Queerty is better as a member
Unless the straight couple getting married don’t support marriage equality then you should go to their wedding. Unless you can’t for some reason or just don’t like weddings. I’m very choosy about which weddings I attend. But I wouldn’t refuse an invitation and use “boycott” as an excuse. That’s just childish.
@Gigi Gee: yeah this is really a no brainer. no point in punishing those who would stand by you and want to come to your wedding one day.
the other people though? You can RUIN their wedding instead
The answer in the article seems exactly right to me. What benefit is there, really, to “boycott” a celebration for someone you love just because it’s legally binding and, if you had one yourself, it wouldn’t be?
You should totally boycott the weddings of straight people who don’t support marriage equality.
The polite way to RSVP in that case is “Fuck off”.
What a dumb question to ask! If I were his niece, and read this, I would not invite such a bitter person to my wedding. Unless the niece or her boyfriend are homophobes…I can’t even believe he would have such a petty attitude.
Wouldn’t you boycotting your niece’s wedding be EXACTLY what we are fighting against as gays (people boycotting our weddings)?
I think he should go to the wedding. Mr Petrow is right. Family trumps politics. I think he will regret not going to the wedding. I’m assuming if his niece fought to pass Amendment One, then they wouldnt exactly be as close as they are.
The person asking the question is an idiot. I would never boycott the marriage of someone who supports my right to marry. Unless that family member is against gay marriage (which is another way of saying homophobic IMHO) then you need to support them just as they would you. Is this person asking the question REALLY that dense?
check it out. share it with family. there are ways for marrying-heterosexuals to take a stand for LGBT Equality :D
I’m surprised at all the comments bashing the question asker. While I do think he should reconsider and attend (especially if he’s close to his niece and her mother), I don’t think it’s “dumb” and “idiotic” to become more and more offended (maybe ‘envious’ is a better word) by all of our allies partaking in rights that we are denied. But I do agree that we need our allies, and we should praise/support those allies who refuse to get married until it’s legal for all… but not necessarily punish those who DO choose to get married (especially if they are close friends/family).
On the other hand, if this niece and her finance actively supported Amendment One and voted for it, then yes, I think you have every right to boycott–but be classy about it. Politely decline, stating that you don’t feel comfortable attending weddings until marriage is legal for all (and I’d avoid making it sound like you’re shaming them). And include a small wedding gift. She’s still your niece.
Wow, since when did Queerty readers become so pathetic?
What if African Americans were restricted from legally getting married and were constantly being invited to White weddings? Would this columnist and all of the readers be so quick to label them as insensitive or tell them they just need to take the “high road”? You want to trivialize my lack of civil rights as an issue of “politics”? Telling someone to take the high road when they are trying to take a stand against bigotry (9x/10 the wedding is at a church that doesn’t believe gays should marry) is more than just insensitive, it’s outright offensive. It’s like trying to make a vegetarian dinner guest feel guilty for not eating the pot roast you spent all day making.
Sadly, the reason we continue to struggle with gaining equality is because we are so apathetic. Instead of firmly demanding and expecting our rights, we thank and appreciate straights for “tolerating” and “accepting” us. I’m all for allies and I have plenty of them, straight and gay….but all of my allies feel the same way I do, they wouldn’t be allies if they didn’t.
@Pedro1989: I hear you! I thought the same thing as I read his letter. Someone’s getting bitter and cranky in his old age. It’s not like they took the right away from us. We’ve never been able to marry but it’s getting closer! Now is not the time to turn against straight marriage.
I actually read another response elsewhere… the writer pointed out that the niece may have missed an opportunity to acknowledge the awkwardness of the situation and show support for her uncle at the same time.
Truly, I’m over people being such clods about gay discrimination. We’re not humorless, or sensitive, we’re f’n sick of the casual acceptance of our crappy treatment. They now know too much… Yeah, yeah, it’s the bride’s special day, but she also needs to get a clue & schedule a 1 on 1 w/ her uncle.
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