It seems Eleanor Holmes Norton fancies herself a health activist. The DC Representative hosts a "frank discussion" next Monday during which women can come and chat about how sexually transmitted diseases threaten so-called normal relationships. In a letter addressed to someone named "Sister," Norton implores:

Please come to my Women's Town Hall Meeting on "Sex in the City: STDs, Relationships and Today's Woman"… The only featured guest is YOU. There is no "program," only what you have to say about how women are living and should live their lives in an era when marriage among African American's [sic] has sharply declined. Black women outnumber Black men and STD's [sic] and AIDS are a threat to normal relationships.

People in abnormal relationships, meanwhile, thrive on AIDS. You know, like the gays.

If you're interested in reading Norton's entire letter, download this PDF.

Remember when Bill O'Reilly and his token black friend, the improbably named Rod Wheeler, took to the screens to scream about the lesbian gang pandemic?

Well, now that their story has made the rounds - and been ridiculed, Mr. Wheeler took it upon himself to apologize for all the homophobic-colored comments.

CONTINUED »

Senator David Vitter found himself in the hot seat after his number appeared in a D.C. madam's phone records.

So, what does Vitter have to say for himself?

This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there _ with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way.

Perhaps all that cheating on his wife with a whore made Vitter realize that marriage needs some constitutional "protection" - he fought hard to amend the federal definition of holy matrimony.

(PS: How do you think Vitter knows God forgave him? Email??)

President Bush has a knack for getting his way.

The Commander-in-Chief threatened to veto Financial Services and General Government Appropriations Act unless Congress made clear none of the $120 million federal funds be used for domestic partner registry.

And, of course, Congress crumbled.

CONTINUED »

Washington DC police have arrested six teenagers for their respective roles in a gay gang war last month, Washington Post reports.

The victim, a 15-year-old boy, was waiting at the bus shelter area on the night of May 19 after an earlier fight with members of a rival gang, officials said. He told investigators that he was attacked by six members of the rival gang, including a woman who allegedly stabbed him four times and another person who hit him in the head with a stiletto heel.

Hit in the head with a stiletto? That's some Flotilla DeBarge shit right there.

Elton John traveled to Washington Monday to receive the National Association of Broadcasters' Service to America Leadership Award. Ever socially aware, NAB honored John's tireless work against that international nightmare, HIV/AIDS.

The guest list looked like a who's who of American culture, with democratic Senator Barbara Boxer and Representative John Dingell sitting side by side with Miss America, Lauren Nelson and Inside Edition's Deborah Norville. Meanwhile, Oleta Adams put a jazzy spin on some of John's classics, like "Can You Feel the Love Tonight," which Elton no doubt did.

Taking the stage, Elton - who has cited Ryan White as his inspiration for his activism - told the enraptured audience,

This is a chance to make up for behavior I deeply regretted … I’m like the whore that goes around and rattles people’s wallets.

As opposed to the whore that goes around and rattles people's wieners? (Seriously, we've looked around for more quotes from his speech, but this is the only one we could find. It's a bit twisted, don't you think?)

In other Elton John fights AIDS news, Mariah Carey signed on to headline the Elton John AIDS Foundation's June 29th One Mighty Party. Fag favorite Carey will apparently sing six dance remixes at the Paris event. We're totally there!! In spirit, of course.

Thomas Roberts may be out at CNN, but he's certainly in the DC gay scene. Well, that's what one of our drunken readers says in an inebriated email.

Apparently the homo-journo, who made headlines with his candid priest molestation-related interview with Anderson Cooper, has been living it up down on the Beltway. And getting into some go-go boys' belts, according to our soused source. We've included the his entire email after the jump. We'd edit it, but it's too rich to fuck with.

CONTINUED »

Representative Jim Kolbe of Arizona has been cleared of any wrong-doing in the congressional page scandal. The openly gay politico came under scrutiny last year after reports surfaced that the retired Republican took an Independence Day camping trip with two teen pages.

Kolbe also had to defend himself against allegations that he didn't do enough to stop former Congressman Mark Foley, who left the House after Lane Hudson exposed his inappropriate exchanges with teenage pages.

Following the Justice Department's announcement that he would remain free, Kolbe told reporters:

Yesterday's action by the Justice Department is powerful evidence that the allegations of wrongdoing were unfounded. I am thankful for the department's objective review of this matter and glad to have finally put this issue to rest.

We're sure you are - no one wants a homosexual sex scandal lingering into the summer. It would be a major bum-mer…

Now that we've got your attention, we'd like to inform you that Washington DC Mayor Adrian M. Fenty has named his new Interim Director for LGBT Affairs: Christopher Dyers. The announcement cites Dyers' long history working with non-profits such as the American Lung Association and the Gertrude Stein Democratic Club, as well as his founding of the Youth Pride Alliance. It does not, however, mention Dyers' work alter ego: Cookie Buffet: a popular drag queen in the DC area.

