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Clothing That Hides Your Fat: Respectable? Or For Liars?

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Women have Spanx. But what do men have to sneakily shape-shift their body without a personal trainer? We’ve seen the infomercials for contouring clothing — essentially girdle-inspiring apparel to wear underneath your outerwear to hide, uh, “trouble” spots.

But now there’s Equmen’s Core Precision Undershirt that, in addition to claims that it “improves posture,” “supports core muscles,” “controls body temperature,” and “promotes circulation,” also “visibly streamlines and slims.” Or, in even more dubious marketing speak, this shirt uses “physiotherapy taping techniques to sculpt, tone and improve body mechanics.”

Basically, it’ll hide your spare tire. (If you’re so inclined, there’s also a singlet version available.) This is great news if you just wolfed down an extra cheese pizza on a Friday night and then your crush happens to call and invites you to get a drink. But, practically speaking, do people wear these things?

OWN UP: Have you considered buying contour clothing? Do you already own some? Which brands beat expectations to hold in your gut? And does wearing these garments amount to lying to potential mates, or do they amount to nothing more than a woman in a bra?

By:           editor editor
On:           Jul 7, 2009
Tagged: , ,

  • 23 Comments
    • cufflinks
      cufflinks

      I would consider wearing one if they worked. I work out and watch my diet but my stomach just protrudes no matter what I do — even if I do 500 crunches a day.

      I’ve made peace with my imperfect body but it could be nice to have one of these undergarments to wear if I had to go to an event in a nice form fitting suit. I’m not hoping to fool anyone into thinking I’m a swimsuit model, I’m just trying to enhance my figure — like when a woman puts on a push up bra when she’s in the mood.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 1:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • emb
      emb

      Interesting question. Since ALL clothing is usually chosen to hide weaknesses, emphasize strengths, and generally enhance personal appearance, I’m not sure that wearing a particularly tight t that “smooths, lifts, and separates” as the case may be really constitutes lying any more than wearing a loose untucked Oxford that flows around a person’s contours rather than a snug polo that displays every contour, hair and mole. Unless someone is walking around stark naked, there’s always an element of hidden-ness and artificiality.

      Speaking of artificiality, though, I think the artificial bun-enhancements or puffed-up plastic frontal packages (or chest beards for that matter) DO constitute physical misleadery.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 1:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • james p. p.
      james p. p.

      holy crap… they are 89 to 109 each. isn’t easier to starve yourself? cheaper too.

      good lord. for that price, you can get a gym membership and that way when you take your trick back home you can fuck with the lights ON…..

      Jul 7, 2009 at 1:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • curt wilde
      curt wilde

      i was thinking about this debate recently oddly enough…i’m pretty much average body type so i don’t think i would get it but for someone else it mite be ok. i think it depends on ur body type n where ur fat is stored. it mite be kinda hot but again u can’t be too over weight or else its obvious

      Jul 7, 2009 at 1:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fitz
      Fitz

      The clothes are silly, in their pricing. It’s just a compression shirt. Go to the sports store and buy a bike shirt which is too small, and you will get the same effect.

      I have no problem with false advertising. All clothing does that. One of the companies (Aussi?) even sells underwear to make you look hung.

      The problem is success: if you lure a trick home and take off your garment and look like a doughboy, it’s not going to work.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 1:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cody
      Cody

      I’m a cheap bastard. I buy Under Armour. To me, they seem to do the same trick. And yes, I own up to owning a lot of these pieces.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 1:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Not So Fast Cowboy
      Not So Fast Cowboy

      What is a “chest beard” ?

      Jul 7, 2009 at 2:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TANK
      TANK

      You evolved an index finger for a reason.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 2:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • M Shane
      M Shane

      Bondabge freaks might get off on it. If you are trying to attract a sex partner your relationship will have to happen in jammies or you’ll lose it once you shed your wrapper. I talked to someone who was to unmotivated for this who wasn’t that heavy but just didn’t like food discipline so “feel in love” with someone who’s affectional needs went to kissing(?) as did his apparently (sex or food?)

      The guy in the picture can’t be covering much chub.

      Basically I think that there’s a truth that goes with all substance abuse disorders. Either be happy with the consequences of[ fatness ]or stop eating and exercise: it works %100 of the time. Also you prolong your life by many, years.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 2:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tintin Malfoy
      Tintin Malfoy

      @james p. p.: Tee-hee, I agree.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 2:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TANK
      TANK

      You don’t necessarily prolong your life by many years if you exercise and eat the right things. Lots of people who take great care of themselves and exercise on a daily basis die young.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 2:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Rob
      Rob

      @cufflinks: You can’t lose belly fat by doing crunches. There’s no such thing as spot reduction. If you want to lose fat in a particular part of your body, you need to lose fat all over.

      http://www.stumptuous.com/abdominal-training

      Jul 7, 2009 at 2:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sal(the original)
      sal(the original)

      yet they choose an already buff guy to advertise the product??sound like it sooooo works

      Jul 7, 2009 at 3:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MackMike
      MackMike

      All my fat is stored in my head…do they make a hat? ;o)

      Jul 7, 2009 at 4:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hardmannyc
      hardmannyc

      These products are all ridiculous for one simple reason: body fat has to go somewhere. If you take it up, you look like you have major manboobs and a barrel chest. If you take it down — well, there’s no where to go down.

      And Cufflinks: If you exercise and eat very, very rigorously (as opposed to just watching it), you’ll lose the spare tire. I don’t have one, but I have to watch every morsel that goes in my mouth.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 5:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrianZ
      BrianZ

      I don’t wear it, don’t need it tbh.

      I don’t think wearing it really puts one in the category of liar. If you are that over-weight as to be categorized as a liar then chances are the amount of compression required to make you look thin would pop your head off or shoot your intestines out your ass.

      I’m all about keeping America beautiful.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 6:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DC
      DC

      @MackMike:

      Hehe, sounds like a shower cap would work in this case. Obviously it would make anyone 100% more attractive :P.

      Jul 7, 2009 at 6:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SFNative
      SFNative

      Not every gay man goes for skinny guys. Some like me prefer bears and bigger men, and it’s absolutely fine. Why is this website appearing to be fat-phobic?

      Also, this website is called Queerty, but it seems all the soft porn are for gay lovers – what about the soft porn for Lesbians, or is this website really “Gayty” deep down?

      Jul 8, 2009 at 9:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Marius
      Marius

      I’m of the untucked shirt school. They are the same price as regular shirts.

      Jul 8, 2009 at 9:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • detroitmak
      detroitmak

      In the end these things can only make you appear 10-15lbs less then what you normally wood. A few years back i would have said 10-15lbs doesn’t make a difference, but for the past 5 years i have lost a total of 50lbs @10lbs a year, and every 10lbs i lost would get me a large increase in attention when out and about.

      I have never considered wearing these things, but it seems every 10-15lbs makes a world of difference, so why not… but in the end do i want or really even need that added superficial attention.

      Jul 8, 2009 at 9:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike Hathaway
      Mike Hathaway

      As someone who’s lost almost 200 lbs, I would totally use something similar if I was going out to a dress-to-impress event. But for a date or out with friends – honesty all the way.

      Jul 8, 2009 at 10:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael vdB
      Michael vdB

      Flaws make us who we are. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider improvement, but just don’t overdo it.

      Jul 8, 2009 at 10:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • M Shane
      M Shane

      BTW @ No. 1 · cufflinks: it used to be said that too much stomach work would cause bigger midriffs later on. I’m not sure, but sometimes I think that somethng like running where you are forced to tuck are the best thing.

      Jul 11, 2009 at 8:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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