Oh, hallelu! The constitutional court of Colombia has ruled that gay couples no longer have to face legal persecution when they do the outlandish, in-your-face, totally inappropriate acts of holding hands or kissing in public. May the joyous tears of Equality freely flow!
A security guard forced two men to leave a mall in Cali, Colombia after they were found publicly smooching. You know, the very same activity heterosexuals are caught doing at every turn, shoving their straightness down our throats. The court saw the light and decided, miraculously, that what’s good enough for the straights is good for the gays. It was decided that booting out the gay couple violated their human rights, and that the actions of the security guard displayed “discrimination that only affected gay couples.”
Nevermind that homosexuality hasn’t been a crime in Colombia for 32 years, that in 2007 and 2008 gay couples were granted property rights, social security and pensions equal to straight folks, and that last year a gay American father was allowed to take his legally adopted Colombian sons out of the country. Nevermind that the ad above has already been seen in the South American nation. The most important piece of gay rights needing an actual court ruling is to grant same-sex couples the right to equally obnoxious public displays of affection as heterosexuals.
You can now brazenly rub your partner’s back sans fear of retribution in front of Bogota’s version of The Gap. That homophobic security guard thinking he’s on a Latin American version of Cops will now think twice about imposing his own warped morality on us. Oh, blessed day!