How can you make death worse? Well, a Roman Catholic Church in San Diego put its best minds to work on the problem and came up with a great idea: denying a funeral for a dead man because he was gay. Then, after the man’s partner and the LGBT community protest the bigotry of the decision, do a complete about-face, just after the family makes alternative plans. Yes, do that.
John Sanfilippo, owner of a popular gay bar, SRO Lounge, died on June 24. But when the priests at Our Lady of the Rosary Church found out that he was survived by his partner of 30 years, Brian Galvin, they told Sanfilippo’s family that the Mass was canceled. That the priests managed to do so just two days after Sanfilippo died speaks both to their efficiency and their complete lack of humanity.
City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez, a friend of the Sanfilippo family, told San Diego LGBT Weekly, “The Sanfilippo family and Brian are, of course, devastated and are trying to get the mass in another church.”
This isn’t the first time that a San Diego Catholic Church refused funeral services for a gay man, according to the Weekly. Another gay businessman suffered the same final homophobia gesture in 2005. However, the Church isn’t always that fussy about who it will provide a funeral mass for. Mafia leaders regularly get a sanctified send-off, as seen here, here, and here. Guess in the eyes of the Church there’s still a big difference between killing your fellow man and loving him.
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In the end, the church hierarchy announced that John Sanfilippo’s funeral was back on, apparently bowing to the political pressure or, perhaps, coming to its senses.
The Sanfilippo family nixed that idea, however, saying they would make plans at a gay-affirming San Diego church.
“All of a sudden, they change their mind…Why? Because they got caught in the process of denying equal rights to people,” said Sanfilippo’s friend, Neil Thomas.
Photo Credit: San Diego LGBT Weekly
Dodgy
If this is the way the catholic church treat the gay members of their congregation, they don’t deserve to have any…
Pat Duffy
This used to be so common as to be normal instead of “news”. The VAST majority of my friends who Passed even up until the early 90’s had their funerals in funeral homes because Christians didn’t want “those kind of dead people’s” “degrading” their churches….
Snownova
But I’m sure they were more then happy to take his donations in life…
Shannon1981
I will never understand how any self respecting gay person can associate themselves with the evil that is organized xtianity, and Catholicism in particular. Are we really surprised by this? We shouldn’t be. Bigots to the core, always. It will never change. Gay Xtians, wise up! Have some dignity and self respect! THEY HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE GAY. THEY WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE GAY.
till the world ends
@Shannon1981: preach on brother! Talk the truth!
of course
@Shannon1981: And thank you for your bigotry, Shannon.
christopher di spirito
The ugly face of Christianity on display for everyone to see.
Sass-zilla
I agree with you, Shannon. The Catholics don’t want us, so why do we keep trying to force them? This hurts our case by making us look like conformist, Politically Correct, militants trying to homogenize society. We should seek other churches that accept us (there are even some Christian ones!)and join and support or friends – not our enemies.
ewe
Diabolical.
Jim Hlavac
30 years “married” is probably longer than 3/4’s of the congregants in that misbegotten divorce ridden wreck called “catholicism”
unclemike
@of course: So, calling out bigotry is the “real” bigotry? You are mixed up, kid.
TMikel
The article states that, “just after the family makes alternative plans,” the church relented, which suggests at the very least that the family not the partner was in charge of the funeral arrangements. Personally, I agree that as the Roman Church sees us as sinners not worthy of their rites, we should just go elsewhere – and there ARE Roman Churches that affirm our right to love whom we want. It may well be that the partner was bowing to the family’s wishes to have the mass in their church. There are legal aspects and financial considerations that affect the case too. When my life partner, John, died, I was lucky because his will left me in charge and his family concurred. That said, it is my considered opinion that the church of Rome has deviated greatly from Christ’s teachings and should no longer be consider an authority at all, let alone be called a Christian church – it does NOT follow Christ’s teachings. To me, this is like the military. Why would you want to be part of something that so obviously reviles you?
Tony
I’d like for this be surprising, but it’s not.
Correct me if wrong: but wasn’t the current Pope once a Hitler Youth?
of course
@unclemike: Well, thanks for the “kid” anyway. My wrinkles thank you.
