• God wants Mary-Kate Olsen to sell weed.

• Chris Crain takes on Mike Gravel's taking on of Hillary Clinton.

• Fuck the election, we want to know who'll be Australia's top 25 queers.

• Former Gay.com president venturing into ad networking business. Says Mark Elderkin, "By developing content-rich marketing programs that span our aggregated audience, we can provide unique marketing vehicles for our advertising partners." And by "unique," he means "gay".

CONTINUED »

• Gay Man Turned Away from Fertility Clinic. Displeased. [365 Gay]

• W. Hollywood Apparently Lacking Faggotry. Woo. [The Los Angeles Times]

• Church Getting Anti-Gay Mail, Forwards to Hell. [Pink News UK]

• The "Truth" About Suri. Talk About Truthiness. [Gawker]

&bull Sacha Baron Cohen Makes Kazakhstan Cry. Working it Out. [Life Style Extra]

• Gay and Straight Couples Have Same Issues. Who knew? [After Elton]

After months of nay-saying, second guessing, and general cynicism, here's at least some sort of proof that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are raising a child together. Gorgeous, no? Too bad we still have no proof that the little tyke is actually theirs.

We still suspect one of the original - and surprisingly believable - story: the baby came from L. Ron Hubbard's frozen sperm. Regardless of her origins, she's a cute kid. Look at that preternatural head of hair! Just gaze into those eerie, all-encompassing eyes.

Yeah, the great Shiloh/Suri showdown for Earth's soul may be years away, but it's good to know your enemy early. In the off-chance that Suri Cruise isn't some demon spawn destined to lead our planet into some grotesque, dystopian future, and she's just like any other baby, we're sorry. Life will be tough for you, little one: your mom looks pilled out within an inch of her life, your father's a recently unemployed nutter, and you've got assholes like us watching your every move. Welcome to America, honey.