In the same moment we’re struggling to understand gay youth suicides comes this: Bryan Jacobson, the gay 37-year-old NYC-based wedding planner, jumped to his death Monday night from his high-rise condo building on Mercer Street, where he lived on the 14th floor. Found with duct tape on his mouth, Jacobson’s death was initially suspected to involve foul play but police concluded he first attempted to suffocate himself by wrapping the tape around his face. Neighbors says Jacobson was depressed and his business was taking a hit from the recession, while a a suicide note indicated his health issues had become too much to deal with. Jacobson was best known professionally for the 2008 wedding of Robert De Niro’s son.
Molly Wei
Please don’t blame this on me.
Mike L.
Wow that’s very sad, I deal with depression sometimes as I think most ppl do. It’s a pretty hard thing to deal with sometimes, My heart goes out to his loved ones, RIP Bryan Jacobson.
Soupy
I’m sure Molly that you think that the combination of your screen name choice and your comment are funny. But you are wrong.
Wicked
I knew Bryan personally and I had no idea he was depressed! I just saw him a month ago! He seemed fine. So sad. We will miss you Bryan.
Cam
Am I the only one that thinks the story of him trying to wrap ducct tape over his mouth to suffocate himself sounds suspicious? If he was afraid of jumping wouldn’t he have just taken a bunch of pills and chased them down with alcohol?
Ian
I have had career highs and lows (in the past year I am currently in my dream job but last year I was corporately downsized and on unemployment), and I have also had serious health issues w/my heart that required open heart surgery at 29, but as long as I keep up on my health maintenance am in good health.
My point is, is that we all have “low” times in our lives and I am just so sorry that whatever problems in terms of career and health that Bryan was having he did not get the chance to see those who love him for the person he is every day.
My condolences go out to his family and friends.
Ian
@Cam: But yeah, the duct tape thing just doesn’t sound right, does it, in terms of a natural death?
scott ny'er
@Cam: Nope. I thought the duct tape was weird. But who knows, depression can really mess up your mind.
He had lyme disease according to the paper, and I hear that it’s a pretty messed up disease.
Black Pegasus
Unfortunately, this is what the Gay Lifestyle can sometimes lead to. Most of us are empty vapid vessels walking around seeking acceptance. We value Superficial shit, and superficial people. All of this while living in a society that tells us we’re better off DEAD than Alive. And when we look for positive re-enforcements, what do we find? We find the garbage that’s being propagated on LOGO such as the show “A-List”. A show that tells gays that without Money, Youth,Premier Parties and Connections, you’re just a piece of fag trash.
I don’t know all the particulars about Bryan’s death, but as someone who has suffered from depression in my youth, and later as an adult, I can most certainly empathize. My heart breaks for people who feel as though they’ve ran out of options..
May he R.I.P
Sceth
@Black Pegasus: There is no particular gay lifestyle.
TruthTeller
I greatly agree with Black Pegasus, and Sceth too. Though there is no one gay lifestyle, I think B.P. is talking about just one particular gay lifestyle that is too common. You see it especially in the gay ghettos of Manhattan and Los Angeles. Vapid lifestyles. (Though that’s probably only part of the problem with Mr. Jacobson, who probably had depression and other things going on in his head as well).
Oh boy
A chronic condition – whether it be Lyme disease, Chron’s disease, diabetes, MS, rheumatoid arthritis, whatever…can put an enormous mental and physical toll on people.
So don’t be so quick to judge. It may not necessarily have been his “lifestyle.”
TruthTeller
Yes, Oh Boy, that’s legit too.
CJ
The duct tape reminds me of NO8 duct tape photos. Maybe he was also making a statement? Probably not. But, it’s what first came to my mind anyway.
CJ
Oops. NOH8. Missed a letter there.
David
I knew a guy who committed suicide by duct taping a plastic bag over his head and then handcuffing his hands behind his own back so he couldn’t back out of his plan to suffocate. It worked. Maybe Bryan had tried something else before jumping?
Rick
@Cam: I agree – why would he keep the duct tape over his mouth? Was he being polite and avoiding the chance he might wake the neighbors?
Tim
And yet we are led to believe that ‘it gets better.’
Reality is that life doesn’t always ‘get better’.
