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Catholic Church: Gay Marriage Will Lead To Exhausted Masses In Need of Hazelnut-Flavored Breakfast Roast

I do love it when folks find new things to compare same-sex marriage to. But even inside the Catholic Church it looks like the regular “it’ll lead to man-sheep weddings” is going out of favor as prelates turn to Starbucks offerings for their latest rants.

“A gay relationship is like decaffeinated coffee,” opined Father Gonzalo Miranda, a bioethics professor at Regina Apostolorum University, a pontifical university. “You do not wake up.” ZING!

The comments came during a series of conferences celebrating the twentieth anniversary of the School of Bioethics at the Universidad Anahuac’s founding — and were used to attack Mexico City’s new same-sex marriage law.

“What just happened in California is very significant,” says Miranda. “On two occasions people spoke out against the legal recognition of gay marriage and twice a judge changed the popular vote with a ruling. In Mexico, I don’t know well the mechanism used, but the people were not consulted, there’s wasn’t a referendum either.”

Let the people vote on grande vs. venti!

By:           Ryan Tedder
On:           Sep 7, 2010
Tagged: , , , ,

  • 23 Comments
    • Drake
      Drake

      How often does the Pope “consult ” with the people, or let the people vote on something before he spews his venom?

      Sep 7, 2010 at 9:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • robert
      robert

      @Drake: I think you have to take the view that if he doesn’t stop or criticise those making the comments, he must agree with them.

      Sep 7, 2010 at 10:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
      PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS

      People have spoken out pretty loud against kiddie diddling also Father Asshat…….However that never stopped the catholic church from playing hide and seek with the priests who diddled the kids for decades……….

      Jeeeezus when is the catholic church going to realize that when one lives on a glass house, its best not to toss stones from the front porch?????

      Sep 7, 2010 at 10:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jared Alessandroni
      Jared Alessandroni

      The worst part is, it’s one of those one-liners that leaves you going, wait – why is that funny again? What’s his point? Don’t some people prefer decaf?

      Sep 7, 2010 at 10:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ogre Magi
      Ogre Magi

      @Jared Alessandroni: Is it just me, or are they getting dumber and dumber?

      Sep 7, 2010 at 11:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Yewtree
      Yewtree

      How on earth would an unmarried celibate person know the difference between same-sex & opposite-sex marriage?

      Sep 7, 2010 at 11:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vinnyc
      vinnyc

      I have always wondered .. regarding this priests. where does all the semen go.?

      Sep 7, 2010 at 1:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      This is a *huge* step up. Think about it: while many think decaf is inferior, almost nobody seriously denies that it is, in fact, coffee.

      Sep 7, 2010 at 4:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sean
      Sean

      Hyhybt: This gay man considers decaf coffee to be the spawn of Satan.

      Then again, I need four shots of espresso to get through the morning on work days. Maybe once marriage equality is the law throughout the US, I’ll switch to decaf.

      Sep 7, 2010 at 10:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      This poor man would lose his mind if we asked:
      What about people who like half-caf, half decaf?
      What about decaf espresso? !

      Sep 7, 2010 at 11:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      @Jeffree: Bi and drag, respectively.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 12:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • D Smith
      D Smith

      3 bi poly trans people in a relationship maybe?

      Sep 8, 2010 at 2:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeffree
      Jeffree

      @HYHYBT: You are *good*! I prefer iced coffee myself but I don’t think that means much ;-)

      Usually with people like Fr. Miranda who use poorly thought out analogies, their brains start to circuit out when you start asking them more details or to expand the analogy !

      Unfortnately, they rarely refine their analogy, they just make up new ones….

      Sep 8, 2010 at 2:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Queer Supremacist
      Queer Supremacist

      @PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS: Not until the long-overdue nukes finally hit Vatican City.

      And decaf is the equivalent of diet soda. In terms of bad coffee analogies, gay marriage is the finest gourmet brew, and breeder “marriage” is Folger’s.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 2:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • France Collins
      France Collins

      Gay marriage is very depraving. The church and government must do something about it.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 3:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • robert in nyc
      robert in nyc

      Now how would a catholic cultist priest or prelate know anything about relationships since they’re banned from having any? The roman cult has NO moral authority to judge others or make asinine statements about relationships, marriage or anything else. A catholic priest would be the last person I’d consult for relationship advice. These are indeed desperate, insecure people.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 1:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jimmy Fury
      Jimmy Fury

      I’ve been called a lot of things in my life and never once been offended.

