Madonna and Gucci teamed up last night to raise controversial moolah for UNICEF and African nation Malawi. And, as you can see, all the big names were there. While we weren’t in attendance (our invitation must have gotten lost in the mail), our sources tell us everyone had a gay old time. Except for Gwyneth Paltrow, whose silk bow reportedly tried to decapitate the actress.

Function over form?
… Continued…

• The American Family Association says this past weekend’s muscle-fest, Mr. Gay International, was “designed to get homosexuals together for sexual activities.” We must have missed the contest’s mandatory orgy competition.

• Queer jock Boi from Troy raises the possibility that a USC football player might be responsible for splitting up America’s most annoying couple, Nick and Jessica. And the quarterback isn’t tackling Jessica.

• Over 1,000 brave Croats come out of the closet by having their names printed in the local rag! Well, first names only.

• UNICEF bombs the hell out of the Smurfs’s gay village in a new ad aimed at raising funds. Our thoughts are with Vanity smurf’s … Continued…