“A Seattle woman was stabbed Wednesday night for talking too loudly during America’s Next Top Model… Police arrived to find the victim lying on a couch with blood everywhere and clumps of hair missing.” [MG]

Like so many courageous people before him, JC Chasez gathered his strength, put on a brave face and had a heart-to-heart with Tyra Banks.

The girls had some small, publicist-approved talk about the singer’s dance show, career history and the like, but things soon veered toward the queer when Banks brought up Chasez’s former bandmate, Lance Bass.

Like the self-proclaimed pro she is, Banks repeatedly presses Chasez on whether he suspected Bass like boys. Chasez is for more experienced, however, and rebuffs her efforts by saying he never likes to make presumptions. Well played!

Having struck out on the gay angle, Banks then delves in Chasez’s much gabbed about love life. He claims … Continued…

We’re not exactly sure what Tyra Banks and Janet Jackson were discussing in the moments before this clip. And, quite frankly, we don’t want to know…

Doomed presidential candidate Mike Huckabee recently sat down with model Tyra Banks. And, as you know, Banks felt obligated to bring up the gays, who all love her, and asked the Republican why he’s such a hater. Huckabee insists he’s not a homophobe, of course, he just doesn’t find our queer “lifestyle” normal.

Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee popped into The Tyra Banks Show for some girl talk last week.

We can’t watch the exchange until this Friday, but a very helpful Banks staffer sent over the transcript of Banks and the Huckster talking about the gays. Because, as Tyra declares, “I love the gays and the gays love me. And I know I cannot walk down the street here in New York City if I didn’t press that issue and truly ask you that.” Girl, you know it’s true.

So, what does Huckabee have to say for himself? Nothing new, really, except his language seems to be softer. We aren’t the necrophiliacs we once were; we’re just missing the mark:
TYRA BANKS: I know that you are a preacher; do you believe that homosexuality is immoral?

GOVERNOR HUCKABEE: Well, I think a lot of things in our lives are missing the mark. The word sin means missing the mark. It doesn’t mean that a person has committed murder… So I think sometimes if you say is it a sin or immoral and people think you’re making these terrible statements about somebody. I’ve had people who are gay that worked on my staff. It’s not like I’m some homophobe. If you ask me is it the normal pathway? I don’t think so. But, you know, I respect that people have different views about that. Well, good. We’re glad you “respect” that we don’t think gay folk are freaks. That’s very kind of you, Schmuckabee.

Read the rest of the ladies’ exchange, after the jump:
Continued…

Is Tyra Banks a poopie pants? Sounds that way: “A group of madmen and madwomen storm in and take possession of the suite because - ready? - Tyra Banks messed herself and needed to change. Now I would like to bring to your attention that Tyra’s people carried a change of clothes for her at NYC Fashion Week. Could it be that Tyra messed herself before?” We all know the answer to that question. [Mollygood via queenly Fabian Basade]

Why act when you can spit?

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• President Bill Clinton be tired of MLK.

• Cuban commies considering queer unions.

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• Christian school didn’t break law with lesbian student boot, says California judge.

• Resurrected GOP icon and gay porn star Matt Sanchez may have lost his mind. Jeremy Hooper had an email exchange with him and it’s pretty nonsensical. Sanchez seems to think “horndog” is a gay term of endearment. Because being horny’s a good thing or because we all talk like overgrown boys?
Continued…

Hillary Clinton appears on today’s Tyra Banks Show. Here’s a clip of the ladies discussing Bill Clinton’s little affair. And, no, Bank still has not learned the meaning of tact: “Were you embarrassed? I’d be embarrassed!”

God Tyra’s a twat! And we love it!

Hillary Clinton will appear on the Tyra Banks Show this Friday. Apparently she’s in desperate need of the dumb tart vote.

Of course Tyra asks the hard hitting questions, like what we’re meant to call Bill if Hillary wins the White House. Hillary’s response? “Here are some of the things that have been suggested, like ‘ First Mate.’ His Scottish friends say ‘First Laddy.’ But we need ideas…I’ll just keep calling him Bill.”

Awwww, don’t it just make you want to squeeze Clinton’s cheeks?

We almost kind of feel bad for Tyra Banks. Almost. I’d go to work [on ‘The Tyra Banks Show’], and women would be crying in my arms…But then I’d go home and put my key in my door and … nothing. No friends, no husband, no children. I feel so full when I’m at work but so empty when I come home. No offense, Banks, but we’re not surprised…

After months of tireless research and many sleepless nights, former ANTM judge Janice Dickinson concludes that Tyra Banks is, in fact, a total heffer who deserves to be slaughtered for the greater good.

Meanwhile, Jennifer Lover Hewitt’s “healthy” figure saved her less newsworthy life.

[Note: The Internet gods keep taking the video, so we’re sending you elsewhere for the nasty goods.]

Tyra Banks again broadened America’s horizons by hosting MTV’s resident bisexual, Tila Tequila.
Continued…

Tyra Banks used her nationally-syndicated talk show to explore the ins and outs of the world’s greatest mystery: the vagina. And, of course, no vaginally-charged discussion would be complete without some puppetry, which we thought you could only do with the penis.

Senator Barack Obama knows that if there’s one television show every presidential candidate must appear on, it’s Tyra Bank’s gab-fest. Because, really, where else are you going to get such soft ball topics as shopping for crystal vases?