While not a glaring omission in the least, it's suspicious that Cookie Buffet has gone on an "extended vacation". Her website reads:

Due to an increase of responsibilities in my new job and after much soul searching, It is time to announce that Cookie Buffet will be going on an extended vacation. I can't stress enough the joy I have had in being a performer and raising the amount of money I have. I was always pleasantly surprised at the love I received from clubgoers and the GLBT community. I am extremely proud of the "work" I did as Cookie. I realize this "retirement" might come as a shock and suprise to some.

From what we hear, Buffet's show invoked so-called "trailer trash drag" - a revue we suppose Fenty and Dyers feel has no place in DC politics.

Don't worry, though, Fenty and Dyers may be political masterminds, but they can't stop people like us from digging up an old version of Buffet's website, on which you can read all about her exploits prior to being brought into the official political fold.

Well, it would seem that after all those nightmarish years, the Democrats may again have some power in Washington. As we're sure you know, the Demmies took back control of the House of Representatives for the first time since they lost it so tragically in 1998 (Correction: We meant the Dems lost the House in 1994, not 1998. It was early; we're human. xoxo).

While it's too soon to tell, it also looks as if they'll retain control of the Senate.

So, what does this all mean? Well, it means that perhaps some progressive policy can take place in Washington. It also means that while Illinois Republican Dennis "Hasturd" Hastert won reelection, he will no longer be Speaker of the House, opening it up to San Francisco based Nancy Pelosi. While she has not yet officially been made Speaker, she seems poised to take over, which would make her the first woman Speaker in history. What was President Bush's reaction? According to a White House spokesman:

His reaction was, he was disappointed in the results in the House. But he’s eager to work with both parties on his priorities over the next two years. He’s got an agenda of important issues he wants to work on, and he’s going to work with both parties.

Poor Bush, we bet he cried himself to sleep, because he knows his days of evil omnipotence have come to an end.

As for the Senate: well, that's still up in the air, with Montana and Virginia still undecided. It seems as if the race between Senator George Allen and Jim Webb may require a recount. In Montana, it seems as if Republican Senator Conrad Burns's lacking the votes to keep control out of Democratic challenger, Jon Tester. But, again, the votes haven't all been counted.

Now, with regard to same-sex marriage bans. Unfortunately, Americans in Virginia, Wisconsin, South Carolina, South Dakota, Idaho, Tennessee and Colorado all voted to ban same-sex marriage in their states. On a positive note, however, pro-marriage group Arizona Together fought a fierce battle and beat the proposed ban. We predict Arizona's the next big gay thing, whatever that means.

Oh, and you may also like to know that two homo-politicos, Patricia Todd (D-AL) and Paul Koering (R-MN) won their respective races. Meanwhile, reported homo-politico, Charlie Crist, won his Republican Governorship in Florida. Countering the balance, however, New York's gained Eliot Spitzer, who has promised to write more progressive gay legislation.

While we're on the subject of love, remember Madeline Crabb, the pictured journalist who yearns just hates the homos? If not, check out our posting on the first installment of her ire-inducing essay, "Foley, homosexuality, and character."

Now that we're all on the same Foley-related page (pun undoubtedly intended), let's take a minute to examine Ms. Crabb's rousing second installment.

Basically, it's more of the same conservative Bible pusher haterade, which means the reader gets wonderous gems, such as Crabb's insistence that Foley's actions represent "normal-for-homosexual-behavior". She's such a sweetheart!

But, wait, it gets better:

Homosexuality is not noble, no matter what the know better [read: liberals] crowd says. God called such behavior an abomination. Period. But if that's not enough for you, let's hear what the homosexuals of stellar character have to say.

The Homosexual Manifesto, which appeared in the Gay Community News in 1987 states:

We shall sodomize your sons, emblems of your feeble masculinity, of your shallow dreams and vulgar lies. We shall seduce them in your schools, in your dormitories, in your gymnasiums, in your locker rooms, in your sports arenas, in your seminaries, in your youth groups, in your movie theater bathrooms, in your army bunkhouses, in your truck stops, in your all-male clubs, in your houses of Congress, wherever men are with men together. Your sons shall become our minions and do our bidding. They will be recast in our image.

The goal of homosexuals is to infiltrate every area of society to force their disgusting sexual lifestyle choices — their perversions — on all Americans. They are doing it through legislation like "hate crimes bills," and the Courts, using fear and intimidation tactics that would make the Nazis proud.

Call us crazy, but we don't think The National Socialists would be proud of anything gay. We actually think they were more closely aligned with Crabb's ideology (except for the religious part, of course).

