Of the latter subject, Colbert jokes:

Marriage is the basic building block of society. And if gay men get married, that threatens my marriage immediately because I only got married as a taunt toward gay men because they couldn’t… I just don’t know else—why I got married other than to rub it in gay people’s faces.

Russert's not amused. The venerable journalist then asks Colbert if he'd take Larry Craig on as his running mate. "I would," dead-panned Colbert. Russert, too, remained emotionless, albeit for an entirely different reason.

Comedy Central comedian Stephen Colbert used his eponymous Report to announce his candidacy for president last night. In South Carolina, at least. While it may sound like a big punchline, Colbert seems serious. Via The New York Times:

Joe Werner, executive director of the South Carolina Democratic Party, said that a representative for Mr. Colbert, who was raised in Charleston, called three weeks ago to request basic information about filing dates and other requirements. Mr. Werner added, “From what I understand, he does have credible people down here, working to have him placed on the ballot."

Colbert also reportedly put feelers out through the Republican party. And they don't seem to think it's funny. Says Katon Dawson of South Carolina's GOP: "My advice is that he could probably have more fun buying a sports car and getting a girlfriend.’’ Guess they didn't build a rapport.

We had a weak moment last night and picked up GQ's gigantic 50th anniversary edition. And, surprisingly, we've enjoyed what we've seen thus far, but mostly because it's a lot of pictures of old covers and former models. Of the words we've read - not many - Stephen Colbert's captured and held our attention. Guess why…

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Stephen Colbert employed his patented dead-pan Friday to take on the Bush Administration and the president's surgeon general nominee.

As you'll see in this PageOneQ provided video, you'll see Colbert taking the piss out of our country's anti-bent bent.

I'm disappointed by how little progress we've made on the gay marriage issue. The gays continue to threaten my happy marriage by threatening to have their own happy marriages.

Colbert goes on to take the piss out of surgeon general nominee Dr. James Holsinger and his famously fanatical paper, "Pathophysiology of Male Homosexuality":

…In [the paper], Dr. Holsinger proves that male homosexuality is not only unnatural but a threat to public health… I say we get this guy appointed and let him do for homosexuality what previous surgeon generals have done for smoking. For years, we have tolerated smoking, just like we currently tolerate homosexuality, but the surgeon general alerted us to the dangers of smoking with warning labels. With Holsinger at the helm, we can use the same approach for homosexuality. Every gay man and woman should come with a label.

That'd certainly make our lives easier.

• Gerard Butler. Naked. 'Nuff said. [!! omg blog !!]

• It sure is hard being gay in suburbia. Especially when you can't find a whore to settled down with you. [Daily Herald]

• It's alright to be gay in Latin America. Just remember not to try to be too normal. [The Economist]

• Stephen Colbert on 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'. [PageOneQ]

• The Roxy's closing on Saturday. Get you glitter, glow sticks and shitty club mixes and live it up. [NY Observer]

• South African flick Black Beaulahs takes a look at the lives of three gay men in Soweto. Did you know that "beaulah" is South African slang for beautiful man? Well, now you do… [Mamba Online]

• The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force sez, "Porn stars are just like us!" [AmericaBlog]

• A Forrest Gump sequel? Vomit. [Ain't It Cool?]

• Maryland's Montgomery County School says fuck you to haters and vows to keep teaching about homosexuality. [Washington Times]

• It's that time of the month again. No, not that time - that shit usually starts flowing around the fourth week. We're talking about the new voting period for 247gay's ever-rotating cast of attractives. New additions: Pete Wentz, Eric Balfour and Ryan Diesel. We're still cheering for Days of Our Lives stud and alleged Lance Bass lover, Brandon Beemer. [247Gay]

• Does the internet hurt gays? [Fridae]

• It's certainly not doing anything to help the fag's get laid, that's for damn sure. [Pink News UK]

• The Power Issue subject, performance artist and photography Adrian L. Acosta just made a slide show of his most recent work. And guess what - he wants you to check it out. [YouTube]

• Anderson Cooper loves to eat Stephen Colbert's cream. Especially when it's iced. [Eat The Press]

• New Hampshire's homos can't seem to reach a consensus on gay marriage. But, really, who can? [Foster's]

• Mark you calendars: the hate crime trial against alleged homo-hater George Clinton Young starts next week. [Pegasus News]

• Davis Mallory, The Real World's resident homo, can't believe he helped break up Lance and Reichen by snogging Reichen. As you can see, Lance has (allegedly) done well for himself. [Gay Socialites]

• Because we love you more than anything in the world, we've posted Ciara's video for "Like A Boy". We're not sure how we feel about it…

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• Stephen Colbert had "mega" sympathy for Ted Haggard. [Huffington Post]

• Tom Ford's spritzing his shit all over town. And when we say "his shit", we mean his new fragrance, Black Orchid. [International Herald Tribune]

• Melrose Place's just been released on DVD. While we doubt Tori Spelling will get her father's residuals, we know that Doug Savant's chatting with AfterElton about his gay role on the prime-time sudster. [AfterElton]

• Is People Magazine the coming out go to? It looks that way, yes. [Jossip]

• Let's get one thing straight: if it weren't for the gay sex, Ted Haggard's gay sex scandal would only be a scandal. And don't you forget it. [Rocky Mountain News]

The right-wing's agenda to turn Stephen Colbert gay, from Superman to Cirque De Soleil to the World Cup, just might be working. [YouTube]

• The "Is Superman gay?" debate rages on, which gets us thinking: Isn't all the buzz over the sueprhero's sexuality sounding a little too much like a well orchestrated publicity effort? [NYDN]

• PFLAG will ring the New York Stock Exchange closing bell on Friday, which is being billed as symbolic of the GLBT community's purchasing power. How cute. [PFLAG]

• Footballers' Wives' Marcel McCalla on playing gay. [AfterElton]

• We're not sure what movie this is from, but two hot young guys in the woods (one with his pants down) is always worth a mention. [Teen Boy Secrets]