CIA Launches Gay Infusion For Iran

The U.S. government will not take the Iranian queer crisis lying down. Jon Carroll and his investigative skills have uncovered a once-secret CIA plot to infiltrate Iran and set things straight:

CIA sources have been saying privately for some time that advanced satellite imaging has revealed traces of gays in the area around Tehran, but other pundits were skeptical. “The idea that gays have a different heat signature is an unproven hypothesis,” said spokesperson Leslie Tracy.

Now, in the wake of Ahmadinejad’s candid admission, a team of gay proselytizers is being formed in a humanitarian effort to bring Iran up to First World standards. “Never let it be said,” said Col. Tracy Leslie of the Revolutionary Gay Army, “that America sat idly by while another nation suffered through a decades long gay drought.”

Bless…

(Thanks to Michael Petrelis for this hilarious piece of satire!)