Stigmatizing an entire demographic as “all the same, always the same” is bigotry.
Stating an opinion in the form of a personal insult is bigotry.
Willful ignorance is bigotry.
My pastor is an active, committed proponent of gay rights to my congregation.
My congregation is an active, committed proponent of gay rights to my denomination.
My denomination is an active, committed proponent of gay rights to the wider Christian community and to the culture as a whole.
So, thanks again, Shannon, for insulting a whole bunch of people who have committed their time, energy, and money to protect and advance your civil rights. I particularly appreciate it since these are people I love.
Caliban
In other news stories about this it was reported that Sanfilippo left “a large amount” to the church in his will. Aside from wondering what the hell he was thinking when he did that, I was curious how much that effected the Church’s sudden about-face regarding his funeral. “The church doesn’t perform funeral services for sinners! Wait, he left us lots of money? Oh. Well in that case, we were just kidding earlier. Never mind!”
of course
A few months ago, one of my church’s deacons, a lawyer, stopped coming to choir rehearsal for a few weeks. I thought he was being such a slacker to let down the baritone section!
As it turned out, he had left his law practice and gone to Minnesota to — successfully — represent a minister facing reprisals from his church for legally marrying his partner. He volunteered his (very expensive) billable time and his energy and his passion. As a result, the church’s policy was changed.
And then he came back and started singing with us baritones again.
But … he’s a Christian, so he must be just another one of those guys who “WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE GAY” I guess.
MikeM
@Shannon1981: There are some extremely progressive people, people of power, in the Catholic Church. I remember going to a LaSalle Catholic high school in the 70s and the brothers were very supportive of LGBT rights, racial equality, dedicating their loves to the poor, and, in general, unconditional Christ-like love. I know they are in the minority, but they are out there.
of course
@MikeM:
Um. I’ll now reverse course:
I really can’t get behind supposed liberals remaining in the Catholic church hierarchy — or other large, wealthy denominations with an institutional commitment to homophobia.
Yes, you may be permitted your own little space to be privately progressive within the church, but there simply is no room for dissent or for structural change. And meanwhile your money — and the money others may give to you as the friendly, tolerant “face” of an unfriendly, intolerant institution — goes straight into the pockets of the hierarchs.
It’s very different in elder-led churches or those with independent congregations. There, despite widespread homophobia among other individual leaders, you really can be a cell committed to transforming the church one parish or one person at a time — because you have control of your own community’s practices and resources, and larger decisions are made by consensus in which yours can be an important voice.
But when you are beholden to the leaders of an institution as rigidly hierarchical as the Catholics (or — not to be a simple pope-basher — the Southern Baptists), you inevitably do more harm by remaining a financial supporter of a bigoted institution than your personal witness can do to change it.
So the best answer in my view is: take responsibility for your own spirituality and religious community! As Christians ourselves make up the body of the church — we are the limbs of that living body. There is no need for the “exoskeleton” of a spiritually lifeless organization to support our worship.
WillBFair
@of course: Thank you very much. I get so tired of arguing with the anti church bigots on these sites. You’ve done a great job of it here and deserve sweet sweet words coming back at you. Wish I had more of them.
Sugar is the Devil
Diocesan Authorities have reconsidered and decided to allow the funeral to take place as planned assuming the man was still dead and gay
Billy Wingo
@Dodgy:
Dot worry – its all but dead in Europe, dying in Latin America. And of course with the endless hidden molestation of children, it will go to its well deserved grave here in the USA also.
to the cheers of Hallelujah, hallelujah hallelujah.
Syl
Sickening. First, at least half of all priests are gay, so they shouldn’t be given funerals in churches (the rest are alcoholics, pedophiles, people who picked it as an easy job, or simpletons unable to find other work, those too smart to be religious who were thoroughly indoctrinated, or combinations thereof). Finally, I’ve been to funeral masses for people who committed suicide. According to the cruel teaching of the Church, those people go to hell, so praying for them doesn’t do any good, so no funerals. Instead, they got the works, incense and everything! The RCC is a disgraceful, decaying zombie of a religion.
