Cher Still Struggles To Remember to Call Chaz ‘Him’
—Cher admits even she must still consciously work to correctly identify her son Chaz [Vanity Fair]
In my experience, mothers usually have the hardest time with the new name and pronouns. Not because of trans-phobia or resistance to the change, but just because its been so ingrained into their system. habits are hard to break.
The rest of us should be able to tell the difference between an honest mistake and someone who’s in denial.
She apologized for the mistakes, so I’ll cut her some slack on it.
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I remember reading that when Chaz was still Chastity and she came out to her parents, Sonny was more supportive than Cher, and the conflict in their relationship only came when he sponsored DOMA.
And this comment from Cher has got to be the single dumbest analogy I have ever read in my life. Chastity chose to become Chaz because she believed that her mental gender identity did not match that of her body. What Cher described sounds like the plot of a bad 1980s comedy.
I have mixed feelings about sex changes, or whether gender identity disorder is a real disorder, and I can’t really see a connection between gender identity and sexual orientation. I don’t understand what it it is like to feel like my body is the wrong gender, and no matter how many transgenders I meet in my lifetime, I will never have more than an outsider’s perspective. But I have no basis to condemn them.
Would it be offensive to say he looks like the guy who towed my car?
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@Queer Supremacist: So you question whether people fake being trans?
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@Queer Supremacist: It’s a birth defect. (I am a transsexual, and while knowing that doesn’t help much, at least it explains why we are the way we are. There’s nothing but heartbreak and hurt in being transsexual and whoever thinks it’s something to be proud of is a damn fool.)
Ultimately, the SRS itself is a band-aid (I am pre-op though) because unless science develops some way to completely fix the defect, there’s no true hope for a transsexual.
We do provide help to those of different orientations though. Anything that’s protective of us, will always protect a gay/lesbian/bisexual/etc person.
[If a femme gay male can't be fired for being gay, he can be fired for being femme because it violates gender roles. But if there are trans protections, that femme gay man (while not being transgender) cannot be fired because it still requires discrimination based on gender, although odds are if they wanted to get rid of him that much they'd find some new way.]
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I totally get what she’s saying. She’s not proud of her son for being trans, but for the dignity and maturity with which he’s handled it. And, FWIW, she seems to have handled it (at least in public) with dignity and maturity too. And if she’s still working out the pronouns, well, it takes time for parents to deal with who their adult children have become in all sorts of contexts. I would like to think she provides an extremely positive role model for other, less visible, parents who are going through similar experiences.
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@Queer Supremacist: Actually, Sonny was a complete asshole when (then-)Chastity came out, calling (then-)her (then-)lesbianism “unfortunate.”
Yes, he voted for DOMA after_ Chas/Chaz came out — and, during the House Judiciary Committee markup (review meeting) of DOMA, Bono said to Barney Frank: “I’m not homophobic. I simply can’t handle it yet, Barney. I wish I was ready, but I can’t tell my son it’s OK … I can’t go as far as you deserve, and I’m sorry.”
Here (among many other sources):
http://home.conservativebabylo.....onny-bono/
Hear tell Cher went to pieces when Chas/Chaz came out, but I can’t imagine how disparaging one’s daughter’s lesbianism in public, and then voting to outlaw any chance she had to marry — a right Bono himself abused no less than four times, while insisting same-sex marriages weren’t “real” marriages — could possibly be considered “supportive.”
It’s up to Chaz if he wants to forgive his old man for being such a homophobic bigot — but the fact remains he was a homophobic bigot, who did his share to fuck over the rest of us LGBTs for these past 15 years, and perhaps forever. (A DOMA repeal is dead — colder, stiffer, and buried deeper than a DADT repeal at this point.)
“Supportive”? Maybe Chaz wants to believe so. That’s his right. But Sonny fucked us all, but good.
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I think it’s understandable. After all, Cher gave birth to a girl. It’s going to take time to refer to her offspring as a boy. What being a boy has to do with robbing a bank is another story. Other than that, who gives a fuck what Cher thinks, or even IF she thinks.