It can be rough anywhere and all the time. Bullies and homophobes are everywhere not just school.
condolences to his family and friends
soakman
@Tim
It gets better because unless you have hit rock-bottom financially, when you’re an adult, you can choose to change your life and your locale if things and people are getting you down.
There is very seldom a point in one’s life where you don’t have control over your environment. Don’t like where you live? Don’t like your job? Scrape up your savings and move somewhere, bite the bullet, and get a job bussing tables. Meet new people, make new friends, follow your passions.
So his business was going down hill? If that was the source of his depression, he ought to have though about starting over. Chances are, there was more going on in his head than something that simple.
Patrick
I don’t know all the particulars about Bryan’s death, but….
But I’ll put my two cents in anyway. How about just saying very sad for his feeling it was the only choice, and thought to his family and friends?
The Milkman
@Black Pegasus: Honey, I’m gayer than a purse full of kittens, and that’s not my lifestyle. At all. Frankly, if anyone’s fag trash, it’s the gay men calling other gay men fag trash.
We hate in others what we most despise in ourselves.
Derek Washington
“Honey, I’m gayer than a purse full of kittens,..” CLASSIC.
Depression can really take a person weird places. RIP.
Scott
No examination of anyone’s individual circumstances can explain suicide. For every person who commits suicide there are many others who would seem to have worse circumstances but remain in a situation most would find unbearable. Some brains are just more susceptible to mental illness.
David
The ‘gay lifestyle’ is a boring trope and doesn’t actually say anything. These stories use language that is misrepresentative, typically sound and fury yet signifying nothing.
My friend commited suicide three weeks ago, newly married mother of two, great job and recent promotion. Our other friend is fighting a huge brain tumour. Some people want to live, some people don’t and one cannot rationalise with the irrational.
everfresh
What I find so surprising from reading all these comments, is that not one person has mentioned how gorgeous looking Bryan Jacobson is or should I say was. I would love to have looks and sex appeal like him. Bryan is far better looking than most guys I’ve ever known. Some guys could have so many plastic surgery operations, and still never come close to looking as good looking as Bryan. It is so sad and tragic that people like Bryan commit suicide. Why can’t people like Zimbabwean president, Robert Mugabe, commit suicide! There is no God and anyone believing in a God, has a below average I.Q. level! Bryan, I’m sure you will be missed and I’m also sure that if you had been put on a course of anti-depressant meds in conjunction with other many useful therapies, you would still be alive today.
Michael
@scott ny’er: Please tell me what the gay lifestyle is. I have heard it for years. Is it, getting up in the morning, having coffee, watching the news, showering, getting dressed, going to work – lunch, meetings, come home, read the mail, make dinner, maybe go to dinner or visit friends? Do laundry, wash the car? Please tell me what this “gay lifestyle” is. I really really really want to know.
Andreusz
@ EVERFRESH: I think you are right about Robert Mugabe and how much most people would love him to kill himself. Sadly, we have decent people killing themselves and really obnoxious people live well into their 90’s. Perhaps there is a lesson to learn from all of this and that is don’t be destroyed by other people’s minds!
Jaroslaw
#25 as a person who is NOT good looking, I find it sad that so often comments about people revolve around how good they look. You say no one mentioned it – maybe everyone isn’t as shallow as you. So, following your logic, someone who is unnattractive shouldn’t be missed if they commit suicide? It is sad when anyone commits suicide you superficial dirt bag!
peter
While it can be a tedious chore to deal with less than attractive people, I suppose they do have a right to a semblance of a happy life.
scott ny'er
@Michael: dude. you meant Black Pegasus not me. Make certain you respond to the correct people. I’m not the douche who stated gay lifestyle.
Jaroslaw
#29 – Peter – sorry unattractive people are a tedious chore and I do mean this sincerely – I hope you never have a car accident or some other disfiguring thing happen so you become less than handsome. You’d probably have to commit suicide too ’cause you couldn’t deal with it.
Nick
I have hung out with Bryan and he doesn’t deserve the wrath of the internet. This poor man was in pain and my instincts tell me it has nothing to be with being gay although I can see how many find that a probable cause. Could it be that we have all evolved and find a gay man with mental problems other than just being gay?
Jaroslaw
Nick- what exactly are you referring to “wrath of the internet?” I see mostly sympathy here.