B
No. 13 · Tony wrote, “Correct me if wrong: but wasn’t the current Pope once a Hitler Youth?”
Yes, but according to http://www.historyplace.com/worldwar2/hitleryouth/hj-timeline.htm membership was compulsory for all 10 year old German boys due to a law passed on March 25, 1939, and according to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Benedict_XVI the current pope was conscripted into the Hitler Youth at age of 14 in 1941 (the Wikipedia article claims that a December 1939 law made membership compulsory for all 14 year old German boys). Another site ( http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/hitleryouth.html ) claims that “membership was made compulsory for youths over 17 in 1939, and for all over the age of 10 in 1941. By 1939, Hitler Youth membership comprised 90 percent of the country’s youth. There seems to be some confusion about the dates and ages for compulsory membership, but all the sites I looked at claimed it was compulsory in the 1940s.
His brother apparently claimed he was an unenthusiastic member. Of course, now that he is the pope, you have the spin machine to contend with, so I’m not sure a google search will be very effective.
Steve
I am sure there are a few Catholic priests who, personally, do not agree with the hateful Vatican policies regarding gay people. But, as long as those bigoted policies are the official policy of the Catholic church, it is right and proper for us to respond to the Catholic church on the basis of those policies.
Clearly, gay people are not welcome in the Catholic church. Jesus said, If the people in a place will not welcome you, leave the place and shake their dust off of your feet (Luke 9:5). So, all gay people should leave the Catholic church.
I expect the Catholic church would be left without music, singers, musicians, artists, or even many priests. It might be very difficult for them to put on the Sunday morning show, without all of the gay people.
the crustybastard
@B: “By 1939, Hitler Youth membership comprised 90 percent of the country’s youth.”
So you’re saying that 10% managed not to join the HJ, but Ratzinger wasn’t among the brave and/or clever minority?
LOL. I’d believe that.
In short yes, Ratzinger was a Nazi, but his dear brother (likely also a Nazi) will assure you not an “enthusiastic” one. Very reassuring.
Perhaps Ratzinger could make similar accommodations for gays who are less than enthusiastic?
darya
John was a wonderful man. SRO is a bar that is a safe neighborhood bar for Gay, Lesbian and (notably) Trans alike. He will be missed, and it’s sad that an organization that wants to reassure us and offer unconditional love can behave so…stupidly.
Not surprising, but sad.
B
No. 25 · the crustybastard wrote, “@B: “By 1939, Hitler Youth membership comprised 90 percent of the country’s youth.” So you’re saying that 10% managed not to join the HJ, but Ratzinger wasn’t among the brave and/or clever minority? LOL. I’d believe that.”
LOL. Dude: he joined in 1941 at the age of 14 according the web sites I cited, and it seems that in 1941, everyone had to join, like it or not. If you have some credible information to the contrary, please post a link.
He grew up in Nazi Germany. Whether that makes him a nazi is not clear, particularly given his age. According to
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Early_life_of_Pope_Benedict_XVI#Military_service_.281943.E2.80.931945.29 it seems that Ratzinger was “drafted with many of his classmates into the Luftwaffenhelfer program” at the age of 16 (in German, that basically means “Airforce Helper program”). In April or May 1945, he allegedly deserted (weeks before the Germans surrendered) So, he deserted at the age of 18 (maybe 17, just before his birthday). Unfortunately, the Wikipedia articles had numerous “[citation needed]” comments for everything involving Ratzinger’s military service, so please a more definitive history, if you can find one.
Regardless, if the article is any indication, for most if not all of the time he was in the military (involuntarily given that he was drafted), he was a minor. Given his final desertion, I’d hardly consider him to be a hard core nazi, and probably not even any sort of a nazi, just a dumb kid trying to muddle through. BTW, Ratzinger’s father was known to make disparaging remarks about Hitler, and just before the end of the war even to a couple of SS guys who spent the night in his house. Basically, he grew up in an anti-nazi family.
So, don’t blame the Nazis for Ratzinger’s homophobia. The Catholic Church alone will suffice.