What do you get when a right-wing preacher holds a Mr. Hetero contest in Massachusetts? A whole lotta’ nothing. A small group of protestors showed up to watch the small group of closeted – we mean straight – men competing in the pageant.

There had been much build-up to the Mr. Heterosexual contest, the brainchild of the Rev. Tom Crouse, pastor of Holland Congregational Church. Rev. Crouse, who has criticized Muslim and Catholic beliefs in his writings, preaches against homosexuality, calling it a sin that the Bible teaches against. […]

As part of the contest, they had to talk about uses for duct tape, show how they proposed to their wives or how they would propose to someone, and they had a food-guessing game in which they had to identify what they were eating while wearing blindfolds.

In between contests, Rev. Crouse spoke of dispelling sin and the need for accepting Jesus Christ. Several pastors were on hand to speak to anyone in the crowd.

Of course, when we first heard of a Mr. Hetero contest, we were all ears, hoping it would be a bevy of Speedo clad straight guys but we should’ve known better. Instead it was just your usual gang of closeted right wingers trying to prove to everyone how ‘not-gay’ they are. And what’s up with the blindfolds? Kinky.

Mr. Hetero draws small crowd [Worcester Telegram-Gazette]