We've also taken the time to post the entire parodic "The Gay Manifesto" essay by Michael Swift after the jump. Obviously Ms. Crabb's too blinded by her cuntiness to recognize sarcasm. Or, perhaps she's just an idiot.

CONTINUED »

If our calculations are correct, Mark Foley should be getting out of rehab any second now. While people in rehab typically shy away from the rest of the world, we're pretty sure Foley knows what a stink his email exchanges with Congressional pages have raised.

He's probably scared shitless right now, thirsting for the hooch (read: teenage boys) that sent him to detox in the first place. Who wouldn't be? Washington's been torn asunder, child protection advocates are frothing at the mouth, and his entire fucking life's basically down the toilet.

Don't worry, Marky, not everyone hates you. Consider this article by the appropriately monikered Madeline Crabb (pictured above in what we hope was 1992).

So, what's this cringe-worthy piece entitled? "Foley, homosexuality, and character (Part One)". Yeah, that's right. Part one. This bitch loves her some Foley.

There are so many notable bits here that we're at a loss. For example:

For over two weeks we have been hearing a lot of stories about former congressman Mark Foley who got caught sending emails to a congressional page. He at least had the good sense to resign. Yes, the press and the liberal "elitists" have claimed this is a scandal…

…[W]hy are we even having this public debate over old Mark? It's not like he's the first homosexual in Congress. The liberal elitists, or we-know-what's-best-for-you crowd, have been pushing homosexuality down our proverbial throats for years. They have even told us that the Boy Scouts are wrong to ban homosexuals from being scout leaders because these pure, wholesome, same-as-you-and-me homosexuals would never harm boys. Uh huh.

We're actually speechless.

(Thanks Mike.)

In his undying quest to expose hypocrisy among government officials, Blogactive's Mike Rogers set his sights on Republican National Committee Chairman, Ken Mehlman (pictured).

Mehlman's sexuality has long been a Washington mystery and when asked, he's offered two contradictory answers: one, that people shouldn't have to answer such questions and, two, that he's not gay.

Tenacious to say the least and armed with a video camera, Rogers recently cornered Mehlman at a DC-conference to find out the truth. So, what did Mehlman have to say for himself?

Follow this here link to find out for yourself.

What would the morning be with a quick update on the scandal of the moment? We'll keep it short, we promise.

Expanding their investigation into how deep in the shit Foley actually is, the FBI has started questions former Congressional pages who may have had contact with the disgraced pol in the past. First on the list, Jordan Edmund, who worked as a House page in both 2001 and 2002. The political go-getter's currently slaving away on Republican Ernest Istook's gubernatorial campaign in Oklahoma, where his meeting with the FBI will be taking place. Oh to be a fly on the wall in that one…

Edmund's just the beginning of what may prove to be a disastrous investigation for Foley, who's currently in rehab for his alleged alcohol problem. We can't help but wonder if he's keeping track of all this drama, or if he's stuck his head in the sand a la Speaker Dennis "Hasturd" Hastert.

Speaking of ol' Turd-ball, a new CBS poll "shows" (as much as these things really can) that 46% of American people think the Speaker should step down from him post. Tenacious to say the least, Hasturd's insisted again and again that not only will he not step down, he intends to keep the seat for another term. Considering that the aforementioned CBS poll also suggests that four out of five people believe the GOP cares more about political standing than the safety of Congressional pages, Turdie better count his blessings…

All the Foley fall out, coupled with gay history month (and a few helpful links from our friends over at Virtual Matter), bring back memories of another gay political sex scandal. Harking back to the days of George Bush Sr. (an era that seems glorious compared to the fuck-all job his son's been doing) this scandal involved Republicunts procuring kiddie sex from a national kidnapping/pimping racket. The fall-out reached the upper echelons of the government.

Though no top leaders from the inner sanctums of the West Wing were ever arraigned, two Republican officials, George Spence and Lawrence King, took much of the heat for the scandal.

A documentary called The Conspiracy of Silence chronicling the impropriety had been scheduled to air on The Discovery Channel back in 1994. Unfortunately, after government officials threatened legislative action, it got yanked faster than a teenage wank. Luckily, it's available at You Tube. (Don't you love the internet?) We'd post it for you, but it's about an hour long and, well, we can't do everything for you.

Also, another source tells us that one of the boys kidnapped and sold into the sex ring recently surfaced on his mother's door step and told her that he he could never testify because too many high ranking officials would be implicated, thus putting his already torturous life in danger. He then kissed her and made himself scarce. No word's been heard from him since.

This was way before Mark Foley's time, but we bet the pervo's sorry he missed all those late-night kiddie orgies. (Oh, and if you're wondering what that picture is, it's Lady Justice, flying down to start some major shit.)