Same-sex couples may not be able to get married in Colorado, but they sure can get divorced.
That’s the case for Juli Yim and Lorelei Jones, who married in Massachusetts in 2009. Their divorce was finalized on Monday, setting a legal precedent for married gays seeking to dump their partners outside of the state where they were originally and blissfully wed.
According to Yim, hers and Jones’ relationship “went sour fast.” Though she’s not necessarily going to throw a gay parade over her divorce, Yim is happy that after trying for years “to take care of this,” she finally lives “in a state that allowed” her to get a divorce.
The question of divorce can proved tricky in some states, particularly the ones which require in-state residency. For exes that have moved to Texas, or wherever have you, that can be a big pain in the conjugals.
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“A lot of people kind of think if they went on vacation to Iowa or Massachusetts or New York and got married and came back to their state, that when they break up they can just go their separate ways,” Yim’s lawyer, Kyle Martelon, told The Colorodoan. “It’s not like that.”
Colorado’s civil union law legally recognizes out-of-state marriages by same-sex couples, providing protections such as division of property as well as financial responsibility, parental visitation and child support for former spouses, as long as one individual has lived in Colorado for 90 days.
“Colorado treats (dissolutions) like a regular divorce, which is great, because in many ways, a civil union dissolution is just like a divorce,” Martelon said. “It incorporates the same laws.”
Now that she’s a free woman, Yim can marry her high school ladyfriend, Suzie Calvin. They plan to marry next May, probably in another state since Colorado will probably not have full marriage equality by then. One word of advice to Suzie, though: pre-nup.
kurt_t
And that’s one aspect of the marriage issue that people are reluctant to talk about, but it’s important. Sometimes divorce is the best outcome for a couple, and marriage makes divorce possible. Judge Judy Sheindlin, in one of her books (I want to say Keep it Simple, Stupid.), says that there are three things no unmarried couple should ever do: have children, buy real estate, and open a joint bank account. The reason you shouldn’t do those things is that the law doesn’t know what to do with an unmarried couple’s children, real estate and joint bank account when the couple splits up, but when you’re married, things are pretty straightforward.
I think that both sides of the marriage equality debate tend to lose sight of the idea that marriage is a civil contract. It’s not God’s magical pixie dust from heaven. It’s not Ryan O’Neil and Ali McGraw in a rowboat. Maybe it’s those things to you, but what it is from a legal standpoint is it’s a contract, and one of the convenient things about contracts is they can be dissolved.
BJ McFrisky
In others words, Be careful what you wish for, for you just might get it.
Rock2XL
@kurt_t: Excellent, Kurt, if you have a blog, then I would like to follow it! I went through a “gay divorce!” Got a protective order to put him out. His attorney got him “visitation rights,” which proved to be a nightmare, to his exotic plant collection, as it couldn’t be removed immediately. I first had my attorney file for “Partition of Realty.” He had not paid one penny toward the expenses involved with purchasing our home, but only bought furnishings that I wouldn’t, more exotic plants, and an enormous amount of porno for his exclusive use! Despite what I was paying her, my attorney wouldn’t argue over pictures of the dog, etc. — I waited until she died before filing — and we went into binding arbitration. I won’t go into any more details, but suffice it to say that it was an extremely ugly “divorce!” I wonder how it might have been different if we had been in a legal civil union. I had to pay him even more to settle as just putting his name on the deed made ownership 50/50!
Spike
Shock & awe . . . .
Gay Divorce = Lesbian Divorce
Rock2XL
@kurt_t: I’d like to draw a dichotomy between marriage, which is a civil contact, and (Holy) Matrimony, which includes legal marriage where the legal conditions are met, but is a religious ceremony where two people take each other into the bonds of Matrimony. As an alternative where legal marriage is denied, gay couples, for hundreds if not thousands of years, have married in such a ceremony but it provides no legal standing for the couple. “God’s magical pixie dust” notwithstanding.
I have attended several of these ceremonies myself.
Red Meat
Why are lesbians always getting divorce? Its like a thing for them over in New York.
tanvy
I’d prefer to bring the dichotomy concerning matrimony, which is a civil contact, as well as (Holy) Matrimony, which include authorized matrimony in which the authorized disorders are generally satisfied, but can be a faith based wedding where a couple consider one another in the provides involving Matrimony. Instead where authorized matrimony can be refused, homosexual lovers, with regard to lots in any other case a huge number of decades, include married in such a wedding nevertheless it supplies no authorized position to the few. “God’s marvelous pixie dust” however.
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Spike
@Red Meat: Same reason what 70% of str8t divorces are initiated by the wife, it’s a female thing. Blame the spouse for their not being happy.