      But decaf… DECAF!?
      That’s just too far. TOO FAR I SAY!

      Sep 8, 2010 at 8:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Queer Supremacist
      Queer Supremacist

      @robert in nyc: The only thing a papist cult leader has any right to comment on is what lube to use when raping a little boy.

      Stop Romanism now!

      Sep 10, 2010 at 10:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • robert in nyc
      robert in nyc

      No. 18, Queer Supremacist….actually,the reason why there are so many rants coming from the Vatican against us is clearly an act of desperation. It knows deep down its losing the cultural war. Look at Spain, Portugal, Argentina, Belgium for starters, a trend that will continue, not decline. It can rant all it wants, its days are numbered. One Italian gay activist has urged all gay clergy to leave the cult which would bring about its demise sooner rather than later. Its rotting from within and that will continue to happen as long as it resists change. Like all empires, they come to an end. Its signing its own death warrant, long may that continue. The more it rants, the more irrelevant it becomes.

      Sep 10, 2010 at 10:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Vo Dong Cung
      Vo Dong Cung

      The guy names Gonzalo Miranda is so stupid to talk like that. If I’m asking him to stay nude because his clothes are de-cottonized, what will he answer?

      Sep 11, 2010 at 1:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stanJames
      stanJames

      @robert in nyc:

      Its obvious they are circling the wagons. While I would consider it an honor to skin RATZInger the NAZI alive, and toss his bod into a hole full of maggots,

      perhaps he is our greatest friend. Even though he doesn’t know it.

      the missing piece is how the hell to break the hold on the catholic people who still go to church.

      the promise of burning alive for eternity, and the scam insurance policy of life after death (should be prosecuted under RICO) is what has all these poor peoples minds glued to the church.

      Which has had 1600 years to hone its message of hate, mass murder etc.

      Reminds me of 2 lines…..

      Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive

      Adn If you tell a lie often enough, and outrageous enough, it will be seen as the truth.

      Describes the church so well. BTW, the last one came from Goebbels, apparently a catholic, who got the still unexcommunciated Hitler elected.

      Jan 5, 2011 at 5:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stanJames
      stanJames

      Its not just spain, portugal etc.

      Virtually every last country except italy and greece in western europe gives gays marriage or the rights of marriage.

      Catholic Latin America – Argentina, Mexico, and columbia (common law) marriage. Equador, Brazil (most), and uruguay CUs. (btw – biggest gay pride in the world – Brazil – 3.5 million consistently.

      Canada, Israel, RSAfrica, Nepal, NZ, Au, Austria, Hungary, chech repub and others.

      the battle is in the USA. Because if America goes for gay equality, its all over for the church. The catholic and yes the southern baptists monstrosities will become museums to teach future generations about mankinds inhumanity to mankind and womankind and gay kind etc.

      http://WWW.catholicarrogance.org, http://www.nobeliefs.com/nazis.htm

      Jan 5, 2011 at 6:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stanJames
      stanJames

      to robert in nyc

      Its obvious they are circling the wagons. While I would consider it an honor to skin RATZInger the NAZI alive, and toss his bod into a hole full of maggots,

      perhaps he is our greatest friend. Even though he doesn’t know it.

      the missing piece is how the hell to break the hold on the catholic people who still go to church.

      the promise of burning alive for eternity, and the scam insurance policy of life after death (should be prosecuted under RICO) is what has all these poor peoples minds glued to the church.

      Which has had 1600 years to hone its message of hate, mass murder etc.

      Reminds me of 2 lines…..

      Oh what a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive

      Adn If you tell a lie often enough, and outrageous enough, it will be seen as the truth.

      Describes the church so well. BTW, the last one came from Goebbels, apparently a catholic, who got the still unexcommunciated Hitler elected.

      Jan 5, 2011 at 6:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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